TIER 3 AZ EXPECTED! = NEE FANS INSIDE SJP!

 Posted '2:24am bells' Friday 18th December 2020   Updated Saturday

An empty SJP before the WBA game!  It will be the same for the visit of Liverpoool near the end of the month (sorry aboot the picture quality!)

The north east is to remain under Tier 3 restrictions til at least the end of December at the bequest of Boris and Co!

This meenz that there will be nee NUFC fans allowed into ST. JAMES' PARK for wor Premyaa Leegue game v Liverpoool on December 30th (Wor 14th home game in a row that we cannit watch in the flesh!)

The Northern Leegue haz postponed AALL fixtures for tomorrow az anly 150 fans will be allowed to attend games, with clubhooses forced to close!

 Nee food or drinks can be sold, even at outside kiosks!

Az these clubs depend on food and drink sales to stay afloat, the decision woz taken to cancel games az they are unviable!  (Wot a farce!)

PS: We had planned to gan to Northern Leegue Carlisle City's game V Billingham Synthonia for wor Saturday groundhop fix! (Now off of course!)

We are now gannin to Dunston, where a friendly haz been arranged against The Pit Yakkers of Ashington! (Own cans of ale to be taken in and consumed!)

And then afterwards of course, it's back yem to watch NUFCs home game v Fulim on mee laptop! (Kick off '8:00 bells' on a pirate channel!☠(Allegedleee!) 

Some bad news though. 2 unnamed Toon players are said to have 'long covid' symptoms and will be missin for a while, while 5 others (aalso unnamed) will be missin az well!

Updated '6:50 pm bells'

'Broken Nose Bruce' haz just said on Look North: "If yoo get 20 points by Christmas you'd be jumpin up and down!" (NUFC have 17) 

This iz just how far wor expectations have faallen in the last 13 years under 'The Fat Controller's leadership? (Oh for a takeower by a Saudi prince!🙏)

Match report on both games in due course!

Updated '12:33pm bells' Saturday 19th December

DUNSTON'S GAME V ASHINGTON HAZ BEEN CAALLED OFF AT THE LAST MINUTE!---so we have nee games to gan tee to get wor Saturday fix!

We have nee idea why, but fear and guess that 'the bat out of hell' virus has struck yet again!🦇😳

LEEEDZ V THE TOON *** '6 BELLS' TOONEET!

 Posted from '5:05pm bells' onwards! Wedinzday 16th December 2020

The Geordie Times will update any score az it happens!

Will be watchin on mee laptop!

The game kicks off with Big Ted,Little Ted and Mr Penguin in attendance!(Toon in dark strip)

 

*GOAL! HENDRICK SHOT

1-0 UP 25TH MINUTE!

goal  1-1 bamford 34th minute

HT 1-1  Leeedz the much better team

Lucky to be level at the break! 

goal 2-1 to leeedz 60th minute

GOAL! CLARK 

HEEDER 68TH MINUTE! 2-2

goal Leeedz retake the lead 78th minute

(Sean Longstaff mistayk!)

goal 4-2 to Leeedz   game ower! 82nd minute

goal definitely game ower

5-2 doon 87th minute 

FT 5-2 to Leeedz!😖

DOON TO ORTH (Earth) WITH A BANG!💥

PS: Broken Nose Bruce said that we matched them for 78mins.  The facts says otherwise: 30% possession to us, 70% to them, plus they had nearly 3 times az many shots than we did!

A futbaall match lasts 90mins, Steve!

LEEEDZ V THE TOON *** 25 IN A ROW!

 Posted 'just after high noon bells' Wedinzday 16th December 2020

HAZ ⬇️IT⬇️ REEELY ⬇️COME⬇️ TO⬇️ THIS?⬇️

The Newport game on mee mobile tellin' bone!

*Havin' been to every competitive Toon game in a 25 year period and doin 1,201 games in a row, that run came to an abrupt end, becoz of the 'bat out of hell' pandemic, when we played Sheff United at SJP behind closed doors last Joon! 

In total contrast and since then, I will have missed 25 games in a row after we play Leeedz tooneet (With nee fans allowed in, of course!)

Since then I have 'Tellyhopped' and watched or hord NUFC in various locations, from pub big screens,(when the pubs are open!), the grandbairns hoose TV, mee mates hoose TV and in wor hoose, on a dodgy channel on mee laptop and mobile telling' bone!----and av even listened to one on mee van's radio!(on mee drive!) (I don't have Sky etc!)

Of course aall NUFC fans are in 'the same boat az me' and with the Tier 3 restrictions still in place, it looks like we will be 'tellyhoppin' for some time to come!

The virus haz of course struck wor team and several players and staff have been very ill with it, includin' Isaac Hayden who spent TEN days in bed with it!!! (We wish them aall a very speedy recovery!)

While Hayden haz recovered and played against WBA last Saturday, 2 unnamed players are reported to be very unwell!

We will be depleated again tooneet and we will have a clue an hour before the '6:00 bells' kick off just who iz fit and available?

The sooner the 'miracle' vaccine haz been rolled oot and virus iz hopefully gone, then things can get back to some form on normality, when the pubs and tornstiles reopen, with 52,000 screamin' (drunken!) Geordies inside SJP! 

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime later, after watchin' the game yet again on mee laptop! (That shud read 'tryin to watch', az the picture will probably freeze a few times!)

Oh to gan to an away game again and be back into mee seat in row 'B', seat '97' of The Milburn Stand balcony for home games!

PS: Boris will announce this afternoon wot 'Tier' we will be in---we fully expect that we will remain in 'Tier 3' (ie: nee pubs open, nee fans at SJP!)

We will of course tell yoo the answer later!

"AND THEN THERE WOZ 4!"

 Posted 'just after midneet bells' Tuesday 15th December 2020

News that London has been placed into Tier 3 iz thanx in the main to The Geordie Times who forced Matt Hancock the health secretary into a 'U' turn, to take them oot of Tier 2! (Az they had a much higher infection rate than 'us'!) (See posts below!)

This meenz that aall 6 London Premyaa Leegue clubs can nee langer let fans into their groonds!  

The north east and the rest of the country who were in Tier 3--will remain in the same Tier!

This leaves just 4 sides who can let 2,000 fans in, oot of the 20 top flight clubs!

An unfair advantage to the 2 scouse clubs and 2 from the south coast in Tier 2 (Brighton, Soothampton, Liverpoool and Everton) if yoo ask us!

Until every team iz on the same level playin field, then these 4 teams will surely have the upper hand on the rest!

Aall or nothing!--iz the fairest way!

And az for the boozers enforced closures!-----Roll on 2021!

NEVAA MIND 'THE SMOKE'---WOT ABOOT 'US'!?

 Posted '2:28pm bells' Munday 14th December 2020

"TIME GENTLEMEN PLEEEEZE!"

News that pubs and restaurants in London are pleading with Boris not to put them into Tier 3, as it will be the death knell for them!---But wot aboot the north east which has been in total pub lockdoon for the last 7 weeks!

         Poor old London---But wot aboot US!?

Aalso, even when pubs here could open a '10:00 pm bells' restriction woz imposed, which woz totally unnecessary! (Az it has torned oot!)

The infection rate in London is HIGHER now than it iz 'here', where infection rates have been halved!

Of course London clubs can aalso admit 2,000 fans to their groonds, while St. James' Park must stay 'fan free'!-- grossly unfair on aall counts!

Indeed government ministers have admitted that there iz nee evidence to back up the claim that shuttin pubs etc haz saved a single life!

(Wot a farce--pub workers are losin their job for nee reason at aall!)

😳 😱 🥶

 

There will be 'hell on' if we stay in Tier 3 and London stays in Tier 2!

We await in trepidation az to the decision!

*Footnote: London is known as 'The smoke' as pollution levels were 'sky high' 100 years ago!

PS: The Geordie Times haz publishin' a coronavirus 'Premyaa Leegue table' below!

Az per usual, "Watch this space!"

LATEST CORONAVIRUS CASES PER 100,000 FOR PREMYAA LEEGUE CLUBS!

 Posted '2:28pm bells' Munday 14th December 2020

Clubs in gold can currently let 2,000 fans in

Clubs in pink must play behind closed doors!

The least 'bat out of hell' coronavirus cases, to the worst, 

'Premyaa Leegue' table December 2020

Brighton 65 cases per 100,000 (1st to 7th December)

Southampton 76

Everton 91 

Liverpool 91

Newcastle 111

Fulham 112 (Hammersmith and Fulham, London)

Chelsea 112 (Hammersmith and Fulham, London)

Sheff U 132

Arsenal 134 (Islington, London)

Leeds 138

Crystal Palace 187 (Croydon, London)

Aston Villa 196

Man City 174

Man U 174

West Brom 196

Spurs 219 (Haringay, London)

Wolves 244

Leicester 254

Burnley 270

West Ham 295 (Newham, London)

Az yoo can clearly see Newcastle Upon Tyne haz one of the lowest coronavirus infection rates and iz 5th in 'the leegue' table!  And just in case yoo are wonderin, nearby Gatesheed haz just 81 cases per 100,000 

West Ham, unbelievably, can lets fans into their stadium with more than 3 times the number of cases than 'The Toon'! (184 less cases than West Ham)

Indeed AALL 6 London clubs boroughs have a higher rate!

 We've said this before!---There will be 'hell on' if London clubs can continue to let fans in, while those with lower 'bat out of hell' rates, must continue to play in front of empty seats!

"I REST MY CASE!"

IT'S NOT A LEVEL PLAYIN' FEEELD!

 Posted '6:00pm bells' Saturday 28th November 2020

Updated 'high noon bells' Munday 14th December 2020

"DUCKS BEWARE OF FLYIN' BALLS!"

"ALL OR NOTHING!"

*10 of the 20 Premyaa Leegue clubs can let 2,000 fans into their stadiums under the Tier 2 rule, while those in Tier 3 (includin' NUFC) must continue to play in front of empty seats!

OK, 2,000 isn't many in a 50,000 or 60,000 seater stadium, BUT it still IZ an unfair advantage ower the 10 that cannit let anybody in at aall!

Just why the north east iz in Tier 3 with lower rates than some parts of London, which haz been placed in Tier 2, iz beyond us here at 'The Geordie Times'? (ie: Boris'z London mates get the cream, while we get the sour milk!)

Of course its great that fans are allowed back in, but it shud be for AALL 20 clubs and not just the south and Liverpoool! (Plus those in the lower divisions az well, of course!)

In total 44 of the 92 leegue clubs can let fans in, BUT 48 cannit!

 Liverpoool, who are in Tier 2, which iz just 30 miles from Manchester in Tier 3, will have an unfair advantage, az will London clubs fightin relegation, like Fulim and Palliss ower those in the higher tier! 

It's farcical!---everybody in Ing-er-land shud be in the same tier!

And from a neutral point of view!

And az for the poor pubs and clubs in Tier 3---how many will survive, with a possible lockoot til March next year?

There are 4 pubs and clubs in The Toon which I used to drink in, but have never reopened since the forst lockdoon last March---Namely, The Bodega, The Star, The Monkey Bar and The Leazes End Club (aka The Companions Club) SO just how many more will 'bite the dust' before NEXT March, I ask meesel?

Of course 'the bat out of hell' pandemic must be brought under control, but if people from Manchester, for example, can jump on a train to Liverpoool for a pint of 'liquid lubrication', less than an hour away, then it surely will get worse, and defeats the daft 'Tiers' system!

Even the 'elite' non leegue futbaall scene in the north east haz been decimated, with clubs in 'step 2' of the futbaall pyramid, like Gatesheed, Spennymoor, Blyth and Darlo, unable to let fans in, even though gates are very low at these clubs!---How many will survive this, if the lockoot continues?

In othaa words we shud aall be in the same boat, and NOT give preferential treatment to London, Brightin, Sooothampton and Liverpoool etc!----It will aall end in TIERS for certain!😭

Teams in GREEN can let 2,000 fans in---

while those in RED must play behind closed doors!

THE TOON 2 THE BAGGIE TROOSERS 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2020-2021

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 13th December 2020

THE WINNIN GOAL SCORED BY SUPER SUB DWIGHT GAYLE!

(On centre of the 6 yard line)

COVID 19 (SECONDS!)

It took The Toon just 19 seconds from kick off to open the scorin at The Leazes End when a through baall from Joelinton foond Almiron and he rifled a shot into the corner of the net with the West Brom keeper well beaten! (see photos below)

ALMIRON'S GOAL FROM 2 TELLY ANGLES 

(The fastest goal in the Premyaa Leegue this season!)

"VIRUS VICTORY!"

That this game woz takin place at aall woz a suprize to many, as the NUFCs trainin groond in Benton had been forced to close because of the covid 19 outbreak, which forced the postponement of the Villa game last week!

Wor manager 'Broken Nose Bruce' had said that many 1st teamers would be missin because of this and that the game could be postponed!

However!---az it turns oot, 8 players who had played at Pallis a fortneet orlier WERE available and therefore the game could bee played!

A cunning ploy by Bruce to fool the opposition  into believing that several players from wor U23s team would be drafted into the starting 11!

THE BROON ALE WOZ READY FOR THE KICK OFF IN FRONT OF A ROARIN FIRE!

(Tex Taylor's hoose)

The orly goal for us didn't make us gan for 'the jugular' and we paid the price for not killin the game off, when West Brom equalised in the 5th minute of the 2nd half with a fine strike by Furlong!

At this point it looked like that sits 2nd bottom of the table would get a 2nd goal, but we stuck in and defended stoically!

 Then the ace card woz played by 'Old Broken Nose'--he sent Dwight Gayle on in the 69th minute and straight away he had a heeder on target, which woz cleared off the line by a *Baggie Troosers defender!

And then just a few minutes after this, a pinpoint cross from Murphy foond Gayle's heed and he connected 'with perfect precision' to send the baall into the top corner of the goal at The Gallowgate End in the 80th minute!

An absolutely fabulous goal in this dour game in front of nee fans of course, coz we are in Tier 3! (The sooner we can gan back, the better---There iz nee fun havin to watch The Toon on a telly in somebody's hoose----even the pubs are shut up here!)

This goal killed the game off and we secured the 3 valuable points to send us up to 11th place in the table! (For the time being at least!)

To be clear, apart from the 3 great goals, (aye! Furlong's goal for WBA woz a canny strike az well!) there wasnt much else to shout aboot, az the 2 team battled it oot in the rain 5 miles west from where we were watchin', in Howdon-on-Tyne!

*Official attendance in Tex Taylor's hoose: 2!

*Explanation: We caall West Brom 'The Baggie Troosers' az their nickname iz 'The Baggies' coz they used to wear 'baggie' shorts in the 19th century!

THE TOON V THE BAGGIE TROOSERS OF WEST BROM

 Posted from '2:35pm bells' onwards Saturday 12th December 2020

Updates when/if goals are scored

     ALMIRON (ON LEFT) GOAL

Kick off '3:00 bells

20 seconds Almiron GOAL

1-0 to The Toon HT

(Match report on Sunday)

49th minute  equaliser Furlong

1-1

GoAL! GAYLE 2-1 TO US

DWIGHT GAYLE HEEDER (on 6 yard line,centre) THAT WON THE GAME FT 2-1 TO THE TOON!🤪80th minute

Official attendance in Tex Taylor's hoose: 2!

Geordie Times Tellyhoppers match report tomorrow!

HELLS BELLS! @ '3 BELLS' ON SATURDAY!

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Friday 11th December 2020

               NUFCs trainin groond!

BRUCE'S PRE MATCH EXCUSES!

NUFCs game tomorrow WILL gan aheed and we will field a scratch team against The Baggie Troosers of West Brom az the 'bat out of hell' virus haz taken heavy toll on wor forst team squad!

Broken Nose Bruce haz ready made excuses shud we fail to beat WBA who sit 2nd bottom of the table!

Az many as 12 forst team squad players have went doon with the virus, some of them too Ill to even do light trainin at home, never mind play!

 And 2 staff are said to be very I'll az well! (We of course wish them aall a speedy recovery)

This meenz that several members of the U23s squad will have to be drafted into the side in this vital game before Xmas!

We say 'vital' as we must play The Blue Moonies on Boxin Day and The Liverbirds 4 days later, where wor goal difference is aalmost certain to take a 'hit'!

We await with baited breath to see the team line up, which will be annoonced 1 hour before tomorrow's '3 bells' kick off!

Az per usual , "Watch this space for more info!"

(Match report on Sunday!)