Friday 7 July 2017


Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 14th Joon 2017
Updated 'high noon bells' Friday 7th July 2017


The new Premyaa Leegue fixtures are now oot and have been 'kind' to us, with not too many 'big gun games' to start with! (Just 2 of last seasons 'top 6' in the forst 3 months (both at SJP)

We start off where we ended in The Premyaa Leegue last time with a home game v Sporz, who we thrashed 5-1 in front of a capacity crowd after we'd been relegated

Thankfully, unlike last season, AALL lang distance away games are 'pencilled in' for a weekend (roond trips of 500 miles or more)(for now!)

We visit The Olympic Stadium/London Stadium for the very forst time just before Xmas and travel to 'new Wembley' in mid March to face Sporz!
Of course many of the fixtures will be moved to accommodate Sky and BT and for teams who are playin' in Europe
(we reckon at least HALF wor fixtures will be moved!) 

Fixtures are in 'Geordie Times' cryptic code' to avoid any F.A copyright infringements (work them oot!) (For those of yoo with 'half a sheeps brain', there are 'clues' at the bottom of the page!)

Updated 7th July 2017
5 of wor forst 7 games have been moved to a Sunday and wor fixtures up until 1st October will not change and are in heavy type--- Home games in GOLD *** Away games in PINK
Aall othaa fixtures after this date could change
Next live telly games due to be announced on Friday 11th August

Sun 13: Sporz  home '1:30 bells' (SKY)
Sun 20: 'uddersfield away '1:30 bells' (SKY
Leegue Cup 2nd roond (ne dates or opponents yet)
Sat 26: The Jellied Eels Mob home '3 bells'

Sun 10: Swanzee away '4 bells' (SKY)
Sat 16: The P*ss Potters home '3 bells'
Sun 24: (ne where near) Brightin away '4 bells' (SKY)

October 2017
Sun 1: The Liverbirds home '4:30 bells' (SKY)
Sat 14: Sooothampton away
Sat 21: The Crystal Baalls home
Sat 28: Bornley away

November 2017
Sat 4: Bournemoooth home
Sat 18: Moan United away
Sat 25: Wotfaad home
Tue 28: The Baggie Troosers away

December 2017
Sat 2: Chelski OAPs away
Sat 9: The Basil Brush Brigade home
Wed 13: The Toffee Noses home
Sat 16: The Arse away
Sat 23: The Jellied Eels Mob away (new groond!)
Tue 26: Manc Blue Moonies home
Sat 30: (ne where near) Brightin home

January 2018
Sat 6: FA Cup 3rd roond  (draw not made yet of course!)
Sat 13: Swanzee home
Sat 20: Manc Blue Moonies away
Wed 31: Bornley home

February 2018
Sat 3: The Crystal Baalls away
Sat 10: Moan United home
Sat 24: Bournemoooth away

March 2018
Sat 3: The Liverbirds away
Sat 10: Sooothampton home
Sat 17: Sporz away (new Wembley!)
Sat 31: 'uddersfield home

Sat 7: The Basil Brush Brigade away
Sat 14: The Arse home
Sat 21: The Toffee Noses away
Sat 28: The Baggie Trooosers home

Sat 5: Wotfaad away
Sun 12: Chelski OAPs home (Last game date can't change)

Clues (for those of yoo who are 'clueless'!):

Sporz=Geordie Slang

'uddersfield=Yorkshire slang

The Jellied Eels Mob= A favourite delicacy in the east end of London

Swanzee=Geordie slang

The P*ss Potters=Part of the nickname for a Staffordshire club

(Ne where near) Brightin=This groond iz 6 miles from the centre of their toon, in the middle of 'ne where'!

The Liverbirds=It's the badge on their chests!

Sooothampton=Geordie slang

The Crystal Baalls=They play in a condemned 'palace'

Bornley=Geordie slang

Bournemoooth=Geordie slang

Moan United=Their manager iz aalways 'moanin'

Wotfaad=Geordie slang

The Baggie Troosers=One of their nicknames, from a toon near Bormingham

Chelski OAPs=Their nickname used to be 'The Pensioners', az this iz the home of old war veterans

The Basil Brush Brigade=Their nickname iz 'The Foxes' who are former winners of The Premyaa Leegue

The Toffee Noses=Part of their nickname, from Morseyside

The Arse=Their fans are complete 'arseholes' who want rid of their manager, despite winnin' the FA Cup 3 times in the last 4 years?

Manc Blue Moonies=A Lancashire team who play in light blue

Geordie Times copyright warning!: The above fixtures are under strict 'cryptic code' copyright to 'The Geordie Times and any infringements will be severely dealt with!
Yoo will be arrested by men in white coats--placed into a straight jacket (kickin' and screamin' if necessary!)---marched to The Stadium of SHH! (yee naa wot!)---where yoo will be suspended (upside doon!) from a floodlight gantry---and forced to watch sund'linds forthcomin' home game against Burton Albion (whenever that iz played!)
We realise that this punishment is severe--but copyright MUST be protected!

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