Monday, 5 March 2012

THE TOON 1 THE SMBs 1-----HIGH NOON SHOOTOUT!

Updated '10:50 am bells' Monday 5th March 2012

"SEVEN HEAVEN FOR INJURY TIME TORMENTOR!"
"THIRSTY FANS QUEUE FOR A DRINK
IN THE POURIN' RAIN!"
"IT'S QWAATA TO TEN ON A SUNDAY MORNIN'!!!"

A dramatic goal from 'life saver' Shola Ameobi deep into injury time at the end of the match saved face for The Toon and sent the 2,650 SMBs in Level 7 of The Leazes End home to that dark place 'winless' yet again.
Wor '100 Pub Crawl Challenge' started off in 'Sinners' @ 10 bells as the bars in 'The Gate' werent yet open!

We had to wait in a smaall queue for it to open, az it 'p*ssed doon'!,while next door @ 'Sam Jacks' the queues stretched up the road towards 'The Gate' at 'qwaata to ten' az Toon fans waited anxiously for it to open! 

When 'The Gate' finally opened, we 'did' 'Players Bar' and 'Mood' before heedin' for 'The Newcastle Arms' for the final pre match 'gargels'!

THE BIG KICK OFF!
We didn't start off well, but within the forst thorty seconds the SMBs made their intentions known when  Cattamole 'scythed doon' Cheik Tiote in front of the dugoots in wot waz surely an automatic sendin' off for the mackem captain.----But NO!---Mike Dean the ref 'bottled it' and gave him a 'yellow' instead, much to the annoyance of Toon manager 'I Beg Your Pardew' who was just yards from the incident.
This set the tone for the rest of the match as the away side tried to kick seven lumps of sh*te oot of the Toon players!

We then gave away a needless penalty at mid point of the half when Mike Williamson tugged a mackem player shirt in the box and the ref pointed straight to the spot!
The spot kick waz convorted by Bendtner to give them a rare lead against us.

We came close to an equaliser just before the break when Demba 'Ba' heeded against the 'bar' @ The Leazes End, but his effort boonced oot and we went in 1-0 doon at the break.

A different Newcasel came oot for the second half and we laid siege to The Gallowgate goal but couldn't find the equaliser.

The tornin' point of the game came in the 58th minute when Sessegnon elbowed Tiote and he waz given a straight 'red' by Dean to reduce the SMBs to 10 men.
The siege continued on The Gallowgate goal and from this point the mackems hardly got oot of their half.

Shola Ameobi was then brought into the 'fray' when he came on for Cisse in the 72nd minute much to the dread of the visitin' fans. (he's scored quite a few goals against them!)

They were quite right of course az just 10 minutes later in the 82nd minute he was brought doon in the box and again the ref pointed straight to the spot.

Demba Ba took it but his shot was parried away by the mackem keeper and aall hope of avoidin' defeat looked lost!

HOWEVER!---deep into injury time with the SMB hoards whistlin' frantically for the final whistle, Mike Williamson made up for hiz penalty 'gaff' and back heeded the baall to SHOLA (who else!) and he tapped the baall into the net for hiz SEVENTH goal against the mackems, to send 50,000 Geordies wild with delight!

"GOAL!"---"SEVEN HEAVEN FOR SHOLA!"


We even had time for a winner, but Williamson scuffed a shot which went for a corner from the six yard box and soon after this the ref blew for full time!

Aaltogether 9 players were booked to add to the sendin' off and there was a fracas between Moanin' Martin and 'I Beg Your Pardew' on the final whistle, then Cattamole finally got 'his just desserts' and was sent off for abusin' the ref  after the final whistle!
"WHY DON'T YOU F*** OFF BACK TO THE DARK PLACE!?"

Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Williamson, Coloccini, Santon (Ben Arfa 46), Ryan Taylor (Lovenkrands 88), Cabaye, Tiote, Gutierrez, Ba, Cisse (Shola Ameobi the life saver 72!) 

Attendance:52,388 (2,650 SMBs) (this was the highest attendance @ St James' Park <(and aalways will be!) for 36 years!)  

It was then off to complete wor 'pub crawl' for the day and we were in celebratory mood az we left the groond, even though we hadn' t won it!

"THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE ---IZ!---DIVVINT LOSE TO THE SMBs!"

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