Wednesday, 9 February 2022

THE TOON 3 THE EVAATIN TOFFEE NOSES 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards Tuesday 9th February 2022



"A GREAT WIN! ---BUT DIVVINT COONT YAA DINOSAURS YET!" 🦖🦖🦖🦖🦖

Wor best win for many a year and I meen that most sincerely folks!

The crowd were certainly up for it and gave their backin from the kick off to the final whistle az we came back from an unfortunate own goal by Lascelles at The Gallowgate End in the 36th minute----to level things at The Leazes End 2 minutes later with anothaa bizzare own goal after Lascelles's heeder rebounded off the bar and hit an Evaatin defender and the baall ended up in the net!

We went aheed 11minutes into the 2nd half when Saint Max sent in a low cross and Ryan Fraser poked the baall home from 5 yards oot!

The decisive goal to give us a 2 goal margin came from a fantastic 'rocket shot' free kick from Kieran Trippier 10 minutes from time from ootside the box, which gave 'Little Arms Dinosaur' Jordan Pickford nee chance az the baall squeezed just inside the near post to send the vast majority of the 52,000 crowd into level 10 decibel noise! 



'Little Arms' the mackem 'dinosaur', it shud be said, took merciless stick from the moment he took the field to the last minute and one joker in the front of The Leazes End wore a dinosaur's costume in 'tribute to him!!!🦖 (Pickford even sarcastically waved to the crowd in The Milburn Stand az he came off the pitch at full time!!!!)

A great 3 points to lift us oot of the relegation zone and just one point behind wor opponents!!---But wait a minute!---Nohrich play tooneet and will gan above us if they win against Palliss---which in torn will send us back into the 'mire'!----SO! divvint coont yaa chickens "er!" 'dinosaurs' yet az there iz still a lang way to gan!🐣🦖🐣🦖🐣🦖🐣



*Attendance: 52,186 (3,000 Toffee Noses)

The moment Pickford spots a long lost relative in The Leazes End!



 

Monday, 7 February 2022

THE TOON v THE EVAATIN TOFFEE NOSES **** TOMORROW NEET!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 7th February 2022

A NEW FLAG DEPICTIN' WOR NEW BRAZILIAN 'BRUNO' WILL BE UNFURLED BY 'WOR FLAGS' TOMORROW IN 'THE GALLOWGATE END'!

Yet again NUFC have anothaa 6 pointer to play, this time against Evaatin and their new manager Frank Lampard!

Evaatin are 4 points above us in 16th place and a win for us would have us breathin' doon their necks in the race to avoid the dreaded drop!

2 of the othaa teams aroond us are aalso in action tomorrow neeet----

Bornley are at home to Moan U and Wotfaad are away at West 'am!

It will be a tense and nailbitin' affair for certain az wor 5 new boys will be in action----and we can anly hope that they hit the groond runnin and we can nick the 3 points!

Callum Wilson's injury looks to be worse than wot we thought and he could be oot til the last few weeks of the season!

The failure to sign anothaa striker will hopefully not come back to haunt us in May!?

The game iz a complete sell oot, az are wor games v Villa at SJP on Sunday and away games at West 'am (3,000 away tickets) and wor visit to Brentfaad (1,700 away tickets)

In othaa news wor Director of Futbaall vacancy haz been filled by highly respected Dan Ashforth, who leaves Brightin and a formal annooncement iz awaited!

A full Geordie Times match report on the game will appear here on Wedinzday sometime!  Az per usual watch this space intentleee!


Sunday, 6 February 2022

LINCOLN UNITED 3 DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS 2 *** NORTHERN PREMIER LEAGUE EAST DIVISION

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 6th February 2022



"BUXTON, BUXTON, HERE WE COME!"

With The Toon havin' anothaa free weekend because we were knocked oot of the FA Cup at the 3rd roond stage, aa decided to dee a bit of non leegue groundhoppin' and heed for Lincoln where Dunston were takin' on Lincoln United in a Northern Premyaa leegue fixture! (A new groond for me and Dunston)

Aa booked a seat on the bus which takes players, committee men and supporters to away games!----The set up iz simple---the players sit at the back of the bus, the commitee at the front and the supporters in the hay diddle diddle! 

The bus left Dunston's groond at '9:30am bells' for the 160 mile jorney to deepest Lincolnshire and wor forst port o call woz Ferrybridge sorvices on the A1M/M62 torn off.

We were on Stanley Coaches and a bus full of Sooth Sheeelds fans heedin' for Buxton, pulled alang side us---aalso with Stanley Coaches!

After a 30 minute break at the sorvices it woz time to heed back to wor bus and onward to Lincoln. Az both busses looked exactly the same, some Dunston fans, includin the club photographer who shall remain nameless caalled 'Kel', got onto the Sheeelds bus by misstayk!

After some confusion they realised it woz the wrang bus and got off!---much to the amusement of the rest of us who got on the REET bus!

THE SOOTH SHEEELDS BUS NEXT TO WORS!

Imagine the scenario if the DRIVERS had got on the wrang busses by misstayk?----The Dunston team bus ends up in Buxton and the Sheeelds supporters bus ends up in Lincoln!!!!

The mind boggles!

Anyway!---the drivers DID get on the reet busses (thankfully!) and we arrived on the far ootskirts of Lincoln at '1:30 bells'-----enough time to shovel a few pints of Caffreys doon mee neck in the clubhoose next to the groond, with mee mates and Dunston diehards, 'Davy the Silver Fox' and Barbara, hiz better half! (who had travelled there by train!)



The groond looked very canny for this level of futbaall with some cover on aall 4 sides of the groond with conifer trees on 3 sides and a block of flats and a cricket pitch behind the goal to wor right! Unfortunately the pitch wozzint in such good nick! (Understandable at this time of the year!)

On entering the groond a bought a raffle ticket from a Lincoln supporter!

The winnin prize woz a bag of vegetables, includin' carrots, turnips and a cabbage!

If aa'd won aa'd have took the carrots and turnips yem for wor lass and sent the cabbage to a certain person who haz just become manager of a West Midlands club near Bormingham! (Anly 'ONE guess' to get this one reet!)



The attendance however woz low and aa guessed that there were aboot 150 az the game kicked off, includin' aboot 25 from Dunston (thats includin the commitee)

Within 5 minutes 'The Bad Blue Boys' (who were playin in aall red!) were behind when a lang throw wasnt cleared and Biggs fired home from aboot 15 yards oot, to give Lincoln the lead!

It didnt last lang however, az Dunston hit back with a fine shot from Richie Coulson at 'The Conifer Trees End' in the 9th minute!



They were soon 2-1 up when Jack Elliott fired past their keeper to gan in aheed at the break!---A mad dash to the clubhoose for a swift 'gargel' then followed, before retornin for the 2nd half!

Lincoln equalised in the 53rd minute when a shot from Park seemed to gan through the Dunston keepers legs and into the net!!!!



A penalty woz then awarded to Dunston at 'The Block of Flats and Cricket Feeeld End', but Michael Fowler's shot woz brilliantly saved by Steggles in the home goal!

A heartbreakin' last gasp winner by Lincoln's Cotton who poked the baall into the goal, sealed the victory for the home side and 'The Bad Blue Boys' went home pointless!



Attendance:121 (So aa woz 29 oot with mee guess of 150!)

*

"WE WOZ THERE!---THE PROOF!

* PS: On the bus back we hord that Bornley had drawn nil-nil with Wotfaad----the best possible result for NUFC in the relegation battle, az both team dropped 2 points and didn't improve their goal differences!

PPS: Never hord back if aa'd won the raffle!🤔

Friday, 4 February 2022

353 perth green, jarrow (s'land u15s v nufc u15s)

 Ground number 353

Date of First Visit: 2nd February 2022

Perth Green, Jarrow

s'land U15s 4

Newcastle United U15s 1 (Mystery boy!)

Floodlit Cup Group Stage

Attendance: 99 (Glennn from Ashington coonted them-!)

Includin' 4 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers'!



"A CRUSADE TO JARROW!"

A forst for me!---the 'forst time' a'd ever watched wor Under 15s in action!   When aa hord that we had a game at Jarrow, aa thought it must be Jarrow Roofing's groond----but it woz a groond where a team caalled simply 'Jarrow FC' played and that in fact Jarrow Roofing had been wound up! (Jarrow play in the Northern Leegue Division 2)

A new groond and a forst 'crusade' to Jarrow (sic!) woz too much of a temptation to miss, so aa booked a days hol from work so aa could gan and travelled on the Metro to the weirdly named 'Brockley Whins' station, which iz a 15 minute waalk from the groond, through a hoosin estate!



This woz the 'home groond' of wor fiercest rivals The SMBs for this game!  The thing aboot the U15s iz yoo divvint get teamsheets or players names and so for the forst time ever aa didnt naa ANY of the players who pulled the black n white stripes on! (Players names for these games are not given)



3 Other 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' were in attendance, namely 'Biffa the Beer', 'Glennn from Ashington' and 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer'!

The goalposts to the left of where we were standin' looked az though they were leanin' back at an angle!--(No!---aa wasnt half p*ssed!)

The game kicked off and the mackems went straight on the attack, but couldnt find a way through wor defence az we attacked 'The Wonky Goalposts End'! (It had to be!)(see pic below!)

SPOT THE WONKY GOALPOSTS!

The breakthrough came in the 15th minute when a fine save from the Toon keeper fell to the feet of one of their forwards and he pocked the baall into the net at 'The Brockley Whins Metro Station End'!

We just couldnt get oot of the blocks and a 2nd goal for them came bang on half time to put us 2-0 behind!

It woz soon 3-0 after the restart after wor keeper had made some excellent saves, but the mackems were too strong and a 4th goal soon followed!----ne way back now!

Near the very end NUFC got a consolation goal with a fine shot from one of wor forwards who's name of course none of us knew!



A ride back on the Metro with 'Glennn from Ashington' to The Toon for a quick 2 pints in The Junction bar next to The Haymarket Metro station followed, to drown wor sorrows!



Tuesday, 1 February 2022

"HEY BIG SPENDERS!"

 Posted '1:00pm bells' Tuesday 1st February 2022



*NUFC are the biggest spenders in the world durin' the January transfor window!

It would have been ower £120 million if Hugo Ekitke hadn't torned doon a reported £33 million transfor from French club Reims! (Wot a contrast to the previous regime, who spent less in 14 January transfor windows combined!)

Let's hope (and pray!) that the 5 signings that we have got in, are enough to save wor Premyaa Leegue status!🙏



Monday, 31 January 2022

DEADLINE DAY--AT LEAST 3 MORE DEALS IN THE PIPELINE!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 31st January 2022

It will be a hectic day today on the last day of the transfor window and we hear that Villa full back Matt Targett iz at wor trainin groond for a medical, az we speak! A loan deal iz expected for the 26 year old!

A bid for 19 year old striker Hugo Ekitike haz been accepted from French club Reims for a reported £33 million!, However!---Hugo needs convincin' that this iz the reet move for him! (Latest report!)

GUESS WHICH ONE IZ DAN BURN?
While confirmation of 6 feet 7ins tall defender Dan Burn's transfor from Brightin iz awaited! A £13 million fee haz been mentioned (He iz from Blyth in Northumberland and iz a Toon fan!)

This meeenz that we will have signed at least 6 outfield players in the window, if they aall come off!  (More than half a team!) And spent ower £110 million! (More than we have spent in the last 14 January transfor windows put together, under 'The Fat Controllers' disastrous reign!)

The Geordie Times aalso understands that Jesse Lingard could aalso sign before the '11:00pm deadline! (loan or permanent?)

Plus, we (The Geordie Times) havvint ruled oot a move for Carlos from Saville in a last gasp deal!

We will dee wor best to keep yoo informed of any developments!

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

Deadline updates here:

Ekitike deal off

Targett signs

Lingard deal off

Burn signs at last minute

Carlos no go

That's 5 players in, in total, includin' Trippier, Wood and 'Bruno'!



Sunday, 30 January 2022

"BRAZILIANT!" 🤪👍🍺

 Posted '4:11pm bells' Sunday 30th January 2022

"BRUNO SIGNS FOR THE TOON!"

NO!---NOT THAT BRUNO!"


"AYE!---THAT ONE!"

Wor 4th signin' of the transfor window sees 24 year old Brazilian defensive midfeeelder Bruno Guimaraes join us from Olimpique Lionnais (subject to a medical in Brazil) for a fee of £30 million plus bonuses of £8 million if we avoid relegation!                            
The wheels are back on!!!!!

From the official NUFC website!




DAN'S THE MAN!

 Posted '12:45pm bells Sunday 30th January 2022



News that Brightin defender Dan Burn haz signed for The Toon for £13 million haz reaches The Geordie Times!

At last we have another defender to help shore up wor leaky defence!

Friday, 28 January 2022

TOON WIN IN SAUDI! *** GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE!

 Posted '5:30pm bells' Friday 27th January 2022



Unfortunatley the game woz played behind closed doors with nee telly coverage!

Saint Max scored in the 9th minute with a fine shot, but the home side equalized 25 mins later.

Ryan Fraser won it for us with an effort in the 57th minute! 


Ciaran Clark woz sent off for punchin' one of their players, who woz aalso sent off!

Wednesday, 26 January 2022

CALL MY BLUFF!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 26th January 2022

Updated Thorsday '12:30pm bells'



News that both the Diego Carlos and Jesse Lingard deals are in jeopardy haz reached The Geordie Times!  In Carlos's case Sevilla keep puttin the price up from a forst reported 25 million Euros ---to 30 million---to 35 million---and now we hear to 38 million!  NUFC say they will not be 'blackmailed' and are standin firm!

With just 5 days of the transfor window left the deal iz on a knife edge, but will Sevilla 'panic' on the last day and except the lower bids which we have offered??? (The telly quiz game, 'Call my Bluff' comes to mind!)

In Lingard's case, Moan U want a much bigger loan fee than NUFC have offered!---Again, it could aall gan doon to the last day of the window with othaa deals in the 'pipeline' az well az a 40 million Euros bid for Lyon's Bruno Guimaraes, which we hear haz been excepted!?



Like we've said previously, we wont speculate until he/they are wavin a black n white scarf above hiz/their heeds OR wearin' a Toon top in a photo shoot! (Or BOTH!)

Meeenwhile!, The Toon are currently in Saudi Arabia for warm weather trainin and a friendly against Saudi's best club Al-Itthad on Friday behind closed doors with NEE live telly coverage!

So spare a thought for the Toon fan, who I hord at the Leeedz game, had booked flights to Saudi at £570 for the game, he cant now gan tee!!!!

Updated Thorzday '12:30pm bells'





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