THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE v THE TOON *** SATURDAY DINNAATIME!

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 1st May 2015

Next up on the list iz a trip to Lestaa on Saturday it wot haz now become (yet anothaa!) not lose game az we gan into May, still not knowin' just which  division we will be in next season!
Lestaa lost on Wednesday neet to Chelski to end their '4 win streak' and now face a Toon side hopin' to avoid wor 8th loss on the bounce!

We can see 'Pieman' Carver's tactics now!----10 at the back and hope and pray for a point in a goal-less draw! <(lets hope we divvint play in that 'horrid' grey number?) <(it brings us ne luck!)

Shud we fail (and we probably will!) 'The Basil Brush Brigade' will then be just ONE point behind us with THREE games to gan!
Wor allocation of just 1,900 tickets iz selt oot ,az iz the rest of the groond and there iz sure to be a white hot atmosphere to greet us!

We are travellin' doon by train tomorrow @ 7:30 bells' via York, Sheffield and Derby and will be in 'the club' where we normally gan, with (hopefully!) plenty of time to get 'comatosed' before the match which kicks off at 12:45 for the telly!  <(Note the wrang kick off time printed on the match ticket above!) ^^^

History lesson: We forst played @ Leicester 'Fosse' <(az they were then known)  121 years ago on 20th October 1894 in the old 2nd Division, when we drew 4-4 in a thrillin' encoontaa!.
Charlie Dixon, Bill Thompson, Jock Smith and Bobby Willis got wor goals in front of an 8,000 crowd

Aall time record: Played 118, Won 51, Drawn 28, Lost 39

Geordie Times history: a 1st Division game 44 years ago when we lost 3-0 @ Filbert Street---28,792 were present to witness it!
If yoo 'fink things are bad now--then 'fink' again!---Exactly to the day of tomorrows game on 2nd May 1992, we played Lestaa to avoid relegation to the 3rd Division! ('Geordie Times' archive match report now below!)

A full 'Geordie Times' match report and pix on tomorrow's game will appear here on Sunday sometime

017 filbert street leicester (1992 visit)

(GROUND NUMBER 17 revisited) ◄(been here before---got the ‘tee shirt’!)

Dateline: 2nd MAY 1992

FILBERT STREET, LEICESTER 

 

LEICESTER CITY  1 

NEWCASTLE UNITED  2  (Gavin Peacock, Paul Walsh og)

(OLD) DIVISION TWO

ATTENDANCE 21,861  (3,000 delirious Toon fans!)

 

 

"STAYIN' UP!---STAYIN' UP!---STAYIN' UP!"

 

This is a day that ah winnit forget in a hurry!, as this is the day that the Toon very nearly got relegated tih the old Third Division for the forst time in wor 100 year history.

(But did'nt!)

If the Toon lost this one and Oxford won at Tranmere, then we would be relegated. Leicester on the other hand, were gannin for a place in the play-offs, so, as yih can imagine, the atmosphere was tense tih say the least!.

Ah was like a nervous wreck by the time the match kicked off, and the whole crowd were on tender-hooks!.

The forst half seemed tih flash by, when, deep into injury time, Gavin Peacock scored his 21st goal of the season tih put the Toon ahead, despite a linesman franticly wavin' his flag for offside!.

The Newcastle fans, who were aal standin' on their seats, went absolutely crazy!, then the ref blew for half time which did'nt pleeze the 'City' fans, who started hoyin coins at wih, as we were headin' for the 'toolshed' tih get rid of wor excess 'liquid refreshment'!

The atmosphere had torned very hostile by the time the teams re-amerged from the dressin' rooms for the start of the second half.

Ah can't remember too much aboot this half either?, (probably, coz ah was half-pissed!) but ah knew that as lang as we were winnin', then wi'd be safe.

Then disaster struck!, when Paul Walsh headed an equalizer for Leicester dead on full time!.

Aal of a sudden everythin' had changed.

If Oxford were winnin' at Tranmere, they would owertake us, and we'd gan doon instead!, but neebody seemed tih naa what their score was?.

At that moment, ah was filled with a terrible feelin' of 'dread' of not naa'in what wor fate was, and the anly thing that ah could think aboot at the time, was that if wih went doon, they'd be havin' street parties in 'Mackemland'!.

(After aal, 2,000 Toon fans had went tih Joker Park tih cheer on Gillingham, in the relegation play-offs five years earlier, when the Mackems were ingloriously relegated tih the Third Division, for the forst time in their history!)

(Ah  was'nt  there,  ah  hasten  tih  add,  as  ah  would'nt  be  'seen dead' inside the place, unless Newcastle were playin' there of course!)

The tension was unbearable as the Leicester fans celebrated their goal by invadin' the pitch, and they held up play for aboot five minutes---then!---a few minutes after the pitch was cleared by the local 'Dibble', Leicester's Paul Walsh, amazingly!, torned from 'hero tih villian' when he put through his own goal, with (what torned oot tih be) the last kick of the game!, six minutes into injury time!, tih send the 'Toon Army' into raptures!.

Ah was jumpin' up 'n' doon on mee seat like a 'mad mad possessed', not carin' if ah fell off an' injured meesel!.

The Leicester fans on the other hand, had torned really nasty by nuw, and invaded the pitch again, hoyin everythin' at us, from coins tih broken seats!.

David Elleray the ref, took the players off for their aan safety, and a few minutes later, (on police advice, nee doubt!) it was annouced ower the tannoy that the match would'nt be restarted, and had in fact, been completed!.

(Abandoned more like!?)

Keegan, 'The Messiah' had saved us!----and did wih celebrate!

WHO CARED!, how Oxford were gettin' on nuw!

WHO CARED!, that the Leicester fans were hoyin everythin', bar the kitchen sink at us?

WHO CARED!, if the Mackems would be cryin' in their f***** beer when they foond oot the score?

DEFINATELY NOT ME!, that's for certain!.

                                            

After the match, wih headed for the coaches, and yi'd iv thought wi'd won the League Championship!, and not avoided relegation!, as the Toon fans danced in the streets!.

Personally, ah felt that a 'ten ton weight' had been taken off mee shoulders!.

'King Kev' had saved us from 'a fate worse than death'!, and a 'new chapter' was aboot tih begin in Newcastle's lang and 'tangled' history!.

                                            

Quiz question:

 Newcastle are one of anly eight teams who've NEVER played below the top two divisions.

Can you name the other seven?---withoot lookin' it up!??.

We will give yoo the answers tomorrow at the bottom of this article!---Divvint 'Google' it---NE CHEATIN'!

                                            

 

 

 

 

 

316 oakwood training centre, derby

(Ground number 316)
Date of First Visit: 28th April 2015
Oakwood Training Centre, Derby

Derby County U21s 4
Newcastle United U21s 0

FA Premier U21 (Reserve) League
Attendance: 101, or waz it 102? <(we lost count!)
(inc. 4 Toon fans who travelled doon, <('US'!) plus a few exiles)

"WE'RE AZ MAD AZ THE MAD GOOSE!"

The day before this game we foond oot that Derby Coonty had 'hoyed a spanner into the works' and changed the venue of this game from Alfreton Toon's Conference ground to a 'field in Deepest Derbyshire' at the last moment!--very dissapointin' for us NOT to chalk up anothaa Conference groond (it would have been 'number 17' for me!) but at least we hadn't been to Oakwood eethaa--so it wasn't a wasted jorney! <(YET!) <(see last paragraph!)   

A 'three qwaataz full' car-load of THREE set off from the north east @ '10:00am bells' with 'Michael the Mag' drivin' and me and 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' in tow!

After negotiatin' the 4 sets of major road works to get there, we foond worsels in 'The Oak and Acorn' boozer some 3 hours later, which iz in a hoosin' estate not far from Derby's trainin' ground

After several 'light refreshments' of John Smiths bitter and 'Mad Goose Sparklin' ale'!, we devoured some pub scran az we were absolutely 'clammin', before makin' wor way to the groond, half a mile away for the '3:00 bells' start! 
'Byzy from Ashington' then torned up to make it a grand total of FOWER who had travelled doon from the north east!

It waz bright and sunny but very windy az the game kicked off with The Toon wearin' that horrible grey away kit that we aall hate!

The trainin' centre sits high above Derby and yoo can see for miles across the city with fower coolin' towers from a distant power station on the horizon behind the left hand goal!

"HOW GOODS YOUR EYESIGHT?"
 (THE COOLIN' TOWERS ARE BEHIND THE 2nd TREE FROM THE LEFT!)

With heed coach John Carver in attendance to 'eye over' Siem De Jong, Adam Armstrong and Facundo Ferreyra, we started off the brighter of the sides and Armstrong went close orly on!

It waz 'The Rams', however, who took the lead through Thomas in the 26th minute, who shot past Paul Woolston in The Toon goal---The lead waz soon doubled when Bennett fired home after 38 minutes.

The 2nd half started off just the same az we attacked 'The Cooling Towers End <(wot else!?) and a quick succession of corners followed, but we couldn't put the baall away> (De Jong waz havin' a quiet game az Carver looked on anxiously on the far touchline az he stood forlornly 'aall on hiz lonesome'!)
* It shud be noted that Derby Coonty's heed coach--'The Wally with the Brolly' was NOT in attendance!

Derby forthaa increased their lead through 'mystery man' <(couldn't see who scored for them!) and finally their number 8 Callum Guy put the final nail in wor coffin just before the end!

Correction: "Er!"-Just foond oot that their 'number 11' Ivan Calero scored the last goal!---<(I blame the 'The Mad Goose Ale'!?)

"Anothaa wasted jorney for 'the mad-sad groundhoppers'!---QUICK pass me a 'MAD GOOSE' to drown my sorrows!"  


HELP! (The curse of 'The Mad Goose' strikes again!)

DIABOLICAL DASTARDLY DEEDS FROM DERBYSHIRE!

Posted '10:52am bells' Munday 27th April 2015

Just when yoo think it cannit get any worse, then Derby Coonty 'hoy a spanner into the works' and switch their resorve game against us from Conference side Alfreton's groond to their trainin' groond at the last minute!

We were aall lookin' forward to a trip to a Conference groond we had nevaa been te before <(aall 4 of us!) and then they move it to a fenced off field in Derbyshire! <(Diabolical!)

Havin' taken a days holiday to de this groond we are still gannin (just 3 of us now, coz 'Biffa the Beer' haz been there before!).
The anly consolation IZ! we have nevaa been to Derby's trainin' groond before and can still 'chalk it off' az a new groond!

The game kicks off at it's original time of '3 bells' tomorrow afternoon at 'Oakwood Trainin' Centre', Derby!

A full 'Geordie Times' 'mad-sad groundhoppers' match report will follow---eventually!

THE TOON 2 SWANZEE 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2014-2015

Posted '11:20am bells' Sunday 26th April 2015

"7 SAD SMILEY'S IN A ROW!"

Before the game 'Pieman' Carver told us that he had prepared for the game az though it waz a World Cup final!

And az we  aall naa in wor recent history we aalways lose cup finals--- and this waz ne exception!

We actually took the lead in the 20th minute through a misstayk by a Swanzee defender, when he passed the baall straight to Perez @ The Leazes End and he had the simple task from 3 feet oot to tap it into the net!
Anothaa chance fell to Riviere, but he waz unable to convort and then 'The Swan Lakers' went for the jugular.
Two missed heeders from unmarked players were put wide but then deep into injury time in the 1st half they finally got their just rewards when Oliveira heeded home the equaliser!

Double tragedy struck at the start of the 2nd half when a Sigerdsson shot from a few yards oot beat Tim Krul in the Leazes goal!

Treble tragedy waz to follow when Cork put the visitors 3 up and the game waz beyond us!
A late consolation followed when De Jong <(remember him?) fired home @ The Gallowgate End in the 88th minute---but it waz aall in vain az we lost yet again!
Results elsewhere mean that we are nuw just FIVE points above the SMB's who nuw fill the last relegation place!

Aa sent wor lass the bad news via text message and aa aalways put a 'smiley' on it at the end--a happy one if we win---a winkin' one if we draw and a SAD smiley if we lose!---That's SEVEN sad smiley's in a row!

 

 

Toon team: Krul, Janmaat (Abeid 61), Williamson, Coloccini, Colback, Anita, Ryan Taylor, Perez, Cabella (De Jong 74), Gutierrez, Riviere (Armstrong 74)

 

Attendance: 46, 884 <(ne way---more like 40,000 again!) 1,000 Swan Lakers   * Ne sign of 'The Fat Controller' again in the directors box! <(wonder why???)

 



THE TOON (GEORDIELAND) v SWANZEE ( SOOTH WALES) *** WORLD CUP FINAL 2015! ***THIS AFTERNOOON!

Posted '11:18am bells' Saturday 25th April 2015

This afternoon we face 'The Swan Lakers' from sooth Wales in wot heed coach John 'Pieman' Carver describes in the 'Ronny-Gill' az a 'World Cup Final game'!

Quote: "We have been preparing for it like a World Cup final!---That's how important it iz!"

Carver aalso says that the planned protests ARE affectin' the players, despite sayin' exactly the opposite after the Sporz game last Sunday!?--- <("Yi want to mek yi mind up, bonny lad!")

CEDRIC THE SWAN (AND SIGNETS!)

The attendance iz highly likely to be less than against Sporz, simply because 'Cedric the Swan' and hiz 'Signets' will bring less than a third of the support that Sporz brought on Sunday, which waz 3,000 >>>

We gan into the game tryin' to avoid wor SEVENTH defeat on the bounce and Carver iz desperate not to beat Pardew from last season who aalso lost six in a row!
Wor home record under Carver's stewardship iz ONE win in FOWER months!---(The Natives are gettin' restless!)

History lesson: We forst played Swansea 'Town' <(az they were then known) in an FA Cup tie @ St James' durin' the 2nd World War on January 15th 1915 when we drew 1-1 in front of a 30,005 crowd. Bill McCracken got wor goal from the penalty spot! (We won the replay 2-0!)

Geordie Times history: 35 years ago this month, when we lost 3-1 in front of just 14,314 fans in an old Division 2 game. (Alan Shoulder got wor solitary goal through a penalty)

42 meetings: 22 wins, 7 draws and 13 defeats in total

A full 'Geordie Times' match report and pix of us liftin' the World Cup will appear here on Sunday! 

"THE WALLY WITH THE BROLLY TORNS DOON THE 'LOLLY'!"

Posted '12:57pm bells' Friday 24th April 2015

"WHY DOES IT ALWAYS RAIN ON ME!?"

At a fans 'get together' yesterday, Derby Coonty manager 'let it slip' that he had 'torned doon the NUFC job in January after Pardew had 'jumped ship' for Palace!

The former Ing-er-land manager had orlier denied he had been offered the job in December and January!

Rumour haz it that 'The Fat Controller' offered him a substantial package deal which included a 'zero hours minimum wage contract', a jar of 'Brylcreem'  >>>
and a brand new multi coloured 'golf brolly' to replace the one he lost when he famously stood on the Wembley touchline clutchin' it above hiz heed, durin' an Ing-er-land defeat against Croatia, az the rain p*ssed doon'!

"I've been ridiculed enough about the brolly!---I don't want to go through all that again, so I turned them down!", he said later!

TOXIC TIMES ON TYNESIDE!

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 22nd April 2015

SOMEWHERE OVER ST JAMES' PARK LAST SUNDAY!

Wor next game iz against Swanzee at home this comin' Saturday in wot haz become a 'must not lose' game!

Theeze are indeed desperate times and if we de lose, we will find worsels in deep deep trouble shud those below us pick up points this weekend!

'Toxic' iz the anly way to describe last Sunday's game with fans (who didn't gan)  arguin' with fans (who did) az they left the groond after anothaa disastrous defeat to Sporz!

The players looked dead on their feet on Sunday and confidence on and off the pitch in the stands iz at an aall time low!

'Pieman Carver', az ever,came oot with a defiant statement on the telly after the game that he iz: "a fighter and ne quitter!"---He sounded just like a 'past hiz best' prize fighter, who had just had aall hiz teeth knocked oot, had been given two black eyes, a broken nose and two cauliflower lugs by hiz opponent!---but who wouldn't hoy the towel in! 

RICHARD DINNIS waz just az defiant the 1970s, in the season when we were relegated---and under hiz tenure we lost TEN leegue games in a row (plus a cup tie against Millwaall!)

Do yoo see where I am comin' from!????

THE TOON 1 SPORZ 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2014-2015

Posted '11:30am bells' Munday 20th April 2015

WHERE THE HELL DO WE START????

With protests and boycotts planned it waz aalways gannin' to be a 'torturous day' @ St James' Park!

On arrival at the groond we were greeted by around aboot a thoosand protesters opposite The Gallowgate End, urgin' us not to gan in!
Az a'v aalready paid for mee season ticket and havvent missed a game for 'many many yonks', aa couldn't stop meesel from gannin through the tornstiles and up to mee seat on The Milburn Stand balcony!

Confirmation that the boycott had dissuaded around 7,000 from attendin' waz evident with quite a few empty seats dotted around the groond, az the game kicked off!

The anly noise could be hord from the 3,000 Sporz fans assembled on level 7 of The Leazes End!

Approachin the 17th minute a light plane hired by the SMBs with a banner on the back started circlin' the stadium!---- whethaa it waz just coincidence that it flew ower at this time iz sommik we don't know???

In the 30th minute a bad missteak by Gouffran let in Sporz and Chadli had the easy chance of puttin' the visitors 1-0 up!

We equalised just after the restart through Colback but it waz aall in vain az Sporz soon restored their lead from a free kick on the edge of the box which Tim Krul completely misjudged and it flew past him into the corner of the net @ The Leazes End!

We were terrible at times and then in the last throws of the game Harry Kane raced through wor defence to score Sporz 3rd goal which quickly emptied the groond az fans left in silence!

The crowd waz given az 47,000 plus but there couldn't have been more than 40,000 present includin' the 3,000 Sporz fans!

That's SIX defeats in a row and just ONE home win in FOWER months!----Roll on the end of the season----PLEEEZE!---this iz absolute TORTURE!

Toon team: Krul, Janmaat, Williamson, Colback, Coloccini, Anita (Armstrong 75), Abeid (Obertan 46), Ryan Taylor ,Gouffran (Sammy Ameobi 46), Perez Cabella

'Official'? attendance: 47,427 <(ne way!--probably 40,000?) 3,000 happy Sporz fans!)  *      

THE TOON v SPORZ *** TOODAY @ '4 BELLS'

Updated '11:05am bells' Sunday 19th April 2015

"IZ THERE ANYBODY THERE!???"

Much haz been written in the press and publicised on the telly and Twitter etc. aboot the inpendin' boycott of the Sporz game this afternoon. (live on SKY)
'The Geordie Times' 'take' on the matter---IZ!----Aa (we) WILL be gannin to the match az 'The Fat Controller' aalready haz mee  money for this season ---and indeed a'v actually had TWO direct debits taken oot of mee 'piggy bank' for NEXT SEASON aalready!

We fully back any fans decision to stand next to Leazes Park lake in the shadow of St James' <(feedin' the ducks!) , watch it in 'The Strawberry' <(feedin' your throat with drink!) or tek your lass shoppin' @ Tescos instead <(feedin' your credit card into the check-oot machine!) <(better than watchin' the dross on the pitch!), but divvint forget that if yoo are a current season ticket holder, your seat will automatically be added to the attendance whethaa yoo gan or not! (ie: he's aalready got your 'bit' so he couldn't giv a FACK!)

Wor lowest crowd this season so far iz 47,763 against Stoke and it will be interestin' to see how much lower than that the attendance will be, come this afternoon?
Sporz fans, we understand WILL NOT be joinin' in the boycott and will have 3,000 in level 7 of The Leazes End!

Results from yesterday, mean (at the time of writin') we are now just SEVEN points above 'the abyss' and NINE from the very bottom of the table!

We feel the same az everybody else aboot the current mediocrity, but az haz been proved in the past, boycotts tend not to work for us, especially az we have 40,000 plus, season ticket holders!---
That's a minimum crowd of 43,000 plus, includin' the Sporz contingent!

Protesters, we understand will start to gather outside The Gallowgate End before the game, ne doubt tryin' to persuade fellow fans to join them! 
But it's aall in vain I'm afraid az even if nebody torned up, 'The Fat Controller' still haz the TV money to fill hiz pockets! <(plus wor season ticket money of course!)

The fact that old framed team photos which adorned the various rooms inside St James' have been unceremoniously dumped in a skip last week, proves once and for aall, that they couldn't give a s*it aboot the proud history of wor (once!) great club! 


"SACRILEGE!"