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| RYAN TAYLORS WINNIN' GOAL @ THE SOS LAST SEASON! |
Tickets for wor forthcomin' game later this month against the SMBs @ the SOS are nuw SOLD OOT! (allocation 2,400)
This website iz dedecated to the Newcastle United groundhoppers who follow the fortunes of the team aroond the world (and beyond!) The ground totals include competitive and friendly forst team, resorve team, junior team and Newcastle United X1 games that 'the mad-sad groundhopper' has attended, aall for Newcastle United games only, in the last SEVEN decades*** cheers!***'Fink' (the mad-sad groundhopper!)***last count 379 (380 inc Motspur Park outside)
Friday, 5 October 2012
SMB TICKETS SOLD OOOT!*********
Updated '11:45am bells' Friday 5th October 2012
Tickets for wor forthcomin' game later this month against the SMBs @ the SOS are nuw SOLD OOT! (allocation 2,400)
Tickets for wor forthcomin' game later this month against the SMBs @ the SOS are nuw SOLD OOT! (allocation 2,400)
THE TOON 3 DE BORDEAUX 'WINOS' 0
Updated '10:35am bells' Friday 5th October 2012
This waz a 'vintage' performance from The Toon who played once more in wor 'high viz' alumanus strips @ St James' last neet to beat the men from the wine capital of France 3-0
Wor prediction of a fifty/fifty team of resorve and forst team players waz 'spot on' and this waz withoot doubt wor best performance of the season!
We opened wor accoont in the 16th minute when Gabriel Obertan sent in a pin-point cross for an unmarked Shola Ameobi, who had the simple task of sidefootin' the baall into the net @ The Leazes End!
Wor lead waz doubled soon after with a spectacular own goal from Henrique, when he sliced his attempted clearance past hiz dispairin' keeper from a Danny Simpson cross!
It waz aroond aboot this time that fightin' broke oot in the visitors enclosure in the Leazes/East Stand corner. At forst we thought that some Toon idiots had infiltrated their 'end', but it torned oot that they were fightin' amongst themsels! (too much wine---no doubt!)
It waz soon time to pop the vintage wine corks worsels, however!--- when Demba Cisse roonded the game off with the final goal of the game when he convorted off the post at The Gallowgate End from an excellent Shane Ferguson cross!
To bee honest 'The Winos' were 'p*ss poor' which we didn't expect and if we were honest a draw at best, waz predicted by 'us' before the game!
With this win we are now top of wor group table!
Group 'D'
played W D L F A Pts
THE TOON 2 1 1 0 3 0 4
Bordeaux--- 2 1 0 1 4 3 3
Brugge------ 2 1 0 1 2 4 3
Maritimo--- 2 0 1 1 0 2 1
Toon team: (as predicted!) Elliot (Harper 46) , Simpson, Perch, Williamson, Ferguson, Cabaye (Bigiramana 60), Tiote (Gosling 70), Anita, Obertan, Shola Ameobi, Cisse
Attendance:30,987---wor prediction of a crowd of between 30,000 and 32,000 beforehand waz aalso 'spot on'!
(aroond aboot 350 or so 'Winos' in the away end, who were completeleee suroonded by orange coated stewards!)
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| THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES END |
This waz a 'vintage' performance from The Toon who played once more in wor 'high viz' alumanus strips @ St James' last neet to beat the men from the wine capital of France 3-0
Wor prediction of a fifty/fifty team of resorve and forst team players waz 'spot on' and this waz withoot doubt wor best performance of the season!
We opened wor accoont in the 16th minute when Gabriel Obertan sent in a pin-point cross for an unmarked Shola Ameobi, who had the simple task of sidefootin' the baall into the net @ The Leazes End!
Wor lead waz doubled soon after with a spectacular own goal from Henrique, when he sliced his attempted clearance past hiz dispairin' keeper from a Danny Simpson cross!
It waz aroond aboot this time that fightin' broke oot in the visitors enclosure in the Leazes/East Stand corner. At forst we thought that some Toon idiots had infiltrated their 'end', but it torned oot that they were fightin' amongst themsels! (too much wine---no doubt!)
It waz soon time to pop the vintage wine corks worsels, however!--- when Demba Cisse roonded the game off with the final goal of the game when he convorted off the post at The Gallowgate End from an excellent Shane Ferguson cross!
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| ACTION @ THE GALLOWGATE END |
To bee honest 'The Winos' were 'p*ss poor' which we didn't expect and if we were honest a draw at best, waz predicted by 'us' before the game!
With this win we are now top of wor group table!
Group 'D'
played W D L F A Pts
THE TOON 2 1 1 0 3 0 4
Bordeaux--- 2 1 0 1 4 3 3
Brugge------ 2 1 0 1 2 4 3
Maritimo--- 2 0 1 1 0 2 1
Toon team: (as predicted!) Elliot (Harper 46) , Simpson, Perch, Williamson, Ferguson, Cabaye (Bigiramana 60), Tiote (Gosling 70), Anita, Obertan, Shola Ameobi, Cisse
(aroond aboot 350 or so 'Winos' in the away end, who were completeleee suroonded by orange coated stewards!)
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| "A SIGN OF THE TIMES!" |
Wednesday, 3 October 2012
THE TOON v DE BORDEAUX 'WINOS' *** TOONEET!
Updated '3:20pm bells' Thorsday 4th October 2012
@ '8:05 bells' toneet we face the team from the French vintage wine capital, namely, 'The Girondins De Bordeaux Winos' (to give them their full title!) @ St James' Park in a Europa League group stage match.
We fully expected 'a half and half team' of resorve and forst team players to take the field az we play 'The Cockney Reds of Salford' on Sunday @ '4 bells' and az we aall naa by now the Premya League takes priority ower any cup games!
It will be interestin' to see the startin' line up toneet compared with next Sunday afternoon!?
The Geordie Times predicts a crowd aroond aboot the 30,000-32,000 mark? (see how far we are oot!) and lets hope we see a 'vintage' performance from The Toon! (sic!)
Match report to follow sometime tomorrow!
Both games are on live telly with 'The Bordeaux Winos' game on ESPN and 'The Cockney Reds' game on SKY
In otha news: NUFC have annooned that anly 50 loyalty points are now needed for a SMB ticket @ the SOS later this month and we've hord that we've anly got 2,400 tickets this time! (it gans doon every year!)
Meanwhile!---yoo still need 100 loyalty points for an away ticket @ Brugge! (allocation 1,400!)
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| "A 'VINTAGE' WINE CONNOISSEUR AND BORDEAUX FAN PREDICTS THE SCORE!" ("HE DOESN'T SAY WHO TO--THOUGH?") |
@ '8:05 bells' toneet we face the team from the French vintage wine capital, namely, 'The Girondins De Bordeaux Winos' (to give them their full title!) @ St James' Park in a Europa League group stage match.
We fully expected 'a half and half team' of resorve and forst team players to take the field az we play 'The Cockney Reds of Salford' on Sunday @ '4 bells' and az we aall naa by now the Premya League takes priority ower any cup games!
It will be interestin' to see the startin' line up toneet compared with next Sunday afternoon!?
The Geordie Times predicts a crowd aroond aboot the 30,000-32,000 mark? (see how far we are oot!) and lets hope we see a 'vintage' performance from The Toon! (sic!)
Match report to follow sometime tomorrow!
Both games are on live telly with 'The Bordeaux Winos' game on ESPN and 'The Cockney Reds' game on SKY
In otha news: NUFC have annooned that anly 50 loyalty points are now needed for a SMB ticket @ the SOS later this month and we've hord that we've anly got 2,400 tickets this time! (it gans doon every year!)
Meanwhile!---yoo still need 100 loyalty points for an away ticket @ Brugge! (allocation 1,400!)
Tuesday, 2 October 2012
GROOND 291***MARITIMO UPDATE! (AT LAST!)
Posted '9:35am bells' Tuesday 2nd October 2012
With just two days to gan before wor next European encoonter against Bordeaux of France @ St James', we thought we'd wet your appitite and bring yoo (at last!) the full trip report from Maritimo some 12 days ago!
We naa this iz late, but a'v got otha things to de az well, besides sittin' behind a computa keyboard typin' cr*p! aall day, like, gannin to work every now and again!
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| THE TOON (in wor 'high viz' strips) ATTACK THE MARITIMO GOAL |
With just two days to gan before wor next European encoonter against Bordeaux of France @ St James', we thought we'd wet your appitite and bring yoo (at last!) the full trip report from Maritimo some 12 days ago!
We naa this iz late, but a'v got otha things to de az well, besides sittin' behind a computa keyboard typin' cr*p! aall day, like, gannin to work every now and again!
Sunday, 30 September 2012
THE BISCUITMEN 2 THE TOON 2
Updated '8:55am bells' Monday 1st October 2012
"THE HAND OF GOD!"
DEMBA'S 'HANDY' GOAL! (Middle of pic)***VIEW FROM ROW 2!
Wor forst 'port o caall' after arrivin' in Readin' waz 'The Bugle Boozer' not too far from the train station.
With another international break in the next two weeks the 'mad-sad groundhoppers' amongst us were toyin' with the idea of gannin to Elgin to chalk off another Scottish ootpost in their quest to visit every league groond in Britain!
Albion Rovers came into the conversation and the ears pricked on an elderly white haired gadgie who waz sittin' on the next table to us.
"A'm fray (from) Coatbridge!" he annoonced in a broad Jocko accent. (where Albion play)
And he added, "can yiu remember a player called John McNamee who played centre half for you!"
"Of course we can!", we replied, and he said that he'd went to school with him many many moons ago and was an old mate!
"He once went on a trial for Celtic!", wor friend added, "And he waz offered a lift to Parkhead from John 'Yogi Bear' Hughes (a famous Celtic player of the time) who told him to clean his muddy boots before he got into his car!"
"McNamee (who was built like a 'brick sh*thoose') didn't take kindly to this and gave 'Yogi' a 'Glasgow kiss' instead (heedbut!) and he lay polaxed on the groond as 'Mac' walked off into the centre of Coatbridge!" (pronoonced 'Coatbrig' by wor Scottish friend!)
We aall had a good laugh aboot this az we supped wor way through several pints of the local brew!
After a couple of more 'boozer stops' it waz off to the Madjeski<(Geordie Times spellin'!) by taxi which cost the princely sum of ten quid (It's at least an HOURS WAALK from Readin' toon centre to the groond which iz f*****' miles away!)
For the 2nd away Premya League game in a row we drew two's each and were very fortunate to come away with a point az Demba Ba's 2nd equaliser came off hiz hand, although we didn't realise it at the time!
'The Biscuitmen' were the better team and they took the lead orly in the 2nd period when Kebe shot past Harper in the Toon goal.
But fortune waz on wor side az just one minute later we were level when Demba Ba hit a wonder shot on the torn to send the away end into raptures!
The home side again retook the lead through Hunt and aall looked lost az 'The Biscuitmen' went for the killer goal.
It never came and with just 6 or 7 minutes left on the clock, with wot looked like a heeder from 'row 2' behind the goal, Ba again levelled things in front of the away section, with wot we now naa to be with hiz hand!
Toon team: Harper, Perch, Williamson, Steve Taylor (Tavernier 56), Santon, Ben Arfa, Tiote, Bigiramana (Ferguson 70), Gutierrez, Ba, Cisse (Shola Ameobi 69)
Attendance: 24, 097 (highest of season so far) (2,076 Toon fans)
After the match it waz back to The Bugle and then onward to King's Cross to catch wor DRY train yem. Notices were on the departure boards reiterating<(Yes!---we naa aall the 'big words'!) that the train definitely waz alcohol free!
Fortha annooncements on the train telt us that it waz an offence to drink alcohol on the train (az though we needed remindin'!?)
And wot happened!?---when we got to York, loads of kiddaz got on carryin' and drinkin' bottles and cans of beer PAST the transport police who said ASOLUTLEEE NOTHING TO THEM!???---
That's one rule for us of course!---and one rule for them!!!! (who wud be a futbaall fan???)
A definate case of double standards if ever there waz one!---divvint yoo think???
"THE HAND OF GOD!"
Wor forst 'port o caall' after arrivin' in Readin' waz 'The Bugle Boozer' not too far from the train station.
With another international break in the next two weeks the 'mad-sad groundhoppers' amongst us were toyin' with the idea of gannin to Elgin to chalk off another Scottish ootpost in their quest to visit every league groond in Britain!
Albion Rovers came into the conversation and the ears pricked on an elderly white haired gadgie who waz sittin' on the next table to us.
"A'm fray (from) Coatbridge!" he annoonced in a broad Jocko accent. (where Albion play)
And he added, "can yiu remember a player called John McNamee who played centre half for you!"
"Of course we can!", we replied, and he said that he'd went to school with him many many moons ago and was an old mate!
"He once went on a trial for Celtic!", wor friend added, "And he waz offered a lift to Parkhead from John 'Yogi Bear' Hughes (a famous Celtic player of the time) who told him to clean his muddy boots before he got into his car!"
"McNamee (who was built like a 'brick sh*thoose') didn't take kindly to this and gave 'Yogi' a 'Glasgow kiss' instead (heedbut!) and he lay polaxed on the groond as 'Mac' walked off into the centre of Coatbridge!" (pronoonced 'Coatbrig' by wor Scottish friend!)
We aall had a good laugh aboot this az we supped wor way through several pints of the local brew!
After a couple of more 'boozer stops' it waz off to the Madjeski<(Geordie Times spellin'!) by taxi which cost the princely sum of ten quid (It's at least an HOURS WAALK from Readin' toon centre to the groond which iz f*****' miles away!)
For the 2nd away Premya League game in a row we drew two's each and were very fortunate to come away with a point az Demba Ba's 2nd equaliser came off hiz hand, although we didn't realise it at the time!
'The Biscuitmen' were the better team and they took the lead orly in the 2nd period when Kebe shot past Harper in the Toon goal.
But fortune waz on wor side az just one minute later we were level when Demba Ba hit a wonder shot on the torn to send the away end into raptures!
The home side again retook the lead through Hunt and aall looked lost az 'The Biscuitmen' went for the killer goal.
It never came and with just 6 or 7 minutes left on the clock, with wot looked like a heeder from 'row 2' behind the goal, Ba again levelled things in front of the away section, with wot we now naa to be with hiz hand!
Toon team: Harper, Perch, Williamson, Steve Taylor (Tavernier 56), Santon, Ben Arfa, Tiote, Bigiramana (Ferguson 70), Gutierrez, Ba, Cisse (Shola Ameobi 69)
Attendance: 24, 097 (highest of season so far) (2,076 Toon fans)
After the match it waz back to The Bugle and then onward to King's Cross to catch wor DRY train yem. Notices were on the departure boards reiterating<(Yes!---we naa aall the 'big words'!) that the train definitely waz alcohol free!
Fortha annooncements on the train telt us that it waz an offence to drink alcohol on the train (az though we needed remindin'!?)
And wot happened!?---when we got to York, loads of kiddaz got on carryin' and drinkin' bottles and cans of beer PAST the transport police who said ASOLUTLEEE NOTHING TO THEM!???---
That's one rule for us of course!---and one rule for them!!!! (who wud be a futbaall fan???)
A definate case of double standards if ever there waz one!---divvint yoo think???
Friday, 28 September 2012
THE BISCUITMEN v THE TOON***THIS AFTERNOOON!
Updated '5:15am bells' Saturday 30th September 2012
@ '6:30 bells' this mornin' we set off for deepest Berkshire for wor game against 'The Biscuitmen' @ The Madjeski Stadium near the 'M4'---4 miles from Readin' toon centre! (ko '3 bells')
'The Madjeski'<(Geordie Times spellin'!) of course iz a newish stadium built in the middle of ne where just like SO many of the new groonds today with NE PUBS close by! (this place reeely takes 'the biscuit'!)
The Toon have selt their entire allocation of 1,700 tickets for the game and the home sections are aalso selt oot!
We've just foond oot that aall trains back to the Toon are DRY! (again!) so we'll just have to make up for it and drink King's Cross dry instead!
A message to British Transport Police:
"Why oh why don't yoo issue bannin' orders to unruly fans on trains, instead of bannin' AALL OF US from havin' a few 'liquid refreshments' on the way back from matches?---a simple solution--mee finks"!
Match report to follow sometime on Sunday!
In other news :SMB and Brugge away tickets are now on sale to season ticket holders with 100 loyalty points or more! (ie: those who have attended 100 away games or more!)
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| "THIS PLACE REEELY TAKES 'THE BISCUIT'!?" |
@ '6:30 bells' this mornin' we set off for deepest Berkshire for wor game against 'The Biscuitmen' @ The Madjeski Stadium near the 'M4'---4 miles from Readin' toon centre! (ko '3 bells')
'The Madjeski'<(Geordie Times spellin'!) of course iz a newish stadium built in the middle of ne where just like SO many of the new groonds today with NE PUBS close by! (this place reeely takes 'the biscuit'!)
The Toon have selt their entire allocation of 1,700 tickets for the game and the home sections are aalso selt oot!
We've just foond oot that aall trains back to the Toon are DRY! (again!) so we'll just have to make up for it and drink King's Cross dry instead!
A message to British Transport Police:
"Why oh why don't yoo issue bannin' orders to unruly fans on trains, instead of bannin' AALL OF US from havin' a few 'liquid refreshments' on the way back from matches?---a simple solution--mee finks"!
Match report to follow sometime on Sunday!
In other news :SMB and Brugge away tickets are now on sale to season ticket holders with 100 loyalty points or more! (ie: those who have attended 100 away games or more!)
Thursday, 27 September 2012
THE COCKNEY REDS of SALFORD (resorves) 2 THE TOON (resorves) 1
Updated '2:40pm bells' Thorsday 27th September 2012
Wor forst League Cup tie of the season torned oot to be wor last!, last neet, when we went doon 2-1 @ 'The Theatre of Muppets' in front of 30,000 empty 'theatre' seats!
Because of the closure of the 'A1' in north Yorkshire due to floodin' and more problems on the 'A19' which runs parallel soothboond, we were forced to drive to Carlisle and doon the 'M6' to get to wor destination which added aboot 50 miles onto the jorney!
We arrived @ just after '5:15 bells' and parked in wor usual place near Salford Quays and 'The Broadway' boozer which iz aboot a 20-25 minute waalk from the groond.
The bar had anly ten punters inside, which gave us an idea az to the size of the crowd, which we predicted wud be aroond the 40,000 mark because of the ridiculous £45 poond entrance fee! (for wot waz in effect a resorve game!)
After 'several liquids' it waz 'time to gan' and thankfully the heavy rain which we had encoontered on the way doon had stopped!
Once through the tornstiles we cud see that we were reet, az a low Toon torn oot waz aalso in evidence, but they were in good voice az they sang:
"FORTY FIVE QUID--YER TAKIN' THE P*SS!"
as they held their expensive 'resorve' match tickets aloft!
We held wor own durin' the forst half, but the deadlock waz broken just before the break when Anderson's shot ricocheted off Elliots reedhand goalpost and into the net @ The Scoreboard End (which waz half empty!) to give the home side the lead.
Their lead waz doubled in the 58th minute when Cleverley, 'cleaverly' curled a shot past Elliot @ 'The Stretford End' and at last we got a response from 'The Muppets' with their 'Nick nack paddy wack' song!
Cisse and Ferguson then came on to replace Vuckic and Coloccini on the hour mark and it had an instant impact az the two combined straight away to give Cisse hiz forst goal of the season.
Ferguson's cross foond Cisse's heed and the resultin' nod from 'wor number 9', gave De Gea 'ne chance in the Cockney Reds goal to send the 700 travellin' faithful wild with delight! (that's reet!--- 700!)
Cisse then hit the bar with a spectacular owerheed sizzor kick but it waz to ne avail and another 'Wembley dream' waz ower for yet another season!
It iz nuw FORTY YEARS since we last beat them at this place!
The usual p*ss takin' from us durin' the game brought little response: ('Taxi for London' etc) but the thing that got me most off aall waz the fact that aa spotted two of wor fans wearin' 'half and half' scarves (half Toon-half Cockney Red!)
One waz a decrepid aad gadgie who waz aboot the same age az me!---and the other waz a little sprog with hiz daddy<(who shud'iv knaan better!)
"WOT'S THE WORLD COMIN' TE!???"
Toon team: Elliot, Perch, Williamson, Coloccini (Ferguson 60), Tavernier, Obertan, Tiote (Bigirimana 71), Gosling, Marveaux, Vuckic (Cisse 60), Shola Ameobi
Attendance: 46,358 (that's 30,000 empty 'theatre' seats!) anly 700 Toon fans (the lowest tornoot here, that aa can ever remember!)
Even the 'empty seats' song didn't de 'the roonds' az we had thoosands of them in wor end az well!
PS: 'The Muppets' chant of the day waz!--------- "10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1" az they coonted the seconds doon on the stadium clock, til the end of the match!!!! (WOT F*****' NEXT!?)
Az the aad song gans!----"It's time to start the music!--it's time to light the lights!----it's time to get things started!----on the Muppet Show tonight!"
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| "THE THEATRE OF EMPTY SEATS!" |
Wor forst League Cup tie of the season torned oot to be wor last!, last neet, when we went doon 2-1 @ 'The Theatre of Muppets' in front of 30,000 empty 'theatre' seats!
Because of the closure of the 'A1' in north Yorkshire due to floodin' and more problems on the 'A19' which runs parallel soothboond, we were forced to drive to Carlisle and doon the 'M6' to get to wor destination which added aboot 50 miles onto the jorney!
We arrived @ just after '5:15 bells' and parked in wor usual place near Salford Quays and 'The Broadway' boozer which iz aboot a 20-25 minute waalk from the groond.
The bar had anly ten punters inside, which gave us an idea az to the size of the crowd, which we predicted wud be aroond the 40,000 mark because of the ridiculous £45 poond entrance fee! (for wot waz in effect a resorve game!)
After 'several liquids' it waz 'time to gan' and thankfully the heavy rain which we had encoontered on the way doon had stopped!
Once through the tornstiles we cud see that we were reet, az a low Toon torn oot waz aalso in evidence, but they were in good voice az they sang:
"FORTY FIVE QUID--YER TAKIN' THE P*SS!"
as they held their expensive 'resorve' match tickets aloft!
We held wor own durin' the forst half, but the deadlock waz broken just before the break when Anderson's shot ricocheted off Elliots reedhand goalpost and into the net @ The Scoreboard End (which waz half empty!) to give the home side the lead.
Their lead waz doubled in the 58th minute when Cleverley, 'cleaverly' curled a shot past Elliot @ 'The Stretford End' and at last we got a response from 'The Muppets' with their 'Nick nack paddy wack' song!
Cisse and Ferguson then came on to replace Vuckic and Coloccini on the hour mark and it had an instant impact az the two combined straight away to give Cisse hiz forst goal of the season.
Ferguson's cross foond Cisse's heed and the resultin' nod from 'wor number 9', gave De Gea 'ne chance in the Cockney Reds goal to send the 700 travellin' faithful wild with delight! (that's reet!--- 700!)
Cisse then hit the bar with a spectacular owerheed sizzor kick but it waz to ne avail and another 'Wembley dream' waz ower for yet another season!
It iz nuw FORTY YEARS since we last beat them at this place!
The usual p*ss takin' from us durin' the game brought little response: ('Taxi for London' etc) but the thing that got me most off aall waz the fact that aa spotted two of wor fans wearin' 'half and half' scarves (half Toon-half Cockney Red!)
One waz a decrepid aad gadgie who waz aboot the same age az me!---and the other waz a little sprog with hiz daddy<(who shud'iv knaan better!)
"WOT'S THE WORLD COMIN' TE!???"
Toon team: Elliot, Perch, Williamson, Coloccini (Ferguson 60), Tavernier, Obertan, Tiote (Bigirimana 71), Gosling, Marveaux, Vuckic (Cisse 60), Shola Ameobi
Attendance: 46,358 (that's 30,000 empty 'theatre' seats!) anly 700 Toon fans (the lowest tornoot here, that aa can ever remember!)
Even the 'empty seats' song didn't de 'the roonds' az we had thoosands of them in wor end az well!
PS: 'The Muppets' chant of the day waz!--------- "10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1" az they coonted the seconds doon on the stadium clock, til the end of the match!!!! (WOT F*****' NEXT!?)
Az the aad song gans!----"It's time to start the music!--it's time to light the lights!----it's time to get things started!----on the Muppet Show tonight!"
Tuesday, 25 September 2012
THE COCKNEY REDS of SALFORD (Resorves) v THE TOON (Resorves)***TOONEET!
Updated '8:50am bells' Wednesday 26th September 2012
Wor forst League Cup tie of the season takes place tooneet @ 'The Theatre of Muppets' in Salford and both teams are expected to field a mainly resorve side for this fixture which iz live on SKY @'7:45 bells'.
At a ridiculous £45 quid (plus £1 bookin' fee!) to get in, it's way! way! ower the top and a'v hord through the grapevine that (suprize!-suprize!) we havvent selt many of the allocated 8,000 tickets! (Chelski for example, anly charged us £20 for wor League Cup tie at their place when we won 4-3, two years ago!)
Rumour haz it that NUFC agreed these prices with the home club and if this iz true they have proved once and for aall that they couldn't care less aboot the fans!
The prices are TWICE az high az any otha club iz chargin' in the competition! (Their arch rivals 'The Blue Moonies' charged £22.50 last neet!)
'The Cockney Reds' have aalso voted with their feet az home sections of 'The Theatre of Muppets' will aalso be closed!
So it's anybodys guess az to just wot the crowd will be???
"FORTY FIVE QUID FOR A RESORVE GAME?---YOR HAVIN' A LAUGH!"
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| "WELCOME TO 'THE STRETFORD END'!" |
Wor forst League Cup tie of the season takes place tooneet @ 'The Theatre of Muppets' in Salford and both teams are expected to field a mainly resorve side for this fixture which iz live on SKY @'7:45 bells'.
At a ridiculous £45 quid (plus £1 bookin' fee!) to get in, it's way! way! ower the top and a'v hord through the grapevine that (suprize!-suprize!) we havvent selt many of the allocated 8,000 tickets! (Chelski for example, anly charged us £20 for wor League Cup tie at their place when we won 4-3, two years ago!)
Rumour haz it that NUFC agreed these prices with the home club and if this iz true they have proved once and for aall that they couldn't care less aboot the fans!
The prices are TWICE az high az any otha club iz chargin' in the competition! (Their arch rivals 'The Blue Moonies' charged £22.50 last neet!)
'The Cockney Reds' have aalso voted with their feet az home sections of 'The Theatre of Muppets' will aalso be closed!
So it's anybodys guess az to just wot the crowd will be???
"FORTY FIVE QUID FOR A RESORVE GAME?---YOR HAVIN' A LAUGH!"
NUFC PREMIER LEAGUE, EUROPEAN & CUP FIXTURES***2012-2013
Updated '10:00am bells' Tuesday 25th September 2012
TICKET NEWS
Biscuit Men tickets are SELT OOT!
Wor League Cup game against The Cockney Reds, tomorrow, Wed September 26th @ 7:45 bells---live on SKY--and tickets are priced at a ridiculous £45! which in effect will be a resorve line up from both teams
Below are 'The Toons' Premya Leegue fixtures for the comin' season.
(can aalso be viewed at the top of the page)
Aall games az per usual are subject to change for live telly and European commitments and aall the teams are in 'cryptic code' to avoid any copyright infringements. (ie: we divvint want to get sued off 'The FA'---like!)
'The Geordie Times' haz done a seperate page to give yoo some clues to the identity of the teams, IF!, those of yoo with 'half a sheeps brain' cannit work it oot!
(Gan to the top of the page and click onto
'A' to 'Z' of CLUB NICKNAMES)
Premya Leegue dates/times changed so far:TWELVE! (oot of 38)
AUGUST 2012
SAT 18th---Sporz---H---5:30 bells (ESPN) (time change)
Won 2-1 (Ba, Ben Arfa (pen)
Attendance: 52,385 (2,800 Spors fans)
THU 23rd---Atromitos of Greece---A---8:00 bells (local)
Europa League 4th Rd Qualifyin 1st leg
Drew 1-1 (Ryan Taylor---ower the waall!)
Attendance: 4,872 or! 5,002? (90 Toon diehards!)
(SKY TV channel 428)
SAT 25th---Kings Road OAPs---A---5:30 bells (ESPN) (time change)
Lost 2-0
Attendance: 41,718 (1,500 Toon fans)
THU 30th---Atromitos of Greece---H---7:45 bells
Europa League 4th Rd Qualifyin 2nd leg
ITV4)
Won 1-0 (Haris Vuckic)
Attendance: 29,242 (40 Atromitos fans)
SEPTEMBER
SUN 2nd---The Hazbeens and Villians---H---4 bells (date and time change)
Drew 1-1 (Ben Arfa)
Attendance: 48,245 (1,000 Villians of the peace!)
MON 17th---The Toffee Noses---A---8:00 bells (SKY) (date and time change)
Drew 2-2 (Ba 2)
Attendance: 32,510 (less than 2,000 Toon fans)
Thu 20th---Maritimo of Portugal---A---7:00 bells (CET) (ESPN)
Europa League group stage
Drew 0-0
Attendance: 4,000 est (150 Toon fans inc holiday makers!)
SUN 23rd---The Canary Custard Crumbles---H---3 bells (date change)
Won 1-0 (Ba)
Attendance: 49,402 (1,500 Custards)
NEXT UP!
WED 26th---The Cockney Reds of Salford---A---7:45 bells
League Cup
(SKY)
SAT 29th---The Biscuit Men---A---3 bells
OCTOBER
Thu 4th---Bordeaux of France---H---8:05 bells
Europa League group stage
SUN 7th---The Cockney Reds of Salford---H---4 bells (SKY) (date and time change)
SUN 21---Moanin Martins SMBs---A---1:30 bells (SKY) (date and time change) (bet yi it's changed again to Sunday @ high noon bells!)
Thu 25th---Brugge of Belgium---H---8:05 bells
Europa League group stage
SUN 28th---The Baggie Troosers---H---3 bells (date change)
NOVEMBER
SAT 3rd---The Liverbirds---A---3 bells
Thu 8th---Brugge of Belgium---A---7:00 bells (CET)
Europa League group stage
SUN 11th---The Jellied Eels Mob---H---3 bells (date change)
SAT 17th---The Swan Lakers---H---3 bells
Thu 22nd---Maritimo of Portugal---H---8:05 bells
Europa League group stage
SUN 25th---Sooothampton---A---3 bells (date change)
WED 28th---The Pullis P*ss Potts---A---7:45 bells (date change)
DECEMBER
SAT 1st---The Blue Wigs---H---3 bells
Thu 6th---Bordeaux of France---A---7:00 bells (CET)
SAT 8th---The Wacko Jacko Jivers---A---3 bells
SAT 15th---The Blue Moonies---H---3 bells
SAT 22nd---The Shepherds Bush Rag & Bone Men---A---3 bells
WED 26th---The Cockney Reds of Salford---A---3 bells
SUN 29th---The Arse---A---3 bells
JANUARY 2013
TUE 1st---The Toffee Noses---H---3 bells
SAT 12th---The Canary Custard Crumbles---A---3 bells
SAT 19th---The Biscuit Men---H---3 bells
TUE 29th---The Hazbeens and Villians---A---7:45 bells?
FEBRUARY
SAT 2nd---The Kings Road OAPs---H---3 bells
SAT 9th---Sporz---A---3 bells
SAT 23rd---Sooothampton---H---3 bells
MARCH
SAT 2nd---The Swan Lakers---A---3 bells
SAT 9th---The Pullis P*ss Potts---H---3 bells
SAT 16th---The Blue Wigs---A---3 bells
SAT 30th---The Blue Moonies---A---3 bells
APRIL
SAT 6th---The Wacko Jacko Jivers---H---3 bells
SAT 13th---Moanin Martins SMBs---H---1:30pm bells (wot!---not! high noon bells?) (time change)
SAT 20th---The Baggie Troosers---A---3 bells
SAT 27th---The Liverbirds---H---3 bells
MAY
SAT 4th---The Jellied Eels Mob---A---3 bells
SUN 12th---The Shepherds Bush Rag & Bone Men---A---3 bells?
SUN 19th---The Arse---H---3 bells?
Copyright warnin'!
The above fixtures are unda strict copyright to 'The Geordie Times' and may NOT be reproduced unda any corcumstances and offenders will be SEVERELEEE dealt with!
ie: Yoo will be arrested by men in white coats and placed into a straight jacket (kickin' and screamin' if necessary!) and frogmarched to 'The Stadium of SSshhh! 'yee naa wot' and forced (at gunpoint!) to porchase a SMB season ticket for next season.
Yoo will then be suspended (upside doon!) from one of the roof beams until the season starts!
We realise that this punishment iz severe, and iz a fate worse than death!---but copyright MUST be protected!!!
---"er!"--- unless yi buy us a 'crate of dog'--like!
 |
| THE LEAZES END OF ST JAMES' PARK<(and aalways will be!) FROM THE LEAZES PARK BANDSTAND |
TICKET NEWS
Biscuit Men tickets are SELT OOT!
Wor League Cup game against The Cockney Reds, tomorrow, Wed September 26th @ 7:45 bells---live on SKY--and tickets are priced at a ridiculous £45! which in effect will be a resorve line up from both teams
Below are 'The Toons' Premya Leegue fixtures for the comin' season.
(can aalso be viewed at the top of the page)
Aall games az per usual are subject to change for live telly and European commitments and aall the teams are in 'cryptic code' to avoid any copyright infringements. (ie: we divvint want to get sued off 'The FA'---like!)
'The Geordie Times' haz done a seperate page to give yoo some clues to the identity of the teams, IF!, those of yoo with 'half a sheeps brain' cannit work it oot!
(Gan to the top of the page and click onto
'A' to 'Z' of CLUB NICKNAMES)
Premya Leegue dates/times changed so far:TWELVE! (oot of 38)
AUGUST 2012
SAT 18th---Sporz---H---5:30 bells (ESPN) (time change)
Won 2-1 (Ba, Ben Arfa (pen)
Attendance: 52,385 (2,800 Spors fans)
THU 23rd---Atromitos of Greece---A---8:00 bells (local)
Europa League 4th Rd Qualifyin 1st leg
Drew 1-1 (Ryan Taylor---ower the waall!)
Attendance: 4,872 or! 5,002? (90 Toon diehards!)
(SKY TV channel 428)
SAT 25th---Kings Road OAPs---A---5:30 bells (ESPN) (time change)
Lost 2-0
Attendance: 41,718 (1,500 Toon fans)
THU 30th---Atromitos of Greece---H---7:45 bells
Europa League 4th Rd Qualifyin 2nd leg
ITV4)
Won 1-0 (Haris Vuckic)
Attendance: 29,242 (40 Atromitos fans)
SEPTEMBER
SUN 2nd---The Hazbeens and Villians---H---4 bells (date and time change)
Drew 1-1 (Ben Arfa)
Attendance: 48,245 (1,000 Villians of the peace!)
MON 17th---The Toffee Noses---A---8:00 bells (SKY) (date and time change)
Drew 2-2 (Ba 2)
Attendance: 32,510 (less than 2,000 Toon fans)
Thu 20th---Maritimo of Portugal---A---7:00 bells (CET) (ESPN)
Europa League group stage
Drew 0-0
Attendance: 4,000 est (150 Toon fans inc holiday makers!)
SUN 23rd---The Canary Custard Crumbles---H---3 bells (date change)
Won 1-0 (Ba)
Attendance: 49,402 (1,500 Custards)
NEXT UP!
WED 26th---The Cockney Reds of Salford---A---7:45 bells
League Cup
(SKY)
SAT 29th---The Biscuit Men---A---3 bells
OCTOBER
Thu 4th---Bordeaux of France---H---8:05 bells
Europa League group stage
SUN 7th---The Cockney Reds of Salford---H---4 bells (SKY) (date and time change)
SUN 21---Moanin Martins SMBs---A---1:30 bells (SKY) (date and time change) (bet yi it's changed again to Sunday @ high noon bells!)
Thu 25th---Brugge of Belgium---H---8:05 bells
Europa League group stage
SUN 28th---The Baggie Troosers---H---3 bells (date change)
NOVEMBER
SAT 3rd---The Liverbirds---A---3 bells
Thu 8th---Brugge of Belgium---A---7:00 bells (CET)
Europa League group stage
SUN 11th---The Jellied Eels Mob---H---3 bells (date change)
SAT 17th---The Swan Lakers---H---3 bells
Thu 22nd---Maritimo of Portugal---H---8:05 bells
Europa League group stage
SUN 25th---Sooothampton---A---3 bells (date change)
WED 28th---The Pullis P*ss Potts---A---7:45 bells (date change)
DECEMBER
SAT 1st---The Blue Wigs---H---3 bells
Thu 6th---Bordeaux of France---A---7:00 bells (CET)
SAT 8th---The Wacko Jacko Jivers---A---3 bells
SAT 15th---The Blue Moonies---H---3 bells
SAT 22nd---The Shepherds Bush Rag & Bone Men---A---3 bells
WED 26th---The Cockney Reds of Salford---A---3 bells
SUN 29th---The Arse---A---3 bells
JANUARY 2013
TUE 1st---The Toffee Noses---H---3 bells
SAT 12th---The Canary Custard Crumbles---A---3 bells
SAT 19th---The Biscuit Men---H---3 bells
TUE 29th---The Hazbeens and Villians---A---7:45 bells?
FEBRUARY
SAT 2nd---The Kings Road OAPs---H---3 bells
SAT 9th---Sporz---A---3 bells
SAT 23rd---Sooothampton---H---3 bells
MARCH
SAT 2nd---The Swan Lakers---A---3 bells
SAT 9th---The Pullis P*ss Potts---H---3 bells
SAT 16th---The Blue Wigs---A---3 bells
SAT 30th---The Blue Moonies---A---3 bells
APRIL
SAT 6th---The Wacko Jacko Jivers---H---3 bells
SAT 13th---Moanin Martins SMBs---H---1:30pm bells (wot!---not! high noon bells?) (time change)
SAT 20th---The Baggie Troosers---A---3 bells
SAT 27th---The Liverbirds---H---3 bells
MAY
SAT 4th---The Jellied Eels Mob---A---3 bells
SUN 12th---The Shepherds Bush Rag & Bone Men---A---3 bells?
SUN 19th---The Arse---H---3 bells?
Copyright warnin'!
The above fixtures are unda strict copyright to 'The Geordie Times' and may NOT be reproduced unda any corcumstances and offenders will be SEVERELEEE dealt with!
ie: Yoo will be arrested by men in white coats and placed into a straight jacket (kickin' and screamin' if necessary!) and frogmarched to 'The Stadium of SSshhh! 'yee naa wot' and forced (at gunpoint!) to porchase a SMB season ticket for next season.
Yoo will then be suspended (upside doon!) from one of the roof beams until the season starts!
We realise that this punishment iz severe, and iz a fate worse than death!---but copyright MUST be protected!!!
---"er!"--- unless yi buy us a 'crate of dog'--like!
Monday, 24 September 2012
THE TOON 1 v THE CANARY CUSTARD CRUMBLES 0
Posted '10:15am bells' Monday 24th September 2012
This waz wor thord forst team game in the last six days and aa wearily dragged meesel oot of mee pit at 'high noon bells' after havin' had just two and a half hours kip, az aa didn't get to sleep til '9:30am bells after deein a neetshift truck run to Glasgow!
Anyway!---it waz then a mad dash off to 'The Bacchus' where Grumpy Stumpy, Norman the Cowboy Plumber, Tex Taylor and Fawlty Towers were havin' a few liquid refreshments before the game!
A few more 'refreshments' in The Monkey Bar and The Adelphi were consumed where we met Scott of the Antarctic (the one from Windy Nook NOT! the Sooth Pole!) before it waz time to heed for the two hundred stairs up to mee seat in The Milburn Stand!
We started off slowly and yoo cud tell after just a few minutes that it wud be another bore--just like in Madeira on Thorsday neet.
We took the lead however, at aroond aboot the halfway point of the forst half when Ben Arfa played a brill through baall to Demba Ba and wor number 19 made ne mistake az he poked the baall home from the edge of the box and past the advancin' Ruddy in the Canary Custards's goal!
We had a chance to double wor lead in forst half injury time when Mike Williamson waz pushed in the back in the 18 yard area and the ref pointed straight to the penalty spot!
After a 'fight' between Ben Arfa, Ba and Cisse az to just who wud take it, Cisse grabbed the baall and placed it carefully on the spot and duly blasted it ower the bar, high into The Gallowgate End!!!
This nearly cost us dear az in the 2nd period az The Yellow Custards had several efforts on The Toon goal but (thankfully!) couldn't find the net!
But we did have fortha chances az well to increase wor lead!
There were aalso some strange substitutions to say the least when both Ben Arfa and Anita were taken off, az they were two of the best players left on the field?
Ba's goal torned oot to be the anly goal of the game, and like aa say, the away side were unlucky on several occasions not to level things and we were fortunate indeed to take the three points!
But we'll take them anyway!--thank yoo very much Chris! (Hughton!)
Toon team: Harper, Perch, Williamson, Steven Taylor, Santon, Ben Arfa (Shola Ameobi 85), Anita (Tiote 76), Cabaye, Gutierrez, Cisse (Obertan 70), Ba
Attendance: 49,402 (1,500 or so Canary Custards!)
* For an explanation of 'The Geordie Times' nickname for wor visitors---see 'club nicknames A-Z ' at the top of the page
 |
| THE TOON PLAYERS CONGRATULATE DEMBA BA AFTER HIZ WINNIN' GOAL! |
This waz wor thord forst team game in the last six days and aa wearily dragged meesel oot of mee pit at 'high noon bells' after havin' had just two and a half hours kip, az aa didn't get to sleep til '9:30am bells after deein a neetshift truck run to Glasgow!
Anyway!---it waz then a mad dash off to 'The Bacchus' where Grumpy Stumpy, Norman the Cowboy Plumber, Tex Taylor and Fawlty Towers were havin' a few liquid refreshments before the game!
A few more 'refreshments' in The Monkey Bar and The Adelphi were consumed where we met Scott of the Antarctic (the one from Windy Nook NOT! the Sooth Pole!) before it waz time to heed for the two hundred stairs up to mee seat in The Milburn Stand!
We started off slowly and yoo cud tell after just a few minutes that it wud be another bore--just like in Madeira on Thorsday neet.
We took the lead however, at aroond aboot the halfway point of the forst half when Ben Arfa played a brill through baall to Demba Ba and wor number 19 made ne mistake az he poked the baall home from the edge of the box and past the advancin' Ruddy in the Canary Custards's goal!
We had a chance to double wor lead in forst half injury time when Mike Williamson waz pushed in the back in the 18 yard area and the ref pointed straight to the penalty spot!
After a 'fight' between Ben Arfa, Ba and Cisse az to just who wud take it, Cisse grabbed the baall and placed it carefully on the spot and duly blasted it ower the bar, high into The Gallowgate End!!!
This nearly cost us dear az in the 2nd period az The Yellow Custards had several efforts on The Toon goal but (thankfully!) couldn't find the net!
But we did have fortha chances az well to increase wor lead!
There were aalso some strange substitutions to say the least when both Ben Arfa and Anita were taken off, az they were two of the best players left on the field?
Ba's goal torned oot to be the anly goal of the game, and like aa say, the away side were unlucky on several occasions not to level things and we were fortunate indeed to take the three points!
But we'll take them anyway!--thank yoo very much Chris! (Hughton!)
Toon team: Harper, Perch, Williamson, Steven Taylor, Santon, Ben Arfa (Shola Ameobi 85), Anita (Tiote 76), Cabaye, Gutierrez, Cisse (Obertan 70), Ba
Attendance: 49,402 (1,500 or so Canary Custards!)
* For an explanation of 'The Geordie Times' nickname for wor visitors---see 'club nicknames A-Z ' at the top of the page
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