Sunday, 3 February 2019

SPORZ 1 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted '11:25am bells' Sunday 3rd February 2019
"TOP DECK, TOP DECK, GIVE US A SONG!"
VIEW FROM ROW 33, SEAT 60 OF THE AWAY END

"IT'S JUST LIKE BEIN' ON A ROLLER COASTER!"

The day started at the ungodly hour of '3:45am bells' when aa dragged mee lifeless body oot of mee 'scratcher' (bed!), got a wash n brush up, before heedin for 'The Central' (station) in a taxi!

One kid on the train had obviously been drinkin aall neet in The Toon in some night club and woz completly 'cattle trucked' (F**ked!) with the drink! 
The ticket inspector couldnt wake him up until we were near Doncaster!
He couldnt remember where he woz supposed to get off, except that the station began with the letter 'D'

This left 3 options!  Durham, Darlington or Doncaster!
He then remembered that it woz Durham (a station we had passed half an hour beforehand!) and he woz hoyed off the train at Doncaster (well, at least he got the 1st letter right!), where he dropped hiz phone and a bottle of waataa on the platform, before collapsin in a heap on a seat in the station! "ZZZzzz!!!"

It woz then onward to KX (King's Cross', London) and then onward to Marylebone near central London for the customary pre match gargels!
After several 'liquid lubrications' it woz time to heed for Wembley for the '12:30 bells' kick off for live telly!

Once inside we could see that the top deck woz completely empty to wor left and beyond the far goal, with just a smatterin' of Sporz fans to wor right in that section!  A sub 50,000 crowd for certain, which included 3,200 Toon fans in the visitors end!

From the start we had to endure an onslaught from Sporz az they attacked the far end from us!
NUFC somehow managed to hold oot til half time, with the 'home' side aalso hittin' the post! (We played in wor blue n maroon hooped kit)
We, on the othaa hand hardly ventured into their half az we attacked the goal nearest to us, with just a couple of chances 'gannin abeggin'!
A RARE TOON CORNER, TAKEN BY MATT RITCHIE

The 2nd half started off a bit better, and Rondon heeded against the post in the 52nd minute, but the baall boonced oot and the chance woz gone!

The onslaught from Sporz continued az the huge clock at the far end ticked doon and we managed to survive-----until the 82nd minute!, when a shot by Son seemed to gan through Dubravka in The Toon goal to put 'The Sporz' 1-0 up!

We didn't have the fire power to hit back and the game woz lost!
*The 'highlights' of the game, wernt from wor players, but from the large pieces of ice faallin from the roof of the stadium onto the pitch, az the thaw set in, missin' the players below by inches in some cases!
NARROW ESCAPE!  A LARGE LUMP OF ICE JUST MISSES 
TOON GOALIE MARTIN DUBRAVKA'S HEED IN THE WARM UP!

We then heeded back to Marylebone to drown wor sorrows before catchin' the '5:30 bells' train back to Tyneside!
The news wasn't good from sooth Wales however az Cardiff won 2-0 to send us back to within 2 points of the relegation places!

After wor woeful performance against Wotfaad in the FA Cup a week before and wor totally unexpected 'high' with the brilliant win against Man City in midweek, this woz anothaa 'downer' in the 'roller coaster ride' which we aalways seem to be on!

That's EIGHT times in a row that we have been to Wembley in competitive games and LOST! (a record!)---and 'yours truly' haz seen EVERY ONE!---("HELP!") 

The jorney back woz noisy to say the least, with some very drunken Toon fans of 'the brain dead variety', singin' out of tune cr*p songs for the whole 3 hour jorney, which just added to wor misery! (Wet, Wet, Wet and Pet Shop Boys songs and othaa garbage!)

It made me wonder, just how they managed to find their way to Wembley from KX, usin the complicated tube/train system?
LONDON TUBE MAP

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Schar, Lascelles, Ritchie (Barecca 86--1 of wor new signins), Perez, Longstaff, Hayden, Atsu (Kenedy 82), Rondon

Attendance: just 41,219, includin' wor 'beloved owner'? 'The Fat Controller' (who got stick!) and MD 'Penfold' in the posh seats! (3,200 Toon fans in the 'bog seats'!)

*Pub crawl pix from St. Pancras & Marylebone, near central London
ST. PANCRAS

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