Updated Munday '12:56pm bells'
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| THE TOON ARE IN THE LIGHT BLUE STRIP |
"LOGISTICAL NIGHTMARE!"
(6 trains, 4 tubes and 2 taxis!)
This woz the jorney from hell if ever there woz one in this 700 miles roond trip to the south coast!
Forst of aall, aa dragged mee lifeless body oot of bed at '4am bells' and jumped into a taxi from wor hoose, to catch the '5:26 bells' train from 'The Central' to King's Cross in London
Because of a train strike on the line between Waterloo in London and Sooothampton we decided cross London by 2 tube trains to catch a train from Paddington to Reading and then onward to wor final destination!
"WET! WET! WET!"
On wor jorney from Paddington to Reading, a lass waalked doon the train with a very hot cup of waataa---and az she waalked past one of the lads, who shall remain nameless, called 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer', she spilt it aall ower hiz legs and 'private parts'!
He jumped up in agony shoutin' "F***** HELL!"--F***** HELL!" several times in shock, az she apologised and apologised, az we rolled aboot with laughter, az he looked like he'd p*ssed himself! 😅
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| "TAKIN' THE P*SS!---GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUUSIVE! |
The lass had wanted the hot waata to put on some porridge she'd bought and improvised by pourin a cup of coffee into the bowl to mix the porridge!!!! (Yi couldn't make it up!)
We were lucky (apart from Blondie!) and everything else went to plan az we arrived at Sooothampton Central some six hours after leavin' the Toon and heeded for the nearest waaterin hole (The Giddy Bridge) for some much needed 'liquid lubrications'!
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| THE GIDDY BRIDGE |
Others wornt so lucky, az they tried to get there via Waterloo station and got stuck half way az the train woz overloaded to burstin point!
(They eventually arrived 1 hour after us!)
2 more waaterin holes later and it woz time too heed for 'wor punishment' at St Mary's Stadium!---and 'punishment' it woz az we failed to have even one shot on target in the entire game!
Soloman Rondon finally made an appearance after a lang injury, half way through the 2nd half, but even he couldn't hit the target in one of the most borin' games yoo could wish to watch, which not suprizingleee ended in a goalless draw (Sooothampton were shockin' az well!)
The one point gained actually lifted us off the bottom of the table and anly two points from safety, az aall the teams around us lost---some of them heavily!
By wor recognin' 5 teams are in 'the mix' for relegation----'uddersfield, Cardiff, Fulim, Sooothampton and 'US'!
We reversed the train, tube, train and taxi jorneys on the way back, eventually arrivin' yem at '12:30am bells'!
Footnote: Simon Templar woz a character in a cult 1960s TV programme caalled 'The Saint'!, which of course iz Sooothampton's nickname---hence 'The Simon Templar Mob'----get it?
Team line ups and more pix to follow later, when aa get time---like! (Oot on 'the hoy' very soon!)
MUCH LATER!
Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Lascelles, Fernandez, Dummett, Richie, Shelvey, Diame (Ki76), Kenedy, Perez (Rondon 69), Muto (Atsu 80)
Attendance:30,736 (2,450 OR 2,500 very bored Toon fans!---not sure?)
*More pub crawl pix
Sooothampton
Sooothampton
London after game
London after game
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