Saturday, 14 June 2014

GEORDIE TIMES AWAY PUB(S) OF THE YEAR 2013-2014 WINNERS!

Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 14th Joon 2014

'THE GEORDIE TIMES' REEEL ALE PUB OF THE YEAR *** BUT WHERE IZ IT?



Here's the moment yiv aall been waitin' for!---'The Geordie Times' away 'reeel ale Pub' and 'best dive bar' awards for season 2013-2014!

The reeel ale pub of the year izzzzzz! (in revorse order!)

In thord place!

THE LOCOMOTIVE (Stoke)
A canny bar that we foond by chance aboot a 20 minute waalk from the groond. Propaa glasses and good beer at reasonable prices and the natives were friendly az well! <(not like normal Stoke fans!)
'THE LOCO' TROPHY ROOM!

In second place!

THE MALT SHOVEL (Hull)
A great little boozer on the main road to the groond, again aboot a 20 minute waalk to the groond. The bar iz stuffed with live tigers shud anyone start workin' their ticket!---Again the locals were friendly and the manager and hiz wife welcomed us to try their selection of reeel ales!



"AND THE WINNER IZZZZ!"---

THE WELLINGTON! (Villa & West Brom)
This bar iz tucked up a hill within a 5 minute waalk of Birmingham New Street rail station.
They have so many reeel ales on offer that they number them on a chalk board and yoo simply ask for a '69' or whatever! <(No! NOT that kind of '69'!)




An old style bar that seems to be gannin oot of existence these days, 'The Welly' iz immaculately clean and the beer iz 'immaculately caad'!


"AND IN COMPLETE CONTRAST!"

The 'Dive Bar' of the year award!

There waz ne competition in this category az the bar in question 'waz in a leegue of it's own'!

"AND THE WINNER IZZZZZ!"

THE CLOCK! (Everton & Liverpool)

The sheer depravity of this place takes some believin' az the 'aroma' of sweaty armpits and the 'spewy smells' from the 'designer' carpet squares on the floor 'hit yoo'! <(somebody must have 'hoyed up' the neet before!)
ON CLOSER INSPECTION THE CARPET SQUARES ARE STAPLED
(AND STUCK!) TO THE FLOOR TO STOP ANYBODY NICKIN' THEM!

Situated on a main road equidistant from both Goodison and Anfield (15 minutes) this 'dive' takes some beatin' and it iz highly recommended that yoo wear a 'stab-proof vest' if yoo change anythin' ower a fiver at the coontaa!

ENTRANCE TO THE 'SELECT' LOUNGE AREA OF THE BAR!
The locals are friendly enough <(IF yoo divvint look at them the 'wrang way'!) and yoo would have thought we had horns stickin' oot of wor heeds when we entered the bar az it fell deftly silent!

Friendly signs for customers tell yoo that 'Tommy Smith' is barred' <(we assume it's NOT hardman Tommy Smith who used to play for 'The Liverbirds'?) and the 'polite' sign in the stench filled 'tool-shed' for one of their 'regular customers' iz a GEM!
 
 

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