Sunday, 9 February 2014

THE CHELSKI OAPs 3 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2013-14

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 9th February 2014

"THE HAZARD WARNIN' LIGHTS ARE FLASHIN'!"
VIEW FROM ROW 5 UPPER TIER, IN 'THE SHED CORNER'
(£55 TO WATCH THE MATCH FROM HERE!)

With less than three hours kip after workin' neetshift, aa dragged meesel oot mee 'pit' and heeded for 'The Central' to catch the '8 bells' train to King's Cross alang with 'Norman the Cowboy Plumber' and hiz bruvva 'Faulty Towers' (Dowaz)

We arrived in the big city some 3 hours later and made straight for Hammersmith where 3 very large breekies were consumed (alang with several pints of 'Smiths'!) in 'The William Morris', before heedin' for 'Earls Court', which isn't too far from Stamford Bridge.

Some of the lads were in 'The Kings Heed' boozer and so that's where we 'heeded for'!---anly to be telt by the bar staff that the manager had just phoned and telt them NOT to sorve anymore Toon fans?--despite the fact that half a dozen of 'wor lot' were proppin' up the bar!---THEY could stay, but we COULDN'T!???
Rather than waste mee breath and argue 'the toss', we heeded for a regular haunt in 'The Blackbird' where the booncers REFUSED us access, sayin' that NE Toon fans were allowed into the bar!
THE KINGS HEAD---NAMED AND SHAMED!

We telt them that we came here every season, but it made ne difference and so we had to sorch for wor THORD boozer in the pourin' rain, which waz an Irish bar alang the road!
There were ne booncers this time and so we entered the packed bar where 'The Liverbirds' were trouncin' 'The Arse' 4-0 on the big screen, much to the delight of the watchin' Chelski fans!

Not suprizingly we decided to 'stay put' and left there with half an hour til kick off, for the 20 minute walk to the groond az the rain kept on pourin' doon!

The Toon had their biggest followin' here for many a year (3,000?) and they were in good voice az the game kicked off, with the forst song directed at wor 'beloved' owner, tellin' him to: "Get out of our club!---yoo fat Cockney bustard!"  <(or words to that effect!)

We started off well and had a couple of chances orly on but it waz the home side who broke the deadlock in the 27th minute when Hazard fired in a great shot in front of the Toon fans.
Their lead waz soon doubled not lang after when a great 'one-two' foond Hazard again and he placed the baall beyond Tim Krul in the Toon to put the game 'beyond 'us'!.

In the 2nd half we hardly did any attackin' and Hazard got hiz hat-trick from the penalty spot when Yanga needlessly pulled a Chelski player doon in the box!

And then at the death Toon super sub'??? 'Marveaux the Magician' failed to find the net when he waz put clean through and somehow he 'conjured up a magic trick' to put the baall wide of the post, when he looked certain to score! (an 'illusion' that completlee baffled us, az we were certain he HAD scored!)

A 3-0 defeat wasn't THAT bad, az we thought it would be more before the game! <(we must be thankful for smaall mercies!)

Just 13 games to gan now in this ever meaningless season!

Toon team: Krul, , Debuchy (Yanga 40), Santon, Williamson, Steve Taylor, Dummett, Anita (Marveaux 84), Ben Arfa (Gosling 64), Sissoko, Sammy Ameobi, De Jong

Attendance: 41,387 (an estimated 3,000 Toon fans!)  

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