THE TOON 2. THE ARSE 3 *** SINGAPORE FESTIVAL OF FUTBAALL!

 Posted ‘2:00pm 🛎️ bells’ Munday 28th July 2025

WONDERBAR

MURPHY’S LAW!

NUFCs forst game of wor Asia tour ended in a narrow 2-3 defeat against The Arse in The Singapore National Stadium!

Aa watched the forst half in Wonderbar in ‘The Gate’ and fully expected it to be rammed az anly 3 boozers had the game on live!

In total there were TEN people in the bar and anly 5 of them were watchin the game!

Aa got in late and az luck would have it Elanga scored from a Tonali pass, az I walked from the bar to find a seat! (aboot 100 available!)

The Arses 3 goals were aall misstayks! Forstly Bruno lost possession near wor box in the 32nd minute and before we knew it, it woz ones a piece with Merino scorin for them from a pass by Havertz, who had dispossessed Joe!

Then just a minute later an Arses cross alang the 18 yard line foond Alex Murphy, who attempted to boot the baall oot for a corner, but anly succeeded in puttin the baall into hiz own net to put The Arse 2-1 up! 

HT 2-1 to them!

For the 2nd half aa moved on to Shearer’s Bar underneath The Gallowgate End where aboot 20 were watchin the game!

JACOB MURPHY’ EQUALISER IN ‘SHEARER’S

We played a bit better in the 2nd period and this time the othaa Murphy (Jacob) slammed the baall into the roof of the net to level things 2-2!

Just when it looked like the game would end in a draw, Joelinton needlessly fouled Dowman in the box and after a brief check the Asian ref pointed to the spot for a penalty to them!

By this time The Pope who had made 2 great saves in the 2nd half had been replaced by Ruddy in The Toon goal and although he dived the reet way he woz unable to stop Odergaard’s powerful shot to put The Arses aheed once more! 3-2 to them!

A TOON FANS REACTION TO THE ARSES PENALTY!

That’s the way it ended for wor 2nd defeat of the pre season, after wor disastrous 4-0 defeat to Celtic in Glasgow last weekend!

Official Geordie Times Tellyhoppers attendances: 6 watchin in Wonderbar includin little old me and with me, 21 in Shearer’s!

PIX FROM ‘PAUL THE ENGLISHMAN’ IN SINGAPORE⬇️ 🇸🇬 

THE TOON V THE ARSE IN SINGAPORE ON SUNDAY

 Posted ‘high noon 🕛 🔔 bells’ Saturday 25th July 2025

A TOON FAN WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS (IN THE PINK?) CAALLED ‘PAUL THE ENGLISHMAN’ WITH ‘THE POPE’S ( The Toon goalie’s) MAMMY AND DADDY!

NUFC start wor pre season tour of Asia tomorrow dinnaatime when we take on The Arse at The National Stadium!

The Geordie Times haz sent wor cheeef paparazzi photographer ‘Paul the Englishman’ to take a few photos of the proceedings while he iz there and in Soooth Korea in the next part of the tour!

EX TOON PLAYER JOHN BERESFORD WITH WOR MAN IN PINK? (Iz it gay pride day in Singapore?)🤔

Someone asked me why I wozzint gannin? and I replied:

 “If yoo lend me 5 grand then I will gan!” (The estimated cost of travel, booze, hotels and scran!)

“But I won’t be able to pay yoo back coz I’ve just raided mee piggy bank and there iz precisely £5.23 in loose change, a 2 Euro coin and a ring pull from a beer can”!

Hiz response woz deathly silence!

A match report on the game (From Shearer’s Bar or Wonderbar in the Toon!) will be forthcoming on Munday sometime!

TOON FANS “ON THE HOY” IN SINGAPORE! 🇸🇬 

Upated just before ‘high noon 🕛 🔔 bells’ Sunday

THE TOON LINE UP!—BUT WHERE’S ISAK?🤔 (12:30 🛎️s KICK OFF!)

(More pix from Paul the Englishman)

WOR BUS ⬆️ AND WOR PUB ⬇️

“ON THE HOY” AGAIN! ⬆️⬇️

Az per usual “Watch this space intentleee!”

HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO! THERE HE GOES!

 Posted ‘3:57pm 🔔 bells’ Thorzday 24th July 2025

We will leave you to draw your own conclusions!😵😵‍💫😱🙈

And just a reminder what woz said  just under 4 years ago!⬇️

Again! We will leave you to draw your own conclusions!🤑💵💰💴💶

THE TIMS 4. THE TOON 0 *** FRIENDLY FIXTURE

 Posted ‘high noon 🕛 bells 🔔’ Sunday 20th July 2025

“WHERE’S WOR STRIKER GONE!?”🤔

The biggest worry for me , wasn’t the shambolic 4-0 defeat, but the fact that Alexander Isak wasn’t included in the 25 man squad that travelled to Glasgow!

I got that shock news from Toon fan ‘Mark Mini Mags’ on mee mobile ‘telling bone’ 📱🦴 an hour before kick off, az we were drinkin in Rutherglen, not too far from Celtic Park!

The less said aboot the match the better!—-watched by ower 10,000 Toon Travellers behind the right hand goal in both the lower and upper tiers of the South Stand!

THE TOON FANS, MANY DRESSED WITH UNION JACK FLAGS AND HATS AND SINGIN’ ANTI IRA SONGS TO GOAD THE CELTIC FANS! (NOTE THE EMPTY SEATS IN THE CELTIC CORNER!)

Willock’s calamitous tackle to give a penalty away for the 1st goal, ‘The Pope’ (of aall people) mistiming hiz run oot of goal to leave an open goal for a simple tap in to put us 2-0 doon bang on half time

SPOT THE EMPTY SEATS IN THE CELTIC END, AZ THE TOON SUBS IN ORANGE WARM UP IN FRONT OF THE TOON FANS!

Chaotic defending for both the 3rd and 4th goals in the 2nd period, az half of the away following were AWAY by the time the 4th goal went in!

Attendance: 45,739 (More than 10,000 Toon fans to watch this debacle!)

A bad day at ‘the office’ if ever there woz one and to compoond wor misery even forthaa, their woz nee trolly service in 1st class on the train from Edinburgh to The Toon, az the staff said it “wasn’t safe” with SO many Toon fans on the train! (Total bollix!)(Normally yoo get tea/coffee/booze/sarnies/crisps/ hot food/etc! —and there were loads of complaints to the lazy staff!)

And on the train back aa looked at Eddie Howe’s after match comments on mee ‘telling bone’ and he said that he “Was confident” that Isak would still be at NUFC when the transfor window closes! ‘Confident but NOT certain’ woz the message I got! (At the end of the day, it’s NOT hiz ‘call’, it’s up to wor Saudi owners!)

Their ambition to be ‘NUNBER ONE’ will NOT happen if we sell wor best players!—FULL STOP!⚫️

MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR BOOZER REPORT 2025-2026

In total 5 different boozers were visited in Rutherglen and Edinburgh!

001 CHAPMANS, RUTHERGLEN

CHAPMANS, (PLUS A MONUMENT!)

INSIDE CHAPMANS

002 AN RUEDH-GHLEANN

003 MILLCROFT, RUTHERGLEN

004 THE PICTURE HOUSE, RUTHERGLEN

005 THE PENNY BLACK, EDINBURGH

MORE PIX OF TOON FANS IN GLASGOW!⬇️

THE BRISTOL BAR, GLASGOW.                             (A RANGERS FANS BAR)

AND PIX OF TOON FANS IN THE HOME END TAKIN PIX OF TOON FANS IN THE AWAY END!⬇️

 

🎵 I’D WALK A MILLION MILES FOR ONE OF YOUR SMILES, JIM III-LEY! 🎶 (NUFC CAPTAIN IN THE 1960s)⬇️

When we gan to away games we seem to walk miles to and from the stadiums and between ‘drinkin’ dens!  I’ve got a distance and step coontaa on mee mobile ‘telling bone’, so am gannih to see just how many miles and steps we dee at aall wor away games this season on the day of the games!

For the Celtic game aa walked 4.49 miles and did 12,546 steps from leaving wor hoose at ‘7 am 🔔 bells’ to travel up to Glasgow by 🚂, to ‘10 pm bells’ 🔔 when aa got back yem!

THE TIMS V THE TOON***TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

 Posted ‘high noon 🕛 🛎️ bells’ Friday 18th July 2025

We heed northwards ower the border to Scotland tomorrow, where an amazin 10,000 plus Toon fans will descend on Glasgow for wor 2nd pre season friendly of the season against Scottish champions Celtic! (The 1st woz a 4-0 win v Carlisle behind closed doors orlier this week!)

We say 10,000 ‘plus’ az there will be ‘that’ many’ in the visitors sections and we hear that quite a few more have porchased tickets in the home sections az well!

VIEW FROM THE VISITORS SECTION OF CELTIC PARK!

“NO POPE IN ROME!—HE’S PLAYIN’ AT YOUR HOME!”

The reason why NUFC have been given so many tickets iz because many Celtic season ticket holders are boycottin the game az they will have to pay the £25 admission fee, instead of gettin a ‘free-bee’ az they have done in previous seasons for friendly matches! (It’s very hard to believe that they are staying away, especially az ‘The Pope’ will be in goal for us!?) ⬇️

A 40,000 crowd iz predicted with aboot 12,000 from Tyneside, includin those in the home sections!

That’s still 20,000 shy of capacity!

This will be be the biggest Inglish ‘invasion’ of Scotland since 15,000 Toon fans attended the Fairs Cup semi final game at Rangers in 1969! (And ‘yours truly’ woz one of them!)

We havvint got a clue wot the Toon’s startin XI will be, but we fully expect that Alanga will play some part in the proceeedings! 

But pleeeze don’t ask us aboot the ‘saga’ of Isak and Ekitike???🙈

A full GeordieTimes match (and boozer!) report will appear here sometime on Sunday!

And az we said to yoo many times last season: 

“Watch this space intentleee!”

RIP 🪦 WYN THE LEAP!

 Posted ‘6:00pm 🛎️ bells’ Thorzday 17th July 2025

WYN ‘THE LEAP’                                                 THE FUTBAALLER WHO COULD FLY!

Devastating news that former NUFC centre forward Wyn Davies haz passed away reaches us today!

In the 1960s Wyn woz mee forst childhood hero, in the days when aa used to stand behind the goal in the old Leazes End!

He won a Fairs Cup medal in 1969 and woz one of wor aall time great number ‘9’s!

It comes on the same day az we remember John Alder (The Undertaker) and Liam Sweeney (Liam from the Lamp)who lost their lives 11 years ago when their plane woz shot doon ower the Ukraine, when they were on route to New Zealand to watch 2 Toon friendlies!

A tribute post to them iz below this article!

RIP 🪦 JOHN, LIAM AND WYN LOST BUT NOT FORGOTTEN!

THE UNDERTAKER AND LIAM FROM THE LAMP *** LOST BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN!

Posted '2:00am bells' Thorzday17th July 2025

THE 'ALDER SWEENEY' MEMORIAL GARDEN' AT ST. JAMES' PARK

On this day 11 years ago John Alder 'The Undertaker' and Liam Sweeney 'From the Lamp' were on their way to New Zealand to watch The Toon in pre season friendlies.
They never got there az their plane waz shot doon ower The Ukraine and they perished alang with nearly 300 others!


They may be lost but they will NEVER! be forgotten by those who knew them well (like me) and those who had never met them!

RIP Lads!

TRANSFOR NEWS! LONGSTAFF OF TO LEEEDZ!

 Posted 8:17pm 🛎️ bells’ Tuezday 15th July 2025

*

NUFC V SAFC average gates 1893 to 2025**132 YEAR RECORD (NOW UPDATED FROM LAST SEASON)

Updated ‘high noon bells' Munday 14th July 2025

THE ADMIRAL OF THE FLEET, LORD BERESFORD
KICKS OFF THE 1904 DERBY MATCH @ ST JAMES' PARK
(LEAZES TERRACE (left) AND ST JAMES' STREET (right) 
ARE IN THE BACKGROOND)

NUFC v SAFC (average league attendances)

'The Geordie Times' haz  published below the average leegue attendances of both clubs from 1893 to 2025, startin' from 1893-1894 season and endin' on the current season, to date.
Obviously, because of 'The Bat Out Of Hell' coronavirus, the season finished for safc in March 2020!
In NUFC's case, aall Premyaa Leegue home games are/were behind closed doors after this---and in safc's case the Leegue One season woz abandoned! So average attendances are anly given up til March 2020! 

Season 2020-2021 woz played behind closed doors apart from one game for each club where 10,000 were admitted, so no average attendances for last season!

The SMBs claim that they are az loyal az The Toon fans and that they can match us in crowd figures throughoot the last 132 years of leegue futbaall between us!

Lets see if they are reet?---The SMBs joined The Futbaall Leegue in 1890 and NUFC joined in 1893 and so the average attendance figures are from the 1893-1894 season az we have ne NUFC data before that time.
Attendance figures are independant and are taken from three sources---'The Association of Football Statisticians', 'European Football Statisticians' and the excellent book, 'Through the Turnstiles', which gives every average gate for every club who have ever played in The Futbaall Leegue! (figures may differ slightly, dependin' on where yi look!)

Key: White=nufc best supported in that season
         Pink=safc best supported in that season


The Nineteenth Century---
Seasons 1893-1894 to 1899-1900
1893-1894---nufc 3,525---safc 6,890---0-1 to safc
1894-1895---nufc 4,155---safc 8,250---0-2 to safc
1895-1896---nufc 7,255---safc 6,210---1-2 to safc
1896-1897---nufc 8,130---safc 5,160---2-2
1897-1898--nufc 11,545--safc 10,970--3-2 to nufc
1898-1899--nufc17,390--safc12,540---4-2 to nufc
1899-1900--nufc16,445--safc11,265---5-2 to nufc

The start of the Twentieth Century
to the 1st World War---
Seasons 1900-1901 to 1914-1915
1900-1901--nufc 15,575--safc11,695---6-2 to nufc
1901-1902--nufc 14,450--safc12,905---7-2 to nufc
1902-1903--nufc 17,540--safc15,305---8-2 to nufc
1903-1904--nufc 17,565--safc13,670---9-2 to nufc
1904-1905--nufc 21,605--safc14,510--10-2 to nufc
1905-1906--nufc 22,765--safc13,015--11-2 to nufc
1906-1907-nufc*33,235--safc15,450--12-2 to nufc
1907-1908--nufc 27,875--safc17,470--13-2 to nufc
1908-1909--nufc 29,300--safc15,235--14-2 to nufc
1909-1910--nufc24,825--safc11,615--15-2 to nufc 
1910-1911--nufc25,055--safc16,650--16-2 to nufc
1911-1912--nufc24,995--safc12,555--17-2 to nufc
1912-1913--nufc24,935--safc17,940--18-2 to nufc
1913-1914--nufc24,710--safc20,865--19-2 to nufc
1914-1915--nufc14,545--safc10,230--20-2 to nufc

*WORLD RECORD!---nufc were the forst club in the world to have average gates of ower 30,000!

In the 1914-1915 season both clubs average gates dropped by 10,000 az many fans had went off to fight in the 1st World War!
The leegue waz then suspended from 1915-1916 to 1918-1919 because of the war. 

Inter War Years
Seasons 1919-1920 to 1938-1939
1919-1920--nufc38,390--safc25,580--21-2 to nufc
1920-1921--nufc41,265--safc28,765--22-2 to nufc
1921-1922--nufc34,860--safc24,150--23-2 to nufc
1922-1923--nufc27,085--safc23,070--24-2 to nufc
1923-1924--nufc26,865--safc23,475--25-2 to nufc
1924-1925--nufc24,325--safc20,440--26-2 to nufc
1925-1926--nufc29,957--safc21,399--27-2 to nufc
1926-1927--nufc36,510--safc18,142--28-2 to nufc
1927-1928--nufc30,195--safc21,411--29-2 to nufc
1928-1929--nufc31,667--safc25,196--30-2 to nufc
1929-1930--nufc32,559--safc24,553--31-2 to nufc
1930-1931--nufc26,151--safc22,015--32-2 to nufc
1931-1932--nufc30,336--safc23,131--33-2 to nufc
1932-1933--nufc25,992--safc17,254--34-2 to nufc
1933-1934--nufc24,142--safc18,269--35-2 to nufc
1934-1935--nufc20,081--safc25,397--35-3 to nufc
1935-1936--nufc19,483--safc30,378--35-4 to nufc
1936-1937--nufc24,430--safc28,670--35-5 to nufc
1937-1938--nufc21,276--safc25,132--35-6 to nufc
1938-1939--nufc32,693--safc21,740--36-6 to nufc

From 1939-1940 to 1945-1946 the leegue waz suspended due to The 2nd World War

Mid Twentieth Century
Seasons 1946-1947 to 1969-1970
1946-1947--nufc49,379--safc35,301--37-6 to nufc
1947-1948-nufc*56,283--safc42,888--38-6 to nufc
1948-1949--nufc53,839--safc45,220--39-6 to nufc
1949-1950-nufc46,468--safc*47,785--39-7 to nufc
1950-1951--nufc46,651--safc39,766--40-7 to nufc
1951-1952--nufc50,476--safc39,853--41-7 to nufc
1952-1953--nufc44,521--safc39,767--42-7 to nufc
1953-1954--nufc45,392--safc42,505--43-7 to nufc
1954-1955--nufc42,925--safc43,043--43-8 to nufc
1955-1956--nufc37,666--safc35,888--44-8 to nufc
1956-1957--nufc35,202--safc36,145--44-9 to nufc
1957-1958--nufc36,241--safc36,146--45-9 to nufc
1958-1959--nufc39,458--safc27,772--46-9 to nufc
1959-1960--nufc36,037--safc22,831--47-9 to nufc
1960-1961--nufc26,500--safc26,051--48-9 to nufc
1961-1962-nufc27,946--safc32,986--48-10 to nufc
1962-1963-nufc31,634--safc40,883--48-11 to nufc
1963-1964-nufc29,435--safc41,258--48-12 to nufc
1964-1965-nufc35,659--safc40,637--48-13 to nufc
1965-1966-nufc33,793--safc34,488--48-14 to nufc
1966-1967-nufc32,081--safc31,731--49-14 to nufc
1967-1968-nufc37,239--safc30,873--50-14 to nufc
1968-1969-nufc34,016--safc25,426--51-14 to nufc
1969-1970-nufc37,553--safc21,790--52-14 to nufc

*WORLD RECORD!---nufc were the forst club in the world to have average gates of ower 50,000 (both 'The Arse' and 'Man U' both averaged ower 50,000 az well in that season, but we reached that average, forst!) 
Unbeleeeviblee!, nufc were in the old 2nd Division at the time, and this iz STILL! a WORLD RECORD for any club ootside the 'top flight', to this day!

*safc record average gate 

Mid to Late Twentieth Century
Seasons1970-1971 to 1999-2000
1970-1971-nufc29,735--safc15,780--53-14 to nufc
1971-1972-nufc32,664--safc15,906--54-14 to nufc
1972-1973-nufc27,939--safc22,603--55-14 to nufc
1973-1974-nufc32,861--safc24,409--56-14 to nufc
1974-1975-nufc34,614--safc29,931--57-14 to nufc
1975-1976-nufc33,060--safc31,250--58-14 to nufc
1976-1977-nufc33,599--safc32,743--59-14 to nufc
1977-1978-nufc24,729--safc22,276--60-14 to nufc
1978-1979-nufc20,494--safc25,454--60-15 to nufc
1979-1980-nufc23,345--safc27,119--60-16 to nufc
1980-1981-nufc16,001--safc26,477--60-17 to nufc
1981-1982-nufc17,276--safc19,608--60-18 to nufc
1982-1983-nufc24,116--safc17,370--61-18 to nufc
1983-1984-nufc29,811--safc16,180--62-18 to nufc
1984-1985-nufc26,228--safc18,347--63-18 to nufc
1985-1986-nufc23,434--safc16,052--64-18 to nufc
1986-1987-nufc24,792--safc13,601--65-18 to nufc
1987-1988-nufc21,059--safc17,425--66-18 to nufc
1988-1989-nufc22,921--safc14,878--67-18 to nufc
1989-1990-nufc21,590--safc17,987--68-18 to nufc
1990-1991-nufc16,834--safc22,577--68-19 to nufc
1991-1992-nufc21,148--safc18,390--69-19 to nufc
1992-1993-nufc29,048--safc17,260--70-19 to nufc
1993-1994-nufc33,679--safc16,934--71-19 to nufc
1994-1995-nufc34,690--safc15,344--72-19 to nufc
1995-1996-nufc36,507--safc17,482--73-19 to nufc
1996-1997-nufc36,466--safc20,865--74-19 to nufc
1997-1998-nufc36,680--safc33,492--75-19 to nufc
1998-1999-nufc36,690--safc38,745--75-20 to nufc
1999-2000-nufc36,333--safc41,375--75-21 to nufc

Early Twenty forst Century
Seasons 2000-2001 to 2022-2023
2000-2001-nufc51,309--safc46,791--76-21 to nufc
2001-2002-nufc51,373--safc46,744--77-21 to nufc
2002-2003-nufc51,923--safc39,698--78-21 to nufc
2003-2004-nufc51,966--safc27,120--79-21 to nufc
2004-2005-nufc51,844--safc28,820--80-21 to nufc
2005-2006-nufc52,032--safc33,904--81-21 to nufc
2006-2007-nufc50,686--safc31,887--82-21 to nufc
2007-2008-nufc51,330--safc43,344--83-21 to nufc
2008-2009nufc*48,750--safc40,168--84-21to nufc
2009-2010-nufc43,388--safc40,355--85-21 to nufc
2010-2011-nufc47,718--safc40,011--86-21 to nufc
2011-2012-nufc49,936--safc39,095--87-21 to nufc
2012-2013-nufc50,517--safc40,544--88-21 to nufc
2013-2014-nufc50,395--safc41,090--89-21 to nufc
2014-2015-nufc 50,359--safc43,157--90-21 to nufc
2015-2016-nufc*49,790--safc43,071--91-21 to nufc
2016-2017-nufc 51,106--safc 41,287--92-21 to nufc
2017-2018-nufc 51,992--safc 27,635--93-21 to nufc
2018-2019-nufc 51,121--safc32,157--94-21 to nufc
2019-2020-nufc 48,248--safc30,118--95-21 to nufc

It should be noted that nufc gave 10,000 free season tickets away, starting from the Everton game on 28th December 2019. Before that wor average gates were 46,049, so nufc were still 16,000 ahead of safc, even before the free tickets giveaway!

2020-2021 Aall games played behind closed doors because of covid, apart from 1 game each, where 10,000 were allowed to attend!-So 2020-2021 season iz not counted

2021-2022-nufc51,487--safc33,062--96-21 to nufc

2022-2023-nufc52,127--safc38,658--97-21 to nufc 

2023-2024-nufc52,153–safc41,028–98-21 to nufc

2024-2025-nufc52,184--safc40,704--99-21 to nufc

*WORLD RECORD/and *NEW WORLD RECORD average gates for a relegated club!---
These relegation totals are aalso higher than the SAFC RECORD average gate of 47,785 in the 1949-1950 season!
In total NUFC have beaten the SAFC record average gate 26 times!

"Put THAT! in your pipe and smoke it!"

"CONCLUSION!?---WE LEAVE TO DRAW YOUR OWN! CONCLUSIONS!!!???

www.geordietimes.com

AT ‘LANG’ LAST WE GET ELANGA!

 Posted ‘midneet 🛎️ bells’ Saturday 12th July 2025

It’s been a lang hot summer for NUFC fans, many frustrated that nee new signings have been on the horizon!

But at lang last we have one through the door in the shape of Anthony Elanga from The Friar Tuck Mob of Nottingham on a 5 year contract (But he arrived on Tuezday, so why haz it taken NUFC SO lang to announce it???🤔)

He’s a 23 year old winger and a Swedish International and the fee iz a reported £52K

He can run 100 metres in less than 11 seconds and we can foresee lang baalls hoofed upfield for him to chase and ootrun defenders!

More signins are in the pipeline az the pre season creeps ever closer!

PS: The Geordie Times will anly give yoo news of signings and NOT speculation to who we might/or might not sign? in the summer transfor window!✍️ 

Az per usual: “Watch this space intentleeee!”

In othaa news Callum Wilson haz played hiz last game for NUFC!

He scored 49 goals in 130 appearances and will be sadly missed!

He haz penned a great tribute aboot hiz time here and we wish him well in the future! 👏 ⬇️