Tuesday, 17 July 2018

334 HOLKER STREET, BARROW

Ground number 334
Date of First Visit: 16th July 2018
Holker Street, Barrow in Furness

Barrow 2
Newcastle United U23s 3

Friendly fixture
Attendance: 400 est

"THE THORD OF A THOOSAND CLUB!"

SORENSEN'S 1st GOAL
(GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE!)

(Brief match report)

The Toon's 2nd string came from behind to win this thrillin encoontaa 3-2 in Barrow 'the back of beyond'!

John Rooney the bruvva of Wayne, opened yhe scorin for the home side after just 4 mins on the clock
Ivan Toney equalised for NUFC just before the break with a tap in your great granny could have scored!

Sorensen then got 2 for The Toon in the 2nd period before Barrow pulled one back, but it woz too little too late az we held on for the win!
This groond meenz av past the thord of a thoosand grounds mark followin NUFC!

(Much more to follow when aa get time!----got to catch a ferry to Dublin for wor 1st teams game at St Patricks Athletic!)

THE UNDERTAKER AND LIAM FROM THE LAMP *** LOST BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN!

Posted '12:10am bells' Tuesday 17th July 2018

On this day four years ago John 'The Undertaker' and Liam 'From the Lamp' were on their way to New Zealand to watch The Toon in pre season friendlies.
They never got there az their plane waz shot doon ower The Ukraine and they perished alang with nearly 300 others!

 Wor forst forst team friendly of the season iz in Dublin tooneet v St Patricks Athletic.
We are sure that both John and Liam will lookin' doon from heaven watchin' the game!

They may be lost but they will never be forgotten by those who knew them well (like me) and those who had never met them!

RIP Lads!

Sunday, 15 July 2018

U23s, 1st TEAM, U18s *** THE PRE SEASON STARTS TOMORROW!

Posted '10:45am bells' Sunday 15th July 2018

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' face a hectic week!
We travel to Barrow tomorrow neet for wor U23s game at Holker Street and then onward by train and ferry to Dublin for wor forst team's game a day later against St Patricks Athletic, who play at Richmond Park.
RICHMOND PARK, DUBLIN

We then fly back on Wednesday and then prepare for an epic 9 and a half hours train jorney to Cornwall, where wor U18s are playin in a tournament next weekend in a place caalled Mousehole, which iz just 10 miles from Lands End!
A PENALTY SHOOTOUT AT MOUSEHOLE FC LAST SEASON!

Match reports will be done on mee 'bottom of the range' mobile 'telling bone', so pleeze expect some misstakes and errrorz! (especially after a 'session on the hoy'!)

PS: Wor U23s were rumoured to be playin' Hamilton Accies at Stirling University in Scotland next Sunday---but az yet we have received ne conformation of this! (It wouldn't matter to us anyway, az we'd be unable to gan az we fly back from Exeter at the exact time az the Stirling game iz due to be played!)

BELJIM 2 ING-ER-LAND 0 3rd/4th place play off

Posted 10:15am bells Sunday 15th July 2018


Az expected Ing-er-land failed to beat Beljim for the 2nd time in the World Cup, gannin doon 2-0 in the play off for thord place!
After 7 games played they won 4 and lost 3---and will receive a heros welcome when they fly back home!!!???

Ing-er-land are miles behind the top teams az woz proved yesterday in St Petersborg.

Crow-ay-shaa play Franss this afternoon in Moscow and we hope they win it!

Thursday, 12 July 2018

"ANLY TEARS FOR SOUVINERS YET AGAIN!"

Posted 'just after high noon bells' Thorsday 12th July 2018


Crow-ay-shaa 2  Ing-er-land 1
πŸ˜₯😀😧
It aall ended in tears once again when we went oot with a bang (on the heed!) in The World Cup semis last neet and anly thing we will be bringin back home are tears, souvenir futbaallz and Russian dolls, after this crushin 2-1 defeat!


Ing-er-land shud have put the Crow-aats to the sword but didnt take their chances in the forst half and payed the ultimate price in extra time! (In the 6 games played, Ing-er-land have anly had 6 (SIX) shots on target!) (ie: Thats anly 1 (ONE) shot per game on average!😨)


The meaningless 3rd/4th place decider takes place on Saturday v Beljim and yoo can bet your bottom dollar that both side will be full of the players who never got a game!

In other words it will be Beljim resorves v Ing-er-land resorves! (Again!)

I certainly wont be glued to the telly watchin that one!😨

Wednesday, 11 July 2018

"INGLISH TIL WE DIE!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 11th July 2018
New-cas-sil's coat of arms

A canny while back, while in London for a Toon game, a Chelski fan I woz taalkin to said Geordies shud support Scotland, az we were so close to the Scottish border!

I replied that I woz born 50 miles south of the border (az the drunken magpie flyz!) and even if I woz born "1 inch" inside the Inglish border, then I am Inglish, I replied!-----HE DIDN'T!

The 2 closest cities on the Inglish side of the border, namely Carlyl and New-cas-sil BOTH show their allegiance and have the Ing-er-land flag in their badges!
Carlye's badge

In othaa words: "We are Inglish til we die!", just like The Cockneys in London, The Scousers in Liverpool, The Brummies in Bormingham, The west country yokels from Bristil, Yowvil and Plymith and the rest of the inhabitants who were born in this country!

We are aall rootin for Ing-er-land tooneet in their quest to reach The World Cup final after a gap of 52 years!

Crow-ay-shaa wont be easy opponents but they are beatable nonetheless!

Franss await the winners in Sunday's final in Moscow after beatin favourites Beljim 1-0 in last neets othaa semi final!

"HOWAY THE LADS!"

Tuesday, 10 July 2018

NEW ENTERTAINERS AWAY KIT RELEASED!

Posted '12:47pm bells' Tuesday 10th July 2018

NUFC have unveiled wor new away kit for the forthcomin' season and it' s a throwback to the 1995 'entertainers' change strip!

Lets hope that we ARE entertained in the 2018-2019 season!?

News aalso reaches us that 'President' Kenedy iz back on anothaa loan season lang deal from Chelski.
The 22 year old Brazilian made thorteen appearances for us last season

"Welcome back Ken!"

Monday, 9 July 2018

"BEER WE GO!, BEER WE GO!, BEER WE GO!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 9th July 2018
                    It's last Saturday and Ing-er-land have just scored against Sweedin!---
                                   and the beer gans skywards in Times Square!          

Mebeez a'm a bit 'long in the tooth', but to pay £40 to sit and £22 to stand in Times Square, New-cas-sil, watchin' a big screen and gettin' expensive £5 pints of beer in plastic glasses hoyed ower yoo when Ing-er-land score, iz NOT my idea of a fun day oot!😨

Personally, I will watch the final for FREE in 'The Leazes End Club' behind St James' Park (£2.70 a pint in a reeel glass container!) and hoy mee beer doon mee throat instead!😨🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
(Hopefully Ing-er-land will be 'in it'!?)

One brain dead idiot wrote this on Twitter and
  bein' a responsible publication,😨 
'The Ge😨rdie Times' haz **** any swear words!

"Thieving c**** at Times Square.
Tickets just went on sale for semi final.
22 f****** quid to stand. £40 to sit down.
F****** unbelievable. Yet more proof of this country being f*****".

Geordie Times reply.
"Simple---divvint gan then, you 'simpleton'!
There are 100 plus pubs/clubs in New-cas-sil city centre alone that are showin' it FREE!
If you're not old enough to drink, then watch it at home, az its on terrestrial telly!"

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