Monday, 25 September 2017

"NE WHERE NEAR" BRIGHTON 1 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards Munday 25th September 2017
NICE STADIUM!---PITY ITS IN THE WRANG PLACE, MILES FROM BRIGHTON!

WE were brought back doon to orth with a bump at The AMEX on Sunday in a game we didn't deserve to lose!
When yoo are watchin' the match from behind the goal, yoo miss incidents that are picked up on the telly and 2 of those things were that there woz a clear foul before their goal and that their goalscorer shouldn't have been on the pitch az he stamped on Yedlin beforehand! (missed by the officials AND 'us')
JONJO SHELVEY'S CORNER WHICH HIT THE NEAR POST!

WE did have chances to score but couldn't take them, with Joselu gannin close and super sub Shelvey hittin the post from a corner near the end! There were aalso chances for anothaa sub Dwight Gayle but he couldn't put them away!
That's 3 wins and 3 defeats from wor forst 6 games back in 'The Premyaa', and we drop 5 places in the table to 9th position!

More worryinglee 2 of those defeats are against fellow 'weaker' promoted sides ('uddersfield iz the othaa one)

The jorney back to Tyneside woz horrendous, havin to endure the the ride back to Brighton station shoehorned into one of the train carriages like sardines from Falmer and then the train back to London Bridge which woz packed to the rafters az well!
DIVVINT DRINK HERE!----UNLESS YOO ARE VERY RICH!

It woz then 2 tube rides back to King's Cross before catchin a quick 'lubrication' at £5.50 a pint in The Fellow bar near the station, before boardin the '10 bells' train back to The Toon---which didn't arrive back til '2 bells' in the mornin'!
And we've got to de the same in a fortneets time---when we heed for Sooothampton for yet anothaa Sunday away day (wor 4th in 4 away games so far!)
Who would be a Toon fan?

PS: Aa dragged me lifeless body oot of bed at '11 15am bells' this mornin' and told wor lass that aa woz 'knackered'!
I didn't get any sympathy and she said: "Yoo divvint have to gan--do yoo?"  She's WRANG of course---"Oh yes I DO!" 

Toon team: Elliot, Yedlin, Lascelles, Clark, Mbemba (Gamez 83) Hayden (Shelvey 68), Merino, Richie, Perez, Atsu, Josalu (Gayle 71)

Attendance: 30,468 (including 2,500 'weary' Toon fans!)
A record crowd for The Amex!

*


Sunday, 24 September 2017

"NE WHERE NEAR' BRIGHTON v THE TOON ***** THIS AFTERNOOON

Posted from 10am bells onwards Sunday 24th September 2017

1st stop HAYWARDS HEATH and then LEWES az this iz nearer to Brighton's groond than Brighton toon centre!
Burrell Arms
Haywards Heath


The Lamb of Lewes***Lewes!

The Volunteers*** Lewes


John Harvey Tavern
Lewes

HT 0  0

FT lost 1  0 😨

BRIEF MATCH REPORT

An unenspirin performance from NUFC az wor 3 match winnin streak came to an abrupt end on the sooth coast today!

We had chances to win it but were unable to convort them and 
 paid the ultimate price az a free kick to Brighton woz convorted  orly in the 2nd half and this torned oot to be the anly goal of the game!
We are on the lang jorney yem az I write this and are due back in The Toon at the ungodly time of 2 08am bells!

Full match report and pix to follow sometime tomorrow!
Gaanin to get some 'shuteye' now on 'The midnight train to Geordieland'!
"ZZZzzzzzz!!!!!"
  



Saturday, 23 September 2017

"NE WHERE NEAR" BRIGHTON V THE TOON ***Saturday update! "LONDON 'CRAWL'ING!"

Posted from high noon bells, onwards, Saturday 23rd September 2017
PLATFORM 4 LOOKIN TOWARDS THE 'NEW'CASTLE!

Just jumped on the train at 'The Central' on way to King's Cross with a '4 pack' to keep me company!

"LONDON 'CRAWL'ING!"

Stoppin near KX (King's Cross, London) on wor way to Brighton tomorrow
Pub crawl updates az we do them! (Watch this space from '4 bells' onwards!)

King's Cross and environs 'drinkin dens'!
BAR + BLOCK
Divvint worry!   its ORANGE and white stripes!

O'NEILLS

The Rocket (NOT the 1 in Dunston!)

The Euston Tap

The Lord John Russell
Tavistock Square

Friend in Hand








"GEORDIE TIMES NEWSFLASH!"

Posted 3 26pm bells near Peterborough train station Saturday 23rd September 2017

It haz been reported that the new Crystal 'Balls Up' manager Woy Hodgson haz been on a secret spyin mission for Palace's forthcomin game at St James' Park!

Friday, 22 September 2017

"NE WHERE NEAR" BRIGHTON v THE TOON **** SUNDAY AFTERNOOON!

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 21st September 2017
Updated at Woodall sorvices truck park on the M1
10 45pm bells, Friday
NOW YOO NAA WHY WE CAALL THEM
"NE WHERE NEAR" BRIGHTON!

Next up on wor travels iz the away game at Falmer in Sussex where Brighton play!---Their groond iz actually nearer to to the town of Lewes in the opposite direction to Brighton!

It's a nice stadium in the WRANG place, with ne car parkin' allowed whatsoever for fans and (more importantly!) ne pubs anywhere near the groond, which iz in the middle of "ne where"!

The train ride from central Brighton to the groond iz a nightmare and yoo have to queue for at least half an hour to get on one!---which will be packed to the rafters for the 6 mile jorney!
(It would be like NUFC playin at Tynemoooth, with just the Metro to rely on from St James' station!) <(it doesn't bear 'finkin' aboot!)

This iz wor 4th visit here, so we 'naa the score' and plan to get a 5 seater taxi to The Amex Stadium instead, this time!
Getting the train meenz yoo HAVE to leave the boozer yoo are drinkin in at least an hour an a qwaataa beforehand to make the kick off!---so a taxi will save us valuable 'drinkin time', az we will book one for aroond three qwaataaz of an hour before kick off!

Tim Krul, wor (now!) former keeper haz just signed a one year deal with Brighton and could well be between the posts when we play them on Sunday!---surely it would have been better to delay the transfor until AFTER we have played them!?---lets hope he doesn't have 'a blinder'!---"Eh!"

We have sold wor full allocation of 2,500 tickets----aalso sold oot iz wor next away game 'doon here' v Sooothampton--allocation 3,200 tickets!

Team news and more updates later!


AN OPPORTUNITY MISSED!

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 22nd September 2017


Just foond oot that wor U18s are playin' at Moan Us former trainin groond tomorrow dinnertime!
'The Cliff' in Salford will be the venue for the game, but unfortunately aa wont be there az a'm booked on a dinnertime train to King's Cross in London tomorrow on mee way to Brighton for Sundays forst team encoontaa with er! ("Ne where near") Brighton!

Aa'v been to Moan Us current trainin' groond in Carrington to watch wor U18s before---but NOT 'The Cliff'!
The reason they are playin there iz because the pitches at Carrington are bein relayed!

If anly a'd knaan this a month ago before aa booked mee train tickets to London/Brighton!



PS: Ne doubt that some 'NUFC mad sad groundhoppers' WILL be there though! (1 or 2 !)


Wednesday, 20 September 2017

NUFC TICKET NEWS *** UPDATE

Posted '12:45pm bells' Tuesday 19th September 2017
Updated 'high noon bells' Wednesday 20th

The 2,500 tickets for wor away game at (ne where near!) Brighton on Sunday have completleee sold oot!----not bad for a Sunday '4 bells' kick off with little spare time to catch trains yem!

Meenwhile tickets for wor away game at Bornley are now on sale to those of yoo who have 50 loyalty points (that's 50 away games attended ower the last few years)
Again!--this iz a televised game on a Munday neet for the benefit of the 'pub plonkies' and the 'couch potato brigade' <(but not 'US'--the fans who actually gan to these games!)

Wor next home game' by the way' against The Liverbirds  on 1st October iz a complete selloot az well!   (Wor FIFTH live Sunday telly game so far!--'With more to follow!)

Oh! nearly forgot!---tickets for wor away game at Sooothampton on October 15th are aalso on sale:
Zero points required priced at £20 for big kids---£18 for zimmerframeites and £12 for sprogs!
And guess what?---this game iz aalso on a SUNDAY for live telly (they love us--don't they?)----wor thord lang distance away game in a row of 700 miles or more (roond trip) on the Sabbath!----that's SIX Sunday games in total, then!

'GEORDIE TIMES'Z AWAY DAY MILAGE --- SO FAR!

'UDDERSFIELD 242 miles roond trip by car (Sunday)
SWANZEE 706 miles roond trip by train (Sunday) (left Saturday--came back Munday!)

NEXT UP!
(Ne where near) BRIGHTON 724 miles roond trip by train (Sunday)
SOOOTHAMPTON 736 miles roond trip by train (Sunday!)

Monday, 18 September 2017

BRIGHTON U23S 0 THE TOON U23S 0

Posted 11 20 pm bells Munday 18th September 2017 at Woodall services truck park, M1
PIC FROM MARCH 2016 VISIT

Wor U23s playin in their aall black away strip drew 0-0 with Brighton's eqivelent at Crawley Town
F C
Wor goalie Freddie Woodman made 5  exceptional saves durin' the forst half to deny Brighton.
Callum Smith, Luke Charman and Kyle Cameron aall had chances in the 2nd period but were unable to put them away
We wornt there az we've been there before to watch wor 2nd string 18 months ago! (1-1)---we definatly  WUD have been there, had we not previously visited Broadfield Stadium!
(see match report from that game in the archive section--- 'ground 319')

Attendance not known but we suspect that at least 2 NUFC mad sad groundhoppers WERE THERE!

Sunday, 17 September 2017

THE TOON 2 THE P*SS POTTS 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '11:11 am bells' Sunday 17th September 2017
"SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW!"


"GEORD-EEEZ IN THE CHAMPIONS LEEGUE!"

Who wud evaa have believed it!?---NUFC in 4th place aftaa yesterdays games and in a Champions Leegue position, to boot!

An inspirin' display from the black 'n' whites with loads of missed chances in a 100 mile per hour game!
We took the lead at The Leazes End in the 19th minute when Richie crossed a terrific baall which foond Atsu on the back post and he volleyed it from close in with hiz left foot to give the Stoke keeper ne chance!
ATSU'S GOAL!

Joselu then missed 2 great chances to increase wor lead but couldn't put the baall into the back of the net!
We were to roo those missed chances az 'The P*ss Potters of Stoke' equalised 12 mins after the restart through Shaqiri with a pression shot just inside the post!

And then the moment of the game when Rob Elliot in The Toon goal made a brilliant one handed save from a downward Diouf heeder to deny wor visitors an undeserved lead!
ROB ELLIOT'S BRILLIANT SAVE

Atsu woz then put clean through and woz brought doon in the box---but the ref amazingly waved 'play on' az Lascelles gave the Ref a 'ear full' for hiz missteak! (see photo below)
7 year old Gransdon Jamie then asked me if the ref woz a "Stoke fan!" < (he naaz wot he iz taalkin aboot!)


LASCELLE'S WINNER! (He's the one with hiz heed doon in the middle of the picture)

Just after this we won a corner and Richie's centre foond the heed of Lascelles whos heeder went in off the bar 'Geoff Hurst style' az the crowd roared loudly (justice for the Atsu gaff (see The Geordie Times'z excluuusive photo of  the penalty incident!)

Joselu then missed anothaa great chance, but at least he iz gettin' into the right positions, so surely this will bear fruit in the comin' months!

Stoke had a great chance near the end through Diouf, but hiz effort thankfully wizzed past the post and the game woz won!---A great performance from us and a desorved 3 points!
(If anly that North Korean 'toss pot' Kim Jong Un  cud press the  nuclear button to start 'World War 3'  and the season wud end now!)

We then watched Sporz draw in the evenin game in The Bodega, which meant we were above them, The Liverbirds AND The Arse in 4th position aftaa wor thord win on the spin!

They have proved the doubters wrong---including little old 'ME'!

Toon team: Elliot, Yedlin, Lascelles, Clark, Mbemba, Hayden (Shelvey 69), Merino,Richie, Perez (Diame 86), Atsu, Joselu (Gayle 78)

Attendance: 51,795 (Just 1,450 'P*ss Potters')
                                            Happy Toon fans leavin the groond via Barrack Road!

The pre and post match 'gargels' took place in The Bodega, The Leazes End Club, The Irish Club, Tilleys and then back to The Bodega!

                                                          The Leazes End Club concert room

Thursday, 14 September 2017

THE TOON v THE P*SS POTTS OF STOKE *** SATURDAY AFTERNOOON!

Posted '1 15pm bells' Thorsday 14th September 2017
Updated Friday 15th at 'high noon bells' and Saturday 16th from '11 bells' onwards
HALF TIME AND FULL SCORE WILL APPEAR AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE ASAP

TOON FANS ON THE MARCH BEFORE WOR LAST HOME GAME AGAINST WEST HAM



This comin' Saturday we face a Stoke side at SJP, hopin' for wor thord win 'on the bounce'?

It wont be eezy az their manager Mark Hughes haz them well organised and they will kick and hack the Toon players, thats for sure!  They came from behind last weekend to draw 2-2 with Moan U at their place (who's manager Moanrino had took 'the huff'  refused to shake hands with Hughzy at the end of the game) (*ANKER!)
(on Talk Sport Man U fans were NOT happy at their 3-0 win against Basle on Tuesday in the Champions Leegue and moaned aboot it?---They are well named MOAN United!)

The P*ss Potts have returned 1,000 of their 3,100 allocation of away tickets and they are on sale now to Toon fans
Thankfully bonus disputes between wor ' beloved owner'? and the player have been resolved and they will receeve a very nice £4 million bonus if we avoid the dreaded drop (17th place)---£1 million iz added for every place higher than 17th and shud we finish where we are right now (in 10th place!) that's an extra £7 million added to the 'pot'! (IF only I could have been a professional futbaaller instead of a truck driver!)

Aalso Rafa the Gaffer iz back at work after missin' the 1-0 win at Swanzee last Sunday, which iz good news aall roond!
Mitrovic sorves the 2nd of hiz 2 match suspension and Paul Dummett iz still 'knackered'!---but Mbemba could retorn

HALF TIME AND FULL TIME SCORE WILL APPEAR HERE AZ SOOON AZ POSSIBLE!

HALF TIME SCORE; 1  0 up!  (Atsu)

FULL TIME SCORE; won 2  1 Lascelles

ATTENDANCE;51, 795 (2,000 stoke)

FULL MATCH REPORT AND PIX TO FOLLOW SOMETIME TOMORROW!---az per usual WATCH THIS SPACE!


ARCHIVE GROUNDS MATCH REPORT LIST