THE TOON 4 CHELSEEE 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2023-2024

 Posted '1:00pm bells' Sunday 26th Novembaa 2023

“WE'RE OWER THE MOON WITH THIS RESULT!”

An unexpected result for certain az we expected a tough game and a draw woz predicted by The Geordie Times for wor injury depleted side, which included THREE goalies on the bench!--How wrang we were!

The sequence of events were az follows:

13th minute: 17 year old Lewis Miley threads a pinpoint baall through to Isak who hits hiz shot past Sanchez in the visitors goal at The Leazes End! (1-0 to us!)

23rd minute: A misstayk by Lascelles led to a free kick on the edge of the box for Chelseee. Sterling took it and gave Pope in The Toon goal nee chance with a shot into the top corner to level things! 

45th minute: Trippier free kick hits the goal frame!

(HT 1-1)

60th minute: Lascelles makes up for hiz orlier error by heedin home unmarked from a Gordon cross! (2-1 to us!)

61st minute: We hadnt stopped celebratin Lascelles goal when Joelinton latched onto a misstayk by a Chelseee defender and fired home to increase wor lead to 3-1!

73rd minute: Chelseee caption James iz sent off for a 2nd bookable offence to reduce wor visitors to 10 men!

Fans celebrated Gordon’s goal!

83rd minute: Gordon completes the scorin with a shot into the corner of the net to send the crowd into raptures! (apart from the 1,000 or so left in the visitors section, az 2,000 had aalready departed for the train to King's Cross!)⬇️

A great performance to set us up nicely for the trip to Paris on Tuezday neet when we play PSG in wor last away game in the group stage of The Champions Leegue!

ATTENDANCE: 52,227 (3,100 very unhappy visitors who sang “We’ve won it all!—You’ve won F??k all!” Before the game!) And we aall hope they had a-miserable 💩 jorney 🚂 back to London!

 🤪👍

T

This game iz dedicated to 3 Toon diehards who have recently passed away!

RIP Dinzzy who drank in The Leazes End Companions Club before the match and Fairza who drank in Rosie’s Bar!

And Ray Gilroy (who we’re never met!)

Lost but not forgotten! 🪦 

The ‘tool-shed’ in Rosie’s

THE TOON v CHELSEEE *** THIS AFTERNOOON!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 25th Novembaa 2023

HAPPY FANS LEAVE SJP AFTER BEATIN' CHELSEEE 1-0 LAST SEASON!

* This afternooon at '3:00 bells' we take on Chelseee at SJP in a rare non televised game and we havvint got a clue wot side Steady Eddie will be forced to pick, az the forst team injury list iz still in double figures!???

It will be tough for certain az we enter a hectic period with NINE games before Xmas Day in 3 competitions!

At the time of writin this, we will be very happy with a win against a resurgent Chelseee side, on the up! But a draw iz the most likely ootcome!

Then its off to Paris next Tuezday, for wor Champions Leegue game against PSG (We are on the Eurostar from St. Pancras for 'this one'!) and then 7 more games in 21 days, with an unglamorous trip to Luton the last of the 7, just before Xmas!

A full Geordie Times match report on today's game will appear here , sometime tomorrow!---Az per usual!

TOON GET GREEN LIGHT FOR LOAN SIGNINGS

 Posted '6:14pm bells' Wedinzday 22nd Novembaa 2023 

"CAN WE HAVE SOME OF THEEEZE?---PLEEEZE!"

Unexpectidleee, NUFC have been given the green light to sign loan players from Saudi clubs in the January transfor window, after the 20 Premyaa Leegue clubs voted by 12 (to ban loan players) to 8 (to allow it) az the 14 majority needed to ban loan players woz not reached! 

The 8 who voted to keep loan deals are Shefff U, Forist, Maan City, Chelseee, Evaatin, Wulvz, Bornley and of course NUFC!

NUFC INJURY LIST LENGTHENS!

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Saturday 18th Novembaa 2023

There are an incredible 14 Toon players who are unlikely to play against Chelsea next Saturday through injuries, Ineligibility's and suspensions!----

"BRING ON THE RESORVES AND YOUTH TEAMS, EDDIE!"

1:Schar: Hamstring

2:Isak: Groin

3:Manquillo: Groin

4:Hall: Ineligible for Chelsea game az they are hiz parent club

5:Longstaff: Ankle

6:Almiron: Hamstring

7:Barnes: Foot

8:Wilson: Hamstring

9:Murphy: Shoulder

10:Burn: Back

11:Anderson: Back

12:Targett: Hamstring

13:Botman: Knee

14:Tonali: Suspended

"IT'S A GOAL!---IT'S A GOAL!---IT'S A GOAL!"

 Posted 'just after 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 15th Novembaa 2023

The disputed goal against 'The Arse' haz been confirmed az a genuine goal, when an unprecedented 3 VAR decisions went in wor favour, az video and audio iz released between Stuart Atwell the ref and the VAR team at Stockley Park! (Are yoo watchin Arteta???---Who said the goal woz an absolute disgrace!)

⚽️IT'S A GOAL!

⚽️IT'S A GOAL!

⚽️IT'S A GOAL!

Bournemoooth 2. The Toon 0. —-Premyaa Leegue 2023-2024

 Posted from 11:19am  bells  onwards 12th Novembaa 2023 on the train back!

Pleeze expect many misstayz az am deein this brief report on a smaall mobile telling bone!

Toon in unlucky green again (we played in green in Dortmund last Tuesday!) We have played in eethaa the green top or white top with green trim 12 times and have won just ONCE!

“More south coast sorrow!”

Let’s say straight away that this woz definitely wor worst performance of the season az wor severely depleted squad through injuries and suspensions struggled to contain a Bournemoooth team who were in the relegation zone at the kick off!

Add Almiron to the list az well!

From the start the home side went on the attack and had several chances to take the lead!

17 year old Lewis Miley made his first start and iz the youngest ever Toon player to start a Premyaa Leegue game!  (Av mentioned this before---Ah went to school with Lewis's granddad when we were 5 years old----"Lewis Miley---He's one of our own!")

We somehow managed to survive til half time az everyone looked shattered with Miggy Almiron forced off due to a hamstring injury! (More injuries to add to the very long list!—includin suspensions we make it a whole team of 11 unavailable!) (Er! Sorry! TWELVE including ‘Miggy’!)

So it woz nee wonder that in the 2nd half that Bournemooth opened the scoring’ when Willock made a misstayk and Solanke fired home in the 60thminute!

The home side doubled their lead in the 73rd minute through Solanke again and with virtually nee sign of a Toon goal it ended 2-0 to them!  

Man of the match iz undoubtably 'The Pope' in the Toon goal who made many great saves to keep the score doon! This woz wor forst Premyaa Leegue defeat since August when we played badly again v Brighton and lost 3-1–South coast sorrow for certain!

At the end the team came ower to applaud the travellin fans and one arsehole slagged Trippier off and he woz non too pleased!  (We had just left before that, but seen the altercation on 'Twitter' later on!)

This tosser should lose aall his loyalty points az he definatly ISN’T a loyal fan  FULL STOP!⚫️

Lewis Miley---"He's one of our own!"

Attendance: 11,201 (1,300 Toon fans! Although there were some empty seats?)

A bugler plays the last post before the game

Pub crawl pix ----anly 3 this time! Runnin total 55

BREWHOUSE & KITCHEN, POKESDOWN, BOURNEMOOOTH

THE WAY OUTBACK, POKESDOWN, BOURNEMOOOTH

WATERLOO TAP, WATERLOO, LONDON

BOURNEMOOOTH v THE TOON *** SATURDAY TEATIME!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 11th Novembaa 2023 (Armistice Day)

"WE WILL REMEMBER THEM!"

The games have been comin up thick and fast again and 'az we speak' we are on wor travels yet again, heedin to Bournemoooth on the south coast---The langest ever distance for a Premyaa Leegue/top flight game! (750 miles roond trip)  (We've played at Plymoooth of course, which iz an 820 mile roond trip, but that woz in The Championship/old 2nd Division, az they have never been in the top flight!) 

We have so many injuries and suspensions that we divvint have a clue wot team Steady Eddie will put oot v Bournemoooth?

Below iz a match report from wor U19s game v Borussiaaa Dortmund U19s on Tuezday afternooon at Dortmund's Brakel Trainin groond!----After that it woz off to the main stadium for wor Champions Leegue game at the main stadium! (Match report on that below!)

We are hearin that we are gettin a reduced allocation of just 2,000 tickets for wor Champions Leegue game at PSG in Paris at the end of the month!

NUFC have protested to UEFA, az we want wor full 5% allocation which iz 2,450 (Capacity 49,000)

The Geordie Times will of course let yoo know if we are successful in gettin the extra 450 tickets, which we are entitled to!?

A brief match report on the Bournemoooth game will appear here on the train back via King's Cross in London sometime on Sunday, but bare in mind that aa will be deein it on mee smaall mobile 'telling bone'---so many misstayks are likely! (To be updated on mee laptop when aa get yem!)

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

364 brakel training ground, dortmund (v dortmund u19s)

 Ground number 364

Date of First Visit: 7th November 2023

Brakel Training Ground, Dortmund, Germany

Borussia Dortmund U19s  2

Newcastle United U19s  2 (Hethernan, Huntley)

UEFA Youth League

Attendance: 942 (A smatterin' of Toon fans)

THE REF GIVES A “HEIL HITLER” NAZI SALUTE! ONE OF MANY DURIN THE MATCH! (I THOUGH IT WOZ BANNED IN JAWMANY?)

"A DOUBLE HEEDER IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE!"

We decided to dee this U19s game on the other side of Dortmund to the main stadium to tick off another groond in the never endin list!

To get there we travelled from wor base in Dusseldorf by train, had a few pints in Dormund centre and heeded for the game by undergroond, tram and bus!----It took quite a while to get there but thankfully we just made the 2 bells kick off! (The main game at the Signal Park in The Champions Leegue didn't kick of til '6:45 bells' local time, so we had time to dee this one az well!)

It didnt start off well az Dortmund youngins laid seige to wor goal!

The inevitable happened in the 10th minute when Campbell opened the scorin for the home side and just 20 minutes later they doubled their lead!---It really looked az though we would take a real hammerin' az Aiden Harris in The Toon goal woz kept very busy!

Dortmund hit the post in the dyin embers of the 1st half, but thankfully the baall rebounded to safety! HT 2-0 to them!

The 2nd half produced a bit more fight from the green clad visitors and thoughts of an unlikely comeback came in the 78th minute when Irish youngster Cathal Heffernan heeded home to half the deficit!

Then just 4 minutes before full time up stepped James Huntley to heed another into the net, for the 2nd goal and claim a point! (A double heeder to draw the game at 2-2)

A crumpled team sheet! Wot did yoo expect?              This IZ The Geordie Times!

It woz then off to the main game---the 2nd part of the double heeder of games for 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers'! (The forst time we had seen 2 Toon games on the same day on new groonds!        364 and 365 off the list for me!) 

Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper!) 

365 signal iduna park, dortmund, germany

Ground number 365 (117th consecutive European competition game home and away)

Date of First visit: 7th November 2023

Signal Iduna Park, Dortmund, Germany

Borussia Dortmund 2

Newcastle United 0

Champions League Group Stage 'F'

Attendance: 81,365 (3,900 Toon fans plus 1,000 plus more in the home sections

“Once yiv seen one waall,  yiv seen them aall!”

View from row 23 seat 23 in the upper tier.  Toon in green strip

*”Injury crisis engulfs The Toon!”

With 7 players ruled oot because of injuries and 1 suspended it woz never gannin to be eezy—Add in the fact that we didn’t play very well and a 2-0 defeat wozzint a surprise!

Ower 10,000 had travelled to Jawmany and with an allocation of just 3,900 many Toon fans bought tickets for the home sections on the black market for 150 euros upwards!

The Yellow Wall at Dortmund behind the home goal holds 35,000 and iz huge and they did a canny flag display az The Champions Leegue tune rang oot before the game!! (Not az good az ‘Wor Flags’ of course!)

Aalso they played ‘You’ll never walk alone' ower the tannoy to very loud booos from The Toon end!

From the word ‘go’ we looked knackered and Dortmund looked the better side!

After some lucky deflections the baall fell to Fullrug in the 26th minute and he made nee misstayk,beatin Pope in The Toon goal in front of The Yellow Wall!(Fullrug had certainly pulled the rug from under wor feet!)(sic!)

HT 1-0 to them

*We played much better in the 2nd period and Joelinton missed 2 glorious chances, heedin wide both times!

And did we pay the price for those missedmisses!  In the 79th minute Brandt woz put clean though and placed his shot beyond The Pope in The Toon goal!

Almiron aalso had a great chance but fired straight at their keeper!

The players came ower to applaud the travelling’ faithful at the end!

And we have to say that the Dortmund fans were great with nee animosity---Indeed Toon fans were in the home sections WITH their colours on! 

Attendance: 81,365  3,900 Toon fans in the away end plus aboot 1,000 in the home sections! (At least!)

Dortmund fans protest against the European Super Leegue (Not aboot the NUFC takeover az reported by the BBC) The 3 main culprits below!

From left to right: Juventus owner, UEFA president and PSG owner

A 2-0 defeat and with ACcMilan beatin PSG 2-1 it woz more bad news az it sent us to the bottom of Group F (it iz indeed the group of death!)

We have 2 more chances to try and get 2 the top 2 and qualify for the knockout stage—/ it won’t be eezy

*footnote: beforehand we had watched wor U19s draw 2-2 v Dortmund U19s at their Braken trainin groond, so that’s 2 new groonds to add to the list for The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!

Numbers 364 and 365🤪👍

We’ve done aall the world’s waalls now!

1 The Berlin waall (when NUFC played Chemnister)

2,The Byker waall! (of course!)

3 The Great waall of China-town (The city waalls near SJP in Bath Lane and behind Stowell Street)

4 The Borussiaaa Dortmund Yellow waall 

5 And of course Hadrians waall 

And speaking of that, have yoo ever wondered where The Sycamore Gap Tree ended up after it woz chopped doon?

Whey maan!—-We foond it in wor hotel foyer in Düsseldorf before wor game in Dortmund! 🌳 🤪👍

More on aall this much later  plus a match and booze report on both games! (It’s nearly 3 bells 🔔 now and time for boardin for the 3 30 bells flight ✈️ back to Toon airport!)

In total 9 places that sold booze were visited on wor way to and back from Dortmund. Toon airport, Dusseldorf, Dortmund and Dusseldorf airport

Runnin total 52

SPORTSBAR DÜSSELDORF AIRPORT GERMANY

BORUSSIAAA DORTMUND v THE TOON *** CHAMPIONS LEEGUE *** TUEZDAY NEET!

 Posted from '6:17pm bells' local time, Munday 6th Novembaa 2023 in Dusseldorf, Jawmaneee!

Düsseldorf 

*The flight from Toon airport to Dusseldorf took less than 2 hours and we are stayin in a hotel close to the airport

We are ‘on the hoy’ here tooneet, az there are loads of boozers in the city centre!🍺🍺🍺🍺

And then onward to Dortmund via the snail 🐌 🚂 train tomorrow, (coz it’s free if yoo have a match ticket!) where we are gannin to groundhop to watch wor U19s play Dortmund U19s at their Brakel trainin groond, in the UEFA Youth Leegue, before the main event at the 81,000 capacity Signal Iduna  Park Stadium later on! ((2 new groonds within a few hours iz unprecedented for The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!)🤪👍

Keep watchin this space for boozer photos Thats IF the internet here lets The Geordie Times send the photos?

Dusseldorf (we stopped here for a few liquid lubrications🤪👍🍺🍺🍺🍺)

Of course those of yoo who arnt here will be glued to the telly back home and around the globe to watch the match!

Dusseldorf 

There won’t be match reports til we get back on Wedinzday, az tryin to dee match reports on a smaall mobile telling 📱 bone 🍖 iz not eeezy—much eezier to dee it on a laptop 💻! When we get back!

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