Posted '1:55pm bells' Tuezday 10th January 2023

Tooneet we play wor biggest game of the season against 'The Basil Brush Brigade' of Lestaa in the qwaataa final of The Leegue Cup for a place in the 2 legged semis!

The weather on Tyneside iz grey skies and heavy rain az I type!

'Steady Eddie' haz promised to play the strongest team possible, unlike the disastrous exit in The FA Cup against 3rd tier Sheff Wed on Saturday, when we made 8 changes to wor previous startin line up at Arsenal! (It didn't work!)

We beat 'The Basil Brush Brigade' 3-0 at their place on Boxin Day, and so we are odds on favorites to win!----Just like at Sheff Wed, where we LOST! ie: We are The Toon---Anything can happen!

A full hoose iz guaranteed even though Lestaa anly sold 1,000 of their possible 5,500 allocation of tickets-----The 4,500 spare were snapped up by Toon fans straight away!

A semi final awaits!----Lets hope we are in the draw THIS TIME for the semis!?

A Geordie Times match report will appear here az per usual sometime tomorrow!---So, "Watch this space!" 

THE WEDINZDAY 2 THE TOON 1 *** FA CUP 3rd ROOND

 Posted from 3:50pm 'bells' onwards, Sunday 8th January 2023

VIEW FROM ROW 8 OF THE WEST STAND UPPER TIER                          (FORMERLY CAALLED THE LEPPINGS LANE END)

"WOR FA CUP JINX CONTINUES UNABATED!"

Glarin' misses from Anderson, Murphy and Wood cost NUFC a place in the 4th roond draw, az 3rd tier Sheff Wed beat us 2-1 in front of a live BBC TV audience on Saturday evenin'! (and a 25,000 plus crowd!)

THE TOON PLAYED IN AN AALL WHITE STRIP

8 changes were made to wor startin' line up from the team that got a very credible 0-0 draw at The Arse last Tuesday!

Those changes proved decisive, az we struggled to break doon the home sides defence with some wayward shootin and we eventually paid the ultimate price with 2 goals from Josh Windass in the 2nd half, the forst which woz offside, but couldn't be ruled oot coz VAR wasnt available to clubs ootside the top flight, az their groonds havvint got the technology to use it!  

'The cavalry' arrived when we were 2-0 doon and Bruno pulled one back from a Trippier corner----and when Chris Wood woz put through by Joelinton with 8 minutes to gan, he inexplicably shot high ower the bar from a few yards oot, when it looked much easier to score! 

And that woz it!----oot of the FA Cup to yet another lower leegue club and it doesn't seem to matter just who iz wor manager iz, the loss rate against 'minnows' just gans on and on! (Leegue 1 Cambridge at SJP last season, don't forget!)

To play weakened teams time and time again just doesn't work for us!

If anything, wor resorve players simply arn't up to standard and we are surely gannin to have to spend some dosh in the Janauary window to strengthen wor squad!

A bad day at the office indeed!----so we must regroup for wor vital qwaataa final Leegue Cup tie against Lestaa at SJP on Tuezday neet with A FULL STRENGH TEAM! 

NUFC 'NEAR' RESORVE  STARTIN' X1

Attendance: 25,884 (4,500 shocked Toon fans)  We thought this game would be a sell oot, but how wrang we were!  

SPOT THE EMPTY BLUE SEATS IN 'THE KOP 'AT HILLSBOROUGH---             THE MIDDLE SECTION IZ FULL(ISH!), BUT THE END SECTIONS ARE HALF EMPTY!

Wedinzday anly sold 21,384 tickets to their own fans? (Loyal supporters, my arse!) South Yorkshire police set a limit of 4,500 in the visitors section, when we could have sold 4 times az many tickets to fill the groond! (bless 'em!)

"WHEN WILL THEY EVER LEARN?"

In the concourses before the match there woz severve crushin' and it took us ages to get to wor seats!----Nothin' it seems haz been learned from the Hillsborough disaster in 1989 (The same Leppings Lane End az we were in!)

The pre match 'gargels' took place in the Wadsley Bridge WMC up the hill from Hillsborough, where the discussion woz just where we would have to gan in the next roond az the ' 3:00 bells ' results came through. (divvint forget that wor game didnt kick off til '6:00 bells') And we dreaded that we would have to gan to the likes of Sooothampton or Brightin again!----We shouldn't have worried though, SHOULD WE!???

Liquid Lubrication Locations visited so far this season iz now 94

"WOT CUD HAVE BEEN!" 

 Before the game, NUFC and Sheff Wed were conformed az baall 29 in the draw for the 4th roond. 

Sheff Wed got a home tie against Fleetwood Toon!

THE WEDINZDAY v THE TOON *** FA CUP 3rd ROOND *** TODAY

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 7th January 2023

THE LAST TIME NUFC FANS WERE HERE---APRIL 2017----LOST 2-1 (CHAMPIONSHIP)

We heed for Hillsborough for this FA Cup tie against 3rd tier Sheff Wed, in a few minutes time which iz live on the Beeb at '6:00 pm bells'

Aall 4,500 away tickets have been snapped up and a full hoose iz predicted!

Its said that record signin Isak could retorn after a 4 month absence, but apart from him we arnt sure how strong a team 'Steady Eddie' will field come kick off time!?

The draw for the 4th roond takes place on Sunday before the Man City v Chelsea tie

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Sunday----and a boozer crawl report from the Arsenal game, which we didnt have time to dee last week!

THE ARSE 0 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted from '10:15am 🔔 bells' onwards, Wedinzday 4th January 2023 on the train back from London

View from row 15 in the away end

NUFC RECORD BREAKERS! (Brief match report)

For the forst time this season we prevented The Arse from scorin home or away, plus this woz the forst time they didn't win at home!

The Toon recorded wor 13th Premyaa Leegue game in a row unbeaten!--A new record for games in a single season!

And with just one undeserved loss in 21 Leegue and Cup games we remain in 3rd place in the table!

Nick Pope oversaw hiz 6th clean sheet in a row in aall competitions, which iz aalso a club record and NUFC have the meanest defence in the top flight with just 9 goals conceded!

It woz a masterclass and dogged performance az 9 players from both sides were booked by the over zelious ref!

(Includin Lascelles who woz warming up on the touchline!)

Arteta's arsehole antics near the end were embarrassing az he ran up and doon the touchline claimin a penalty deep into stoppage time, but the ref woz having 'none of it' and booked an Arse player for protestin!

We remain 9 points behind The Arse at the top of the tree!

Attendance:60,319 (3,000 happy Toon  fans!)

Updated 5:45pm bells Thorzday at Woolley Edge truck park M1 south

PS Not had time to update boozer report --az when aa got back from London at 1pm bells aa had to change into mee work gear and drive mee truck to Redditch at 2bells

Same today!

Will dee it when aa get time!

Updated Sunday 8th January

LONDON PUB CRAWL: 7 BOOZERS VISITED

Runnin total for the season so far: 91

THE ARSE V THE TOON *** TOOONEET!

 Posted 'high noon🔔 bells' Munday "er" Tuezday 3rd January 2023 (Thanx to Jimmy the Riddler for spotting mee delibritt misstayk!)

*The 0-0 draw v Leeedz looked like a bad result at the time, but draws at Man City and Chelsea and defeats for Sporz and Livaapoool meenz that they havint gained any points on us!

The anly downside woz Moan U's win at Wolves moving them within 2 points of us!

The Arse won of course and have a 100% home record, so tooneets game won't be easy and will be a good test to see just how close we are to them!

A win would take us to within 6 points of them, a draw would see the gap remain at 9 points and defeat would end wor outside chances of catchin them, az the gap would increase to 12 points!(plus they have a game in hand!)

We will soon find oot az we are on wor way in one of the few trains that are runnin today, because of strike action!

A full Geordie Times match (and boozer!) report will appear here sometime tomorrow on the way back! (Provided wor train iz runnin!?)

Az per usual, "Watch this space!"

FROM 91st TO 6th IN 365 DAYS!

Posted '12:55am bells' Munday 2nd January 2023

In the 2021 form table NUFC were 91st oot of the 92 teams in The Premyaa Leegue and EFL combined table and were odds on favorites to be relegated to The Championship!

One year on and we have moved up 85 places to 6th best oot of the 92 and are ootside favorites to qualify for The Champions Leegue!

We were the worst Premyaa Leegue team in 2021 with a points won per game rate of 0.88 (8 games won) and the 4th best in 2022 with a points won per game rate of 2.00! (21 games won)

One of the most remarkable tornaroonds in Futbaall Leegue history!

THE 'BROKEN NOSE BRUCE' AND 'FAT CONTROLLER' EFFECT!

THE 'STEADY EDDIE' AND 'PIF' EFFECT!

THE TOON 0 LEEEDZ 0 ***PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted '9:38pm🔔 bells' New Years Eve 2022

"YI CANNIT WIN THEM AALL!"

A frustrating day at 'The Cathedral on the Hill' ended in a goalless draw in heavy rain and thick fog!

We had many (many!) chances to win but bad misses by Longstaff, Schar, Wood, Joelinton and Botman meant NUFC had to settle for a point az Leeedz wasted az much time az they could which heated over in the final minutes with Leeedz goalie theatrically gannin to ground after bein shoved by Wilson for blatent time wastin! (Sommik the very poor ref didn't dee anything to stop!)

It ended a run of 6 succesive Premya Leegue wins but overall in 2022 we have lost just ONE Premyaa Leegue home game--last season v Livaapoool in April!  The anly othaa home defeat in 2022 woz against (wait for it!) CAMBRIDGE! in the FA Cup last January!

NUFC end the year in 3rd place in the table--a position that not even the most optimistic Toon fan could have dreamed of! (We were 19th at this point last season!)

2023 can anly get BETTER me 'finks'!  "ONWARD AND UPWARD!" 🤪👍🍺

PS: A minutes applause for Pele preceded the kick off az Brazilian Bruno wore the Pele number 10 shirt in hiz honour before reverting to hiz number 39 Toon top az the game started!

Attendance: 52,211 (3,200 Leeedz fans)

*

THE TOON V LEEEDZ *** THIS AFTERNOOON!

 Posted 'high noon bells' New Years Eve 2022

THE LEAZES END NORTH CORNER FROM LEAZES PARK

If yoo include aall wor Premyaa Leegue, Leegue Cup games and mid season friendlies, NUFC have won 11 games in a row gannin into the last game of 2022!

A remarkable and unforgettable run!

Not sure if Callum Wilson will take any part? az the most likely line up will be the startin line up that destroyed Lestaa 3-0 in just half an hour on Boxin Day!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here later on!  Az per usual "Watch this space!"

AT LAST!---SOME COMMON SENSE PREVAILS!

 Posted '7:17pm bells' Thorzday 29th Decembaa 2022

 

THE ORIGINAL POST ON THE CLUBS WEBSITE AT THE BEGINNIN' OF THE WEEK

AND THE UPDATED NEWS FOR LEVEL 7 SEASON TICKET HOLDERS ON WEDINZDAY

For the past few seasons, season ticket holder in 'level 7' of The Milburn and Leazes End corner sections have had to relocate to the lower bowl of SJP, az under 'The Fat Controller's' disastrous regime, we couldn't fill the top deck of the groond for cup games---and so that woz understandable!

HOWEVER! Under the new regime this practice haz continued, even though there are now sell out crowds for cup games!---We then had to relocate to anothaa part of the groond and look up to level 7 and spot some strangers sittin in wor seats, while we had to settle for inferior seats in The Leazes or Gallowgate End!

I sent an 'E mail' to the club askin just WHY we couldnt buy wor own seats when a sell out woz guaranteed! (I got no reply!)

For wor cup game v Bournemoooth we managed to get seats in row 'DD' of The Milburn Stand, which woz pitch level and wasnt a good view at aall! (3 rows from the front!)

Now at last we hear that we can at last buy wor own seats in The Milburn Stand balcony for the Leegue Cup tie with Lestaa City next month!

We understand that some season ticket holder could be displaced in The Leazes west corner, az Lestaa might ask for more than the 3,000 away tickets for the game----they are entitled to double that number for cup games!

But where I sit iz miles away from the visitin' fans and it woz infuriatin' to have to wait a few days after sales commenced  to get 'the scraps' that season ticket holders didn't buy in eethaa The Leazes or Gallowgate ends!

Common sense haz finally prevailed!  "HIP HIP HORRAY!"    

THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE 0 THE TOON 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted  '1:00pm🔔 bells' Tuezday 27th Decembaa 2022

Chris Wood penalty     1-0 to NUFC (VIEW from row 'LL' in the away corner)

"FROM 2ND BOTTOM TO 2ND TOP!"

A year ago NUFC were in free fall after the mess Broken Nose Bruce had left--just ONE win and heedin for the Championship abyss!

A year on and under 'Steady Eddie' ("The guy who got Bournemoooth relegated!" said Brucey) we have won 7 in a row and can dream of a Champions Leegue place!--or a miracle of the title (unlikely but not impossible!)

Within 3 minutes we had a penalty at the far end from us when Joelinton woz hacked doon in the box!

Chris Wood took the spot kick and fired hiz shot into the centre of the net!---Within 2 minutes of that we had doubled wor lead when a 'one-two-one' between Almiron and Bruno had Miggy jink through the Lestaa box to shoot into the far corner for a brilliant goal!---which sent the 3,300 Toon fans in the far corner into meltdoon!

Toon fans started singin': "We're gonna win the Leegue!"  Not me mind--lets wait til we DEE and I will sing alang then!

Joelinton trebled wor lead before the half hour mark when he rose above the home defence to heed home from the edge edge of the box from a Kieran Trippier corner to virtually seal the win and the 3 points, well before the half time break!

The 2nd half wasnt az good az we eased off the gas but *The Basil Brush Brigade misfired badly and hardly had a shot on goal!  (Lestaaz nickname iz The Foxes--Basil Brush iz a fox!---get it!???) The atmosphere from their fans woz crap, but the one good thing iz they don't have them horrible clappers anymore! (Just crap plastic blue flags to wave!)

Jamie Vardy came on az a sub for Lestaa to chants from the Toon faithful of: "Jamie Vardy--your lass iz a grass!" (In relation to hor lost libel case against Wayne Rooney's wife!)

By this time there were thooosands of empty blue seats az their fans left in droves!

" We can see yoo sneakin' out!"

Anothaa clean sheet az well, az we climbed above Man City into 2nd place! (For the time being at least!)

Anothaa fab win under Steady Eddie's guidance!---wot a difference a year makes!

*PS: We said in The Geordie Times preview of the match that we hoped that the Toon fans could sing the "Jingle bells" song;

Wor wish woz granted!

Aaltogether now!

🎵Jingle 🔔 bells- Jingle 🔔 bells--Jingle aall the way!--oh wot fun it iz to see Newcasil win away!🎵

*Attendance: 32,185 (3,300 very happy Toon fans!)

Az usual when we come doon these parts we heeded for The Regent Club for the pre match 'gargels' which iz aboot a 20 minute walk from the groond!) 

Wor 84th Liquid Lubrication Location of the season so far!