Friday, 19 November 2021

PENFOLD PEDDLED*** GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE!

 Posted '5:00pm bells' Friday 19th November 2021


News that the NUFC MD iz now the former NUFC MD, haz reached 'The Geordie Times'!

He started off az a 'stamp licker' office boy to former secretary Russell Cushing and woz promoted to MD by wor previous owner 'The Fat Controller'! (????)

He negotiated the appointment of 'The Wally with the Brolly', Steve McClaren az manager and said at the time that he woz, "The perfect fit for the job!"

 10 months later NUFC were RELEGATED to the Championship!  (Say no more!)

The anly thing to get rid of now are them AAFUL SD signs that blight wor groond!

Then we can finally get wor club back!

Thursday, 18 November 2021

THE TOON U23s 1 'UDDERSFEEELD 'B' 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE CUP group stage

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 18th November 2021



Last neet wor U23s drew 1-1 with 'uddersfeeeld in The Premyaa leegue Cup at Blue Flames! (aka Whitley Park)

We came back after wor visitors took the lead through a 1st half penalty in the 30th minute, when Jay Turner-Cooke scored with a deflected shot 5 mins into the 2nd half to grab a point!

Crowd: 316

Wednesday, 17 November 2021

TYNESIDE UNITED!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 17th November 2021



'The Heedbangers' of Gatesheed pulled of a great result in their FA Cup 1st roond replay at Altrincham last neet!

They won 3-2 to set up a moooth watering home 2nd roond tie against Leegue One Charlton Athletic!

Nee less than NINE! former Toon players were on duty for 'The Heedbangers' last neet in their 14 man squad, includin' player manager Mike Williamson!

And they were: Adam Campbell, Gregg Olley, Dan Ward, Owen Bailey, Alex Nicholson, Louis Story, Jack Hunter, Cedwyn Scott and of course Mike Williamson!

The tie will be on the telly (ITV 4) and will be played on Friday 3rd December at '7:45 bells'---NUFC divvint play til the next day at home to 'The Bornley Hillbillies' and so a large crowd iz anticipated at Gatesheed Stadium!

In othaa news, Gary Hoffman haz resigned az The Premyaa Leegue's chairman, az the so caalled 'big sicks' ("er!" SIX!) are not happy that they wornt informed that the NUFC takeower woz given the green light!

Proof that they HAVE interfered in the PIF takeower, when it woz supposed to be confidential!

No doubt much more to follow on aall this!

Tuesday, 16 November 2021

SUPERMAC'S RECORD STILL STANDS AFTER 46 YEARS! ----BUT IT WOZ A CLOSE CAALL!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 16th November 2021


Harry Kane went very close to scorin 5 goals in Ing-er-land's 10-0 record win ower San Marino yesterday!

He got 4, includin 2 penalties, before bein' substituted on the hour mark!

This meeenz that 'Supermac' (Malcolm Macdonald), who scored a record breakin' 5 goals against Cyprus at Wembley in 1975, in a European Championship qualifier, STILL HOLDS THE GOALS RECORD for an Inglish player in a competitive game! 

And he did it az an NUFC player of course!

Long may this record stand!

Altogether now!

"Supermac superstar, how many goals have yoo scored so far?"


Sunday, 14 November 2021

MARINE 2 DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS 2 (MARINE WIN 5-4 ON PENALTIES) *** FA TROPHY 1st ROOND

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 14th November 2021



"WELCOME TO THE STADIUM OF DARKNESS!"



The Geordie Times haz written so many "Yi couldnt make it up!" stories aboot wor futbaall travels and this one iz near the top of the list, beleeeve yoo me!

Coz of the International break there woz nee Toon game ower the weekend and so aa decided to dee a bit of non leegue groundhoppin' with mee favorite non leegue team, Dunston!

They were playin awaay to Marine of Liverpoool in the FA Trophy and az a'd never been to their groond aa managed to 'cadge a lift' on the team bus!

An uneventval jorney, (apart from gettin stuck in a massive traffic jam on the M62 near Manchester!) and we arrived in good time for the pre match 'gargels' which took place in 'The Edinburgh' next to the groond and then onward to the clubhoose, which woz packed to the rafters!





A'd met 'Davy the Silver Fox' and hiz ever faithful drinkin' partner Barbara (hiz wife!) in 'The Edinburgh', who follow 'The Bad Blue Boys' home and away and we made for the tornstiles 5minutes  before kick off, az there woz a minutes silence for those who lost their lives in conflict! ("We will remember them!")



And then to the match!--because Liverpoool and Evatin wornt playin, like The Toon, there woz a very large crowd for this level of futbaall, in a groond that had its main stand behind the goal and a deed narrow covered terrace on one side and a high fence on the other in a vain attempt to stop the baalls gannin into somebodys back garden!---The numbers on the fence were so they knew where the baalls had landed and they could knock on their door and ask for the baalls back! ("Can we have our ball back please, mister!")



We heeded for the far end of the groond where there woz an open terrace, az Dunston were kickin' that way in the forst half!



It wasnt a very good half to be honest and the 'highlight' woz a big green balloon that the local kids had brung to the match, which blew onto the pitch!---A crowd steward picked it up az the kids asked for their balloon back, but the b*stard burst it instead, to loud boooos from them!

It shud be noted that 'The Bad Blue Boys' played in an aall red kit, by the way, while Marine played in white shirts and black shorts!

Anyway!---the 2nd half started under the floodlights az it woz gettin dark and 4 minutes later they went oot aall of a sudden!

After a while the ref took the players off the pitch and by amazin' coincidence the Dunston number 4 Phil Turnbull woz a 'sparky' (electrician!) and he frantically tried to fix the lights!-----It then went 'viral' with the BBC and Sky Sports reportin' it! (Surely yi couldnt make THIS up!?)

The ref gave a deadline of '5 bells' for the lights to be fixed, or else the game would be abandoned! (Davy and Barbara had to catch a train and couldnt wait for the restart)

Apparently, The Dunston player could anly fix one of the lights despite frantic efforts!---Az he had'nt brought hiz electricians tool box with him to the match (believe it or not?) it took another local 'sparky' Marine fan to help him dee it, az he lived just doon the road!--The chairman of Marine gave him a lift to pick HIZ toolbox up from hiz hoose at '4:45 bells'! (It get crazier every minute folks!)

A miracle then happened az aall the lights suddenly came on, with loud cheers from the fans who had patiently waited in hope that they could be fixed!

The game restarted at '5:05 bells' and the delay seemed to put Dunston oot of their stride and they conceded 2 goals in quick succession from Wignall and Reilly and the game looked dead a buried!



But 'The Bad Blue Boys' are made of sterner stuff and fought back with goals from Sado Djalo and Lee Mason to send the game into penalty kick mode!

Unfortunately for 'us' Marine won it by 5 kicks to 4, az the game ended at '6 bells'----3 hours after it started, which makes it the langest game av ever been tee, from start to finish!

Team sheet and green match ticket---proof that 'we woz there'!

Attendance: 1,202 (a few from Dunston + quite a few watchin' on from their back gardens and hoose windows!)

"ARE YOU WATCHIN' NUMBER 27?"

The 'sparky' in question got some stick on the bus back yem for forgettin' hiz toolbox and nee doubt he will have it on the next away trip!---JUST IN CASE! 



Fans in the crowd put their phone lights on and people in the hooses that surroond the pitch put their spotlights on, in a frantic effort to get the match restarted!








A MARINE TEAM PHOTO FROM THE 1890s

Updated on Munday from the national press!



Saturday, 13 November 2021

"NO ONE LIKES US! WE DON'T CARE!"

 Posted '10:20am bells' Saturday 13th November 2021


With nee Toon game coz of the International break, av decided to dee a bit of non leegue groundhoppin and I am heedin to Liverpoool az we speak to watch Marine v Dunston in the FA Trophy!

More hate haz been written aboot NUFC in the Daily Wail, mockin Ananda and wor fans!

At the end of the day it woz The Fat Controller who sold wor club to the PIF and NOT the Toon fans!---Yet WE get aall the stick and not a word against TFC for sellin' it!

Just like Millwaall--NO ONE LIKES US!--- WE DONT CARE!

Friday, 12 November 2021

A 'SIGN' OF THE TIMES! *** AMANDA SPEAKS!

 Posted '11:00am bells' Friday 12th November 2021


There are so many ugly red and blue SD signs plastered everywhere at St. James' Park, that Amanda cannit take a descent photo of wor stadium, withoot gettin a SD advort in the backgroond!
They are everywhere yoo look, from both sides of the club name on The East Stand, to the entrance from the players tunnel, to every stand in the groond!----We havvint coonted them, but there must be 300 at least! 

*The sooner they are gone (just like 'The Fat Controller' and wor former 'National Treasure' manager!) the better!---and then we can 'move on' to much (much!) better days aheed!








Thursday, 11 November 2021

"HOWE-WAY THE LAD!" (PART 4)

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 11th November 2021 


* Eddie poses in front of The East Stand with Amanda and hor hubby, Mehrdad! (Looks like Eddie's gannin to wear the number 4 shirt?)

Note that the SD advorts on eethaa side of the club name have been magically airbrushed away!

Eddie's trainin' methods have been a real eye opener and the fact that on hiz forst day in the job he torned up at the trainnin groond before '7 bells' in the mornin', shows hiz enthusiasm and commitment! (Unlike wor previous manager who would have still be in bed fast asleep!)

"Good times are aheed", iz the feelin amongst most supporters, but forst we must get oot of the relegation mess that wor previous owner and manager left us in!

It wont be easy, that's for certain, but we must back him 100%, az that iz wot he will give to us!---100% commitment to the cause!

"HOWE-WAY THE LADS!"

*


Wednesday, 10 November 2021

MANZFEEELD 6 THE TOON U21S 3 *** EFL TROPHY

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 10th November 2021

THE TOON ARE IN WOR 'AALL BLACKS' STRIP


*Last neet the Toon's U21s lost 6-3 to Manzfeeeld in the ELF Trophy at Field Mill 

'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' woz there to represent 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' and he sent The Geordie Times a detailed match report! (Most of us didnt gan coz we'd been there before for a Leegue Cup tie back in 1992 (0-0)

Forst half: "2-2"

Full time: "6-3, poor 2nd half"

Blondie Alan

TOON PLAYERS CELEBRATE ONE OF WOR THREE GOALS! 
(WHICH ONE IZ ANYBODY'S GUESS?)


*We looked elsewhere to see the goal sequences:


0-1 We took the lead through in the 5th minute through Dylan Stephenson who shot across their keeper

1-1 Manzfeeeld equalised through a Johnson volley

1-2 The Toon retook the lead in the 23rd minute through Joe White with a side footed effort

2-2 Back came the home side with a shot from O'Toole

HT 2-2

3-2 We went behind for the forst time when Johnson scored hiz 2nd with a fine strike

4-2 Langley in The Toon goal brought doon Langley in the box and up stepped Johnson to complete hiz hat-trick from the spot

5-2 Anothaa Langley foul in the box for anothaa penalty to them.

This time Siclair took it to send Langley the wrang way

5-3 In the 90th minute 17 year old Ndiweni reduced the deficit through a tap in

6-3 2 mins into stoppage time completed the rout when Caine tapped in from close range!

That's 10 games in a row that wor U21s have lost in this competition!----NOTT the result we wanted in NOTTINGHAMSHIRE!

Attendance: 805 includin a few NUFC diehards

Tuesday, 9 November 2021

"HOWE-WAY THE LAD!" (PART 3)

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 9th November 2021



*He's signed at last and he haz got to work straight away, arrivin at the Benton trainin groond just before 7 this mornin'!  

We can anly hope that Eddie's enthusiasm iz transfered and instilled in the players and that we can put a winnin run together, startin' with Brentfaad at SJP a week next Saturday! 



*Eddie Howe wasnt wor forst choice for manager, but ANYBOODY iz better than the last person to be in that roll!----We wont mention who he iz, az he iz history now, az far az we are concerned!


Nee doubt that Eddie arrived orly to see the magnificent 'state of the art' swimming pool that the players have used for the last 14 years, under the previous regime!



*A new and hopefully excitin' chapter will be forthcomin' in the next few years!---We MUST back the new manager and give him a great reception at SJP when he annoonced to the crowd before the Brentfaad game!

"HOWE-WAY THE LAD!"


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