NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS NEWS*** NEW GROOND! *** NEW GROOND!

 Posted '2:55pm bells' Wedinzday 18th August 2021

Updated '2:49pm bells' Thorsday

Liberty Way Stadium, Nuneaton Borough FC

News that NUFCs U23s game away to Bormingham, due to be played at their St. Andrews groond, haz been moved to Nuneaton next Munday!

Providin they let us in? this will be a new groond for The mad-sad groundhoppers!

Updated Thorsday

And indeed on Thorsday we hord the joyous news that fans WILL be admitted!🤪👍

The game kicks off at '7 bells' and wor prayers 🙏 were answered!---Praize the Lord!

THE TOON 2 THE JELLIED EELS MOB OF WEST HAM 4 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 16th August 2021 and updated throughout the day!

"HAMMER HOUSE OF HORRORS!"

Wor forst competitive game with a 50,000 crowd for 18 months didn't bring the result we wanted az 'The Cockney Boys' ran riot in the 2nd half!

NUFC broke the deadlock in the 5th minute when Callum Wilson heeded home at The Leazes End, from a Saint Maximin cross to send the vast majority of the crowd wild with delight!

The lead didnt last very lang az West Ham's Cresswell sent in a cross in the 18th minute, which ended up in the net--and after a lengthy VAR check for offside, the goal woz given!

We retook the lead through Jacob Murphy,  when he heeded in from a Matt Richie cross in the 40th minute!

HT 2-1 up!

The 2nd half woz a different story az West Ham scored 3 times in front of their own fans, 3,000 of them, high up in The Leazes End!

Sloppy defending and slack marking woz this cause for each of the goals, az 'The Hammer Horror show' unfolded in the 53rd minute(Benrhama), 63rd minute(A very dodgy penalty decision, which Woodman saved, but Soucek scored from rebound) plus an Antonio goal az well!(with a great strike in the 66th minute!)

               I give that dive 9.5 points for artistic impression! 

It's the same old, same old story I'm afraid and another winter of discontent looks likely to follow, unless we can get wor midfield and defence sorted oot!

The Jellied Eels Mob: An explanation

Jellied eels were a Cockney delicacy and the above photo iz from a bygone age, of 2 London 'east enders' devouring some Jellied eels! ---Hence wor nickname for their fans: 'The Jellied Eels Mob'

The pre match 'gargels' took place in The Bodega, 5 minutes from SJP, on Westgate Road, which haz just reopened after closure for 18 months due to the pandemic! 

Black n white balloons covered the main entrance for the occasion!

NUFC fans arnt the anly ones who want rid of their owner(s)

*GSB stands for West Ham owners, Gold, Sullivan and Brady

THE TOON V THE JELLIED EELS MOB *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022 *** THIS AFTERNOOON!

 Posted '9:18am bells' Sunday 15th August 2021

News that Joe Willock haz signed a 6 year deal for a reported £25 million, but too late to play against West Ham, reaches us!

It will be great to see a big crowd once again AND 3,000 away fans in The Leazes upper tier! (Kick off '2:00 🔔🛎--live on SKY)

Watchin' games last season in empty souless stadiums, on laptops, mobile phones and on pub 📺tellys woz s*it, especially with canned crowd noise to accompany the crap commentaries!

And for the forst time in ower one and a half years, aa will be sitting in mee own seat, on the Milburn Stand balcony, once again!

Freddie Woodman will be in goal az both Dubravka and Darlow are still crocked, for one reason or another!

It will be interestin to see the players reaction to at least 48,000 fans---the number of tickets sold by Friday!

A full Geordie Times match and pub report, will appear here on Munday!

Az per usual--"Watch this space!"

THE TOON V THE JELLIED EELS MOB OF WEST HAM *** SUNDAY AFTERNOOON!

 Posted '13:13 bells' Friday 13th! August 2021

'The Ronny Gill' (Newcasil Chronicle) haz reported that there are thoosands of tickets unsold for Sunday's Premyaa Leegue opener against West Ham--givin' the impression that at least 20,000 tickets are unsold---and then they say in the next 'breath', that in fact aalmost 4,000 actually remain on sale! (Taak aboot makin a moontain oot of a mole hill!)

And this woz reported on Thorsday, so, with Joe Willock's signin' a 6 year deal---and the fact that wor visitors will have 3,000 fans present in The Leazes upper tier---then there's a very real possibility that there will be a 50,000 crowd  or indeed a 52,000 plus full hoose, to welcome the teams onto the pitch, come Sunday! 

The last game with 50,000 fans present at SJP,  woz 18 months ago, in February 2020 (0-0 v Bornley)

Footnote: Steve Bruce woz asked by a BBC reporter if the there woz "More in the pot!", after the signin' of Joe Willock

"YES!", he replied, "I've got a chicken casserole bubbling away!"🥘

"WHERE THERE'S A 'WILL', THERE'S A WAY!"

 Posted '2:40pm bells' Thorsday 12th August 2021

*News that 21 year old Joe Willock iz heedin North after agreeing porsonal torms, haz reached The Geordie Times!

A £20 million plus deal haz been annoonced and we fink that he iz a great acquisition to the squad and vital in avoidin the lower reaches of the Premyaa Leegue table!

Joe will be the 2nd highest fee we have paid in wor history, behind the £40 million we paid for Joelinton!

Welcome to Tyneside Joe!-- yoo will be a hero to the fans!

LEEGUE CUP 2ND ROOND DRAW TOONEET!

 Posted 'high noon 🔔s' Wedinzday 11th August 2021  

Upated 'midneet 🔔s

The draw for The Leegue Cup 2nd roond at '10:00 bells' tooneet involves NUFC and sadly for the 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' there are nee new groonds to visit from the teams left in the competition's northern section!

Both Fleetwood and Salford have both been eliminated, the anly teams left in the northern section who's groonds we havvint been tee, meeenin that if its an away draw, it will be to a groond that we have previously visited!

However!---aall iz not lost az  Wimbledon, Forest Green, Northampton and Newport are through to the 2nd roond in the southern section of the draw!---

These are 4 groonds still to visit IF THEY get through to the thord roond and WE dee az well!?

'The Geordie Times' will of course tell yoo who we will play, home or away, when the draw iz completed!

Az per usual "Watch this space" from '10:00pm 🔔s' onwards!

Updated 'midneet 🔔s'

IT'S 'THE HILLBILLIES OF BORNLEY' AT SJP

Most probably on Wedinzday 25th August with a '7:45 bells' kick off!? (Cannit see it bein' chozen for live telly)

THE TOON 3 THE CANARY CUSTARD CRUMBLES 0 *** FRIENDLY 2021-2022

 Posted 'high noon 🔔bells' Sunday 8th August 2021

"CUSTARDS CRUMBLE!"

Nohrich owner and celebrity chef Delia Smith iz renounded for hor delicious custard crumbles--(hence wor name for hor team) and we can tell yoo, that hor team 'crumbled' in the 2nd half az The Toon attacked The Gallowgate End!

The forst half wasn't much cop az we attacked the 'near deserted' Leazes End and it woz wor visitors who had the orly chances to take the lead, but were denied by 4th choice keeper Freddie Woodman in The Toon goal!

Former Toon keeper Tim Krul received a great ovation from the Toon fans at The Gallowgate End az he ran oot for the restart.

The 2nd half, like aa say, woz different with the introduction of Saint Max, Dwight Gayle and Jonjo Shelvey!

But it woz wor number 11 Matt Richie  who opened the scorin' in the 55th minute, when he fired home past Tim Krul, to the delight of the smaall crowd, many who hadn't been to see us play since February 2020, when we played hosts to The Bornley Hillbillies in a 0-0 draw before a 50,000 crowd!

Saint Max then bamboozled the Nohrich defence and caused aall sorts of problems for them az we attacked relentlessly!

The 2nd goal wasn't lang in comin' when Dwight Gayle took a through baall from 'Private' Fraser and hit a low shot under Krul's body and into the net in the 74th minute!

The final nail in wor visitors coffin came with 2 minutes left on the clock when  Gayle volleyed home from a Manquillo pass!

A very satisfactory win against a poor Nohrich team sets us up nicely for the visit of 'The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham next Sunday in wor openin' Premyaa Leegue game!

That were chants against wor reluctant owner 'The Fat Controller' to "sell the club!", but suprizingly the fans asked Brucey to "give us a wave!", which he duly did! (There were NEE chants against wor under fire manager!)

Attendance: 20,139 includin aboot 40 or 50 Nohrich diehards in the Leazes/ East Stand corner!

*So this woz the largest crowd to attend SJP for ower one and a half years! (Anly 10,000 were allowed into wor last home game of last season v Sheff U because of the covid restrictions!)

HAPPY FANS LEAVE THE GROOND!

THE TOON V THE CANARY CUSTARD CRUMBLES

 Posted 'high noon bells' 🔔 Friday 7th August 2021

NUFC play wor one and anly home pre season friendly today, when we face Nohrich in a '2:00 🔔s kick off at SJP!

We have nee new players to show off after bein' the anly top flight club not to make a single summer signing (so far!)

Of course Joe Willock's name haz been repeatedly mentioned and we can anly hope that he joins us again, eethaa on loan or that we actually buy him for the reported £20million from 'The Arse'!

Az per usual in these games, up to 22 players could be used at some point by both sides!

A full Geordie Times match report, will appear here on Sunday!

GEORDIE TIMES BREAKIN' NEWS!---ANOTHER FINE 'MESS'!

 Posted '2:01pm bells' Sunday 8th August 2021

NUFC FANS REALITY CHECK!

 Sensational news reaches us that NUFC have finally made a breakthrough in the transfer market!

Steve Bruce thought we were signin' Messi from Barcelona, but got crossed wires and signed the above 'Messy' instead from the kids TV channel on the BBC!

Brucey: "It's very exciting news!--- I am sure he will be a great acquisition to the squad and we can't wait for the forst Premyaa Leegue game against West Ham a week on Sunday! To get someone of Messy's calibre to sign for us, will give us more options up front---it really IZ great news for wor gullible--er!--- sorry!" loyal fans!"

NUFC FANS FANTASY CHECK!   "NO!---NOT THAT MESSI!"

HUBBLE BUBBLE, DOUBLE TROUBLE!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 4th August 2021

              CROFT PARK, BLYTH

Both wor forst team and U23s were in action yesterday and both lost!

The forst team played a 'secret' behind closed doors game at Turf Moor, Burnley and lost 1-0

Aall the 21 players who featured at the 2-0 win at Burton played at some point, plus Jonjo Shelvey who returned from injury!

By aall accounts we were awful and the anly incident of note for us woz when Joelinton hit the bar in the forst half!

Meeenwhile wor U23s/Academy side continued their losin streak when they were well beaten 3-0 at Croft Park by 'The Spartans of Blyth'! (Att 1,148) In total 18 players got a run oot!

After wor U23s 4-1 defeat at Gatesheed, it meenz they have conceded 7 goals in the space of 3 days!

Special thanx to 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' for the pix from Blyth!

And from twitter!