NEVER A DULL MOMENT AT NUFC!

 Posted '1:51pm bells' Friday 5th March 2021

VAR, TREASON AND ARBITRATION!

THE PUNISHMENT FOR TREASON!

Where the hell do we start today? with loads of news aboot different things that effect NUFC to fill these pages!

Forst of aall, VAR has been a blessing in disguise az far az NUFC are concerned!

For 2 games in a row Fat Sam's West Brom have been denied 2 porfectly good goals by VAR decisions!  (Costing them 4 points) The same gans for Fulim, who last neet were denied an equaliser v Spoz and lost 1-0!

And dont forget aboot the dodgy penalty WE got at Sporz in injury time to steal a point!

And then there's Bruce sayin someone in the camp has committed treason by leaking reports to the media about the argument with Matt Ritchie and the lack of trainin'!

Finally!  NUFC have lost the appeal to get the chairman of the takeover arbitration panel  removed, as he gave some advice to the Premyaa Leegue in 2017!

Its 'aall go' at The Toon---never a dull moment---for sure!

ONLY AT THE NUFC COMEDY CLUB!🥳

 Posted '1:20am bells' Thorsday 4th March 2021

News from The Daily Mail that a massive bust up between Matt Richie and 'In Denial' Bruce, happened at the trainin groond on Tuesday, when Richie caalled Bruce a coward for blaming him for not passing instructions on, which led to Wolves equaliser last Saturday neet!

Bruce then barged Richie in retaliation, which amazed and shocked the other players present! 

Bruce said to him, "After all I have done for you!", in which Richie replied, "You've done F*CK ALL for me!"

Many players are unhappy that Bruce iz naming and shaming them in public and not doin' it behind closed doors!

Goalie Karl Darlow anly foond oot he woz dropped in a newspaper report, 2 days before the Wolves game, az Bruce publicly blamed him for one of the goals in the defeat at Man U!

Something will have to give very soon or else aall anarchy will break loose!

"Are yoo listening Fat Controller? Are yoo listening Penfold?"

      This statement packs                some punch!🤜

Footnote: Fulim play Sporz this evenin' and a win for them will drop NUFC into the bottom 3!😳

Updated '8:40pm bells

Both Fulim and WBA lost thanks to VAR

It's up to us now to beat WBA on Sunday!---but will we???

2 MORE CROCKED!

 Posted 3:05pm bells Tuesday 2nd March 2021

Az feared both Saint Max with a groin strain and Almiron with a knee ligament  injury will be oot for 6 weeks!

That meenz that alang with Callum Wilson, we will have 3 key players oot, lang term!

This seems to be a common feature with teams that Bruce haz managed and yoo can hear the excuses aalready should we not win at West Brom on Sunday!

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY WE PLAYED BORNLEY *** THE LAST TIME WE WERE INSIDE SJP!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 1st March 2021

1 year ago today, on the 29th February 2020 (anly 28 days in February 2021, so 1st March iz 1 year to the day!) we played Bornley at St. James' Park in a borin' nil-nil draw!

Little did we realise, that, that would be the last time we would be able to attend a home game, az soon after this 'The bat out of hell virus' shut everything doon!---and here we are 366 days later and still we cannit get in!

A match report on that game iz printed below!

1 YEAR AND COONTIN'!

1 year ago Bruce made these comments after the game!

Spot the difference a year on?

THE TOON 0 THE BORNLEY HILLBILLIES 0 **** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '10:37pm bells' Saturday 29th February 2020
Will be updated sometime on Sunday!

VIEW FROM THE MILBURN STAND BALCONY

"WE CAN ANLY SAVE WORSELS!"

A chaotic weekend (up til now!) meenz that despite a goalless draw and a point against 'The Hillbillies' of Bornley this afternoon, unexpected results elsewhere meenz that we are now closer to the bottom 3 than we were on Friday afternoon!

This iz because bottom club Nohrich beat 3rd placed Lestaa at Carrow Road on Friday neet, West Ham won 3-1 against Sooothampton today, and relegation threatened Wotfaad beat undefeated champions elect Liverpoool 3-0 at Vicarage Road this evenin'!----Who could have predicted that??? 

On Friday afternoon NUFC were 7 points clear of 3rd bottom----but now we are just 5 points above 'the abyss' with just ONE win in the last TEN Premyaa Leegue games!

Wor 4th consecutive 'blank' meenz that we are now the lowest goalscorers in the 'top flight' with just 24 goals from 28 games!!!

Wot a sad state of affairs for a club that were dubbed 'The Entertainers' not so lang ago!

Reeely, we shud have won this game, but for poor finishin', NUFC couldn't 'finish off' a team who had most definitely come for a bore draw and a point to take back to 'Hillbillieland in deepest Lancashire!!
Matt Ritchie had chances to 'win it', but several blocks of shots and a last minute attempt where he shud have scored at The Leazes End came to nothin', az we went 360 minutes withoot a goal in The Premyaa Leegue! (accordin' to the 'stats' NUFC had 20 shots on goal aaltogether, with not one gannin in!)  A slightly better performance than the last few games---but NEE goals again!
  52,000 plus had came for this game (allegedly!)---that's 2,000 Bornley fans in 'level 7' of The Leazes End, anothaa 10,000 'freebee' Toon fans, plus 40,000 Toon fans who had actually paid to watch this game, which will surely be last on 'Match of the Day' again! (2nd last actually!)

Wor 'beloved'? owner 'The Fat Controller' woz missin' from hiz seat in the directors box yet again, leavin' the rest of us to suffer the dreadful 'misfirin' fare' on the pitch!-----We can anly save worsels and NOT rely on othaa teams losin', if we are to avoid the 'dreaded drop'!

OH for a 'number 9' like £15 million poond Alan Shearer, who scored 206 goals for NUFC----unlike wor current £40 million poond 'number 9', who haz scored a paltry ONE goal in 28 Premyaa Leegue appearences this season! (He played much deeper 'on the left', than usual today, az 'Broken Nose Bruce' put Dwight Gayle up front!)

FANS BANNER AGAINST 'THE FAT CONTROLLER' BEFORE THE MATCH!

THE SAME BANNER ON 'ANT AND DEC'S SATURDAY NEET SHOW' ON THE TELLY!

Toon team line ups and more pix tomorrow! (when we can be bothered!?)

NEXT DAY! '9:43am bells'
Toon team: Dubravka, Manquillo, Fernandez, Lascelles, Rose, Almiron, Hayden, Shelvey, Ritchie, Gayle, Joelinton (Saint-Maximin 78)

Attendance: 52,219 (2,000 'Hillbillies')
This woz the 'alledged' attendance, but there were loads of empty seats and we know of fans who couldn't GIVE spare tickets away!

*

GLENN ROEDER RIP

 Posted '7:45pm bells' Sunday 28th February 2021

Very sad news reaches us that former NUFC captain and manager Glenn Roeder haz passed away today!

Glenn, who came from Woodford in Essex, loved the Geordies and we loved him!

RIP GLENN!

FEAST OR FAMINE!?

 Posted '5:03pm bells' Sunday 28th February 2021

LET'S HOPE FAT SAM DOESN'T RUIN BRUCEY'S SUNDAY DINNAA NEXT WEEK!

WE fully expected that 'in form' Fulim would beat Palace today, but a borin' 0-0 draw woz the outcome (couldn't bear to watch!), meanin' that wor 1-1 draw v Wolves yesterday wasn't that bad after aall! (still a 3 point gap!)

Of course, injuries to key players like Almiron and Saint Max divvint help wor cause, but we must 'plod on' and hope to pick up at least 9 points before the season's end,to stave off the threat of relegation!

Steve 'I'm in denial' Bruce haz said that 6 or 7 teams are in the relegation mix, and for once he is REET!

From bottom upwards there are Sheff U, WBA, Fulim, NUFC, Brightin, Bornley and Soothampton, <who are in 'freefall' with 6 defeats and 1 draw oot of the last 7 played! (They actually went 'top', when they beat us at their place in November!)

Bornley's 4-0 defeat at Sporz today iz another plus point, but at the end of the day we must win some games against relegation opposition in the comin' weeks (WBA, Brightin and Bornley), before we play some of the 'big hitters' in succesive games in April and May. (Liverpoool, The Arse, Lestaa and Man City!)

Fat Sam's West Brom are next up at The Hawthorns a week today at 'high noon bells', so lets hope and pray that he doesn't ruin Brucey's (and wor!) Sunday dinnaazz!  

THE TOON v WOLVERHAMPTON WANABEEZ *** TOONEET AT '8:00 BELLS'

 Posted from '7:00pm bells' onwards, Saturday 27th February 2021

"IT'S THE ACCUMULATION OF POINTS, WE HAVE TO GET OVER THE LINE!"  (Guess who said this orlier today in hiz press conference?) 🤡🌻🌻🌻

Anothaa must win, must win, game---coz if we divvint and Fulim win at Palace tomorrow NUFC cud drop into the bottom 3!

Desperate times at NE1 !

Incidents and any goals az they happen will be online below ASAP

PS: Just been to Aldi for some 'Dog' (Newcasil Broon Ale) for the pre match 'gargels' in mee dinin' room! 6 bottles for £8.34! (£24 in Strawberry next to SJP!)

"HOWAY THE LADS!"(hic!)

And just when yoo fink that this 'Comedy Club' couldn't get any crazier!🤡

The lunatics are runnin' the NUFC asylum!

THE FLOODLIGHTS ARE ON! (PHOTO TAKEN FROM GEORDIE TIMES HQ @ '7:45 BELLS')

*SPOT THE DAFFODILS!

*11th minute   Almiron hits the post at The Leazes End

25th minute  Saint Max scores but goal is disallowed!

HT 0-0  possession 55%  shots on target 4

Better performance and more fight than of late!

*GOAL! LASCELLES HEEDER! 53RD MINUTE 1-0 UP!

Oh no Saint Max injured 60th minute!

goal to wolves 72nd minute Nevis!

FT 1-1  loads more injuries, it feels that fate is against us!

GAMBLERS *AUTONIMOUS!

 Posted '00:50am bells' (onwards!) Friday 26th February 2021

A NEW BANNER HAZ APPEARED ON BARRACK ROAD LATE LAST NEET FROM 'WOR FLAGS'!

*'Autonimous' meaning: A person or entity that is self controlling and not governed by outside forces!

In the Friday news conference, Steve 'I'm in denial' Bruce said that it woz doon to the players and NOT him for this terrible run of results!

ie: "Don't blame me!"

        🌻 🌻 🌻 🌻 🌻 🌻 🌻

We have won just 2 games oot of the last 16 and wor game v Wolves tomorrow takes on new pressure, az defeat and a Fulim win on Sunday at Palace, will plunge us into the relegation zone!

Lets hope and pray that this isn't the case and that we can somehow beat wor opponents from the west Midlands, az we watch on from wor livin' rooms and bedrooms! (And a Palace win of course!)

ONE shot on target in the 95th minute from a Jacob Murphy free kick (above), woz wor anly shot of the game at Wolves in the 1-1 draw and we had nee shots at aall from open play!

A MESSAGE OF HOPE!?

Like we say!---it's SO frustratin' not to be in the groond and end up shoutin' at wor tellys and laptops az we watch on!

If anly we could be there to cheer the team on and support them in this difficult time!

Nee doubt that Bruce would get loads of stick az well, if fans were allowed back in!

Tomorrow's game will be the 41st game in a row that we have missed---and very nearly a year haz passed since we last attended a game at SJP!

(29th February 2020 v Bornley in a nil-nil draw! (Wot else!)

BLOODY HELL! IT'S AALL WOR FAULT OF COURSE, EVEN THOUGH WE HAVVINT BEEN ALLOWED INTO THE GROONDS FOR AALMOST A YEAR!

Updated '10:00pm bells' Friday

Latest news: Goalie Karl Darlow finds oot he haz been dropped  for the Wolves game in a newspaper on Thorsday!

Academy director Joe Joyce iz stood doon after his wife complained aboot the treatment of their son while he played for NUFC U18s!

MORE TELLY TIMES!

 Posted '10:43am bells' Thorsday 25th February 2021

The telly, phone and laptop times for 'Mad March' have been released!

This iz the month that will decide wor destiny!

Conformed upcomin fixtures

Saturday 27th February,  Wolverhampton Wanabeez, SJP, '8:00 bells' (On Sky and dodgy channels!☠)

Sunday 7th March,  The Baggie Troosers of WBA, away, 'high noon bells' (On Prime and dodgy channels!☠)

Friday 12th March, The Hazbeenz & Villans, SJP, '8:00 bells' (On BT and dodgy channels!☠)

Saturday 20th March, Nee Where Near Brightin, away, '8:00 bells' (On Sky and dodgy channels!☠)

A preview of wor 'must (must!) win game' v Wolves on Saturday neet, will  appear here sometime tomorrow!

Az usual The Geordie Times will be laptophopping☠ again!