This website iz dedecated to the Newcastle United groundhoppers who follow the fortunes of the team aroond the world (and beyond!) The ground totals include competitive and friendly forst team, resorve team, junior team and Newcastle United X1 games that 'the mad-sad groundhopper' has attended, aall for Newcastle United games only, in the last SEVEN decades*** cheers!***'Fink' (the mad-sad groundhopper!)***last count 379 (380 inc Motspur Park outside)
Posted '6:00pm bells' Tuesday 9th February 2021
The Highways Agency have been busy erecting new signposts with directions to futbaall groonds in the north east!🤪👍
Latest futbaall results:
Premyaa Leegue
The Toon 3
Sooothampton 2
Leegue One
TheMighty Shrewsbury 2
sund'lind 1
Posted '10:35am bells' Tuesday 9th February 2021
Just how many points will be needed to avoid relegation iz the big talkin point ower the weekend! Aall the results for team below NUFC were kind to us and we are now 10 points above the drop zone with 15 games to play!
It's fair to say that if we averaged a point a game from now til the end of the season, we would end up with 40 points, which would be more than enough for survival this season!
Indeed if the projected points total of teams below us on their current average, are correct, then anly TWO more points would be needed, az 3rd bottom Fulim are on course to collect 26 points in total, just ONE more than we have now!
Projected points totals after 38 games
17th Bornley are averaging 1.04 points per game so far
If they keep the same average up they will end up with
39/40 points after 38 games
18th Fulim are averaging 0.68 points per game so far
If they keep the same average up they will end up with
26 points after 38 games
19th Fat Sam's WBA are averaging 0.52 points per game so far
If they keep the same average up they will end up with
20 points after 38 games
20th Sheff U are averaging 0.47 points per game so far
If they keep the same average up they will end up with
18 points after 38 games
NUFC, who are in 16th place in the table are averaging 1.08 points per game so far
If we keep the same average up we will end up with
41 points after 38 games (az will Brightin, who are on the same number of points)
Hopefully we will survive and play another season in the top fight with 'new owners' in charge! (PLEEEEZE GOD!🙏)
If we do gan doon, then any takeower deals will more than likely be 'off' and we will be stuck with 'The Fat Controller' once again!---and yet another relegation battle!
It doesnt bear 'finkin' aboot---does it!
Posted '9:00am bells' Munday 8th February 2021
Manquillo aalso suffered a bad ankle injury, while wor top goalscorer Callum Wilson pulled his hamstring and aall 3 took no forthaa part in the game, played in monsoon conditions!
We wish aall of them a speedy recovery in this bizarre and crazy season, az we watch on from wor homes and local pubs! (when they are open, that iz!)
"GET WELL SOON, LADS!"
Posted '6:30pm bells' Sunday 7th February 2021
JUmPiNg tHe gUN!
In the dead of night on Friday ootside St. James' Park, 2 SMBs held a crude home made banner, mockin' us---Az if they could, in their predicament!
They thought we would lose to Sooothampton and slide closer to the relegation zone, but of course we won 3-2 with 9 men, while they dropped 2 points at the mighty MK Don's to slide doon to mid table in the Mickey Mouse Leegue 1 table!
In othaa words their stunt had backfired badly az NUFC moved 10 points clear of Fulim in 3rd bottom place, while the mighty Lincoln City moved 10 points clear of them in the Mickey Mouse Leegue!
They cannot even sppell properly! Higher a lower case letters in BRuCey and an apostrophe in MAKEM'S which should be sppellt MACKEMS with a 'C' in the middle!
Thick as pigs sh*t!🐷
And 'pride of the north' at the bottom of the banner! For God's sake have a look at the Premyaa Leegue table and see if there's a north east team in it, that is 35 place above! Even the Smoggies of Middlesbrough are 24 places higher than them in The Championship!
They must have went to skuwl in pEnNyweLL!
Posted 'midneet bells' Sunday 007 February 2021
He says mee critisism of Steve Bruce iz unfair and that he hasn't stood a chance with the injuries and covid illnesses that have enveloped the club! (ie: He's been made a 'scapegoat' and hung oot to dry!)
Fair enough!---but it's hiz tactics and crazy comments that get me!----not the players inability to carry hiz instructions oot!
He iz---in effect---the club spokesman az well!--- Az wor absent ower and MD seem to have vanished into thin air!
Defend, defend, against bottom club Sheff Utd and lose 1-0, when we should have 'went for the jugular' and attacked them from 'the off'---and the next game, attack, attack, against Arsenal, when we should have defended against an attack minded side---and lost 3-0!
Yesterday's 3-2 win v Sooothampton at SJP, with just 9 men in the torrential rain, woz 'heroic' and I am certain that if this game had taken place in December, we would have lost, az the players confidence then, woz at an aall time low!
Dave (from York) reckons that it woz Bruce who appointed coach Graeme Jones and IF that iz true, (but we have wor doubts!) then it's been an inspired appointment, az he haz been a breath of fresh air since hiz arrival!
Hiz so caalled 'diamond system' haz seen us take 6 points from the 3 games he haz been here---and we have scored 6 goals in the process---more goals than we scored in the previous 11 games!(5)
Diamond (formations!) are forever!----lets hope so!♦️
Cheers!
Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper!) who hasn't 'ground-hopped' to a new groond for a Toon game, for ower a year! (Rochdale, January 2020)
FOOTNOTE:THE NUMBERS GAME
4 the 2nd time in 4 days Sooothampton have been beaten by 9!
When they beat us 2-0 at their place in November they went to the top of the Premyaa Leegue----they are now just 4 points above us!
Posted from '1:11am 'bells' onwards, Saturday 6th February 2021
"LETS KEEP THE MOMENTUM GOING!" (Steve Bruce)
Wor beloved? manager/club spokesman 'Broken Nose Bruce' said that comments were completely untrue that new coach Graeme Jones will take ower the reigns if he iz sacked, and that he woz puttin the rumours "to bed", full stop!
Yet anothaa 'must win game' today, against a Sooothampton team who lost 9-0 to Moan U in midweek!
However! Bruce will probably play 5 at the back and hope for a breakaway goal or 2 to win the game!
He said he woz "pleased!" with wor performance on Tuesday?
PLEASED? to lose 2-1 at home to a very mediocre Cristill Palliss team. *Iz he takin the p*ss oot of us, in revenge for posts on social media and in the press??? (Thought he didnt read them, but he's aalways complaining aboot negative Twitter comments etc from fans!
But wot does he expect with dire performances recently? (apart from Evaatin, when new coach Graeme Jones bellowed instructions from the dugoot, while Bruce looked on furious that he had stolen his thunder!)
ONE win in THORTEEN games and THREE losses in succession at home, divvint give yoo confidence for this afternooon!
⬇️THE MOMENTUM?⬇️
Its relegation form for certain and we can anly hope (and pray!)🙏 that Jones isn't banished to the stand, or the back row seats in the dugoot today!(or even his own bed, of course!)
BRUCE'S 'WHITE FLAG' EXCUSES PRE MATCH!
Shud we not win, then Bruce haz aalready got aall hiz ready made excuses in, in his Friday press conference, az he says that 4 to 5 defenders are unavailable!
Aalso in the press conference, he woz asked just who wud fill the 25th slot in the playin squad, as he failed to bring in more players on transfor deadline day! (See Twitter below!)
A full Geordie Times, minute by minute goal or incident reports will appear here live from wor laptop at HQ az they happen!
Watch this space for updates from '2:00 bells' onwards, when the team line ups will be revealed ('3:00 bells' kick off!)
*Like we say, let's hope against hope that we can play like we did at Evaatin and get a good result!🙏The Geordie Times iz praying that we can! (Like we aalways dee!)
*
*15th minute GOAL TO TOON!
NEW BOY WILLOCK WITH A SHOT FROM ST MAX CROSS!
25th minute GOAL TO TOON!
DEFLECTED GOAL FROM ALMIRON SHOT!
29th minute goal fo Sooothampton
2-1 to us!
*45 plus 3 GOAL ALMIRON AFTER A MISSTAYK BY THEIR GOALIE 3-1 TO US HALF TIME!
NUFC 32% possession 1st half 4 shots on target 3goals!
This equals wor highest total this season 3 v Bornley!
*
*46th minute bad miss by Shelvey with goal gaping!
*47th minute goal for Sooothampton free kick
3-2 to us
49th minute Hendrick sent off 2nd yellow for stupid shirt pull!
Toon doon to 10!
Torrential rain hits Tyneside!
62nd minute ings shot rebounds off post into Darlow's arms!
73rd minute Schar fans doon after disastrous free kick from him. NUFC have used all subs and so we are doon to 9 men!
FT WON 3-2 SOMEHOW!🤪👍 20% possession 2nd half!
We are 11 points above the drop zone---for now!
'The Geordie Times' never doubted SIR Steve for one second! ----HONEST!
Posted '2:28am bells' Friday 5th February 2021
"Oh why am I so stupid?"
FOOL'S GOLD!
NUFC's £40 million pound 'super striker'? Joelinton has been fined £200 for gannin to a barber's in Heaton for hiz haircut, durin the lockdoon---which anly came to light when he stupidly posted a picture on Instagram, of the barber cutting his hair!
Just how he iz able to afford to pay this oot of his £79,000 a week wages, is anybody's guess? Wor hearts bleed for him! (The Geordie Times iz seriously 'finkin' aboot having a whiproond to help him pay his fine!) (NOT!)
Meeenwhile! Wor beloved? manager, Broken Nose Bruce iz on £57,000 a week, not bad for a tactical genius?, who has won just once in wor last 13 games, as we nosedive towards oblivion!
The question is, how could wor reluctant owner 'The Fat Controller', (who iz normally az tight az a fishes arse!), get it SO wrang, to pay SO much for these complete failures on and off the pitch!? (And not for the first time, of course!)
Money doon the drain!--for a 'fool' and a 'pain'!
Posted '1:50am bells' Wedinzday 3rd February 2021
NORMAL SERVICE RESUMED!
With new coach Graeme Jones banished to the stands for long periods of the game, it woz left to Broken Nose Bruce to coach? from the touchline in torrential rain--with predictable results!
We had a heed start az well, when Shelvey put us in front in the 2nd minute-- but just 25 minutes later we were 2-1 behind and never recovered!
That's just one win in thirteen games now--and six losses at home oot of eleven in the Premyaa Leegue this season!-and Bruce iz somehow still in the job!
We have been sucked well and truly into the relegation battle, while teams aroond us have games in hand!
After the 'high' of the win at Evaatin, normal service has returned to bite us on the arse!
Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 2nd February 2021
Tooneet 'the champions of Europe' (NUFC, accordin' to Bruce!) take of Cristill Palliss at SJP, with an '8:15 bells' kick off! (See above for explanation!)
News that Bruce isnt happy with his new coach iz obvious by his body language at yesterday's press conference, when he gave a sarcastic grin and said Graeme Jones woz an "inspired choice!"
Obviously NOT 'his choice' as he had previously said!
We can anly hope that we put up a similar show to the Evertin 2-0 win on Saturday!
We welcome new loan signin Joe Willick to the fold---wor anly new face in the transfor window! (Signed too late to play tooneet!)
NUFC had attempted to sign at least EIGHT othaaz, but aall the deals fell through for one reason or anothaa!
A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Wedinzday
Az per usual "Watch this space!"
Posted '12:45pm bells' Sunday 31st January 2021
EVAATIN 0 DADS ARMY 2 ('Sergeant' Wilson, 2) (who else?)
Jones, Wilson and Fraser aall made contributions in this excellent performance---the best for many a month!
New coach 'Corporal' Jones organized the team into a well oiled machine, az the 'new' Newcasil controlled the show at Goodison Park!
Great performances from 'Private' Fraser and 'Sergeant' Wilson, who scored the 2 goals to seal the victory, meant that NUFC moved 8 points clear of the relegation zone!
A totally unexpected victory after 11 successive winless games, woz doon to the tactics of Jones, who never stopped shoutin' instructions from the away dugoot, az Bruce and hiz othaa coaches looked on perplext!
At the end of the game, Jones rushed onto the pitch to hug Wilson, while Bruce walked past, seemingly disinterested! See the 2 videos we 'nicked' off Twitter (above and below!) to see what we mean!
Next up iz a home game v Cristil Palliss on Tuesday, when we can anly hope that Jonesy's 'magic' iz not 'a one off' and can help us win that game az well!?---This is NUFC and anything can happen!---we shall soon find oot!
This iz wor 'take' on the current situation at NUFC:
The NUFC 'reluctant' owner: 'The Fat Controller' doesn't speak!
The NUFC 'puppet' MD: 'Penfold' doesn't speak!
The NUFC main coaching post, it seems, haz been given to new boy Graeme Jones, who did an excellent job yesterday! (although Bruce won't admit it!)
The NUFC spokesman: This task, it seems, iz now left to 'Broken Nose Bruce' to speak utter garbage like "It iz what it iz!" and "We are where we are!" to give just 2 examples!
Geordie times comment: This iz where we are! and it iz what it iz!, if yoo see where we are comin' from!? ("HELP!" these nonsense phrases are catchin' on!")
Update '4:05' pm bells'
Bornley lost 2-0 orlier on at Chelski and so NUFC move up one place above them on goals scored to 15th position in the table with 22 points from 21 games! (By wor reckonin' we need to average just under a point a game to stay up, so 38 points shud be wor target!----16 points to gan from 17 games!)
Update: '10:00 pm bells'
Brightin beat Sporz 1-0 to move within a point of us!
Good job we won yesterday or else we would be 4th bottom now!
Got to keep the momentum gannin' v Palliss on Tuesday at SJP!
