THE END GAME?

Posted '12:44pm bells' Friday 15th May 2020
Updated '1:35pm bells'

Today is said to be the day that exclusivity for the Saudi takeower group ends!

So a decision is surely forthcomin' soon after yet more spanners were 'hoyed into the NUFC works' by 2 Tory MPs durin the week, demandin' that the takeower shud be rejected!

Take a look at the top photo which shows talks between the UK and Saudis aboot billion pound trade deals from the UK to Saudi Arabia!

It reely iz double standards if we can trade freely with them but not allow the takeower to happen!

Don't forget that those who object will have expensive cars, which need to be filled up with petrol every now and again!
And quite a bit of that petrol exported to the UK comes from the Saudi oil fields!

Are these protesters not gannin to fill their cars up when their tanks run low?
We 'fink' not!---another case of double standards!

It seems incredible to us Toon fans that they can try and scupper wor deal, while they are happy to sell arms and buy petrol from them!

Let's hope everybody sees sense and passes the deal--or else the massive recession forecast from the 'bat out of hell's corona virus will get much, much worse if the Saudis sever links with the UK!

Like we say the deadline for the takeower talks has reached 'the end game' and so sommik MUST happen very, very soon!

Updated '1:35pm bells'
Some encouragin news haz just reached The Geordie Times from Mal the Inglish Skoool Teechaa! (Hiz sppellin'--not wors!)

"WHY'S EVERYBODY ALWAYS PICKIN' ON ME!???"

Posted '1:57am bells' Thorsday 14th May 2020

The fiancee of Jamal Khashoggi has pleaded with Toon fans to stop the takeower of NUFC by Crown prince Mohammad bin Salam, in a passionate letter sent to aall the British media!

It's terrible wot happened to her future husband, but it wasnt 'us' who sold the club to the Saudis---it woz wor owner 'The Fat Controller', who took the £300 million quid and who seems to have escaped 'scott free' from any criticism whatsoever, while the Toon fans somehow get the blame and the backlash from the TV and press etc!???

Below is a tweet in reply to hor letter from the nufc360s twitter feed, which sums it up perfectly, from a Toon fans point of view!

Meanwhile, a letter from Jamal Khashoggi's son Salah, paints a completely different picture!

Like we say, 'we' the fans have got no 'say' whatsoever, who wor club is sold to!----So why pick on 'us'???----We're not politicians!---We're futbaall fans! 

And don't forget, Prince Salam has denied any wrong doing in the sordid affair, while the alleged perpetrators are in prison, awaitin' trial!

And from a fans point of view, apart from that, he haz aalso been foond not guilty of TV piracy by a French court last year---and 'not guilty' (in wor eyes), meenz NOT GUILTY!---Plus 97% of Toon fans desperately want this takeower to happen, az does 'The Geordie Times'!

YET MORE SPANNERS HOYED INTO THE WORKS!

Posted '3:22pm bells' Tuesday 12th May 2020

Just when we thought that the takeower by the 'Saudi's Public Investment Fund' woz nearly ower the line, yet more spanners has been hoyed into the works! (the 125th and 126th at the last coont!)

In a last gasp attempt to stop the takeower, fresh legal documents have been submitted to Premyaa Leegue, which, it is claimed, provide evidence of a link between the Saudi state and illegal streamin' of sport in the country!

Sauces say that this will forthaa delay the takeower, which has been painfully dragging on for 5 weeks now!
It is now likely that this will gan into a SIXTH WEEK of the most protracted, drawn oot takeower in the history of the univorse!

Az per usual! "Watch this space!"---for at least one more week!" "ZZZZZzzzzz!"

PS: We hear that 'The Fat Controller' iz annoyed at the delay az well and expected the takeower to be completed 2 weeks ago!
But not half az annoyed az we are with hiz 13 years in charge!!!

"SPOT THE DIFFERENCE!???"

Posted '5:30pm bells' Munday 11th May 2020

If ever there woz a reason to see the back of 'The Fat Controller', then these pictures of some Premyaa Leegue trainin' groond swimmin' pools, will give you the unequivocal answer!

EVERY PICTURE TELLS A STORY!

Man United trainin' groond 

swimmin' pool!

Liverpoool trainin' groond

swimmin' pool!

Man City trainin' groond 

swimmin' pool!

NEWCASIL UNITED TRAININ' GROOND

SWIMMIN' POOL!!!

"NO EXPENSE SPARED BY 

'THE FAT CONTROLLER', HERE!!!

(Social distancin' a non starter!)

"THE FINAL COONTDOON!!

Posted '7:30pm bells' Sunday 10th May 2020

It iz now nearly one month since 'The Geordie Times' foond oot from 'Sky Sports news' that NUFC were aboot to be taken ower by a Saudi prince!
Since then and every single day, we have been bombarded with positives and negatives from the telly, the papers, twitter, facebook etc.etc.---az to IF and WHEN the takeower will eventually happen!

We have now reached the stage where an announcement MUST be forthcomin', az the consortium to buy wor great club have got til the middle of May to complete the deal-----the middle of May, with 31 days in the month, iz eethaa Friday the 15th May or Saturday 16th May, next week!
Despite receivin' numerous reports that the deal woz to be  completed by LAST Friday at the latest--(which didn't happen of course!), we are left to sweat til the end of NEXT week, when surely the runaway train will finally reach it's destination at 'The Central Station' and NOT hit the buffers and derail! (so to speak!)

THE SAUDI TRAIN *** FULL OF GOLD BARS!

Yet again we wait with trepidation for the end of the langest ever protracted takeower saga in futbaall history!

AZ per usual: "Watch this space for the next six days!"

"THIEVES--THIEVES--TRAMPS AND THIEVES!"

Posted '2:55pm bells' Sunday 10th May 2020

While the NUFC takeower gathers at pace, news reaches us from mackemland that sund'lind fans are far from happy with their owner 'Donald the Duck-Egg', who apparently used their £25 million parachute payment to buy the club off Ellis Shortarse!

A £20.5 million 'black hole' has been foond in their accounts, which has stopped Michael Dell the 25th richest man in the world, from buying them for £35 million! (Nearly one tenth of NUFCs purchase price!)
Donald has responded to the angry criticism with the followin' statement!

*

GROUNDHOPPERS ARCHIVE *** DOCTOR PITT WELFARE GROOND, BEDLINGTON

Posted '2:44pm bells' Saturday 9th May 2020

Thiz archive groond report from just before Xmas 1996 iz in complete contrast to wor last archive report from The San Siro Stadium in glamourous Milan, for a Champions Leegue game!

This time its to the shabby Northumberland pit village of Bedlington, when NUFCs second string took on Bedlington Terriers in 'The Northumberland Senior Cup'!
(Match report below)  

PS: Today we shud have been at wor away game at Brightin!
Instead I'm sitting on mee front drive with mee 2 'dogs' (Newcasil Broon Ale and a dog caalled 'Brewdog'!  (Wot else!)

149 doctor pit welfare park bedlington terriers

(GROUND NUMBER 149)

Date of First Visit: 21st DECEMBER 1996

DOCTOR PITT WELFARE PARK, BEDLINGTON



BEDLINGTON TERRIERS 2

NEWCASTLE UNITED RESERVES 0



NORTHUMBERLAND SENIOR CUP

ATTENDANCE 1,500 (Estimated) (1,200 Toon fans)




"SEND FOR THE DOCTOR!"---"WE'VE GONE TO THE DOGS!!"

On wor arrival in the toon centre wih heeded straight for the 'Northumberland Arms' on the corner of the High Street for the forst 'Arthur Scargills'. Then!--- it was off tih the 'Barrington Arms' next door for some more of the 'golden liquid' before heedin' towards the groond which was just doon the road.

Az it torned oot we still had a canny bit time before kick off, az wih wrangly thought it was a 'seven bells' start, when in fact it was  'seven thorty bells'!---SO! (az yih dee!) wih heeded for the appropriatly named 'Bedlington Terrier' for the last gargels (a bottle of 'DOG'! would you believe?)(wot else!) before heedin' for the tornstiles!

BUT!---be warned!----it's a 'canny hike' from the 'Barrington' to the 'Bedlington' (Aboot twenty mins az the drunken magpie staggaz!)



The queues were a canny size az wih approached the tornstiles and wih made it with just seconds tih spare! (pleeze note---'The Undertaker' had 'opted oot' of gannin' for the 'last drinks' and he was in the groond hiz normal half hour before the start!)

Tih be honest----ah half expected 'Deputy Dawg' tih run oot in front of the Bedlington team az club mascot, with, 'Who let the dogs out!' blastin' from the loudspeakers, but!--- aall we got was a couple of 'little sprogs' leadin' them oot ontih the pitch dressed in the red of the 'Terriers'!

Tih enter intih the 'christmas spirit', many of their fans sported the 'obligitory' 'santa hats' az yid expect at this time of the year. (It was anly fower days tih gan before the 'White Bearded Gadgie' and his sidekick, 'Red Nose Rudolph' would pay us their annual visit!) (WHICH! reminds me santa!---NOT! another pair of f***** socks!------PLEEZE!)



"THE ANORAKS!"

Anyway!---the groond was NOT! what ah expected for a club of Bedlington's  stature and it was more like a glorified dog kennel than a futbaall groond! (sic!) (aye!--it gets worse does'nt it?) although this was'nt mee forst ever visit tih 'Doctor Pitts'!. This had happened the year before when me and 'Glen from Ashington' decided tih tek in one of the groonds on the 'Northern League groundhop' at Easter, where groundhoppers get the chance tih see THREE! games a day over the lang weekend, with staggered kick off times.


WE went oot of curiousity AND because the Toon had a free Saturday and wornt playin'---AND (of course!) for a few 'Arthur Scargills' az well!

Once they've visited a new groond some of the groundhoppers (or 'anoraks' az many like to be known) refuse tih gan back to that groond and tick it off their list, never tih darken it's tornstiles again! 


One had a clipboard and everytime the baall went oot for a throw in, corner, or goal kick, he would tick it off! (if THIS is'nt sad----then WHAT F***** IZ!?). Another said he would'nt include the groond unless he touched the match baall!, and another likewise, unless he did a full circle of the pitch!

There was even a guy from Holland who had made the pilgrimage---complete with a pair of CLOGS!


Bedlington were playin' RTM Newcastle that day (nuw 'Newcastle Blue Star') and won two-nowt in front of 555 enthusiastic groundhoppers/anoraks.


After the match, which had kicked off at twelve bells wih decided tih gan tih the Toon for the afternoon session. The anoraks had a double decker bus tih tek them tih Washington which was their next port of caall, so wih cadged a lift off them az they were passin' Newcastle on the way.



HOWEVER!----the bus heeded straight doon the 'A19' and went through---- 'THE TYNE TUNNEL'!--- and we could'nt get off!---and made straight for Washington!

(SO!---az yih dee!) wih ended up watchin' THAT f***** match in aall!---and tih this day, this iz the ANLY time a'v been to a match, which ah neva intended gannin tee!


ENOUGH OF THAT!----lets get back tih WOR game at the 'Doctors surgery'!

The pitch waz just a sea of mud and waz SO! bumpy it looked more like a motor bike scramblin' track than a futbaall pitch!----indeed, everythin' aboot the groond waz disjointed and the goal at the 'Clubhoose End' waz aboot a foot lower at one end than the otha!, such waz the slope of the pitch at this end!   (a'm mekin' theeze 'excuses' up NOW, az the Toon's resorves torned in a c*** performance!)

Even the telegraph poles and a lamp post with nettin' attached tih stop the baall endin' up in some wifey's front garden, were at an 'angle' and two were SO crooked, it looked az though they might faall onto the pitch! ("TIMM-BERRR!")

Like ah say!---The Toon did'nt have a 'good day at the office' and Bedlington were much the stranger team and they ran oot 2-0 winners tih progress tih the next roond.

The tiny bus shelter stand that we were under (so 'tiny' that yih had tih 'dook' tih avoid hittin' yih heed on the roof supports!) waz mekin' 'strange noises' from the roof above.


Ah knocked on it oot of curiosity and amazingly ah got a 'knock back'!?---Two minutes later a youngins heed appeared upside doon starin' arriz from the above roof! (SO THAT'S! what the noise waz!)


Anotha 'upside doon heed' then appeared and this cheeky sprog tried tih swipe 'Alan 'The Mad Professor's  Toon hat, who waz just below him!-----however!--he did a neat 'body swerve' and the would be thief waz left 'hatless' az 'The Mad Professor' banged on the roof tih chase him away!---and yih could here hiz 'plates of meat' bangin, az he scarpered alang the 'now dinted' tin roof!


A 'classic end' to a 'not so'  'classic match'!

WHEY MAAN!---IT'S NOT FRIDAY!

Posted '9:25pm bells' VE Day Friday 8th May 2020

VE DAY 1945

The Geordie Times told yoo on Tuesday that the impendin' takeower of NUFC woz due to be completed today!----However!--- it's now past '9 bells' at neet with nee news forthcomin'!

One reason iz the fact that today iz a public holiday in the UK because of the 75th VE Day celebrations for the end of World War 2 in 1945!

The new date for the takeower iz sometime next week, (alledgedly!) in this very lang drawn oot affair, to finally get rid of wor hated owner known az 'The Fat Controller', after 13 lang years of broken promises and mediocrity! 

We said on Tuesday that if the takeower didnt take place today after wor prediction that it would, that yoo could pelt us with rotton eggs and fruit!

We await with trepidation for a full scale attack from irate Geordie Times reeeders!---but be aware---we are prepared for the worst!

SAUDI TAKEOWER LATEST!----

Posted '2:55pm bells' Thorsday 7th May 2020

Updated throughout the day---and neet!

Encouragin' news from The Saudi Royal Family website!

KEEP THE FAITH! *** NUFC!

Updated '5:00pm bells' 
Just foond oot--this iz not the 
Official Saudi Royal family website
Might be a hoax?

Updated '7:15pm bells'
The website iz APPROVED by the Saudi Royal Family,
so it IZ genuine!

More encouragin' news
Updated 9:11pm bells'

"BROTHERLY LOVE!"

The bottom line sez it all!