THE BORNLEY HILLBILLIES 1 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '11:28am bells' Sunday 15th December 2019

VIEW FROM ROW Z, SEAT 0063 OF THE CRICKET FIELD STAND

Well!-- there's one thing for certain, it wont tek lang to see this match report!

Anothaa dire away performance in the rain, sleet and hailstones off the Lancashire hills, made it a black miserable day for the Toon fans present!

It reeely iz hard to watch this drivel and with a strikeforce of Carroll and Joelinton, we produced exactly NEE shots on target from the forst whistle to the last!

At 40 million quid, Joelinton haz got to be wor worst buy ever (even worse than 16 million midget Michael Owen!) az he failed yet again to score or come close to doin so!
(Just ONE goal in 17 starts and NONE in the last 14!)

Bornley wornt very good eethaa but the one and anly goal of the game to them in the 58th minute, when the ref at forst gave a goal kick to us--and then changed hiz mind? ---and from the resultin corner the home side took the lead through Wood and there woz nee way back after this!
A weak effort from Joelinton and a miss by Gayle in the 2nd period woz the anly 'highlight' from NUFC (or shud that be LOWlight?)

Quite simply, yoo cant win a game if yoo don't have a shot on goal and so it proved az the 2,450 Toon faithful watched on in disbelief at probably wor worst performance of the season, against a side that had conceded 11 goals in their last 3 games!

A one to consign to the history books aalready, FULL STOP.

Toon team: (who didn't do justice): Dubravka, Manquillo, Fernandez, Schar, Dummett, Willems (Gayle 71), Atsu (Muto 81), Hayden, S. Longstaff, Joelinton, Carroll

Attendance: 19,798 (2,450 fed up Toon fans in The Cricket Field Stand)

Before and after the game we went on wor usual 'liquid lubrication pub crawl' in various hostelries in Bornley and Manchester (where we caught train connections!)

*

BORNLEY TOON CENTRE

BORNLEY TOON CENTRE

BORNLEY TOON CENTRE

BORNLEY TOON CENTRE

MANCHESTER CITY CENTRE

MANCHESTER CITY CENTRE

*Later toooneet 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' are off on wor travels again---to Eest London this time, where wor U23s are takin on West Ham U23s at Rush Green, Romford tomorrow at 'high noon bells'---which (az you've probably guessed?) iz a NEW GROOND for us!

A match report on that game will appear here sometime on Munday neet or Tuesday mornin'!

PS: By late Munday neet we will naa wor opponents in the 3rd roond of the FA Cup, when Boston United take on Rochdale in a 2nd roond replay----Hopefully Rochdale will win az we have never been to their groond---whereaz we HAVE been to Boston before in a friendly 30 years ago! 

THE BORNLEY HILLBILLIES v THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted '2:55pm bells' Friday 13th December 2019

Toomorrow afternoon we heed for the delights of Bornley, high up in the Lancashire wilderness----in daylight!
The last few times we have been here have been for midweek night games and so to see it in daylight will be a novelty!

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' are on the '7:18 bells' train from 'The Central' to Manchester and then onwards to the hills beyond!

Lascelles, Saint Maximin and Ritchie are unavailable and are expected to be oot until the new year!
Clark, Shelvey, Almiron and Ki are aalso doubts after pickin up injuries!
NUFC have sold wor entire allocation of 2,450 tickets for 'The Cricket Feeeeld Stand'!

A full match report and pix will appear here sometime on Sunday!

And then on Munday dinnatime we heed for 'The Smoke' (London) where wor U23s are takin on West Ham U23s at Rush Green Stadium in Romford ("New groond!---new groond!") in a 'high noon bells' kick off and 'The Geordie Times' will (of course!) have a report on this game sometime on Tuesday!
Az per usual, "Watch this space!" 

THE TOON U23s 0 READIN U23s 1 *** PPREMYAA LEEGUE 2

Posted at last! at '2:17pm bells' Tuesday 10th December 2019
(4 days late!)

PART OF THE HUGE 108 CROWD WATCH 

FROM THE FAR TOUCHLINE---'TWO'! OLD TIMERS!

An aaful first half display in a strong wind spoiled the game and the sides went in goalless at the break!

The smaall crowd of 108 could anly watch az Readin scored the one and anly goal of the game in the 50th minute through Olise who ran through wor defence to slot home!

We played a lot better in this half but just couldn't find the equaliser and so wor U23s lost for the first time in 4 games!

A 'MINT CONDITION'? TEAMSHEET!

After the match it woz a 20 minute Metro ride from Benton to Gatesheed Stadium, where 'The Heedbangers' of Gatesheed ran oot 3-1 winners against Alfreton in The Natonal Leegue North, with goals from Kayode (2) and Preston.  
Preston's goal woz a spectacular effort from 30 yards oot into the corner of the net, to send The Heedbangers into ecstasy! 

A crowd of aroond aboot 700 included 25 or so hardy Alfreton fans in the far corner of the main stand!

The gallows humour of the Gatesheed fans woz brilliant!
"Gateshead's a sh*t hole---I call it my home!"

THE TOON 2 THE SIMON TEMPLAR MOB 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 9th December 2019

"SOME-WHERE OVER THE RAINBOW!"

"A 'CARROLL' SERVICE TO SAVOUR!"

Anothaa 'Jekyll and Hyde' performance from NUFC at SJP yesterday, but despite puttin' in a 'Mr Hyde' performance in the forst half, 'Dr Jekyll' appeared in the 2nd have in the shape of Andy Carroll who came on in the 58th minute to replace centre forward Joelinton, who had yet anothaa 'Mr Hyde' nightmare!

LEFT TO RIGHT

JOELINTON & CARROLL!

Honestly!---the forst half woz 'az bad az it gets', with Sooothampton makin most of the play and they shud have been aheed at the break! 
If it wasn't for Dubravka in the Toon goal, who made at least 2 excellent saves to deny wor visitors, It would have been a much different outcome come the final whistle! (I coonted ONE shot on target from 'us', at the very end of the half!)

THE 1969 FAIRS CUP WINNIN' TEAM WERE PRESENTED 

TO THE CROWD AT HALF TIME, TO LOUD APPLAUSE!

There were huge gaps in the crowd, which woz the lowest for a leegue game for 9 years (42,000 plus) and it didn't help that Sooothampton brought less than a thoosand fans, who were huddled in the far corner of 'the gods' in The Leazes End!

SPOT THE SOOOTHAMTON FANS IN FAR TOP CORNER 

OF THE LEAZES END!

Within 7 minutes of the restart, disaster struck when Danny Ings ran through wor defence from the half way line unchalenged and hit a sweet effort past the advancin Dubravka to give *The Simon Templar Mob a desorved lead!---A great save by Dubravka 2 minutes later stopped them doublin' their lead, which would surely have won them the match!

2nd HALF ACTION AT THE GALLOWGATE END!

The tornin' point came on the hour mark when the ineffective Joelinton made way for Andy Carroll and hiz ariel presence from the start had the Sooothampton defence in turmoil!
And then 'the game changer'----Carroll, on the wing in the Galowgate/Milburn Stand corner sent ower a pinpoint cross towards the far post and Jonjo Shelvey woz on hand to send a bullet heeder past  McCarthy in the visitors goal to level the game in the 68th minute!

The winner came just 3 minutes from full time, when anothaa sub, Saun Longstaff sent in a powerful shot which McCarthy fumbled and Fernandez woz on hand to 'welly' the baall into the roof of the net to send wor lowest crowd of the season into 'ecstaseeee!'
(Longstaff had anly ben on the field for 2 minutes, before hiz contribution to the winnin goal!)

There woz nee way back for Sooothampton and we collected the 3 precious points to send us up into the top half of the Premyaa Leegue, just 7 points off a Champions Leegue place!!!, and we can anly dream of an away tie to Real Madrid next season!!!

Toon team: Dubravka, Manquillo, Fernandez, Willems, Clark (Schar 46), Dummett, Hayden, Shelvey, Saint-Maximin, Almiron (Sean Longstaff 85), Joelinton (Carroll 60)

Attendance: 42,303 (Even lower than any crowd we had the last time we were in The Championship!)

*The Simon Templar Mob---an explanation: Simon Templar woz a star in the 1960's cult TV series 'The Saint'----Sooothampton's nickname iz 'The Saints'---get it????

THE ALAN SHEARER STATUE AFTER THE GAME!

"OH WHY ARE WE 'WAITING'!"

PS: Match reports for wor U23s game v Readin U23s and Gatesheed's game v Alfreton last Saturday, will eventually appear here sometime tomorrow---

4 days late!---But wot did yoo expect?--This IZ 'The Geordie Times' after aall!

THE BLADE RUNNERS 0 THE TOON 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '1:11pm bells' Friday 6th December 2019
Updated '9:27 bells' Saturday

"V-A-R MY LORD!---V-A-R!"---

The jorney to Sheffeeeld consisted on 3 train rides from 'The Central' to York---York to Donny---and finally Donny to Sheffeeeld!----And the reason woz because it woz much cheeeper than othaa prefored routes (£35.40 retorn--back forst class!)

We arrived 4 hours before kick off and heeded for a reeel ale bar aboot half a mile from the train station, off the beaten track!

After a couple of 'liquid lubrications' there, it woz time to heed closer to the groond where we stopped for the duration, before heedin for the tornstiles!

If yoo have never been to Bramall Lane before, the outside of the stadium looks like some kind of office block and not a futbaall stand---the giveaway iz the 'blade emblem' on the side of the building (Sheff Us nickname iz 'The Blades', in case yi didn't naa!)

The Toon fans were in boisterous mood az the game kicked off, many the 'worse for ware' with the drink!
'The Blade Runners' dominated proceedings orly on, but it woz 'The Toon' who took the lead in the 15th minute, when Saint-Maximin heeded home at the far end from us, to send the 2,865 'faithful' wild with delight! (Hiz forst goal for us!)

TOON FANS CELEBRATE SAINT-MAXIMIN'S GOAL!

Sheffeeeld again dominated play but couldn't find a way through wor defence and we went in 1-0 up at half time!

THE TOON ARE IN THE DARK GREEN AWAY STRIP

Again, the home side dominated play az we attacked the goal where the Toon fans were housed!

The major (major!) talkin point came in the 70th minute when Andy Carroll heeded through to Jonjo Shelvey who had a clear run on goal---the linesman to wor left immediately raised hiz flag for 'offside' but Shelvey carried on and tucked the baall into the corner of the net, while the Sheffeeeld keeper made a half hearted attempt to stop the baall with hiz foot!
The were muted cheers from the Toon fans az we thought that it would be disallowed----but the VAR panel were consulted and after wot seemed like a lifetime, gave the decision---'GOAL'! 

This sent the Toon fans crazy az Shelvey ran doon the pitch towards us in delayed celebration az we chanted "V-A-R!  V-A-R!"

The home side were 'done in' by the decision and there woz 'nee way back' for them, az we collected the 3 precious points to lift us up to 11th place in the table, level on points with Sheff U and 'The Arse', who lost 2-1 at home to Brightin!

Sheff Us manager Chris Wilder said after the match: 
"I think Sheffield United fans are mad but Geordies, they're absolutely off their nut them!  Passionate, aren't they?--really passionate!"

Happier days indeed!---Sooothampton are next in a '2:00 bells' kick off at SJP on Sunday! (NOT on the telly)

Team line ups and more pix later, az I'm off on 'the drink' in a few minutes----will be updated sometime tooneet when aa get back yem "HIC!"

Updated Saturday '9:27am bells'

Toon team: Dubravka, Manquillo, Clark, Fernandez, Dummett, Willems, Hayden, Shelvey, Saint-Maximin (Atsu 81), Almiron (Krafth 88), Carroll (Joelinton 72)

Attendance: 30,409 (2,865 happy Toon fans!)

*Double HEEDer today!

Wor U23s take on Reading U23s at Blue Flames, Benton at 'high noon bells' today (aka Whitley Park) in a Premyaa Leegue 2 fixture---and then Gatesheed take on Alfreton Toon at The International Stadium in Gatesheed at '3:00 bells' in a National Leegue North encoontaa!
That's wor 'fixes' for today and a match report on both games will appear here----eventually! (On Munday)

And then (of course) tomorrow, wor forst team take on Sooothampton at SJP in a '2:00 bells' kick off in The Premyaa Leegue (NOT on the telly!) and a match report on that game will appear here sometime on Munday, alang with the above matches!
Az per usual---"Watch this space!"

THE BLADE RUNNERS V THE TOON ** THORSDAY NEET!

Posted '1:19pm bells' Wedinzday 4th December 2019

Tomorrow neet we heed for Sheffield for a rare appearance at Bramall Lane, where NUFC are taking on Sheff U in a '7:30 bells start for live telly on Amazon Prime!
Lascelles, Ritchie and 'Carroll the Crock' are aall injured and will miss the game, while Yedlin woz pictured trainin yesterday and iz expected to be available!
We have sold wor allocation of 2,865 tickets for The Bramall Lane Lower Stand.

But wot performance will NUFC put in?--Hopefully one like wor MAGnificent 2-2 draw with Man City at SJP and NOT the sorry performance we put in at Villa Park!  

Its aboot 10 years since we last played a competitive game here, but in the distant past we were regular visitors to the oldest futbaall groond in the world (the world's oldest club, non leegue Sheffield FC played here before Sheff U)

The Geordie Times forst visit woz in 1972 where a huge fight took place in The Shorham End between The Leazes End Boot Boys and The Shorham Skinheads! (In the days before crowd segrigation) 

A 'classic' archive match report from that game played on April Fools Day more than 47 years ago, iz reproduced below!

FA CUP DRAW *** IT'S BOSTON OR ROCHDALE AWAY!

Posted '2:30pm bells' Tuesday 3rd December 2019
Updated Wedinzday

SPOTLAND---PLEEEEZE!

The draw for the thord roond of the FA Cup haz paired us with 2 minnows!
Non leegue Boston United or Leegue 2 Rochdale!

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have actually been to York Street, Boston aboot 30 years ago, when Brazilian Mirandinha made hiz debut for The Toon in a friendly.  

YORK STREET, BOSTON

We won 1-0 if I remember correctly and Mirandinha actually came into the Boston clubhoose after the game and signed the match programme for me, az it had hiz face on the front! (god naaz where that programme iz now?---somewhere in mee loft nee doubt?)


Rochdale, on the othaa hand iz a groond a'v wanted to gan tee for years, az aa must have passed the town a thoosand times or more, through work and travel to othaa away games in Lancashire!
Alang with Fleetwood, its the anly Lancashire based leegue groond aa havvent been tee! 

So, I divvint 'fink' it will take much workin oot, just whoo aa want win the replay on Tuesday December 10th in Boston! (aall lugs glued to the radio that neet!)

Whoever it iz, the tie will take place in the forst week of the new year----for live telly for certain!

Updated Wedinzday:
The game between Boston and Rochdale haz been moved forward 6 days to Munday 16th December for live telly (BT)
(The same day that wor U23s play West Ham U23s in Romford!)

NEW GROOND & FA CUP DRAW TOONEET!

Posted '1:33pm bells' Munday 2nd December 2019

RUSH GREEN STADIUM

"COME IN NUMBER 28!"

'The Geordie Times' can conform that wor U23s Premyaa Leegue 2 away game v West Ham U23s will be played at Rush Green Stadium, Romford on Munday December 16th, which (of course) 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' will be gannin' tee---az its a NEW GROOND to tick off the nevaa endin' list!

The train prices to King's Cross (London) from the Toon are horrendous that day---anything from £100 to £155 ONE WAY!
So unfortunately 'yours truely' will be 'slumming it' on the way doon by 'Mega-bus' for the princely sum of £14!

The train back isn't too bad and a'v managed to get a forst class ticket back on the '7:30 bells' train for £55.10p
The game kicks off at 'high noon bells'

Aalso, tooneet, there iz the possibility of several new groonds in the FA Cup 3rd roond draw, with Newport, Fleetwood, Rochdale, Fylde, Northampton and Bristol Rovers aall groonds we have yet to visit! (NUFC are baall number 28)
The draw iz on BBC 2 and Radio 5 live at '7:00 bells' and 'The Geordie Times' will bring yoo---wor loyal reeeders the team we will be playin az soon az we find oot!

FA CUP UPDATE 'HERE' SOMETIME TOONEET!
Updated '7:22pm bells'
IT'S ROCHDALE OR BOSTON UNITED AWAY!
Been to Boston for a friendly a few years ago, but NOT Rochdale!

THE TOON 2 THE BLUE MOONIES 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '11:01am bells' Sunday 1st December 2019

THE FREE KICK WHICH SEALED A POINT---

ATSU ON THE EDGE OF THE BOX, PASSES TO SHELVEY AND AZ 
THIS PIC SHOWS, SHELVEY IZ TEEIN' UP FOR THE SHOT,
 WHICH LIFTED THE ROOF OFF THE GALLOWGATE END!

"JONJO'S WONDER STRIKE SECURES A PRECIOUS POINT!"

Jonjo Shelvey woz the hero of the hour with a fantastic strike in the 88th minute to rescue a point from the leegue champions in a gritty performance that had the crowd bouncin' with delight!

Man City had taken the lead in the 23rd minute through Sterling at The Gallowgate End after a scramble in the penaly area.
Jetro Willems equalised a couple of minutes later, when he hit a right footed screamer into the far corner of the net from a Almiron pass!(Almiron's 1st ever assist for a goal!)

We held on az The Blue Moonies pounded wor goal and missed several chances to retake the lead in the 2nd half.
They finally did it just 8 minutes from the end when De Bruyne hit a thunderbolt shot which went in off the bar, giving Debravka nee chance in the Toon goal!

When we aall thought it woz ower, we got a free kick near the penalty area. Substitute Atsu took it and just when we thought that he would centre the baall into the box, he changed his mind and passed to Shelvey, who woz waitin' at the edge of the box and the rest is history, az they say! (see top pic!)

HAPPY FANS LEAVE THE GROOND AFTER THE MATCH!

Toon team: Dubravka, Manquillo, Fernandez, Clark, Dummett, Willens, Shelvey, Hayden, Saint-Maximin (Atsu 80), Almiron, Joelinton (Gayle 69)

Attendance: 49,937 (3,000 Blue Moon Brigade)

*

THE TOON v THE BLUE MOONIES

Posted '3:15pm bells' Friday 29th November 2019

A VIEW OF THE MILBURN STAND FROM THE GALLOWGATE END

IN WOR PREVIOUS HOME GAME v BORNMOOOTH

Tomorrow dinaatime we take on Man City in the '12:30 bells' slot for live telly at SJP!
NUFC reeely must put in a much better performance than we did in the horror show at Villa Park on Munday, or else we are in for a potential hidin' from the current leegue champions!

Yedlin iz a doubt, but Sean Longstaff retorns after suspension.
Both Lascelles and Ritchie are still recoverin' from injury and will miss oot!

Meeenwhile tooneet, wor U23s are in action at Glanford Park in Scunthorpe at '7:00 bells' in The Premyaa Leegue Cup---a potential new groond for new NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!
Of course 'veteran hoppers' like me have been here before in Championship games and will give it a miss!

More news for AALL groundhoppers iz that wor U23s game at Dagenham against West Ham haz been moved to Rush Green Stadium in Romford on Munday December 16th with a 'high noon bells' kick off!----More on this later, when we find oot more details!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here on Sunday on both the U23s game at Scunthorpe and of course wor vital game against Man City at SJP
Az per usual "Watch this space!"