NUFC 13th BEST SUPPORTED CLUB IN THE WORLD! *** 2013-2018

Posted '4:45pm bells' Thorsday 11th April 2019

Amazingly---despite wor constant battles against relegation and mediocrity, NUFC are conformed az the THORTEENTH (13th) best supported futbaall club in the world between 2013 and 2018 and the 3rd best supported in the UK between those years, despite a year in The Championship!

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THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE V THE TOON *** FRIDAY NEET

Posted '3:55pm bells' Thorsday 11th April 2019

We heed for the delights of Lestaa tomorrow for anothaa live televised game!
To get sommik oot of this game---even a solitary point--would be a bonus, az wor opponents are 'on fire' at the moment under the leadership of Brendan Rodgers, who 'jumped ship' at Celtic to take ower the 'wheel' at the east Midlands club!

Should we lose, then Cardiff will have 2 games in hand with games against othaa relegation candidates Bornley and Brightin, within the next week!
In the unfortunate possibility that they win both, then they would be just ONE solitary point behind us with just 4 games to gan!

Lets hope that doesn't happen and that we can get a positive result tomorrow neet!?

The fact that NUFC are still in danger with so few games left iz a major disappointment.
Of course its aall doon to the money spent in the last 2 transfor windows, that we find worsels in this position yet again under 'The Fat Controller's leadership? (or lack of it!)

A full Geordie Times match report from Lestaa will appear here sometime on Saturday!
Az per usual, "Watch this place!"

LIVERBIRDS IN LIMBO!

Posted '1:47pm bells' Wedinzday 10th April 2019

Wor home game v The Liverbirds haz been pencilled in for Sunday May 5th with a '4:30 bells' kick off for live telly!
HOWEVER! Az the 'Mickey Mousers' beat Porto 2-0 in The Champions Leegue qwaataa final forst leg last neet at Anfeeeld, its looks highly likely that they will progress to the semi final stage, which meeenz that the game will be put back a day, az the semis are on the following Tuesday/Wedinzday!

If it IZ put back, there iz still nee kick off time for this game on the Saturday and it will be played at eethaa '12:30 bells' OR '5:30 bells' for live telly!---we just don't know!?


The 2nd leg of The Champions Leegue game will be played on Wedinzday 17th April---and anly then will we find oot wot day (but not wot time) it will definatly be played on!
Just like Brexit----
"IT'S ANOTHAA FIXTURE FARCE FOLKS!"

IT'S LEEEDZ U23s AWAY ---AGAIN! *** AT GUISELEY! ---AGAIN!

Posted '1:50pm bells' Thorsday 4th April 2019
Updated '4:28pm bells' Munday 8th April 2019
Updated again on Tuesday!

ACTION FROM WOR U23s GAME AT GUISELEY IN FEBRUARY

(NUFC IN LIGHT BLUE)

(SEE GROUND 338 IN ARCHIVE SECTION)

The draw for the semi finals of The Premyaa Leegue Cup for U23 sides haz been made and NUFC U23s must travel to Leeedz or Guiseley for this 'one off' game!
It will be played on Tuesday 23rd April  at Nethermoor Park, the home of Guiseley FC with a '7 bells' kick off time!

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' of course have aalready been to Guiseley orlier this year, when we lost 3-1 in front of a 1,000 plus crowd in a group stage game!


THE SEMI FINALS DRAW:
Leeedz U23s v NUFC U23s
Swanzeee U23s v Evaatin U23s or Bleakburn U23s

MEEENWHILE!
Wor U23s have secured a 'play off' place in Premyaa Leegue 2, Division 2 by beatin' Stoke 3-2 away yesterday (Munday), after bein' 0-2 doon.
Goals from Bailey, Toure and Bailey again secured the victory ---aall wor goals comin' in the 2nd half of the 2nd half!

So there iz still a possibility of more new groonds to visit for 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers', before the end of the season, az most clubs of course play their resorve games on non leegue groonds! 

LEJEUNE CROCKED!

Posted '1:10pm bells' Munday 8th April 2019

Florian Lejeune iz oot for the rest of the season after sustainin' a bad knee injury when he tackled Andros Townsend near the East Stand touchline on Saturday!
We knew it woz bad when play woz held up for 7 minutes and he woz carried off on a stretcher in the 65th minute!

This iz more bad news for NUFC and their fans az we are still not safe from relegation after the disastrous 1-0 defeat to Cristil Palliss!

This follows on from Sean Longstaff's injury which aalso looks likely to rule him oot for the rest of the season!

THE TOON 0 CRISTIL PALLISS 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted '10:15am bells' Sunday 7th April 2019

THE PLAYERS SHAKE HANDS BEFORE KICK OFF

"AALL EYES ON CARDIFF NOW!"

Wot can we say?----A game we needed to win to make us 'safe' woz lost in the dyin' embers of the game, when a needless penalty woz given away by at The Leazes End by Yedlin in the 81st minute!

"OOH IT'S A CORNER!"  

THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES GOAL (1st half)

Not sure how many shots we had, but it must have been 18 or 19 compared to Palliss's 2 or 3 and we reeely shud have got something oot of this game! (like 3 points!)
2 goals were disallowed for offside (one for each side) but from wor point of view, efforts from, Rondon, Richie, Perez and Lejeune (etc) were denied by the Palliss goalie and then Lejeune went doon injured and had to be carried off on a stretcher in the 65th minute! 

ACTION AT THE GALLOWGATE END (2nd half)

When Milivojevic <(hope this iz spellt reet?) stepped up to take the penalty, someone behind me said that he'd aalready scored NINE penalties this season!
He didn't miss, sendin Dubravka the wrang way to clock up hiz 10th and send the Toon fans into despair az we hord that Bornley were winnin at Bournemoooth, meenin that both them and Palliss were leap-frogging us in the table!

With the teams mentioned aroond us pickin up points, we drop to 15th in the table, still 7 points above Cardiff, but 'The Taffy Noses' now have a game in hand az they arnt playin this weekend!

Aall eyes are now on their results az the dreaded 'R' word iz still possible!---They play Bornley next Saturday, while we must travel to Lestaa the neet before! (who won 4-1 at 'uddersfeeeld yesterday!)

BOTTOM OF THE TABLE

It's 'squeeeky bum time folks' az we bid to avoid the 'abyss' of 'The Championship' for the thord time in 10 years!
Az we are 7 points clear of the last relegation place and have a far superior goal difference to Cardiff, this scenario iz unlikely with games runnin oot---but NOT impossible!

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Schar, Lascelles, Lejeune (Dummett 65), Richie (Atsu 90), Perez, Hayden, Ki (Shelvey 76), Almiron, Rondon

Attendance: 51,926 (1,500 or so happy Palliss fans!)
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THE TOON v CRISSTIL PALLISS *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON

Posted '2:40pm bells' Friday 5th April 2019

"IT'S A TISSUE OF LIES I TELL YOU!

RAFA WAS AT THE NUFC TRAINING GROUND!"

Scaremongers have claimed tha 'Rafa the Gaffa' iz off to France next season in an article in  French futbaall magazine L'quipe!

It claims that he met representatives  from Lyon in Manchester on March 6th for discussions!

Rafa haz responded by sayin' that he took trainin' that day and lunch at Benton and didn't leave til '8:00pm bells'
He aalso said that the anly club he woz taakin tee aboot an extension to hiz contract woz NUFC ---and that he woz still waitin' for an answer from them! (ie: FAKE NEWS!) 

Tomorrow we take on a Palliss team who are just one point above us in 13th place in the table!
WE are lookin' for wor SIXTH home win in a row and if we achieve this, we will leapfrog the sooth Londoners into 13th place!
There are anly a handful of tickets left for the game, meanin' that anothaa 50,000 plus crowd will be present!

Cardiff arnt playin this weekend due to the FA Cup semi finals and IF we win we will gan TEN points clear of them, with a much superior goal difference---which will surely be enough to guarantee safety! 

A full Geordie Times match report will follow sometime on Sunday ----az per usual---"Watch this space!"

"TWO DOON *** ONE TO GAN!"

Posted '2:58pm bells' Wedinzday 3rd April 2019

ONE PUB FOR NUFC FANS TO AVOID! (IN YORK!)

Fulim's 4-1 thrashin' at Wotfaad last neet meeenz that they are relegated alang with 'uddersfeeeld, leavin' just one place left in the relegation trapdoor!
'The Taffy Noses of Cardiff' look the most likely to fall through it, az they have a very tough run in, includin' Man City away tooneet, The Liverbirds at home and Moan U away on the last day of the season!
Cardiff are 7 points behind us with 7 games left and a far inferior goal difference az well!

2 othaa relegation rivals are aalso in action tooneet when Chelski play Brightin at home---and of course the well published openin'  of Sporz new stadium, when they take on Cristil Palliss

3 home wins would de very nicely (pleeeze!) and I will be sittin' glued to mee wagon's radio tooneet az aa de mee usual night truck run ower the M62 to Manchester!

NUFC of course are at home to Palliss on Saturday and 3 points in that game will surely make us safe!

Footnote: By amazin' coincidence the above pub owners were fined £44,000 when a delivery driver fell through an open trapdoor and into the bar's cellar!!!! 
(ie: A VERY appropriate name for a pub in this case!)

Updated 10:10pm bells in Eccles, Manchester.

Wor wishes came true!
Chelski beat Brightin 3-0
Man City beat Cardiff 2-0
and Sporz beat Palliss 2-0 at their brand new stadium!

THE ARSE 2 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted from '8:00am bells' on train from King's Cross, Tuesday 2nd April 2019

"APRIL FOOLS!"

I am writin this on the train yem after yet anothaa horror show in London!
Havin lost on wor last 6 visits to 'The Arse' it woz nee suprize to lose yet again on 'April Fools Day'!
Thankfully, this woz 'a free hit' az Cardiff had lost the previous day, meeenin that we would still be 7 points clear, even if we lost---which of course we did!

A terrible performance from The Toon against a side which woz below par to say the least!

We survived til the 30th minute when Aaron Ramsey sidefooted a shot which went in off the post in front of the 3,000 Toon diehards who had made the treck to The Emirates!

We couldnt respond az we hardly crossed the halfway line durin the forst period!

It woz nee better the 2nd half az The Arse tried to double their lead az they pounded wor goal!
They finally did so in the 83rd minute when Lascelles failed to win the baall and Lacazette 'lobbed it' ower Dubravka in The Toon goal, to win the game! (Sadly this woz anothaa 'damage limitation exercise' to keep the score doon!)
Not one of wor players played well and we have failed to win in London in 5 attempts this season!
Not anly that but we have failed to beat any London team at home, eethaa!
"April Fools", every one!

Toon team line up to follow later
The train iz jumpin aall ower the place makin it hard to type!
Much later!: Toon team, Dubravka, Yedlin, Lascelles, Leugene, Dummett, Richie (Kenedy 75), Diame, Hayden (Ki 67), Almiron, Perez (Muto77), Rondon

Attendance:59,869? (50,000 at most includin' 3,000 Toon fans)

THE 100 AWAY PUB CRAWL CHALLENGE!
6 new boozers were added to the list, makin a total of 114 so far,  includin 36 London pubs!

EXMOUTH ARMS

EATONS

                                                                   THE ENKEL ARMS

THE SHAKESPEARE (twice!)

ARKSTAR

TOMMY FLYNNS

FROM UTTER DISPAIR TO UNBRIDLED JOY IN THE SPACE OF ONE HOUR!

Posted '11:15am bells' April Fools Day 2019

"WHO SAYS THE mackems ARE THICK?"

Yesterday afternoon woz quite a day if yoo were an NUFC fan.

Forst of aall we wanted Chelski to beat Cardiff to keep the gap to 7 points between us and them.

We were watchin the match in The Leazes End Club behind St. James' Park when Cardiff scored!----If it stayed this way then we would anly be 4 points from a relegation place!

Then a Toon fan called Jason asked if we wanted to see the score from Wembley in The Checkatrade Trophy final between the SMBs and Portsmoooth!
"NO!" I said but he still looked at hiz phone anyway and said: "Yoo don't want to know!"---which meant the mackems had scored!

It woz aall doom and gloom at this point az we drowned wor sorrows in pints of John Smiths!

Chelski were terrible, but with just 6 minutes to gan they scored a controversial 'offside goal' which stood---much to the anger of Neil Warnock in the Cardiff dugout!
There woz forthaa anger when a Chelski defender brung a Cardiff player doon when he woz clear!----A certain sendin' off?----NO!---the ref just booked him to forthaa enrage Warnock who's heed looked likely to 'explode'!

And then the 'ecstasy' az Chelski scored a last minute winner to send us wild in the club!----The gap woz still 7 points and even if we lose tooneet at Arsenal we will still be 7 points clear of Cardiff with just 7 games to gan!

Az aa woz leavin the club when the barmaid caalled Christine said that the Wembley game had gone to extra time! (a bit of hope at least!)
By the time a'd waaked doon to The Junction Bar I got a text message from mee mate called Dowaz!
I nervously looked at it and it said that Pompey had won 5-4 on penalties, with the mackem we love to hate, Lee Cattermole missin hiz penalty to give Portsmoooth the cup! (couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke!)----Unbridled joy came ower me, az I watched Portsmoooth lift the cup on the bars big screen, az Toon fans danced aroond the bar, az the beer went doon withoot touchin the sides!

A then the picture messages started comin' through!

'MISS' CATTERMOLE!

THEY CAN'T EVEN WIN THE MICKEY MOUSE CUP!

A day in the life of an NUFC diehard! 

OOH! a nearly forgot---there will be a full Geordie Times match report from Arsenal tomorrow mornin' on the train back from London!