THE TOON 1 'UDDERSFIELD 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '10:05am bells' Easter Sunday AND April Fools Day 2018

THE TOON ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE GOAL (1st half)

"GOOD' SATURDAY!"

Anothaa porfect day to gan with the one from 3 weeks ago when EVERY result went wor way!

But aa had mee doubts the day before on Good Friday, when aa watched the Gatesheed v Dagenham game in the National Leegue!
The Heed goalie, who I hadnt a clue wot hiz name woz, torned oot to be the nephew of an ex SMBs goalie caalled montgomery and with the same name!   Not anly that, but there were 73 Dagenham fans present!
(montgomery and 73!---get it?----a bad omen perhaps?) (See Heedbangers match report!)

It certainly looked that way on Saturday dinnaatime when Palace took the lead v Liverpool, somethin' we DIDNT want of course!

However, The Liverbirds came back and won 2-1 to keep Palace below us in the table withoot us kickin' a baall!

Wor game woz totally one sided with Shelvey and Gayle gannin close in the forst half!
Galyle in particular missed 2 great 'sitters'!
'uddersfield on the othaa hand didnt have one shot on goal!

ACTION AT THE LEAZES END (2nd half)

We had chances again in the 2nd period and Slimani finally made hiz debut in the 75th minute.
5mins later in the 80th minute we finally made the vital breakthrough, when Kenedy unselfleshlee side footed the baall to Perez in front of goal at The Leazes End and he prodded the baall home!
The relief of the crowd woz evident az the roof woz nearly blown off the stadium, in a game that woz played in very cold, very wet and windy conditions! (The coldest I can ever remember at Easter time!)

"I'M NOT SAYIN' IT WOZ FREEEEEZIN'!---BUT!"🐧

After a couple of scares near the end we managed to hold on for the 3 invaluable points!
The result proppeled us up to a 'nose bleed' height of 12th in the table, 7 points above the relegation zone and with the best goal difference in the bottom half of the table!

The othaa results then came through!
We wanted Brightin to lose ---and they did!
We wanted Swanzee to lose ----and they did!
We wanted WBA to lose ---and they did!
We wanted Sooothampton to lose---and they did!
We wanted Evaatin to lose ---and they did!
And finalleeee! ----We wanted Wotfaad to draw with Bournemoooth ---and they did! (2 points dropped each!) The 'montgomery jinx' thankfully HADN'T materialised!)
A VERY 'GOOD' SATURDAY INDEED!

HAPPY TOON FANS PASS THE BOBBY ROBSON STATUE

ON THE WAY OOT!

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Lascelles, Dummett, Shelvey, Diame (Hayden 79), Ritchie (Atsu 67), Kenedy, Perez, Gayle (Slimani 75)

Attendance: 52,261
(3,100 'uddersfield fans ⬅Yorkshire prenoonciation!)

"LET ENJOY AND GAN ON 'THE HOY'!"

Updated Easter Munday

We wanted 'The Arse' to beat 'The P*ss Potts of Stoke yesterday----and they did!--- makin' it a porfect Easter weekend!😊

THE TOON v 'UDDERSFIELD *** THIS AFTERNOOON!

Posted '1:00pm bells' Good Friday 30th March 2018
Updated Saturday '11:05am bells'

Az I speak it iz 'chuckin it doon' ootside (rain!) and its freeezin' caad az well! 🐧

After a 3 week break we are in action against
'uddersfield⬅ (Yorkshire prenoonciation!) @ SJP

It will be the forst time they have been here for a top flight game for 47 years! (1971) and since then they have been on a roller coaster ride havin 'visited' aall 4 leegues since then!

Will Salami feature for us?
He played 27minutes for Algeria in midweek and of course haz still to kick a baall for us sice hiz loan move in January!

Matt Ritchie iz a doubt after pullin oot of Scotland's squad on Tuesday but iz expected to play!

Yet again this iz a 'must win game' az the season draws to a close with games runnin oot!

Match report will follow tomorrow---sometime!

'HEEDBANGERS' IN ACTION!

With ne game yesterday we decided to heed for 'The Heed' where Gatesheed took on Dagenham and Redbridge in the National Leegue!
For a match report on that game see next post doon !

THE HEEDBANGERS 0 THE DAGGERS 0 *** NATIONAL LEEGUE

Posted '11:00am bells' Saturday 31st March 2018

The penalty save by the nephew of someone?

(See photo of team line ups!)

On a bitterly caad Good Friday (global warmin'---your havin' a laff!) aa heeded for The Nags Heed on Gatesheed High Street for the forst of many 'liquid lubrications' with 'Tex' and Les who iz a Heed season ticket holder!

After lubricatin' wor tonsils several times, we heed for The Heed's groond which iz aboot a mile waalk from the toon centre!

A smaall queue at the tornstiles greeted us az the Heed faithful entered the main stand!
Before the kick off there woz a minutes silence for those who had lost their lives in the armed forces!

The armed forces leave the pitch to loud applause!

73 Daggers diehards are in the far stand who made the lang trip from "Eest Landan"! (East London)

To be honest it woz a c*ap game with both sides missin' chance after chance, preferin' to fire the baall ower the bar, rather than into the net!
The highlight of the game came at The Byker Waall End  (The Byker Waall iz in the distance across the Tyne!) when Dagenham were awarded a clear penalty!
The Gatesheed keeper, (who's name aa didnt naa) dived to hiz left and saved brilliantly to the loudest cheers of the match!
Aa woz told by 'Tex', the keepers name, but aa thought he woz windin' me up! (See team line up photo below!)

Anyway! It woz back to 'The Nags' after the game for the evenin' session before (finally!) heedin' yem! (The anly GOOD thing aboot this Friday woz the booze up!)

Attendance: 770 (73 Dagenham and Redbridge fans!)

"We woz there!" (At a price!)

JOYOUS NEWS FOR NUFC MAD-SAD GR☺UNDH😊PPERS!

Posted 6:40pm bells Thorsday 29th March 2018
@ Trowell sorvices truck park

Wycombe's groond!

Stocksbridge's groond!

It haz been conformed that wor U23 cup tie v Sheff Utd WILL be played at Stocksbridge Park Steels FCs groond a week tomorrow, which iz a few miles north of Sheffield!
Aalso it haz been conformed that wor U23s away game v Reading will be played at Wycombe Wanderers groond, on April 16th, which meeenz that we will visit TWO new groonds within the space of TEN days!

Joyous news indeed!!!!😀

POSSIBLE NEW GROOND?

Posted 3:00pm bells Tuesday 27th March 2018
Updated Thorsday

Tooneet Sheff U U23s play Derby U23s in the U23s Premyaa Leegue Cup and the winners play NUFC U23s in the next roond!
Sheff U play their resorve games at Stocksbridge which iz a few miles north of Sheffield!

The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers await the result with baited breath!

Updated at midneet bells Woodall sorvices truck park

It IZ Sheff United away   they beat Derby 2-1
But will the game due to be played between 6th and 9th of April be played at Stocksbridge?

Updated Thorsday

The above game will be played on Friday April 6th @ '2:00pm bells'
It will eethaa be played @ Sheff Utds Bramall Lane groond or @ Stockbridge Park Steels groond!---A decision iz imminent!

Of course we hope its @ Stockbridge az we have been to Bramall Lane many times before!

We await the venue with baited breath (again!)😲

NORTH EAST'S TOP SUPPORTED CLUBS 2018

Posted '6 20pm bells' Munday March 26th 2018
At Trowell truck park M1

Ower 30,000 rugby fans torned up at St James' Park on Saturday to watch the Falcons v Northampton game---which iz more than torned up for the 2 Tees-wear derby games!

Below iz the list of the highest attendances for north east clubs so far in 2018


1 THE TOON: 52,309 v Moan United
2 NEWCASIL FALCONS: 30,174 v Northampton
3 The SMBs: 29,048 v The Smoggies
4 The Smoggies: 26,399 v The SMBs

THE BAD BLUE BOYS OF DUNSTON 2 *** NEWTON AYCLIFFE PURPLE PEOPLE EATERS 1 *** NORTHERN LEEGUE

Posted '10:49am bells' Sunday 25th March 2018

3 members of the Australian branch of the

Dunston Supporters Club made the trip from 'doon under'!

Dunston won this hard fought encoontaa 2 -1 at Federation Park with 2 forst half goals from Liam Thear with a 25 yard rasper and captain Dale Burrell with a well placed shot at The Tea Hut End!
Aycliffe, playin in a horrendous aall purple kit, replied in the 2nd period through Ben Trotter!

The Bad Blue Boys held on to take the points in front of a 130 crowd which included 2 Purple People Eater fans!

"WEMBLEY WOE!"

At Gatesheed Stadium 3 miles away there woz heartbreak when The Heedbangers failed to beat Bromley in the semi final of the FA Trophy by drawin 1-1 and losin 3-2 on aggregate, which meeenz that Bromley gan through to the Wembley final!
Ower 2,200 were present including 250 Bromley fans!


"MEEENWHILE @ SJP!"

In the rugby, Newcasil Falcons beat Northampton Saints 25-22 in front of a record Falcons crowd of ower 30,000 in wot woz classed az 'THE BIG ONE'! (they normally get 6,000 @ their home base of Kingston Park!)
The 2nd game in a row that 'The Saints' have been beaten at St James'z
(NUFC beat The Sooothampton 'Saints' 3-0 in The Premyaa Leegue in wor last home game!)

HEEDBANGERS OR BAD BLUE BOYS!?

Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 24th March 2018

With ne Premyaa Leegue games for the 2nd week runnin (because of the International break this time!) it's a choice between Gatesheed and Dunston for me to get mee Saturday afternoon 'fix'!

While 'The Heedbangers of Gatesheed' are playin a semi final Trophy game at the International Stadium v Bromley, 'The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston' are playin at Federation Park in a Northern Leegue encoontaa against Newton Aycliffe!

'The Heedbangers' gan into this 2nd leg game 3-2 doon with the prize of a Wembley final if they can overcome the deficit!
A good 2,000 plus crowd iz therefore antisipated and good luck to them!

'The Bad Blue Boys' game iz the one I have chosen, az this iz the team I normally follow when The Toon arnt playin! (A 200 'crowd' antisipated at this one!)

A match report on that game will be forthcomin sometime tomorrow, plus news of how Gatesheed got on!

Meeeenwhile! -- there IZ a game on at St James' Park this afternooon, when Newcasil Falcons take on Northampton in a rugby match, entitled 'THE BIG ONE'! (Thiz iz the forst time they have ever played there!)

A crowd of nearly 30,000 iz expected, which amazingly iz aboot 5 times the average gate for a Falcons home match! (They normally play at Kingston Park some 4 miles north west of SJP!)

"DESPICABLE DASTARDLY DEEDS!"

Posted '12:40pm bells' Friday 23rd March 2018

THE 'SKY'S' THE LIMIT!---THE ABSOLUTE 'LIMIT'! 

News that wor game at Evaatin, which we thought couldnt be moved, az the live telly games for April had aalready been picked, HAZ been moved at the last minute at the bequest of SKY!
The game haz been moved from Saturday 21st April to Munday 23rd April with an '8 bells' kick off!---which meeeenz!---we will be unable to get back by train, az we will miss the last one oot of Lime Street (Liverpool)

Many of the 3,000 Toon fans who have bought tickets, like Colonel Gadaffi (the one from Bracknel in Berkshire and NOT the one from Libya!) had aalready booked trains and hotels for a Saturday game, thinkin that that date woz 'cast in stone', anly to find oot that it had been moved to the followin Munday neet, yesterday! ---DESPICABLE!

This iz the 11th time (ELEVENTH!) that one of wor away games haz been moved for live telly this season and ne thought haz been given to 'us' yet again!

The match tickets have the Saturday date on them and they have sold oot! (While NUFC will refund costs of match tickets for those unable to travel---train fares and hotels are NOT included---of course!)
Of course many fans cant gan to midweek away games for a number of reasons and they are the ones who will miss oot and they will have to watch it on the box!

EVEN WOR OWN CLUB ARE AGAINST US!

Wot SKY are sayin iz: "Even when we pick games for TV ,we can STILL change it at the last moment if we want to----just to f**k you up!"
"We dont care if you have booked trains and hotels!---Its your daft fault for not waitin til the last minute, just in case we change it at a whim!" (cheap advance train tickets are unrefundable and hotels may charge a fee for cancellations!)

In othaa words----even when the games are picked for the telly we cant be sure that that will be the case anymore!

PS: In my case, luckily I hadn't booked any trains etc, but I will have to take anothaa days holiday from work to gan now!

Az for a date for wor game at Wembley v Sporz???, we have been told that it will be played anytime between May 1st and May 10th, but we wont find oot til April, when it iz too late to book 'cheapies'!
(Yoo cud aalways 'gamble' and book an open advance train ticket and a 10 day hotel stay in London!---if yoo are rich enough that iz!)

DASTERDLY DEEDS INDEED!

GEORDIE TIMES PUB QUIZ ANSWER

Posted 1:30pm bells Thorsday 22nd March 2018

Did yoo get the answer to yesterday's quiz?
The pub in question iz within hocklin distance
of 'The Gallowgate End'