"LET'S GAN ON A BENDER IN DECEMBER @ WEST HAM!"

Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards Saturday 23rd December 2017

*We anticipate that not many boozers will be visited before the West Ham game and if we find a 'canny one' not too far from the groond, then we will stop there for the duration!

Divvint forget, we have nevaa been to their new abode before and it will be 'trial and error' az we 'suss oot' any new 'liquid lubrication locations' on the way from King's Cross!

HACKNEY WICK NEAR WEST HAM'S NEW ABODE   EVEN THE LOCAL VICAR DROPPED IN FOR A 'GARGEL'! (2nd pic from bottom!)

FULL TIME  WON 3  2! SAIVET  DIAME   ATSU

The post match celebrations took place here within "hocklin' distance" of the stadium!

Match report tomorrow!☺😊😀

"LONDON (Stadium) CALLING!"---THE SEQUEL!

Posted '2:05pm bells' 'Black Eye Friday' 22nd December 2017

"BACK SECTION, ROW 58---PERHAPS?

Today iz 'Black Eye Friday', the one day of the year I avoid busy pubs az 'The Xmas Jumper' and 'Antler Brigade' will bee oot in force az the annual 'Once a Year Drinkers' descend 'on mass', on the last Friday before Xmas----'hoyin up' and startin fights when they get 'legless and rat-arsed' after 4 or 5 'gargels'! (hence 'Black Eye Friday')

Tomorrow iz 'New Groondhop Day' az 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' descend 'on mass' to the "Eest end of Landan" for wor forst ever visit to the London Stadium, when we take on 'The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham at their new abode in Stratford!

Three thoosand of us will be there and will be housed in 'The Trevor Brooking Stand', (corner bit!?)
There are 2 separate sections of 1,500 at the front and back and lookin' at mee match ticket I am in the back section row 58 which by my calculation will be aboot az far away from the pitch az possible, near the very back of the stand! (Reminder to myself: "Must bring some binoculars!")

We reeely MUST get sommik from this game az it iz now more than TWO months since we last won (v Palace on October 21st, 1-0!)

Mee forst ever visit to West Ham woz way back in March 1969 in the days before 'man had landed on the Moon'!, computaaz and mobile phones and an archive match report on that game nearly 49 years ago, will appear below this article sometime this afternoon!

Match report on tomorrows game will appear here on Sunday and 'Lets gan on a bender in December' pub crawl pix will appear here sometime tomorrow in a 'live stream'!

STOP PRESS!:

The telly games for February have been annoonced and we must now gan to Palace in London on Sunday 4th February for a '2:15 bells' kick off---meenin' that anothaa owerneet stay in the capital will be needed! 
Moan U at SJP haz aalso been moved to a Sunday 11th February at the same time!

The Bournemoooth away game stays the same with a '3 bells' kick off on Saturday 24th February

"LONDON (Stadium) CALLING!"

Posted 4 25pm bells Thorsday 21st December 2017 @ Trowell sorvices truck park on the M1

A rare event iz happenin this Saturday az we visit a brand new Premyaa Leegue groond for many a year!
The last time a new top flight groond woz visited woz 11 years ago when we played at The Emirates Stadium, Arsenal in November 2006 and drew 1-1

Az we've nevaa been here before its trial and error az to where to gan on a pub crawl and how to travel there az we've hord hotrendous stories of massive queues at the tube and train stations after the match!

More to follow on aall this tomorrow!

NE NEWS IZ BAD NEWS!

Posted just before high noon bells Wednesday 20th December 2017

It iz with increasin anxiety that The Geordie Times keeps lookin at the internet for any news of a takeover! (Aboot 5 times a day!)
The Fat Controller said he wanted rid of NUFC by Xmas, but az this iz less than a week away now this seems highly unlikely!

I have the same problem at work. A new company bought the business I work at last February and we were told that we would have "new trucks within 6 months" with new livery on the side of the vehicles!
10 months doon the line and we are still drivin the old trucks!

And then theres the A1 between Scotch Corner and Leeming Bar in north Yorkshire
The signs told us that the upgrade to a motorway would be completed by "SPRING 2017!" ---they STILL havent finished it az I speak, 9 months after they promised!?
They stated that when they dug the old road up they foond some Roman coins and broken Roman crockery and this stopped progress! (They could have my old NUFC cup which I broke the othaa week in mee kitchen, if they want some broken crockery!)

The point I am tryin to make iz that yoo cant believe anything yoo read theeze days! Especially anythin promised by The Fat Controller! (ie: A major trophy---Champions Leegue---sellin the club etc!)

THE ARSE 1 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '11:00am bells' Sunday 17th December 2017

View from row 12, seat 725 in 'The Clock End'

"IT'S SO SOUL DESTROYING!"

Yet anothaa defeat, which, with othaa results gannin against us, puts us into the relegation zone in 3rd bottom place!

Whereas many Toon fans thought that 'The Arse' would beat us by a 'cricket score', a 1-0 defeat still gives us zero points at the end of the day!

Backed by 2,900 fans in the away end, we watched in trepidation az the home side missed a few chances az they attacked the end we were in!

The breakthrough came at the mid point of the half when a wayward heeder from Florian Lejeune just outside the box fell nicely for Ozil to volley the baall past Rob Elliot in the Toon goal!

They couldn't add any more and we went in just 1-0 doon at the break!

We just seemed to be gannin through the motions az wor powder puff attack failed to dent The Aresholes defence!

The home side nevaa seemed to get oot of forst gear az gaps in the crowd told yoo that we wornt considered a threat and that those who stayed away went Xmas shoppin' instead!

Perez had 2 chances near the end but predictably missed them both and a 1-0 defeat didn't seem so bad, but it still put us in the bottom 3!

Since the clocks went back in late October we have went backwards doon the table from sixth top to thord bottom!---and it could get worse today if  WBA avoid defeat v Moan U and Swanzee win at Evaatin, we will end up in bottom place!!!

It's so soul destroyin' watchin' this cr*p week after week and ANLY a change of ownership can save us now we 'fink'----but 'The Fat Controller' wants more than £300 million for the club and 'Amanda' wont budge from hor £250 million offer, so we have 'stalemate' in the negotiations!

When oh when will wor misery end????

Toon team: Elliot, Yedlin, Lascelles, Lejeune, Manquillo, Hayden, Merino, Atsu (Richie 54), Perez, Murphy (Gayle 68), Joselu

Attendance: 59,379 (no way!--They coonted the 5,000 Xmas shoppers who wornt there az well!) 

(2,900 fed up Toon fans, who torned on wor 'beloved/beleagered' owner for the forst time since Rafa became manager!)

Footnote: "N-n-n-n-n-n-Nine-teen!"

On the way between bars we caught the number 19 bus from Holborn in London to Islington (where Arsenal play)

On the way the driver stopped the bus, got off and waaked doon the street!---where the hell haz he went to we thought???---the next thing a 'dibble van' with blue lights flashin' pulled in front of the bus and they remonstraited with the driver!

Apparently, he got off to have a 'slash' on a waall doon a back lane and the 'dibble' 'caught him in the act'!---they let him off with a warnin' and we carried on wor jorney to Islington!

Yih couldn't make it up!!!!

Passengers look on in amazement az the

bus driver gets a 'bollockin' off

'the dibble'!

A rather 'drunken' lamp post on the way to the groond!

  "Lets gan on a bender in December" pub pix below!

"LETS GAN ON A BENDER IN DECEMBER @ ARSENAL!

Posted from 1:00pm bells onwards Saturday 16th December 2017

The Shakespeare

Holborn

FT lost 1   0😨

Match report tomorrow!😨

AMANDA WANTS A CLAUSE IN THE TAKEOVER CONTRACT!

Posted 5:30pm bells Friday 15th December 2017

News reaches The Geordie Times that a stalemate haz been reached between Amanda and The Fat Controller in hor takeover bid!

She wants a clause written into the contract in case we are relegated!

NO!   NOT THAT kind of 'claus'!

THE ARSE v THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted just after high noon bells Friday 15th December 2017

Tomorrow we heed for the 'delights'? of "norf Landan" where we take on 'Wengers mob' in Islington.
We aim to end wor shockin run of 'ne wins' in the last 8 weeks and the odds are stacked against us!
A selloot 2,900 Toon fans will be there and they know that even a draw would seem like victory az we try and end the misery!

The decision in the summer not to invest heavily iz now bearin 'rotten fruit' az quite simply yoo cannit survive in The Premyaa Leegue with 'Championship' players!

Takeover talks are gannin on az we speak and anly a change of ownership will save us now!

Pleeze god let it happen or else this 'winter of discontent' will anly get even more 'discontented'!

On a personal note, mee forst ever visit to London came way back in 1968 when NUFC drew with Arsenal 0-0 at their old Highbury groond and that result would de nicely tomorrow!----believe yoo me!

A match report on that archive game 49 years ago will appear below here, sometime this afternooon and a match report on tomorrows game at The Emirites will appear here sometime on Sunday!

THE TOON 0 THE TOFFEE NOSES OF EVAATIN 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '1:15pm bells' Thorsday 14th December 2017

VIEW FROM MILBURN STAND BALCONY

Anothaa disastrous day at 'HQ' resulted in us losin' 1-0 to a very average Evaatin side!  Nothin' went right for us---that's for sure!

From Karl Darlow fumblin' the baall to give 'that thorn in wor side', Wayne Rooney the chance to toe poke the baall home at The Leazes End! (hiz 15th goal against us!) 

And then 2 screamers from Matt Richie and Mikel Merino which both hit the inside of the Evaatin post, but bouncin' back into play, denied us 2 goals before the break at The Gallowgate End!!!

THE TOON ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE GOAL (1st half)

To compound matters, Mo Diame missed a sitter in the 2nd half when he 'air kicked' the baall and the chance woz gone! (Rooney wouldn't have missed it!)----and the Jonjo Shelvey's sendin' off in the 4th minute of stoppage time for a daft, stupid and ridiculous lunge on an Evaatin player, just summed up the situation we are now in!---ONE point above the drop zone with 2 away games in 'The Smoke' (London) against 'The Arse' this Saturday and 'The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham the week after, and an EASY home game against 'The Blue side' of Manc-land (not!) on the 27th of this month, meenz that more than likely we will be in the relegation zone by then!

2nd HALF ACTION AT THE LEAZES END

Lascelles retorn to the side failed to stop the rot and with just ONE solitary point from the last 24 it doesn't look az though it will be a merry Christmas for us!

Wor only hope iz for the takeover to happen very quickly (if indeed it does?) or else we are doomed! (see story below)

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Lejeune, Manquillo, Merino (Perez 86), Shelvey, Atsu, Richie (Aarons 74), Diame (Joselu67), Gayle

Attendance: 51,042 (wor lowest of the season!) 2,500 happy Toffee Noses!)

*
The lets gan on a bender crusade continued in The Leazes End club!

And the Newcastle Arms!

   

NUFC SALE IMMINENT???

Posted '2;00pm bells' Wednesday 13th December 2017

IZ 'THE FAT CONTROLLER' ABOOT TO SELL HIZ 'TRAIN SET'?

News iz bein filtered through to 'The Geordie Times' via WhatsApp and text messages that wor 'beloved, beleaguered'? owner known 'affectionately'? to Toon fans az 'The Fat Controller', iz aboot to sell NUFC to the Amanda Staveley consortium for a reported £300 million!

We understand that significant progress haz been made ower the last few days az panic haz no doubt 'set in', due to wor alarmin' slide doon the Premyaa Leegue table! 

A 'sell by' date for hiz 'train set' iz said to gan through later this week and be completed by February, with much needed transfor funds bein' supplied by him, which will be paid back when the takeover iz finalised! (£30 million we understand)

Yet again we awaited with baited breath for the outcome!
FINGERS (and TOES!) CROSSED!!!😨

"FAT CONTROLLER OUT!!!"