Monday, 5 March 2012

VILLA RESORVES 4 THE TOON RESORVES 0

Posted 'qwaata to midneet bells' Monday 5th March 2012
Facin' a strong Villa team with a team full of  mostly junior players and players who have been telt that they are to be released at the end of the season, it waz neva gannin to be an easy task and wor second string went doon 4-0 @ Villa Park toneet.

We were let off lightly though az Villa aalso hit the goalframe a total of SIX times! so the scoreline cud have been a lot worse!

Next up iz a resorve derby against the SMBs on thorsday neet @ St James' Park<(and aalways will be!) for the second meetin' with them on home soil in just five days!

THE TOON 1 THE SMBs 1-----HIGH NOON SHOOTOUT!

Updated '10:50 am bells' Monday 5th March 2012

"SEVEN HEAVEN FOR INJURY TIME TORMENTOR!"
"THIRSTY FANS QUEUE FOR A DRINK
IN THE POURIN' RAIN!"
"IT'S QWAATA TO TEN ON A SUNDAY MORNIN'!!!"

A dramatic goal from 'life saver' Shola Ameobi deep into injury time at the end of the match saved face for The Toon and sent the 2,650 SMBs in Level 7 of The Leazes End home to that dark place 'winless' yet again.
Wor '100 Pub Crawl Challenge' started off in 'Sinners' @ 10 bells as the bars in 'The Gate' werent yet open!

We had to wait in a smaall queue for it to open, az it 'p*ssed doon'!,while next door @ 'Sam Jacks' the queues stretched up the road towards 'The Gate' at 'qwaata to ten' az Toon fans waited anxiously for it to open! 

When 'The Gate' finally opened, we 'did' 'Players Bar' and 'Mood' before heedin' for 'The Newcastle Arms' for the final pre match 'gargels'!

THE BIG KICK OFF!
We didn't start off well, but within the forst thorty seconds the SMBs made their intentions known when  Cattamole 'scythed doon' Cheik Tiote in front of the dugoots in wot waz surely an automatic sendin' off for the mackem captain.----But NO!---Mike Dean the ref 'bottled it' and gave him a 'yellow' instead, much to the annoyance of Toon manager 'I Beg Your Pardew' who was just yards from the incident.
This set the tone for the rest of the match as the away side tried to kick seven lumps of sh*te oot of the Toon players!

We then gave away a needless penalty at mid point of the half when Mike Williamson tugged a mackem player shirt in the box and the ref pointed straight to the spot!
The spot kick waz convorted by Bendtner to give them a rare lead against us.

We came close to an equaliser just before the break when Demba 'Ba' heeded against the 'bar' @ The Leazes End, but his effort boonced oot and we went in 1-0 doon at the break.

A different Newcasel came oot for the second half and we laid siege to The Gallowgate goal but couldn't find the equaliser.

The tornin' point of the game came in the 58th minute when Sessegnon elbowed Tiote and he waz given a straight 'red' by Dean to reduce the SMBs to 10 men.
The siege continued on The Gallowgate goal and from this point the mackems hardly got oot of their half.

Shola Ameobi was then brought into the 'fray' when he came on for Cisse in the 72nd minute much to the dread of the visitin' fans. (he's scored quite a few goals against them!)

They were quite right of course az just 10 minutes later in the 82nd minute he was brought doon in the box and again the ref pointed straight to the spot.

Demba Ba took it but his shot was parried away by the mackem keeper and aall hope of avoidin' defeat looked lost!

HOWEVER!---deep into injury time with the SMB hoards whistlin' frantically for the final whistle, Mike Williamson made up for hiz penalty 'gaff' and back heeded the baall to SHOLA (who else!) and he tapped the baall into the net for hiz SEVENTH goal against the mackems, to send 50,000 Geordies wild with delight!

"GOAL!"---"SEVEN HEAVEN FOR SHOLA!"


We even had time for a winner, but Williamson scuffed a shot which went for a corner from the six yard box and soon after this the ref blew for full time!

Aaltogether 9 players were booked to add to the sendin' off and there was a fracas between Moanin' Martin and 'I Beg Your Pardew' on the final whistle, then Cattamole finally got 'his just desserts' and was sent off for abusin' the ref  after the final whistle!
"WHY DON'T YOU F*** OFF BACK TO THE DARK PLACE!?"

Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Williamson, Coloccini, Santon (Ben Arfa 46), Ryan Taylor (Lovenkrands 88), Cabaye, Tiote, Gutierrez, Ba, Cisse (Shola Ameobi the life saver 72!) 

Attendance:52,388 (2,650 SMBs) (this was the highest attendance @ St James' Park <(and aalways will be!) for 36 years!)  

It was then off to complete wor 'pub crawl' for the day and we were in celebratory mood az we left the groond, even though we hadn' t won it!

"THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE ---IZ!---DIVVINT LOSE TO THE SMBs!"

FA VASE DRAW---DUNSTON v STAVELEY IN THE SEMI FINALS FOR A PLACE @ WEMBLEY!

Posted 1:45pm bells' Monday 5th March 2012
FEDERATION PARK---DUNSTON

Northern League side Dunston UTS (The Bad Blue Boys!) have been drawn @ home to Staveley in the forst leg of the semi finals of The FA Vase on Saturday 25th March and then away in the 2nd leg on Saturday 31st March.
The Toon arnt playin' on March 25th (we play WBA away the next day) so it would be great if a few Toon fans cud come alang and cheer 'The Bad Blue Boys' on their way to Wembley!

West Auckland, meanwhile have been drawn away to Herne Bay in the forst leg and then at home the followin' week, which means the possibility of TWO Northern league clubs in the Wembley final in May!

Sunday, 4 March 2012

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IZ! *******WE DIDN'T GET BEAT!****THE TOON 1 THE SMBs 1

Posted '6:50pm bells' Sunday 4th March 2012

At the end of the day the most important thing in life iz!******* not to lose to the SMBs!

Match report to follow on Monday mornin' when aa finally sober up!

THE TOON v THE SMBs----HIGH NOON!---DERBY DAY IZ HERE AT LAST!

Posted '8:00am bells' Sunday 4th March 2012
"THE BIG PICTURE FOR THE BIG DAY!"

Derby day iz apon us once again and in just fower hours time we kick off against the SMBs in the high noon shootout @ St James' Park< (and aalways will be!)

'THE STRAWBERRY' CREST
IN THE SHADOWS OF
THE GALLOWGATE END
Because of the 'high noon bells' kick off time 'The Geordie Times 100 Pub Crawl Challenge' will anly have time to de one new bar before the match, namly 'The Players Bar' in 'The Gate' which opens @ '10 bells'
There are othat boozers open orlier, namely The Strawberry @ 9:00 bells' and others we cannot mention coz they opened at '6 am bells' for unscheduled lock-ins!

The Pub Crawl will continue afta the match aroond the Greys Monument area>>>>>>>>>>>>

Match report to follow much! much! later than usual! 

Saturday, 3 March 2012

A STAR IZ REBORN!

Posted '9:00pm bells' Saturday 3rd March 2012

Aa waz waalkin' doon Westgate Road puttin' 'the feelers oot' for any new drinkin dens that a'd missed on mee travels for 'The Geordie Times 100 Pub Crawl Challenge'---when!----lights hit me from the direction of the aa'd 'Star Bar', which haz been shut for aall of this season, and guess wot???---the doors were open--so!--- (az yi de!) aa went in for a quick 'gargel' and to find oot the latest 'crack'!

The barman telt iz that it had just reopened yesterday and that it waz open @ '11 bells' Sunday for the pre match 'derby' drinks!

Now 'The Star', yoo see!--- waz one of mee fave 'haunts' in the 1970s when fans wud celebrate a home win by dancin' on the bar coonta and tables, much to the indifference of 'Robbie' the manager! (who sadly iz ne langer with us!)

A 'class' bar back then and aa have to say that it's great to see it 'back on the circuit'!

We'll give it 'a miss' for now, but we will come back when we near the 'moontain peak' of 100 'waaterin holes', before crossin' it 'off the list'!

"WOR JACKIE'S GANNIN YEM!"

Posted '1:30pm bells' Saturday 3rd March 2012
"HORRAY!---A'M GANNIN YEM AT LAST!"

News that the Jackie Milburn statue, currently on St James' Boulevard, is finally 'comin' home' iz great news for aall Toon fans!

Originally positioned in Northumberland Street for some puzzlin' reason? (he neva played there az far as we're aware?) and then moved to it's present site some time ago, when Blenheim Street became St James' Boulevard, it iz now to be placed ootside 'The Gallowgate End', opposite 'The Strawberry'

'The Gallowgate End' was Wor Jackie's favourite end of the groond, so it's anly fittin' that he shud finally end up there!

Thursday, 1 March 2012

HIGH NOON SABBETH SHOOT OUT!---ONLY! 24 HOURS FROM HIGH NOON!

Updated 'high noon bells' Saturday 3rd March 2012

WHAT'S IN A NAME!
146th MEETIN' IN 124 YEARS!--- FROM NEWCASTLE ROAD TO ST JAMES' PARK! <(AND AALWAYS WILL BE!)
"DO NOT FORSAKE ME, OH MY DARLING!" 

There are now less than 24 hours 'til (deep breath!)>'The St James' Sabbeth Showdown Shootout' >(try sayin' that 'quadtruple tongue twister' afta drinkin 20 pints of Fosters/Broon ale!) when The Toon take on the SMBs in the 146th Tyne/wear derby---

Derby day stats (competitive games)
The 1st meetin' between the clubs took place 124 years ago in 1888 @ NEWCASTLE ROAD! which was, unbelievableee! the name of the SMBs' groond at that time! (honest!)
The Toon have won 53 times, drawn 46 times and lost 46 times.
*(1n 1888 we were caalled Newcastle East End before amalgamatin' with Newcastle West End in 1892 to become Newcastle United)
In the Premier League we have played them 19 times with The Toon winnin' 9 times, drawn 6 times and lost anly 3 times! 
We have scored a total of  219 goals and conceded 212 goals.

On the advice/ insistence of 'Dibble' and in a 'tit for tat' exercise the SMBs will have a followin' of 2,700 housed in 'Level 7' of 'The Leazes'
This iz the same number of tickets that WE were given for wor game @ the SOS orlier this season (which WE won 1-0 by the way!)(Ryan Taylor goal!)

GROOND NUMBER 030--- NEW ARCHIVE REPORT NOW ONLINE

Posted '9:20am bells' Thorsday 1st March 2012

Thorty eight years ago this month we played Bornley @ Hillsborough in the semis of the FA Cup.
The Geordie Times archive report from this game iz now online below and can aalso be seen in the latest edition of 'Mad-Micks' fanzine 'Black and White Daft', which iz on sale at the weekend from 'The Back Page Shop' in St Andrews Street (opposite Newcastle Arms boozer) and aall good paper shops @ two an' a half quid a copy!

030 hillsborough sheffield (v burnley)

(GROUND NUMBER 30)


Date of First Visit: 30th MARCH 1974


HILLSBOROUGH, SHEFFIELD


BURNLEY 0 

NEWCASTLE UNITED 2 (MacDonald 2)



F.A. CUP SEMI FINAL---ATTENDANCE 55,000 (30,000 plus Toon fans)







"SUPERMAC BURNS THE GRASS!"


"GOAL!"---SUPERMAC SCORES AGAINST BURNLEY


The build up tih this game started a week orlier when tickets went on sale at St. James', on the day after wi'd drew one's each with Leicester in a League game.


Some fans had even left the game at HALF TIME? tih be forst in the queue! and mek sure of their 'precious' semi-final tickets!.


Me and mee mates wornt THAT daft, and wih went on the hoy after the game, retornin' anly when they'd hoyed us oot the 'Star' in Westgate Road, at chuckin' oot time!


Wih joined the huge queue at midneet on Barrack Road and tih keep waam some fans had ripped the fences doon in the nearby allotments tih mek 'bonfires' on the path!.


Eleven lang hours later the ticket office opened and after the mad rush when they opened the gates, we were in possession of the 'priceless' £1:00! standin' tickets for the Penistone Road Terrace!.


It sez a lot for the futbaall stadiums of tihday, that Hillsborough in the mid seventies was probably the best club groond in Britain!.


And this is a place that had one cantilever stand (considered tih be the best stand in Europe at the time!) a wooden Main Stand with nee cover at the front, the ill fated Lepping Lane Stand where the Burnley fans were hoosed that day (which aalso had nee cover at the front) and the huge uncovered Penistone Road Terrace where most of the Toon contingent were massed (the aanly 'end' in futbaall with a male sex organ in it's name!)


Wi'd travelled doon on the train tih Wadsley Bridge Station which lies on the steep hill above Hillsborough.


Ower 30,000 fans had travelled doon from Tyneside that day which included quite a few who had tickets for the Burnley end and everybody was convinced that wi'd dee it!.


Once off the train we went in search of a 'drinkin' den' and heeded for the city centre az aall the boozers aroond the groond seemed tih be shut!?----BUT! oh no they were'nt!


They WERE open, but anly for the locals who could be seen through the frosted glass, enjoyin' an 'Arthur' or two behind locked doors!.


Wih seen a 'Dibble' and asked him where wih could get a 'gargel', and he pointed us in the direction of a windy lane and he said there was a boozaa aboot qwaata of a mile away, that would sorve us!.


An aad 'wifey' owerhord the conversation and chased after us tih tell wih that the anly thing at the bottom of the lane was a farmers field!. (Are'nt our policemen w******!)(the last word is'nt 'wonderful', by the way!)


And so it was off to the nearest bus stop tih catch a bus tih the 'big city', tih try and find a 'gargel-stop'! tih quench wor tonsils!.


An 'aad biddy' on the bus said that shih hoped that wi'd get beat!. When we asked hor why?, shih said that, because of us, shi'd had tih wait three qwaataz of an hour for a bus!. (There's logic in that---somewhere?) (Hope the dye comes oot of hor 'blue rinse'!)


On wor arrival, and after wanderin' aboot like 'heedless chickens', wih eventually foond one who would let wih in, and stayed there for the 'duration', az it looked like bein' the anly place that wi'd get in tee!.


It was then off tih the match----the biggest day so far in mee Toon Travellin' Career!.


The atmosphere when wih got in the groond was the best a'd ever experienced and the shear mass of the Toon fans on that huge terrace was somethin' aall aalways remember.


(Sommik else that aall aallways remember was the kidda standin' in front of iz, who was gettin' a 'slash' against a crash barrier, and the spray was splashin' aall ower the back of this well dressed gadgies flannels!, who was totally oblivious tih what was gannin on!)


There were black 'n' white flags everywhere and of course in them days it was aalmost 'compulsary' tih wear a scarf or wooly hat to a game.


When the 'Blaydon Races' was sung, the whole end waved their scarves and banners and it was hard tih see anythin' at aall on the pitch.


Luckily, the game had'nt started yet so meesel and 'Dylan' foond a good vantage point in the middle of the 'mass' and waited for 'battle to commence'!.


Quite a few who could'nt get tickets from Newcastle had travelled doon tih Lancashire tih buy tickets from Turf Moor, such was the demand for tickets!. (Burnley could'nt sell aall theirs?)




Of course, back then, the demand for tickets was even higher than what it would be nuw, coz the game was'nt live on 'the box'!. (The anly way that the 'armchair brigade' could see the game, was by watchin' the highlights on 'Match of the Day' at ten p.m. bells!)


Infact!---the anly domestic club game that WAS televised in them days was the final itself!. (Yeez youngins divvint naa yiz are born, these days!)

The players ran oot to a rapturous reception with nearly aall the noise comin' from the Newcastle fans.


Burnley must have won the toss and they made the Toon kick towards wor own fans in the forst half!, obviously hopin' that this would be tih their advantage come full time!.


It aalso meant of course, that THEY had tih kick towards there own fans for the openin' 45 minutes!.


It looked az though their 'tactics' had paid off in the forst period az 'The Clarets' had more of the play and the Toon worryingly looked owerawed by the ocassion, tih say the least!.


After the break the Toon seemed like a re-vitalised side and went 'hell for leather' tih break the deedlock.


This happened after trememdous pressure from the 'black 'n' whites', when Pat Howard sent 'Supermac' through with a lang baall and he left his marker standin' az he bore doon on the Bornley keeper. 'Mac' shot and it reboonded off him and back to 'Mac', who calmly drove the baall yhem with his RIGHT foot! ('Supermac' was a 'left-footer' by nature, so tih score with his other 'peg' was an huge bonus, tih say the least!)


The roar from the Toon fans on 'Macs' opener must have been hord back on Tyneside! az 'The Army' celebrated!.


Just after this, McFaul, in the Newcastle goal made a tremendous save to deny Bornley. And then 'Supermac' struck again tih book wor coverted place at the 'Twin Towers'.

Terry Hibbitt sent him clear and ah swear blind that he 'burnt the grass', such was his speed az he 'scorched' towards the 'Leppings Lane' goal.


A well placed shot intih the corner of the net sealed it for us and the crowd went 'BALLISTIC'! az he torned, with arms raised and DID! he 'milk' the occasion!, and the scenes at the final whistle az fans hoyed their scarves to the triumphant players had tih be seen tih be believed!. (AH!---MEMORIES!)


We were gannin tih Wembley for the sixth time in an FA Cup Final and had NEVER lost one there!


SO THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NEE WAY WE COULD LOSE IT!---“NEE WAY!”---“NEE WAY!”. 

                 

('ER'!---DON'T read on!---pleeze!---pleeze!!)“





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