NO JUSTICE FOR BEN ARFA!

Posted '11:00 am bells' Wednesday 11th January 2012

'THE RONNY GILL'---THE INSIDE! BACK PAGE ON MONDAY

'The Geordie Times' haz been 'simmerin' with rage for a few days now, aboot wor disgraceful coverage in the local press and ITV's coverage of wor FA Cup game on Saturday and now iz the time to 'have a rant'!

"Now that the dust haz settled ower Hatem Ben Arfa's 'wonder goal' at the weekend against Blackborn, when he beat SIX players to score, we ask the question, just why waz it given such little 'air time' on the ITV FA Cup highlights show on Saturday neet and Sunday mornin'???"

"A total of FIVE seconds waz shown and NE REPEATS!?, before they briefly showed Spidermans winner (Gutierrez) and then they quickly moved on to the next game!
Mebeez we should be thankful that such brief highlights were broadcast, az we divvint want the so caalled 'big boys' nickin' him in the transfor window!" (THIS is still a possibility of course!)

"Then we had 'The Ronny Gill's back page main photo on Monday of  'WAYNE F******' ROONEY! kissin' 'the badge' az he celebrated one of hiz goals against Man City!----WHILE!----Ben Arfa and Spiderman's celebrations were 'relegated' to the INSIDE back pages!
And this iz supposed to be Newcastle's main paper for goodness sake!" (now printed in Smogland by the way!) (perhaps they shud rename it 'The ROONEY Gill'!)

"ITV showed extended highlights of at least HALF AN HOUR! of both the Swindon v Wigan and Fleetwood v Blackpool cup games, which included a lang discussion on Paul Ince's son who plays for Blackpool--by!---PAUL INCE!!---but NE! mention at aall of 'ye naa who'???"

"Even the national press commented on it!" (see the article below taken from 'The Mail')

TUESDAY'S DAILY MAIL

"It's an absolute disgrace if you ask us!"

Footnote for non Geordie reeders:
'The Ronny Gill' iz the name given to The Newcastle Evening Chronicle newspaper by Geordies, az street paper sellers shout oot "CHRON-ICLE!", which soonds like "RONNY-GILL!" to the trained Geordie ear!---so nuw yi naa!

NEWSFLASH!!!------THE TOON RESORVES 3 v WIGAN RESORVES 1--RESULT---BEHIND CLOSED DOORS! (AGAIN!)

Updated '3:30 pm bells' Tuesday 10th January 2012

For the thord resorve leegue home game in a row we played 'behind closed doors' against Wigan this afternoon @ Darsley Park!
Az usual under theeze circumstances, we sent 'by air' (at great expense!), wor intrepid  'Stop the Pigeon' reporter, who flew ower the action and 'winged' this 'exclusive' match report back to The Geordie Times Heed Office , second hand!---forst!

'Stop the Pigeon'---in his own words:
"The Toon won 3-1. Cooocooo!---Remie Streete kneed the baall into the net from a Dan Gosling cross to open the scorin' in the forst half!
Wigan equalised in the 66th minute but we fought back and fortha goals from Brad Inman fower minutes later with a low shot and trialist Jason Prior, who fired in from 10 yards oot in front of wor manager 'I Beg Your Pardew', to seal the victory!---Cccoooooo"

(It's just a pity we couldn't gan worsels and give you the report forst hand!---second!) 

"KING OF THE CASTLE!"---THE USA 3,000 CLUB!

Posted '8:10 pm bells' Monday 9th January 2012

"HANDS UP!---IF YI LOVE 'THE TOON'!"

Yet anotha milestone haz been reached today az wor great American cousins from across 'the pond' have just logged on to 'The Geordie Times' for the THREE THOOSANDTH time!

It doesn't seem like two minutes since the 'USA Geordies' paid their two thoosandth visit and they have, by far and away, the highest number of pageviews we have received from ootside the UK in wor aall time list.

The Top Ten owerseas visitors are az follows:
(Up to and includin' ' 8 bells' toneet!)

United States of America***3,002 hits
Republic of Ireland***571
Greece***563
Germany***405

"TAKE ME TO
YOUR LEADER!"
"WHEY AYE MAAAN!"

Nigeria***259
Holland***199
Australia***176
Russia***146
Canada***138
Mars***100! (& coontin'!)>

FA CUP DRAW!---SOOTH COAST!---OR!---NORTH WALES!

Posted '7:15 pm bells' Sunday 8th January 2012

AMEX?

The FA Cup fourth roond draw haz paired us with eetha Championship side BRIGHTON or non leegue WREXHAM away!

Brighton would be 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' prefored choice az we've NEVA been to their new Amex groond before, whereaz, we HAVE been to The Racecourse Groond, Wrexham. 
We have very bad memories of wor last FA Cup visit to North Wales az we lost 4-1 there in 1978!

OR!---RACECOURSE?

We'll be lookin' with great interest for the result of this replay which will take place on Tuesday 17th January @ Wrexham---"COME ON BRIGHTON!"

THE TOON 2 TANDOORI CHICKEN ROVERS 1

Posted '11:00 am bells' Sunday 8th January 2012

TOON FRY THE CHICKENS!

A last gasp goal from Spiderman saved the day for us and prevented an unwanted extra jorney across the Pennines via Brough and Kikby Stephen for a replay @ Ewood Park.

In complete contrast to wor game against Man U on Wednesday the forst half was absolutleee terrible and typical of The Toon in the FA Cup!

With man of the moment Demba Ba missin' through African Cup duty and Shola on the subs bench, we had ne recognised centre forward to put the baall in the net! (Tiote was missin' az well, az he iz aallso on African Cup duty)

The bottom club in the premya leegue actually took the lead in the 35th minute when Goodwillie (glad it's not my surname!) stabbed the baall home @ The Gallowgate End to gan in one-nil at the break.

Level 7 wasn't open for this game and there were large gaps in the lower section az well, not helped by the fact that Blackborn had anly brung a pathetic 300 or so to the game! (many decided to boycott it, in protest at the Indian board (who famously own a chain of tandoori chicken takaways!) and (of course!) because of their beleagered manager Steve Keen!---great supporters---"EH!?")

Things livened up in the second period followin' a 56th minute substitution which saw Shola replace Obertan who was oot of sorts and he made a difference straight away.
However!--it was a Ben Arfa wonder goal in the 70th minute that saved the day, when he he beat aboot six Rovers players and hit a left footed 'rocket shot' which flew past their keeper to level the scores.

THE BLACKBORN TEAM LINE-UP!
(AFTA THE MATCH!)

And then deep into injury time when a replay looked certain, and just like in the comic book stories, SPIDERMAN popped up (Gutierrez) and after a 'one-two' with Leon Best he chipped the baall into the corner of the net to finally 'fry' The Tandoori Chickens of Blackborn and send us wild with relief!---and into the fourth roond draw!

It cud anly happen to us!

Toon team: Krul, Simpson (R Taylor 60), Williamson, Coloccini, Santon, Gutierrez, Abeid (Gosling 87), Cabaye, Obertan (Shola Ameobi 56), Ben Arfa, Best  

Attendance: 30,876 (300 Tandoori Chickenites!)

'Geordie Times 100 Pub Crawl Challenge' update to follow later!

TWENTY ONE TODAY!

Posted '10:00 pm bells' Saturday 7th January 2012

FORST OF AALL"!----We came back from 1-0 doon to win 2-1 in a (less than!) thrillin' FA Cup tie this afternoon!
Yi'll have to excuse me---but a'v had rather tooooo much 'liquid lubrication' this afternoon on wot haz torned oot to be a very special day!
Full and comreeehensive match report to follow tomorrow mornin when aa sober up! 
In the meeentime we have anotha landmark to celebrate? in The Geordie Times latest 'attendance' figures!
(see below!)

The Geordie Times haz 'come of age' az we have just received wor 21,000th hit and we (yet again!) thank aall of you for 'bloggin in' to this site

Recent visitors include: TANZANIA---ALGERIA---COSTA RICA and JORDON---"HELLO! TO AALL OF YOO!"

THE TOON v THE TANDOORI CHICKEN ROVERS

Posted '8:50 am bells' Saturday 7th January 2012

CAN WE REPEAT WOR FA CUP VICTORY FROM 102 YEARS AGO!?
(The dogs name iz 'REX' by the way!)

Today @ '3 bells' we face the bottom club in the premya leegue in the FA Cup 3rd roond @ St James' Park.
Nuw yoo might think we are tekin' the p*ss by caallin' them the above name, but it just gans to show that if you get the wrang owners runnin' your club you're in deep! deep! trouble az the relegation bound Rovers of Blackborn will ne doubt testify!

The Indian based 'Venkys Tandoori Chicken Takeaways', who own their club (hence wor new name for them!) havvent got a f*****' clue aboot futbaall and they even admitted that they'd NEVA even been to a futbaall match in their lives!, before they bought Blackborn, which sez it aall aboot just who iz runnin' wor clubs theeeze days!

Indeed board meetings are conducted from somewhere on the Indian sub continent by 'video link' and az we aall naa, the fans? arnt happy with the 'Jock manager' they appointed, when they sacked Big Fat Sam ower a year ago!

Level 7 iz shut for this game az a smaallish crowd iz antisipated, with the visitors expected to bring up less than 1,000 diehards, who will ne doubt slag of their beleaguered manager at the forst opportunity!

Many Rovers fans (sorry!--Tandoori Chickenites!) are plannin' to boycott the game and follow cash-strapped local non leegue side Chorley instead! (great supporters!--"EH!?")

On paper, we shud win, BUT! this iz NUFC and the FA CUP! we are taalkin' aboot, so we'll take nowt for granted!---Lets just hope we are in the 4th roond draw on Sunday!

Ne news of wot the team might be, yet!?


'The Geordie Times100 Pub Crawl Challenge' today, will start off @ 'The Villa Vic' in Rye Hill, which iz off the beaten track a bit, but STILL within the 20 minute waalkin' distance limit from the groond. (Rules are rules!---every pub we visit MUST be within 20 mins of the groond!)

We havvent been in this pub for at least 30 years! and ne doubt it will have changed a bit since the last time we were here!? (Aboot 'six bob' a pint back then!---me thinx?) (30 pence!)
This will be waaterin' hole number SIXTY incidentleee!) (hope it's still open!?)

Match and pub crawl report to follow much later toneet az usual

THE TOON 3 THE COCKNEY REDS of SALFORD 0 !

Updated '12:30 pm bells' Thorsday 5th January 2012

An absolutleee brilliant performance and result from 'the black 'n' whites' who (literally!) BLEW  'The Cockney boys' away in the gale force conditions!.
Wearin' wor new 'Virgin Money' logo on the front of wor shirts we kicked off towards The Leazes End and it was obvious from the word 'go' that we were gannin for 'the jugular'

Demba Ba (centre of picture) volleys home

Who else but wor hero of the moment Demba Ba to open the scorin' with a fantastic forst goal on the half hour mark. He hit a thunderous volley that gave Lindegaard in the visitors goal 'ne chance' az the baall rocketed past him into the net! 

Yohan Cabaye (2nd Toon player from right) scores 2nd goal

A Yohan Cabaye free kick orly in the second period @ The Gallow-gate End doubled wor advantage az the wind howled and rain came 'doon in buckets'!
His superb effort from the edge of the box hit the underside of the bar 'Geoff  Hurst style' and ricocheted ower the goal line to give us breathin' space. (divvint naa if the linesman was Russian?---but he gave it!)

'Hair Transplant Man' Rooney and the rest of the Man U team looked totally devastated and their misery was completed in the final minute with a brilliant heeded own goal by Phil Jones, which left Lindegaard stranded az the wind blew the baall into the empty net! The look on hiz face said it aall---("Will Fergie EVER pick me again!")

Phil Jones heeds past his own keeper for The Toon's 3rd goal 

Lang before the end there were huge empty gaps in the Cockney Reds Supporters Club seats in Level 7
(It's a lang way to London and Cornwall yi naa!) and their normally noisy support was reduced to deathly silence and anly aboot 1,000 of them remained 'til the final whistle!

If a'd telt you before the match that we would win 3-0 you would have said that I was 'VIRGIN ON THE RIDICULOUS'!

Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Williamson, Coloccini, Santon, R Taylor, Cabaye (Perch 79), Tiote, Gutierrez, Ba (Obertan 90), Shola Ameobi (Best 75)  

Attendance: 52,299 (3,000 unhappy Londoners/Cornishmen/Welshmen/etc/etc!)

The front page of toneets 'Ronny Gill' sez it aall!

THE TOON v THE COCKNEY REDS of SALFORD

Updated '3:15 pm bells' Wednesday 4th January 2012

STRAWBERRY PLACE***THE STRAWBERRY PUB
& THE GALLOWGATE END  @ NEET!

In a few hours time we face Man U toneet @ St James' in a '8:00 bells' start, which iz live on Sky.
A selloot 52,000 plus crowd will be in the groond includin' aroond 3,000 from 'god naaz where' to follow The Salford Boys in level 7 of The Leazes End.


Toon probable team line up: Krul, Simpson, Coloccini, Williamson, Ryan Taylor, Obertan, Tiote, Cabaye, Gutierrez, Ba, Best

There have been some crazy and unexpected scorelines durin' the Xmas period, not least the bottom club Blackborn's win against toneets opponents @ 'The Theatre of Muppets'

News that we cud have a new sponsor on the front of wor shirts toneet have reached us by carrier pigeon and we understand that the 'Northern Rock' logo cud be replaced by the 'Virgin Money' logo instead! (better that!, than a certain sports company brand that waz rumoured---"EH!")

'The Geordie Times 100 pub crawl challenge' continues @ Lloyds Bar in 'The Gate', if anybody wants to join us in wor thirst quenchin' quest this afternoon (bar number 55 on the list!)
(Click onto '100 pub crawl challenge' @ top of page for photos of aall the 'liquid lubrication locations' visited so far!)

Match and pub crawl report to follow much later!

NEWSFLASH!

Updated '1:15 pm bells' Tuesday 3rd January 2012

The Geordie Times can exclusivleee reveeel (second hand!) that toneets resorves game @ Blue Flames, Benton against 'The Cockney Reds of Salford' haz been POSTPONED!---SO!---divvint gan!
We can anly assume that it's because of the gale force winds that are sweepin' Tyneside az I write this, az I look across 'the sacred river'!

More on this to follow later, when we find oot why? (second hand of course!)

Updated '1:40 pm bells'
Just foond oot that A WAATERLOGGED PITCH iz the reason the match haz been caalled off!

Northern League toneet!
'The Bad Blue Boys' v 'The Bay City Rollers'  

Coz the Toon resorve match haz been caalled off we've decided to take in 'The Bad Blue Boys v 'The Bay City Rollers' derby between Dunston UTS (The Fed) and Whitley Bay toneet instead @ Federation Park, (aka UTS Park) Dunston (on the way to the Metro Centre from the A1)

A good crowd is antisipated az 'The Bay' aalways bring a good followin'
Kick off iz @ '7:30 bells', so get yerselz alang if yiv nowt better to de! (admission is a fiver and half price for concessions)

Posted '10:30 pm bells'
Full time: The entertainin' derby match ended 'one's a piece' in front of an estimated 250 crowd, played in freeeezin' conditions!