Friday, 26 August 2011

SCUNNY 1 THE TOON 2 (After extra time) LEAGUE CUP 2nd ROOND

Posted '7:15 am bells Friday 26th August 2011

Despite wor best efforts to 'self destruct' The Toon eventually came through this one with a two one win in extra time @ Glanford Park in front of the live TV cameras.

We were absolutleee shockin' in the forst half and the home side took the lead in the 14th minute when Dagnell stabbed the baall past Tim Krul in The Toon goal.
It stayed that way until the the 80th minute when 'mackem hero' Ryan Taylor stepped up for a virtually identical free kick to his one five days previously to hammer the baall home into the corner of the net to send the 1,000 travellin' faithful behind that goal wild with delight.

Extra time beckoned and we took the lead in the 112th minute when 'super sub' Sammy Ameobi weaved aroond the Scunny defence to send an unstopable piledriver into the roof of the net givin' the home keeper 'ne chance!
This torned oot to be the winner and the 'Sky vultures' flew off into the night as we 'flew' back alang the 'M180' in antisipation of the thord roond draa on Saturday!
Attendance:4,408 (estimated 1,000 Toon fans)

Thursday, 25 August 2011

SCUNNY v THE TOON---TONEET!

Posted '9:15 am bells' Thorsday 25th August 2011
"Season ticket holders & members only!"
Toneet we face 'Scunny' away in the League Cup @ their Glanford Park 'bus-shelter' groond (7:45 bells)and the match iz live on Sky

Because of the pitch invasion @ 'Darlo' in pre season, tickets were restricted to season ticket holders and club members only and NONE were on sale to the general public, with NO tickets on sale on the day of the match at 'Scunny' eetha!

I was in the ticket office on Tuesday afternoon and was told that anly 700 tickets had been sold of wor 2,500 allocation by then, and that 'Scunny' had anly selt 2,000 themsels!
(No tickets were available on Wednesday as we'd sent them back by then!?)

On one hand aa can see the clubs point, but to tar every non season ticket holder and non member with the same brush is very unfortunate indeed and it will be very interestin' to see just how many Toon fans are actually there Toneet?

Match report to follow when aa get back!

A'v done an archive match report from when we played them in the FA Cup back in 1974 @ The Old Show Groond and this iz posted below


028 old show ground scunthorpe


(GROUND NUMBER 28)
Date of First Visit: 30th JANUARY 1974
THE OLD SHOW GROUND, SCUNTHORPE

SCUNTHORPE UNITED 0
NEWCASTLE UNITED 3 (Barrowclough, MacDonald 2)

F.A. CUP FOURTH ROUND, REPLAY

ATTENDANCE 19,028 (est 3,000 Toon fans)



"STAND AND DELIVER!"






The thing ah remember most aboot this jorney tih deepest Lincolnshire, was the heated argument the bus driver had with this bloke, who demanded five pence (or whatever it was!) tih cross a toll bridge ower the River Ouse in Selby, on wor way tih the match.


The driver was gannin 'off it' and refused tih pay up at forst, but in the end he had tih 'cough up the lowwy' az the gadgy in the toll booth said that it would add thorty odd miles tih his jorney if he went the 'lang way roond!'---and!---besides, he could'nt get past the barrier across the road anyway!---and!---(on top iv aall that!), he was haadin aall the traffic up iz well---and!---had a half mile jam behind him!.

(Nee 'M62' in them days!)



"IT'S HIGHWAY ROBBERY!", wor (nuw!) porple faced driver shouted at him, az he (literally!) hoyed 'the bit' in his direction!.

The toll barrier was then raised, but not before another volley of insults towards the toll collecter.

"WHAT'S YIH NAME--LIKE!---DICK F***** TURPIN!", he added sarcastically, az he revved the engine and drove the bus ower the bridge, nearly borstin' a blood vessel in the process!.



By the time he'd calmed doon, (aboot an hour later!) wi'd reached wor destination and parked up beside the groond.

After some 'gargels' in the local hostelries, it was time tih gan tih the match and aboot twenty of us mistakenly paid intih the 'Scunny' end.

(The match was'nt aall ticket)



Ah say 'mistakenly', coz their fans didn't take kindleee to wor presence and started kickin' doon the corrigated fence at the back of the 'shed' tih hoy at us, alang with bricks, stones an' the odd (empty!) bottle!.

In other words---they did'nt look too friendly! and it was time tih mek a 'sharp exit!', az we were ootnumbered by aboot twenty tih one- an' besides, ah had tih gan tih 'graft' the next day!.



We were escorted aroond the pitch by 'The Dibble', tih the Toon end behind the other goal just in time tih see the teams run oot.

This was a replay, az the forst match at St. James' had ended one's each with Terry McDermott gettin' wor goal in front of (just under) thorty nine thoosand.

This game was played in front of (just ower) nineteen thoosand who were shoehorned intih The Old Show Groond which was near the centre of 'Scunny'.





Two goals from Supermac and one from Stewee Barrowclough were enough to give us victory in a one sided game and wor visit to 'The Old Show' was NOT the cup shock that everybody had predicted.

After the match az wih left the hallowed delights of 'The Old Show', little realisin', that az well az wor forst visit, it would aalso be wor last visit there. (It's nuw (predictably!) a supermarket!)



The driver drove wih back---NOT!---via Selby and the dreaded toll bridge---BUT!---via York (where Dick Turpin actually came from!) and an extra thorty odd mile jorney intih the bargain!.

(And not a toll bridge tih be seen aall the way yem!)



("THE F***** TIGHT FISTED BASTARD!")





©Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper!)



Wednesday, 24 August 2011

MUPPET & STEPTOE TICKET RIPOFF NEWS !

Posted '10:30 am bells' Wednesday 24th August 2011

'Geordie Times' club 
insider haz just informed us that wor trip to 'Steptoe & Son land' on Monday week will cost us the princelee sum of FORTY SEVEN QUID! to get in!
Not az much az the first reported FIFTY QUID we were origionally told, but still an ootragous amoont for a 'tuppence haapny club'!
(Perhaps they shud change their name to Queens Park Ripoffs!) (PS: "Err!" Just foond oot that their new owner haz dropped the ticket prices to a 'mere' FORTY QUID!) 

However! (and not to be outdone!) we have aalso hord that we WILL break the FIFTY QUID barrier for the forst time ever, when we gan to 'The Theatre of Muppets' in November to play The Cockney Reds!

Meanwhile! Villa are to charge us the ridiculously low price of anly FORTY THREE QUID to get into their place!

FOR THE FORST TIME EVER, YOO HORD THE NEWS FORST! IN 'THE GEORDIE TIMES'

Monday, 22 August 2011

"TAKIN' THE P*SS!"

Updated '9:00 pm bells' Monday 22nd August 2011
"EVERY PICTURE TELLS A STORY!"

Followin' wor fantastic win in the 'High Noon' derby' , 'The Geordie Times' can exclusively report that there was fierce riotin' in sund'lind before, durin' and after the match!
It haz been wildly reported that 2,640 looters from 'The Toon' broke into the South Stand at the SOS on Saturday and took the anly thing worth takin'!?----------------------  "THE P*SS!"

Sunday, 21 August 2011

TILL DEATH US DO PART!------BROKEN NOSE BRUCE'S SMB's 0 THE GEORDIE BOYS 1 !

Posted '7:00 am bells' Sunday 21st August 2011
"ONE-NIL TO THE GEORDIE BOYS!"

Joyous news from The Stadium of "SSHHH!!!" (yee naa wot!) when a Ryan Taylor free kick flew into the net to seal a fantastic 1-0 win for The Toon against the SMB!
Apologies for not bloggin last neet but aa was rather ineeebreeated! az yi might guess, alang with the otha 2,639 Toon fans who were at the game! Attendance:47,751 (45,111 VERY! SMB!)

Special thanx to Alf Garnetts Travel for the fleet of 'luxury' school busses which ferried us to and from the match at less than snail like pace (10 mph max speed!) 

Az Alf would no doubt say---
"A TEAM IS FOR LIFE!---TILL DEATH US DO PART!"

I have to tell yoo however!, that the mackem manager was in defiant mood afta the match and he's penned this little ditty to rally the SMB troops!

"My name iz 'Broken Nose Bruce' and aa'll sing you a song!"
"We lost to The Mags by a goal to none!"
"I'm in dispair!--it's all gone wrong!"
"sund'linds a massive club!"

"Don't pick on me---or I'll tell my mam!"
"If you want a fight---I'll send Steve Cram!"
"We've got 'wearside Jack' -----celebrity fan!"
"sund'linds a massive club!"

Broken Nose Bruce 20th August 2011

A TOON FAN (not in picture!) CELEBRATES AFTA THE MATCH!

I've got to gan to work now---but much more to follow later toneet!---"YAHOOOO!!!"

Saturday, 20 August 2011

HIGH NOON DERBY DAY!---SMB v THE TOON

Posted '7:45 am bells' Saturday 20th August 2011

The big day haz finally arrived and a'm off to a boozer within hocklin distance of St James' Park, (which aa carnt name, coz he's openin' orly!) for a few 'gargels', before catchin' the 10 mph 'tortoise travel' bus convoy to the SOS, for the high noon shootout!

Lets hope it's a goodin!

Match report to follow much later!

Friday, 19 August 2011

HIGH NOON DERBY---TICKET FIASCO---ONE! DAY TO GAN!----------SMB v THE TOON derby match reports from 1967 & 1970

Posted (just after!) 'high noon bells' Friday 18th August 2011

Meesel, 'Grumpy Stumpy', 'Scott of the Antarctic' and 'Norman the Cowboy Plumber' applied for seats together in the 'Friends and Family' ticket scheme and instead of sittin' together we are scattered aall aroond the away section of the SOS!???
I suppose we shud be grateful of even gettin' a ticket as 'Sarny Steve' has just 'text' to say that he hasn't even got his ticket yet, despite havin' ower THREE TIMES as many 'loyalty points' as needed to apply for one!

For my aan porsonal record and providin' aa get there?, this will be mee 41st consecutive League derby that aa'll have seen home and away since 1967.  
Me forst away derby was just before the torn of the new year in December '67' and aa'v reprinted the archive 'match report' from that game below!

(Scroll forther doon for the archive match report @ 'Joker' from 1970)

*ON THIS DAY in 1978 we played Millwaall in the notorious game @The Den which is still taalked aboot til this day ! (click on 'popular posts all time'  (045 the den, millwall) in the reet hand side thumbnail for match report >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Thursday, 18 August 2011

BLACK AND WHITE DAFT---ISSUE 5

Posted '4:00 pm bells' Thorsday 18th August 2011

Issue 5 of the Toon fanzine 'Black and White Daft' iz nuw on sale and there's several articles aboot the forthcomin' derby on Saturday and it includes 'The Geordie Times' archive report of 'The Easter Uprisin' derby' from 1970.

It's on sale from The Back Page Shop, which iz opposite The Newcastle Arms in St Andrews Street and within eeezy 'hocklin distance' of St James' Park. It's well worth a reeeeed!

The Geordie Times 1970 archive report iz printed below! ( Scroll doon!)

HIGH NOON DERBY---TWO! DAYS TO GAN!

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 18th August 2011


There are nuw exactleee 2 days to gan before 'the high noon shootout' @ The Stadium of "SSHHH!!!" (yee naa wot!) . This iz the 145th meetin' between the clubs and The Toon lead
57-45  (47 draws)

ARCHIVE GROUNDS MATCH REPORT LIST