THE TOON V K LEEGUE SOOOTH KOREA IN SOOOTH KOREA

 Posted ‘midneet 🛎️ bells’ Wedinzday 30th July 2025

SPOT THE TYNE BRIDGE!???🤔⬆️⬇️

The Toon play wor 2nd game of the Asian tour at dinnaatime today (8:00pm 🛎️ bells in Korea) and will be sporting wor new green strip, complete (so we are told!) with the Tyne Bridge arch incorporated into the design?

Honestly! it looks nowt like wor famous landmark az far az we can see! 👀 (Who are they tryin to kid?)

Anyway! the game kicks off at ‘high noon bells 🔔 tomorrow and az far az we are aware, it will shown in just 3 venues, Wonderbar in The Gate, The Stack and Shearer’s bar, and we will dee a bit of Toon Tellyhoppin to watch the game! (Might even watch it on a ‘pirate’ firestick at an undisclosed location? (“Shhh 🤫 divvint tell anybody!)

For a match report on the game, see The Geordie Times on Thorzday!

Az per usual “Watch this space!” for updates from wor intrepid Toon Travellers who will hopefully send some photos for us to publish! ⬇️

Updated ‘11:30am bells 🔔’

THE TOON 2. THE ARSE 3 *** SINGAPORE FESTIVAL OF FUTBAALL!

 Posted ‘2:00pm 🛎️ bells’ Munday 28th July 2025

WONDERBAR

MURPHY’S LAW!

NUFCs forst game of wor Asia tour ended in a narrow 2-3 defeat against The Arse in The Singapore National Stadium!

Aa watched the forst half in Wonderbar in ‘The Gate’ and fully expected it to be rammed az anly 3 boozers had the game on live!

In total there were TEN people in the bar and anly 5 of them were watchin the game!

Aa got in late and az luck would have it Elanga scored from a Tonali pass, az I walked from the bar to find a seat! (aboot 100 available!)

The Arses 3 goals were aall misstayks! Forstly Bruno lost possession near wor box in the 32nd minute and before we knew it, it woz ones a piece with Merino scorin for them from a pass by Havertz, who had dispossessed Joe!

Then just a minute later an Arses cross alang the 18 yard line foond Alex Murphy, who attempted to boot the baall oot for a corner, but anly succeeded in puttin the baall into hiz own net to put The Arse 2-1 up! 

HT 2-1 to them!

For the 2nd half aa moved on to Shearer’s Bar underneath The Gallowgate End where aboot 20 were watchin the game!

JACOB MURPHY’ EQUALISER IN ‘SHEARER’S

We played a bit better in the 2nd period and this time the othaa Murphy (Jacob) slammed the baall into the roof of the net to level things 2-2!

Just when it looked like the game would end in a draw, Joelinton needlessly fouled Dowman in the box and after a brief check the Asian ref pointed to the spot for a penalty to them!

By this time The Pope who had made 2 great saves in the 2nd half had been replaced by Ruddy in The Toon goal and although he dived the reet way he woz unable to stop Odergaard’s powerful shot to put The Arses aheed once more! 3-2 to them!

A TOON FANS REACTION TO THE ARSES PENALTY!

That’s the way it ended for wor 2nd defeat of the pre season, after wor disastrous 4-0 defeat to Celtic in Glasgow last weekend!

Official Geordie Times Tellyhoppers attendances: 6 watchin in Wonderbar includin little old me and with me, 21 in Shearer’s!

PIX FROM ‘PAUL THE ENGLISHMAN’ IN SINGAPORE⬇️ 🇸🇬 

THE TOON V THE ARSE IN SINGAPORE ON SUNDAY

 Posted ‘high noon 🕛 🔔 bells’ Saturday 25th July 2025

A TOON FAN WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS (IN THE PINK?) CAALLED ‘PAUL THE ENGLISHMAN’ WITH ‘THE POPE’S ( The Toon goalie’s) MAMMY AND DADDY!

NUFC start wor pre season tour of Asia tomorrow dinnaatime when we take on The Arse at The National Stadium!

The Geordie Times haz sent wor cheeef paparazzi photographer ‘Paul the Englishman’ to take a few photos of the proceedings while he iz there and in Soooth Korea in the next part of the tour!

EX TOON PLAYER JOHN BERESFORD WITH WOR MAN IN PINK? (Iz it gay pride day in Singapore?)🤔

Someone asked me why I wozzint gannin? and I replied:

 “If yoo lend me 5 grand then I will gan!” (The estimated cost of travel, booze, hotels and scran!)

“But I won’t be able to pay yoo back coz I’ve just raided mee piggy bank and there iz precisely £5.23 in loose change, a 2 Euro coin and a ring pull from a beer can”!

Hiz response woz deathly silence!

A match report on the game (From Shearer’s Bar or Wonderbar in the Toon!) will be forthcoming on Munday sometime!

TOON FANS “ON THE HOY” IN SINGAPORE! 🇸🇬 

Upated just before ‘high noon 🕛 🔔 bells’ Sunday

THE TOON LINE UP!—BUT WHERE’S ISAK?🤔 (12:30 🛎️s KICK OFF!)

(More pix from Paul the Englishman)

WOR BUS ⬆️ AND WOR PUB ⬇️

“ON THE HOY” AGAIN! ⬆️⬇️

Az per usual “Watch this space intentleee!”

HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO! THERE HE GOES!

 Posted ‘3:57pm 🔔 bells’ Thorzday 24th July 2025

We will leave you to draw your own conclusions!😵😵‍💫😱🙈

And just a reminder what woz said  just under 4 years ago!⬇️

Again! We will leave you to draw your own conclusions!🤑💵💰💴💶

NUFC TELLY TIMES FOR SEPTEMBAA RELEASED

 Posted ‘4:53pm bells’ 🛎️ Wedinzday 23rd July 2025

The Premyaa Leegue telly times have just been released for Septembaa and anly ONE Toon game haz been effected!

Fixtures for August and Septembaa and The Geordie Times predicted changes for Octobaa and Novembaa, below that! 

Correct predictions ✅ 

Incorrect predictions ❌

August 2025

Saturday 16th. Villa away 12:30 TNT ✅ 

Munday 25th. Livaapoool home 8:00 SKY ✅ 

Saturday 30th. Leeedz away 5:30. SKY ✅ 

Septembaa 2025 

Saturday 13th. Wolves home 3:00 ✅

Tuezday 16th to Thorzday 18th. Champions Leegue game 1

Saturday 20th. Bournemoooth away 3:00 ✅ (Game could be moved IF we are playin in The Champions Leegue the previous Thorzday)

Tuezday 23rd to Wedinzday 24th. Leegue Cup 3rd roond

Sunday 28th. The Arse home 4:30 SKY ✅(Game could still be moved if eethaa team iz in Champions Leegue action the followin Tuezday!)

Tuezday 30th to Thorzday 1st Octobaa. Champions Leegue game 2 

Octobaa 2025 Nee times or dates released yet

Saturday 4th. Forest home 3:00 (Prediction: Nee change)

Saturday 18th. Brightin away 3:00 (Prediction: Live telly)

Tuezday 21st to Thorzday 23rd. Champions Leegue game 3 

Saturday 25th. Fulim home 3:00 (Prediction: Nee change)

Novembaa 2025 Nee times or dates released yet

Saturday 1st. West 'am away 3:00 (Prediction: Live telly)

Tuezday 4th to Thorzday 6th. Champions Leegue game 4

Saturday 8th. Brentfaad away 3:00 (Prediction: Nee change)

Saturday 22nd. Man Citih home 3:00 (Prediction: Live telly)

Tuezday 25th to Thorzday 27th. Champions Leegue game 5

Saturday 29th. Evatin away 3:00 (New Groond!) (Prediction: Live telly)

Decembaa 2025 (Will print fixtures in due course)

 

THE TIMS 4. THE TOON 0 *** FRIENDLY FIXTURE

 Posted ‘high noon 🕛 bells 🔔’ Sunday 20th July 2025

“WHERE’S WOR STRIKER GONE!?”🤔

The biggest worry for me , wasn’t the shambolic 4-0 defeat, but the fact that Alexander Isak wasn’t included in the 25 man squad that travelled to Glasgow!

I got that shock news from Toon fan ‘Mark Mini Mags’ on mee mobile ‘telling bone’ 📱🦴 an hour before kick off, az we were drinkin in Rutherglen, not too far from Celtic Park!

The less said aboot the match the better!—-watched by ower 10,000 Toon Travellers behind the right hand goal in both the lower and upper tiers of the South Stand!

THE TOON FANS, MANY DRESSED WITH UNION JACK FLAGS AND HATS AND SINGIN’ ANTI IRA SONGS TO GOAD THE CELTIC FANS! (NOTE THE EMPTY SEATS IN THE CELTIC CORNER!)

Willock’s calamitous tackle to give a penalty away for the 1st goal, ‘The Pope’ (of aall people) mistiming hiz run oot of goal to leave an open goal for a simple tap in to put us 2-0 doon bang on half time

SPOT THE EMPTY SEATS IN THE CELTIC END, AZ THE TOON SUBS IN ORANGE WARM UP IN FRONT OF THE TOON FANS!

Chaotic defending for both the 3rd and 4th goals in the 2nd period, az half of the away following were AWAY by the time the 4th goal went in!

Attendance: 45,739 (More than 10,000 Toon fans to watch this debacle!)

A bad day at ‘the office’ if ever there woz one and to compoond wor misery even forthaa, their woz nee trolly service in 1st class on the train from Edinburgh to The Toon, az the staff said it “wasn’t safe” with SO many Toon fans on the train! (Total bollix!)(Normally yoo get tea/coffee/booze/sarnies/crisps/ hot food/etc! —and there were loads of complaints to the lazy staff!)

And on the train back aa looked at Eddie Howe’s after match comments on mee ‘telling bone’ and he said that he “Was confident” that Isak would still be at NUFC when the transfor window closes! ‘Confident but NOT certain’ woz the message I got! (At the end of the day, it’s NOT hiz ‘call’, it’s up to wor Saudi owners!)

Their ambition to be ‘NUNBER ONE’ will NOT happen if we sell wor best players!—FULL STOP!⚫️

MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR BOOZER REPORT 2025-2026

In total 5 different boozers were visited in Rutherglen and Edinburgh!

001 CHAPMANS, RUTHERGLEN

CHAPMANS, (PLUS A MONUMENT!)

INSIDE CHAPMANS

002 AN RUEDH-GHLEANN

004 MILLCROFT, RUTHERGLEN

004 THE PICTURE HOUSE, RUTHERGLEN

005 THE PENNY BLACK, EDINBURGH

MORE PIX OF TOON FANS IN GLASGOW!⬇️

THE BRISTOL BAR, GLASGOW.                             (A RANGERS FANS BAR)

AND PIX OF TOON FANS IN THE HOME END TAKIN PIX OF TOON FANS IN THE AWAY END!⬇️

 

🎵 I’D WALK A MILLION MILES FOR ONE OF YOUR SMILES, JIM III-LEY! 🎶 (NUFC CAPTAIN IN THE 1960s)⬇️

When we gan to away games we seem to walk miles to and from the stadiums and between ‘drinkin’ dens!  I’ve got a distance and step coontaa on mee mobile ‘telling bone’, so am gannih to see just how many miles and steps we dee at aall wor away games this season on the day of the games!

For the Celtic game aa walked 4.49 miles and did 12,546 steps from leaving wor hoose at ‘7 am 🔔 bells’ to travel up to Glasgow by 🚂, to ‘10 pm bells’ 🔔 when aa got back yem!