Sunday, 28 December 2025

THE MOAN U MUPPETEERS 1. THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2025-2026

 Posted ‘2:00am bells 🔔’ Sunday 28th Decembaa 2025



“WE KNOW WHERE YER FROM!” ⬇️

Anthony Taylor, born in Wythenshawe, Manchester

A game where NUFC had 75% possession against a piss poor Moan U side —-and we still fcukin lost!🙈

Wor inability to have shots on target cost us dearly az Moan U defended like their lives depended on it!

We had many chances orly on az we attacked The Stretford End goal!

However—and just like a crab 🦀 in the sand we repeatedly moved sideways and backwards az we tried unsuccessfully to move goalwards! 



Shots were eethaa skyed or wide and then in a rare attack Moan U took the lead in the 24th minute when a uncleared lang throw in fell nicely to Dorgu on the edge of the box and he fired in past Ramsdale in The Toon goal, who managed to get a hand to it, but unable to stop it hitting the back of the net! 1-0 to them!

Despite conserted pressure we were unable to have a decent shot and we went in at the break one goal behind!

NUFC actually played in wor famous black n white stripes away from home for the forst time this season in the Premyaa Leegue, but it didn’t inspire a great performance!

Aaron Ramsey woz clean through on goal orly in the 2nd period, but tripped ower the baall and the chance woz gone!



Efforts from Anthony Gordon, Lewis Miley and Harvey Barnes aalso missed the target, when aall 3 of them should have scored!

The closest we came woz when Lewis Hall rattled the bar with a fiece shot, but the baall boonced to safety!

A blatent hand baall by Moan U’s Martinez in the box 2 minutes later, woz waved away by ref Anthony Taylor and VAR backed him to rule the spot kick oot —to loud angry chanting from the travelling faithful of   “We know where yer from!” (Wythenshawe —-just doon the road in south Manchester!— the equivalent of a Toon home game bein reffed by someone from Walker) (Which, (for wor continental readers) iz a district in east Newcasil) 

Nick Woltemade who had a ‘so so game’, then made way for Yoane Wissa half way through the 2nd half —-again!

Why oh why we don’t try them together iz a mystery that anly Steady Eddie (Howe) can answer!? 

The result means we drop doon to 13th in the Premyaa Leegue table! (Or 14th if Sporz win this afternooon)—-Which in turn won’t gan doon well with wor PIF owners! 

Iz Eddie’s job on the line, with just one away win oot of nine? Anly time will tell, but they can’t be happy with these inept away performances—just like the rest of us!



Attendance: 73,??? (3,000 Toon fans)


A PARCEL 🎁 LOAD OF TROUBLE! 💝 

On a lighter note! One of wor company, a Toon fan who iz based in Manchester —and who shall remain nameless caalled ‘Marzy’, drove 160 odd miles to hiz parents hoose in West Surrey with presents on Xmas Day!

When he arrived he opened the car boot and said, “💩!”

 He forgot to put the presents in the boot az he woz distracted by a phone call from hiz sister, az he woz aboot to load them into hiz ‘jam jar’!

He drove off and left them on the door step ootside hiz front door!

He then had to drive aall the way back to Manchester to pick them up—take them back to Surrey and then drive back for the game! (Luckily a neighbour saw the presents and took them for safe keeping)

In total he drove 650 miles and didn’t get back to Manchester til the ungodly hour of ‘4:30am 🔔s’

“I blame my sister!”, he said, tryin’ desperately to ‘pass the buck’!

Az Del Boy would say:

“WOT A PLONKER!” 😂

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