THE TOON 3. PSV 0 *** CHAMPIONS LEEGUE GROUPB STAGE GAME 7

 Posted '1:21pm bells' Thorzday 22nd January 2026

"WRITE ⬆️ THE NEXT HEADLINE!" ⬇️

If ever a team deserves the nickname Jekyll and Hyde, then surely it’s NUFC!

While most of wor away performances have been abysmal, wor home home iz exactly the opposite!

4 goalless draws away from home and just 10 goals scored in the Prem Leegue so far this season, yet in wor last 3 home games alone, we have scored the same number of goals!

It woz a miserable rainy winters day on Tyneside, but the game against the current Dutch champions and runaway leaders woz anything but!

The goal sequences were az follows! 

8th minute: We started off well az we attacked the Leazes goal in the forst half --and unusually we played in wor normal black n white striped shirts, but with white shorts and white sock, instead of black and black?

Anyway!---A Bruno pass to Joelinton from a PSV defensive erraa finds an unmarked Yoane Wissa --and he darts doon the field to lift the baall ower the PSV keeper Perisic, to score hiz forst ever goal in The Champions Leegue! 1-0 to us! (To say that Perisic looked az 'sic az a pig, would be the understatement of the year!) (sic!)

30th minute: A terrible misstayk by a PSV defender lets in Wissa, who win the baall on the edge of the box and passes to Anthony Gordon!---With the goal gapping coz ther keeper woz oot of position, Gordon hitz a shot into the empty net!---A goal which your great granny could have scored!---Or even ME! 2-0 to us! (Gordon's goal meenz that he haz now matched Alan Shearer's 6 goals he scored in the Champions Leegue!)

Club captain Bruno sustains an ankle injury in the 3rd minute of forst half stoppage time and gives the captains armband to Kiaran Trippier, az he hobbles off the pitch, to be replaced by Lewis Miley!

2nd HALF

65th minute: Harvey Barnes capitalises on another PSV missstayk ', (a weak heeder from PSV captain Schouten) and he races into the Gallowgate End box to fire past Perisic in their goal to seal the victory and 3 precious points!

In a nice touch, Trippier iz replaced by Joe Willock and gives the captains armband to 19 year old Lewis Miley, to become the youngest Champions Leegue captaion in history!

The win lifts us up to 7th in the Champions Leegue table, which iz an automatic qualification place for the knockoot stage, with one game to gan in Paris next week against current Champions Leegue winners PSG!---With NUFC on 13 points--the same az PSG and 4 othaa clubs, its aall to play for in the French capital! The wirst case scenario iz that NUFC definitely qualify for the 2 legged play offs next month if we miss oot on automatic qualification for the knockoot stage! ⬇️

PSV, meeenwhile, slip to 22nd place!

To put the win into context, PSV were on a 20 game unbeaten AWAY run in aall competitions, includin a 4-1 win at Anfeeeld v Livaapoool! 

Attendance: 52,076 (Includin 2,750 very noisy PSV fans at the start, --who were very quiet at the end!)

*WRITE THE NEXT HEADLINE*, the 'Wor Flags' banner said in the Gallowgate End!----We certainly did that last neet!