A FRIENDLY v HULL AT SJP LAST WEEK! *** 52,000 EMPTY SEATS!
Yoo will NOT be watchin' a live game az there will be a delay of between 5 and 90 seconds!
This is to stop any f*****' bad language from players or backroom staff alike, (which yoo will be able to hear in an empty stadium) which will be edited oot, before yoo hear it in your livin' room!
And farcically, any 'fan screens' in the groond that celebrate a goal, will be miles oot of synchronisation with the actual goal!----Anything from 5 to 90 seconds, accordin' to reports!
Canned crowd noise, cardboard cutoot fans and favourite chants will be broadcast, makin it like a reality TV game show!
(Wot next, clowns and circus acts?)
We shall soon find oot tomorrow afternooon at '2:00 bells' when we take on 'The Blade-Runners of Sheffeeeld' at an empty St James' Park!