Monday, 20 May 2013

THE TOON 0 THE ARSE 1

Updated '1:45pm bells' Monday 20th May 2013

"BITTER SWEET SIXTEEN!"

YOHAN CABAYE PREPARES TO TAKE A CORNER
(bottom right) @ THE GALLOWGATE END
(NOTE THAT THE OFFICIALS ARE WEARIN YELLOW!)

For the seventh season in a row we failed to win wor last home game, when we lost 1-0 to 'The Arse' with a dubious lookin' 'offside' goal in the 2nd half!
The fact that ne Toon players protested aboot this made us think that perhaps we were wrang in the forst place?

Anyway!---it doesn't reeely matter az we yet again put in a tired lack lustre 2nd half performance to put the 52,000 crowd to sleep! "ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!"
THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES END (2nd half)
(OFFICIALS ARE IN GREEN NOW!?)

We started off much brighter though in the forst period az we attacked 'The Gallowgate End' and had a couple of good chances to gan aheed, but poor finishin' let us doon again!

In the 37th minute the crowd borst into spontanious applause for goalie Stevie Harper who waz makin' hiz very last appearence for us in hiz number 37 shirt and Stevie acknowledged them with a brief wave az 'The Arse' bared doon on wor goal!<(the 'highlight' of the half!)

The taalkin' point for us at half time waz the fact that a minutes applause for for former Toon player Steve Carney who sadly died a fortneet ago waz NOT forthcomin' before the kick off, despite a request for this by hiz family! <(shame on yoo NUFC!)<(when the Queen Mother died, we had a minutes silence for hor, but az far az I'm aware she never played for us!) 

Anyway!---When 'The Arse' took the lead there waz ne way back for us and we aall wished for the final whistle and this sorry season to end!

At the end fans were asked to remain in their seats while the team did 'a lap of honour' but many couldn't get oot of the groond fast enough az thoosands 'scrambled' for the exits!<(wot does THAT tell yoo?)

Othaa results meeen that we finish in a sorry SIXTEENTH position oot of twenty!

More of 'I Beg Your Pardew' next season?
YOO'D BETTER BELIEVE IT! 

Toon team: Harper, Coloccini, Yanga (Campbell 80), Debuchy, Steve Taylor, Cabaye (Anita 57), Ben Arfa, Gutierrez, Tiote, Cisse, Gouffran (Marveaux 64)   

Attendance: 52,354 (3,000 'Arseholes' in Level 7 celebratin' their Champions Leegue qualification!)
The crowd waz the highest in Britain ower the weekend, includin' the two 'play-off finals' @ Wembley!

Geordie Times quiz questions:
1: Did we score from a corner kick in ANY of wor 54 competitive games this season?
2: How many yellow and red cards in total did Toon players receive this season?
Waz it 81?---91?---101?---or---111?

Answers to theeze questions on Friday when we publish the othaa quiz question answer we asked last week:
Name anothaa former English groond, apart from Belle Vue, Consett, where The Toon have played, which went by the same name?
(A VERY famous ex Toon player and manager waz born here!)
*A 'mad-sad groundhoppers' match report from THAT game will be published on Friday az well!



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