"USA ALL THE WAY!"

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 12th April 2023

THE NEWS OF WOR TOUR OF THE USA HAZ REACHED NEW YORK!

"TOON!--TOON!--USA ARMY!"

A tour of America in July haz been annoonced, with 3 games planned against fellow Premyaa Leegue opposition, which will pleeze wor legion of fans across 'the big pond'!

Forst game in Philadelphia on Sunday July 23rd iz against The Hazbeenz and Villians, followed by The Chelsea Pensioners(Their old nickname!) on Wedinzday July 26th in Atalanta and finally v Brightin on Friday July 28th in Harrison? (Never hord of the place?)

This iz after wor friendly against Rangers at Ibrox Park, Glasgow on Tuezday July 18th---A testimonial for Rangers goalie Allan McGregor

The Premyaa Leegue 2023-2024 starts on the weekend of August 12th

The Geordie Times will of course let yoo naa of any othaa pre season friendlies----Normally we play at least one at SJP----likely to be on the weekend of August 5th

HEBBURN TOON 1 DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS 1 *** NORTHERN PREMYAA LEEGUE EAST DIVISION

 Posted  '5:55pm bells' Tuezday 11th April 2022

We decided to heed for Hebburn on Sooth Tyneside to watch the derby Between Hebburn and Dunston on Easter Munday!---A mini bus woz hired for the 15 faithful Dunston fans who made straight for the Hebburn clubhoose on arrival at the groond!

It had started off a nice day but before lang it started p*ssin doon az the game kicked off! Hebburn were in 3rd positon in the table and guarantied a play off position with just a handful of games left!

While The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston sat in 6th place just ootside the 5th place needed to get into the play offs!

Dunston (in their aall red strip) took the lead through Pearson, who hit a fine shot into the corner of the net----just before that disaster had struck when Shaw woz sent off in the 34th minute!

The Bad Blue Boys held onto thier 1-0 lead until half time, but with a man advantage Hebburn struck back in the minute to level the tie through Murray in the 55th minute with an easy chance!

Dunston managed to haad on til full time to claim a point and with a game in hand on those above them, a play off place iz still possible (but improbable) az they must win their last 3 games to have any chance of catchin the teams above them!

The fans stayed til '7 bells' when the mini bus torned up for the retorn jorney to Dunston---Many highly inebriated by then!

Attendance; A very good 538 includin aboot 30 from Dunston, includin Committee men!

THE BEES KNEES OF BRENTFAAD 1 THE TOON 2 *** PREMYA LEAGUE 2022-2023

 Posted from 'High Noon bells' onwards, Easter Sunday 9th April 2023

"ALEXANDER THE GREAT, RIGHT ON 'Q'!"

Before the match we heeded to Kew Gardens for a few 'liquid lubrications' in a couple of bars near the train station!

Which begs the question, which letter of the alphabet sounds the same with 4 different spellings?  Answer iz the letter 'Q'   ie; Right on 'Q', a QUEUE, a snooker CUE and KEW Gardens! (Yet another peeece of useless information from The Geordie Times!)

On the way to the groond there were match stewards holding direction signs to the away end, az it's a maze to get tee, hidden behind  blocks of flats and factories and can't even be seen from a 100 yards away on the main road!

(For those of yoo under the age of 55 'My Boy Lollipop' woz a number one hit song in the 1960s by Millie!

(She's probably dead and buried by now!?)

This woz a game with so many twists and turns, its hard to get them aall in!

The sequence of events woz az follows (deep breath!):

8th minute: After havin' most of the play, former Toon player Ivan Toney scores for Brentfaad, but after a lengthy VAR review the goal iz disallowed for offside, az the Toon fans celebrate this!

27th minute: It haz been aall Brentfaad and The Bees get a stonewaall penalty when Botman scythes doon Schade in the box!

Ivan Toney who haz a 100% penalty record with Brentfaad takes it, but its weak and The Pope in the Toon goal dives to hiz left and saves it, much to the relief of the 1,700 plus diehard fans in the corner behind that goal!

41st minute: Anothaa penalty iz conceded by us, when Isak iz adjudged to have fouled Henry, when gannin for a 50/50 baall!

45+1 minute: After one of the most lengthy VAR checks in history, the ref gans to the monitor and decides that it iz indeed a penalty! (Oh no it wasn't!

Again Toney takes it, but this time The Pope iz unable to stop the shot, despite divin the reet way! 1-0 to 'The Bees Knees' (Brentfaad's nickname iz 'The Bees'---get it?)  NUFC havint had a shot on target---a 'half' to forget!

'Steady Eddie' changes things after the restart and brings on Wilson for Longstaff and Gordon for Murphy----a master stroke az we are a completely  different team, az we attack the goal at 'wor end'!

54th minute: NUFC equalise az Joelinton runs doon the wing and moves inside the penalty area near the byline---He shoots at a very tight angle and the baall gans into the net off the Brentfaad goalie!---game on!

61st minute: Callum Wilson taps the baall to 'Alexander the Great' near the edge of the box and he hits a rocket shot into the top corner of the net to send the Toon fans into extasy!

65th minute: Callum Wilson makes it 3-1 to us BUT after anothaa lengthy VAR check the goal iz ruled oot for hand baall!

We endue an onslaught near the end, but 'The Pope' makes a couple of brilliant saves to help us get the 3 valuable points, (It IZ Easter after aall!--The Pope--Jesus---get it?) which takes us back to 3rd top above Moan U, who won orlier on!

A hard won game---Brentfaad's forst home defeat since last September and NUFC's 5th win in a row!---"HAPPY EASTER!"

Attendance: 17,107 (1,730 very happy away fans!)

GREY'S MONUMENT HAZ A NEW OCCUPANT!

*Pub crawl pix to follow:   Just 2 new boozers this time! 

THE "BEEZ KNEEZ" OF BRENTFAAD V THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

 Posted 5:00pm bells' Good Friday 7th April 2023

BRENTFORD COMMUNITY STADIUM LAST SEASON*** 

(TOON IN LIGHT BLUE) GROUND NUMBER 354

Havin just come back from eest London on Thorzday followin wor 5-1 thrashin of West 'am on Wedinzday neet, we are off to 'the smoke' (London) again tomorrow, when we face Brentfaad in west London at '3:00 bells'!----The kick off time meenz that the game won't be on the telly---the forst time this haz happened in 2023!

Hopefully we can get the 3 points and 'cement' wor 3rd place in the Champions Leegue!

It won't be easy az Brentfaad are hard to beat at their tiny 17,300 capacity new stadium!  Aall 1,730 away tickets have been snapped up (10%) az we aim to win there again after wor 2-0 victory in wor inaugural visit last season, with goals from Joelinton and Joe Willock! 

Az per usual a full 'Geordie Times' match and boozer report will appear here sometime on Easter Sunday!---

Lets hope it's a "Happy Easter!"

THE JELLIED EELS MOB 1 THE TOON 5 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2033

 Posted from 10:30am bells o wards, on train back from London, Thorzday 6th April 2023

"TOON BURST WEST HAM BUBBLES!"

(Brief match and boozer report)

A MAGnificent 5-1 victory to keep us in 3rd place in wor quest for a Champions Leegue place next season!

The goal sequences were az follows!

6th minute: Saint Max jinks past the home defence to put Callum Wilson through to glacé hiz heeder into the net at the far end from the away section! 0-1 to NUFC!

13th minute: A through baall from Schar to Joelinton who roonded their keeper to put us 0-2 up! A VAR check ruled that Joe woz onside!

40th minute: Zouma pulls one back after The Pope misses the baall! HT 1-2

46th minute: After a terrible defensive mix up Jacob Murphy passes the baall to Wilson who slots the baall into an empty net! 1-3 to NUFC!

82nd minute; Isak intercepts a baall to lob the hapless West Ham keeper to send the Toon fans wild and the home fans to the exit gates!   The empty white seats looked like heavy snow had fallen! (See pic below!) 1-4 to NUFC 

90th minute: The annihilation woz compled by Joelinton who fired the baall into the far corner of the goal from Bruno through baall! FT 1-5 to NUFC!

Attendance: 62,470 (3,000 ecstatic Toon fans!) Aboot 40,000 home fans had left before final whistle!

Pub crawl report below!

We did 5 boozers in total, aall of them in eetha Hackney or Hackney Wick, which iz not too far from the London Stadium, bringin the grand total of different away boozers visited this season to 125!

THE JELLIED EELS MOB OF WEST 'AM v THE TOON **** TOONEET!

 Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards, on the train to King's Cross (London) Wedinzday 5th April 2023

THE LAST TIME WE WERE HERE *** A 1-1 DRAW IN FEB 2022 *** JOE WILLOCK GOT WOR GOAL!  VIEW FROM BACK SECTION OF THE AWAY END! *** DIVVINT FORGET YOUR BINOCULARS!

This iz a rearranged game from last September, postponed because of the Queen's death. Aall 3,000 away tickets were sold then and are still valid!

We expect that the same startin line up az on Sunday when we beat Moan U 2-0 to move to 50 points and 3rd place in the table!

The Jellied Eels Mob (so caalled az jellied eels iz a fave delicacy in London's east end!) sit precariously just above the relegation zone with 27 points!

Moan U are playin tooneet az well, so we reeely need to win to stay above them!

A full Geordie Times match and booze report will appear here az we travel back on the train on Thorzday mornin'!

Az per usual "Watch this space!"--and misstayks!" az av got to dee the report on mee mobile telling bone, az the train rocks alang the tracks!  

THE TOON 2 MOAN U 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 3rd April 2023

"REVENGE IZ SO VERY SWEEET!"

A fantastic day for aall NUFC fans az we totally demolished Moan U at SJP!----2-0 woz NOT a fair reflection of the game az we shud have been at least 5-0 up at half time, but near misses from Longstaff (3), Isak and Willock meant we went in aall square goalless in the forst half az we attacked the Leazes goal!

The 2nd half woz the same, but we did actually put the baall in the net twice to win the contest in front of an ecstatic crowd, who roared the team on from start to finish!

The forst goal came in the 65th minute when Bruno centered for Saint Max to heed on to Joe Willock who heeded in from close range!

There woz large moanin from Moan U's Fernandez and Antony in between the goals!----Now yoo know why we caall tham 'Moan U'!

FAB SCHAR TELLS FERNANDEZ TO STOP MOANIN' AND PLAY ACTIN'

We doubled wor advantage in the 88th minute, when a pinpoint cross from Trippier fooond super sub Callum  Wilson's heed and hiz effort rebounded off the far Gallowgate post and into the net, which brought ecstatic scenes on and off the pitch az the Moan U fans departed in their droves form their Leazes End level 7 seats!

IT'S THE 3rd MINUTE OF STOPPAGE TIME AZ THE MOAN U END EMPTIES!😂

Complete revenge for wor Leegue Cup final defeat to them 35 days orlier, when they took the p*ss!

The win meeenz that we 'leapfrog' them and Sporz into 3rd place in the table with 11 games to gan!----The Champions Leegue dream iz alive and kickin!

    GATESHEED SIDE OF THE TYNE                  TOON SIDE OF THE TYNE

"TYNESIDE UNITED!"

It haz certainly been a great weekend for the 2 teams who both play in black n white on opposite sides of the Tyne bridges, az Gatesheeed won on Saturday in the FA Trophy semi final on pens against Barnet, to set up a Wembley appearence in May v Halifax! 

Attendance: 52,268 (3,200 Moan U fans who had long departed before the final whistle back to London etc!)

*

JUBILANT TOON FANS DEPART THE GROOND!

Updated Tuezday

Sporz anly drew away to Evaatin last neet, so NUFC are still 3rd top with 50 points!---Both Sporz, who have played 2 games more and Moan U are on 50 points az well, but with vastly inferior goal differences than us!

THE TOON v MOAN U **** THIS AFTERNOOON!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 2nd April 2023

THE JACKIE MILBURN STATUE NEXT TO 'THE STRAWBERRY CORNER'

Its been a canny weekend so far on Tyneside az wor rivals for a Champions Leegue place aall lost or drew yesterday!  And then we foond oot Gatesheed had won on penalties in the FA Trophy semi final v Barnet to progress to thier 2nd ever Wembley final, where they will play Halifax.

The anly disappointment woz Dunston's game v Grimsby Boro woz postponed coz of a waaterlogged pitch!---The game we intended to gan tee!

Anyway! later today NUFC play wor most important Premyaa Leegue game of the season so far against Moan U!   A win for us would propel us to 3rd place above Moan U and Sporz (who divvint play til tomorrow), but a defeat would mean that they would move 6 points aheed of us and we would stay in 5th position!

Despite the April Fools jokes yesterday that Eddie Howe had rabies and that Bruno had suffered a serious injury in trainin' on Friday, we hear that both are OK!  

Joelinton retorns after sorvin a suspension, but Almiron and Gordon will miss oot az they are still carryin injuries!

Its certainly a busy week for us az we face 2 games in London in 4 days (West 'am on Wedinzday and Brentfaad on Saturday) so those 3 games in 6 days (includin today's) will define wor season!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime tommorow!

Az per usual "Watch this space!" 

"MAGIC WEEKEND!" *** HEED V BARNET! *** BAD BLUE BOYS v GRIMSBY BORO *** THE TOON v MOAN U = "MAGIC WEEKEND!"

 Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 31st March 2023

Tomorrow afternooon Gatesheeed play their biggest game for years when they entertain Barnet from "norf Landan" in the FA Trophy semi final, with a trip to Wembley in the final for the winners!

A big crowd of 4,000 (by Gatesheed standards) iz expected!

Best of luck 'Heedbangers!

Meeenwhile another big crowd (400) iz expected at another local club, Dunston ('Bad Blue Boys'), who will be hostin Grimsby Borough in The Northern Premyaa Leegue East Division.

 They are hopin to get into the play-offs to win promotion to The Northern Premyaa Leegue 1st Division! 

A win will 'cement them' in a top 6 'play off' place with 54 points, while Grimsby on 47 points in 7th place will be 7 points behind Dunston with just 4 games to play, shud they lose!--A 6 pointer for certain!

Thats where we will be on Saturday!

Then on Sunday of course NUFC take on Moan U at St. James' Park in the 3rd big game of the weekend (Just 52,200 expected!) and a win will propel us to 3rd place above Moan U on goal difference and Sporz by a point, who divvint play til Munday neet!  

Wor quest for a top 4 'Champions Leegue place' iz alive and kickin'!

THE FORST "MAGIC WEEKEND" OF THE YEAR IZ AALMOST UPON US!

NUFC---THE FORST 'TRUE' 'UNITED'!

 Posted not lang after 'high noon bells' Thorzday 30th March 2023

Sheffield United were the forst ever futbaall club to be caalled 'United' in 1889 when they were formed!----However!, there were 2 other clubs in the city of Sheffield at the time, namely 'The Wednesday' formed in 1867 (Later Sheffield Wednesday) and Sheffield FC formed in 1857, who are the oldest futbaall club in the world!

In other words Sheffield wasn't 'United'!

NUFC were the 2nd club to be caalled 'United' in 1892 followin the amalgamation of Newcastle East End and Newcastle West End!

This meeenz that NUFC were the forst truly 'United' futbaall club in the world!

Man United were originally caalled Newton Heath and didnt change their name to Man United til 1902---10 years after us! (see the above match 'card' from wor home game against them on New Years Day in 1897!)

Of course there woz another club in Manchester caalled Ardwick who later changed their name to Man City!

In other words Manchester wasn't 'United' eeethaaa!

Yet their fans and the media arrogantly caall them simply 'United', much to the annoyance of aall clubs with 'United' in their titles!

NEWCASTLE UNITED FC THE FORST 'TRUE' 'UNITED'   

THE LIST OF LEEGUE CLUBS WITH 'UNITED' IN THEIR NAME AND THE YEAR THEY WERE SO CAALLED!