HASBEENHASSLE! (HAS-BEEN-HASSLE!)

 Posted from '2:00pm bells' onwards, Thorzday 30th December 2021

THE LAST TIME WE WERE THERE IN PERSON!--A 1-0 WIN IN MARCH 2020

BUT WILL WE BE BACK ON SUNDAY????

COVID CHAOS!

Sooothampton manager Ralf Hasbeenhassle (or whatever he's caalled?) haz stuck hiz 'oar in' and suggested that NUFC are tryin to get wor game against them on Sunday postponed with fake Covid casualties and injuries!

We nevaa hord Mr. Hasbeenhassle complain when Moan U, Liverpoool or Bornley had games caalled off because of Covid----so why pick on us? az the Evaatin game tooneet iz the FORST game we have asked to be caalled off! (Bornley have had FOWER(4) caalled off so far!)

We shud be in Liverpoool az we speak, dumpin wor bags in wor hotel and heedin for boozers near Goodison Park---but instead we are sittin in wor hooses (and own boozers!) wonderin if Sunday's game will 'gan the distance' az well?

We need to naa by tomorrow at the latest az we are due to travel to Sooothampton on New Years Day (Saturday)

The last thing we want iz to get aall the way to the south coast to find the game iz OFF!

Az usual there's no thought at aall for the 3,300 Toon fans, who are due to travel the 330 miles and will be the last to find oot!

PS: 'Hasbeen' coz he's the anly manager to lose 2 Premyaa Leegue games   9-0!

'Hassle' coz that's wot this cry baby 😢 iz givin' us!

Updated '9:09pm bells'

The Premyaa Leegue can hardly say 'YES' to Nohrich and 'NO' to NUFC----can they????(or 'can they'???)

Watch this space tomorrow!

And from this Sooothampton 'dickhead'!

 

"HA! HA! 'Danny the Dickhead'----Does this rule apply to every team who have had games caalled off ?  Moan U, Liverpoool, Wotfaad, Sporz, Leeedz, etc! etc!"

😆😃😄🤣😂🤪👍

"OH NO!"

THE TOFFEES GAME IZ OFF!---A 'BITTER SWEET' MOMENT FOR NUFC FANS!

 Posted '9:40pm bells' Tuesday 28th December 2021

The Premyaa Leegue have reluctantly approved the postponement of wor away game at Evaatin on Thorzday neet because of Covid and injuries in the Toon camp!

Wor game against 'The Toffees' will now be arranged for a future date, which meeenz we can get some new recruits in the fight against relegation!

It's a 'bitter sweet' moment for Toon fans (sic!) az many of the 3,000 travellin fans have paid for trains and hotels for this game!

In wor case we can get the train money back but NOT the hotel money of £20 each!

And az for the Sooothampton game on January 2nd?---we will lose the hotel money AND flight money back of £139 IF that game gans 'the distance' az well! (We are on the train doon, which we can reclaim---but NOT the flight money back!)

If it meeenz that we can buy recruits in the January transfor window, to avoid relegation, with some quality (street) players, then it will be well worth the sacrifice of aboot £200 each! (Sooothampton hotel, £40 each!)

PS: For those of yoo who divvint naa, 'The Toffees' iz Evaatin's nickname!---Get it!?

THE TOON 1 MOAN U 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted from just after 'high noon 🔔 bells' onwards, Tuesday 28th December 2021

The main taakin point woz the NUFC team selection with TWO goalies named on the subs bench and one missin place! (9 subs are allowed and we anly had 8)

Nee sign of Richie, Clark or Willock in the line up az Covid and injuries have taken a massive toll!

WELL!-- Who wud have beleeeved it? after that team line up shock!?-- a game we were expected to lose, we shud have won!

A brilliant stike from 'Maxi' in the 7th minute, sent the crowd into '7 heaven' to put us 1-0 up at The Leazes End, az NUFC played wor best futbaall of the season against a very average Moan U side,  which included 'one' Ronaldo who moaned throughout the game!--Their manager Ralf Rangnick aalso had a moan that hiz team wornt good enough (Hence: Moan U!)

The crowd were 'up for it' az they gave The Toon unwaverin' backing and we went off at half time to a standin ovation! A major blow though az Callum Wilson had torn hiz calf muscle and had to be substituted just before the break! 

Joelinton in particular woz outstanding, az he bamboozled their defence with some fine runs and shots!

It shud have been 2-0 when 'Maxi' woz in front of goal at The Gallowgate End, but he couldn't get any power behind the baall from 1 yard oot and De Gea saved easily!

Against the run of play Moan U equalised in the 71st minute after a deflected shot woz mishit by Cavani and luckily for him it went past Dubravka in The Toon goal to level things!

Murphy then hit the post and hiz shot rebounded to sub Almiron who's shot woz brilliantly tipped ower the bar by De Gea!

It just wasn't to be wor day and the game ended 1-1 when it shud have been aall 3 to us!

Saint Maximin aalso had to come off with wot looked like another calf injury!----a depleated squad for sure!

Attendance: 52,178 (3,100 visitors who slagged Alan Shearer off at every opportunity!)

Wor game at Evaatin on Thorzday neet iz now in serious doubt,  with both camps havin Covid absentees and injuries!

THE TOON V MOAN U *** TOONEET AT '8:00 BELLS'!

 Posted just after 'high noon 🔔 bells' Munday 27th December 2021

WE WATCHED THE 4-1 HOME DEFEAT LAST SEASON IN 'ROSIES' WHICH IZ WITHIN SIGHT OF SJP! (MATCH, BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!)

NUFC take on Moan U at SJP tooneet and we are desperate for a victory!

Not many give us hope of that, but we must knuckle doon and try and get at least a draw!

Fernandez, Lewis and Dummett are oot lang torm, but there cud be a retorn for Manquillo and Krafth after missin the Man City game with illness!

This iz wor 20th competitive game this season and so far we have just ONE solitary win----the worst sequence in wor entire history!

The January transfor window iz aalmost upon us and we can anly hope that there are some quality players comin' in, az this current squad will surely get us relegated! (We won't speculate az to just who, might be comin' to bolster wor squad!)

Wor game at Evaatin on Thorsday iz still on, despite Evaatin's game yesterday bein postponed coz they have several players oot with Covid!----Wot we divvint want iz to travel aall the way to Liverpoool, to find oot that the game iz off at the last minute!

They shouldn't treat loyal fans in this way and make a decision before we travel!

A full match report on wor game tooneet will appear here sometime tomorrow----Az per usual, "Watch this space!"

HEEDBANGERS GAME TODAY IZ OFF!

 ☔Posted just after 'high noon bells' Boxin' Day 2021☔

Just in case yoo were gannin, Gatesheed's derby game v 'The Spartans of Blyth' this afternooon haz been postponed!

Unusually, NOT because of Covid, but because the pitch at The International Stadium iz waaterlogged after heavy owerneet rain on Tyneside!

So if you were gannin---DIVVINT!☔☔☔

PS: There are plenty of boozers on Gatesheed High Street to quench your thirst, if yoo HAVE made your way there aalready!!!

The Met, The Nags, The Fleece etc!--So it's not an entirely wasted jorney!🍺🍺🍺🍺

A MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM WOR NEW OWNERS!

 🎄Posted '10:10pm bells' Xmas Day 2021🎄

A brilliant gesture from Amanda and Mehrdad on Twitter!!!

A Very Merry Xmas to yoo az well from The Geordie Times!!!🎄🥳🐧🤠👻🤪👍

THE QUEEN'S CHRISTMAS MESSAGE 2021 (Geordie Times excluuusive!)

 🎄Posted '3:00pm bells' Christmas Day 2021🎄

"As an avid member of 'The Toon Army', October 7th 2021 was a very special day for all fans of Newcastle United Football Club!"

"For this was the day we finally got rid of 'The Fat Controller' and his minions, when the PIF took control of our great club after a tortuous 18 months of negotiations!"

"It's been an 'anus horriblus'  season so far, no thanks to TFC, but there are brighter times ahead for certain, under our new very rich owners!"

"Us Royal Families must stick together and we will of course give them our full support in these difficult times!"

"I wish you all a very merry Christmas and hopefully a very happy new year, from all the Royal Family at Buckingham Palace!"

"HOWAY THE LADS!"

"IT'S AALL GANNIN 'TITS UP' FOLKS"

 Posted 1:05pm bells' Xmas Eve 2021

"IT'S LUNACY TO CARRY ON LIKE THIS!"

News that Evaatin's away game v Bornleee on Boxin' Day iz postponed coz of a Covid outbreak in the Evaatin camp, meeenz that wor away game against them next Thorzday iz highly likely to be postponed az well!

We have booked trains and a hotel in Livaapoool for that game and we can anly hope that if the game IZ off, that we can rebook the train tickets for a future away game!--Not sure if we will get the hotel money back, though!

And then on New Years Day we are on wor travels again to Sooothampton, for wor game there on January the 2nd!

I can just see it now!--we get there, anly to find oot that THAT game iz off az well, due to Covid! (Trains, hotel, match ticket and flight back booked--£250 plus!)

Quite simply, AALL the games in the next 10 days shud be caalled off to save fans of AALL clubs a wasted jorney!

In wor case a roond trip of ower 700 miles!

Dee the descent thing 'Premyaa Leegue Board' and have a break now to stop this happenin'!!!

AND FROM TWITTER!

LATEST 'TWEET'

CONSPIRACY THEORIES!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 23rd December 2021

NUFC have the shortest turnaround of any Premya Leegue club's ower the post Xmas period!

Just 138 hours between kick offs in the 3 games, while Wolves have the langest with 197 hours!

That's a difference of 59 hours in Wolves favour!

It's hardly fair--iz it????---

Games at Liverpoool and Wolves on Boxin Day are off coz of Covid in the Leeedz and Wotfaad squads!

The Toon must travel to Evaatin and Sooothampton soon and not know that the games will be on!   It haz cost a canny bit to gan to Sooothampton for the 3,300 Toon fans!

It's not on!--iz it????

UTTER CHAOS LOOMS!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 21st December 2021

"I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW!---OH NO I CAN'T!?"

Boris and The Premyaa Leegue have made everything clear now!?

We may or may--- not be playin Man U next week at SJP and we may or may not be allowed to attend the game if it's behind closed doors? We may ---or may not be allowed into the pubs before or after the game eethaa!? (Spectators are banned from aall sportin' events in Wales from Boxin' Day onwards!)

Aalso NUFC have 2 away games comin up at Evaatin (3,000 Toon fans gannin doon) and Sooothampton (3,300 Toon fans gannin doon) ----but will we get to those games and find that they have been postponed 2 hours before kick off, like Wotfaad's game at Bornley and Bornley's game at Villa!?????

We have match tickets, trains, planes and hotels booked for those games at great expense----but that doesn't matter to The Premyaa Leegue az the show MUST gan on, (or not---az the case may be!) to pleeze Sky, BT and Amazon, despite the Covid chaos that now engulfs us that might see more Covid outbreaks amongst players and fans!

Nee thought at aall aboot fans who are caught up in aall this uncertainty----nee thought at aall!---Money!--Money!--Money!

And will we ---or will we not be able to drown wor sorrows in the pubs, az mentioned?---or not az the case may be if the games are caalled off at the last minute!?---and we are left to waalk the streets instead!?---Thank yoo Boris and Premyaa Leegue for this 'clarity'!?

"I can see clearly now that we might---or might not be gannin to the games or pubs!?

 "UTTER CHAOS LOOMS!"

Update

Just hord 'Nutty Nicola' haz imposed a ban on fans attending Scottish games from Boxin Day!

Anly a matter of time now, folks!!!🥶