A MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM WOR NEW OWNERS!

 🎄Posted '10:10pm bells' Xmas Day 2021🎄

A brilliant gesture from Amanda and Mehrdad on Twitter!!!

A Very Merry Xmas to yoo az well from The Geordie Times!!!🎄🥳🐧🤠👻🤪👍

THE QUEEN'S CHRISTMAS MESSAGE 2021 (Geordie Times excluuusive!)

 🎄Posted '3:00pm bells' Christmas Day 2021🎄

"As an avid member of 'The Toon Army', October 7th 2021 was a very special day for all fans of Newcastle United Football Club!"

"For this was the day we finally got rid of 'The Fat Controller' and his minions, when the PIF took control of our great club after a tortuous 18 months of negotiations!"

"It's been an 'anus horriblus'  season so far, no thanks to TFC, but there are brighter times ahead for certain, under our new very rich owners!"

"Us Royal Families must stick together and we will of course give them our full support in these difficult times!"

"I wish you all a very merry Christmas and hopefully a very happy new year, from all the Royal Family at Buckingham Palace!"

"HOWAY THE LADS!"

"IT'S AALL GANNIN 'TITS UP' FOLKS"

 Posted 1:05pm bells' Xmas Eve 2021

"IT'S LUNACY TO CARRY ON LIKE THIS!"

News that Evaatin's away game v Bornleee on Boxin' Day iz postponed coz of a Covid outbreak in the Evaatin camp, meeenz that wor away game against them next Thorzday iz highly likely to be postponed az well!

We have booked trains and a hotel in Livaapoool for that game and we can anly hope that if the game IZ off, that we can rebook the train tickets for a future away game!--Not sure if we will get the hotel money back, though!

And then on New Years Day we are on wor travels again to Sooothampton, for wor game there on January the 2nd!

I can just see it now!--we get there, anly to find oot that THAT game iz off az well, due to Covid! (Trains, hotel, match ticket and flight back booked--£250 plus!)

Quite simply, AALL the games in the next 10 days shud be caalled off to save fans of AALL clubs a wasted jorney!

In wor case a roond trip of ower 700 miles!

Dee the descent thing 'Premyaa Leegue Board' and have a break now to stop this happenin'!!!

AND FROM TWITTER!

LATEST 'TWEET'

CONSPIRACY THEORIES!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 23rd December 2021

NUFC have the shortest turnaround of any Premya Leegue club's ower the post Xmas period!

Just 138 hours between kick offs in the 3 games, while Wolves have the langest with 197 hours!

That's a difference of 59 hours in Wolves favour!

It's hardly fair--iz it????---

Games at Liverpoool and Wolves on Boxin Day are off coz of Covid in the Leeedz and Wotfaad squads!

The Toon must travel to Evaatin and Sooothampton soon and not know that the games will be on!   It haz cost a canny bit to gan to Sooothampton for the 3,300 Toon fans!

It's not on!--iz it????

UTTER CHAOS LOOMS!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 21st December 2021

"I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW!---OH NO I CAN'T!?"

Boris and The Premyaa Leegue have made everything clear now!?

We may or may--- not be playin Man U next week at SJP and we may or may not be allowed to attend the game if it's behind closed doors? We may ---or may not be allowed into the pubs before or after the game eethaa!? (Spectators are banned from aall sportin' events in Wales from Boxin' Day onwards!)

Aalso NUFC have 2 away games comin up at Evaatin (3,000 Toon fans gannin doon) and Sooothampton (3,300 Toon fans gannin doon) ----but will we get to those games and find that they have been postponed 2 hours before kick off, like Wotfaad's game at Bornley and Bornley's game at Villa!?????

We have match tickets, trains, planes and hotels booked for those games at great expense----but that doesn't matter to The Premyaa Leegue az the show MUST gan on, (or not---az the case may be!) to pleeze Sky, BT and Amazon, despite the Covid chaos that now engulfs us that might see more Covid outbreaks amongst players and fans!

Nee thought at aall aboot fans who are caught up in aall this uncertainty----nee thought at aall!---Money!--Money!--Money!

And will we ---or will we not be able to drown wor sorrows in the pubs, az mentioned?---or not az the case may be if the games are caalled off at the last minute!?---and we are left to waalk the streets instead!?---Thank yoo Boris and Premyaa Leegue for this 'clarity'!?

"I can see clearly now that we might---or might not be gannin to the games or pubs!?

 "UTTER CHAOS LOOMS!"

Update

Just hord 'Nutty Nicola' haz imposed a ban on fans attending Scottish games from Boxin Day!

Anly a matter of time now, folks!!!🥶

THE TOON 0 THE BLUE MOONIES 4 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 20th December 2021

NEE HORRIBLE SD SIGNS---"WE'VE GOT WOR GROOND BACK!"

"AN ORLY XMAS 'GIFT' FROM NUFC!"

It woz great to waalk into SJP and see none of those 300 or so horrible red n blue SD signs, which had blighted the stands for 14 years and had finally been removed last week!

Within 4 minutes we were behind after a disastrous mix up between Dubravka and Clark, who both left the baall from a cross, for Dias to heed into an empty net from 1 yard oot at The Gallowgate End! (A goal that your great granny could have scored!)

0-1

We regrouped and attacked The Leazes goal but couldn't find a way past the City defence!

Cancelo doubled wor visitors lead in the 27th minute with a lang range pile driver, which whizzed past Dubravka!

0-2

And the major controversy!

Fraser woz clean through in the box after a misstayk in the City midfield and woz rugby tackled and brought to the groond by Ederson in the visitors goal for a stonewall penalty!

But unbelievably the ref Martin Atkinson waved 'play on' much to the disgust of the Toon players and crowd alike!---the 3rd game in a row when a penalty incident hazn't went wor way!!! It didnt even gan to VAR!

HT 0-2

'The Blue Moonies' then went into cruise control and a 3rd goal came in the 63rd minute when Mahrez gave Dubravka nee chance at The Leazes End with a volley!---The goal went to VAR to see if it woz offside, (az the linesman had raised hiz flag) but it wasn't and we were 0-3 doon!

A 4th 'tap in' goal from Stirling in the 86th minute, after a byline cross into the box, finished us off, az large sections of the crowd heeded for the exits!---In contrast and defiance 'The Gallowgate End' flag wavers gave a fantastic last few minutes display az they sang "Eddie Howe's Black n white army!", til the final whistle!

FT 0-4!

We desorve better than this for certain and major transfers in the January window are needed to avoid the dreaded drop! 11 goals conceded in the last 3 games, with just 1 scored tells its own sorry tale!

Attendance: 52,127 (3,100 Blue Moonies)

"GROUNDHOPPERS GROUNDED!"

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 18th December 2021

"COVID CATASTROPHE!" 

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' were 'toyin' with the idea of gannin to Nottingham today, to watch wor U18s at Forest's 'Nigel Doughty Academy' today!

However!---that dreaded word 'COVID' haz reared its ugly head and the game haz been caalled off, az several Forest players have tested positive!

Plan 'B' haz now been put into place ('B' for 'Beer'!) and instead 'yours truly' iz now heedin' for the Dunston v Brighoose game at UTS Stadium instead, for a Northern Premyaa Leegue Division One North encoontaa!

(The clubhoose 1st 'port o call'!)

At the time of writin' this, the NUFC v Man City Premyaa Leegue game at SJP tomorrow iz not 100% certain to gan aheed eethaa, because of the new Covid Omicron variant, which iz spreadin like wildfire!

'The Geordie Times' will of course keep yoo, wor loyal subjects, fully informed of any forthaa developments!

Az per usual---"Watch this space!"

PS: IF wor game gans aheed, we will publish a match report on Munday---sometime!

THE LIVERBIRDS 3 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted from '10:00am🔔 bells' onwards, on the train back, Friday 17th December 2021

"3-1 TO THE REFEREE!"

"Mike Dean!---It's aall aboot yoo!"

Az expected we lost yet again at Anfeeeld, but nee thanx to Mike Dean the ref, who got loads of stick off the Toon for ignoring Hayden who woz injured in the box when The Liverbirds scored their equaliser through Jota in the 21st minute---4 mins later a suicidal back pass from Shelvey foond Salah who cooly finished to put them 2-1 up!

TOON IN AALL BLUE--VIEW FROM ROW 14  seat 45

Before that Jonjo Shelvey had scored a 😱 screamer in the 8th minute in front of The Kop, to send The Toon fans at the othaa end into raptures!

Toon fans celebrate Shelvey's goal---but that's az good az it got az Shelvey woz at fault for their 2nd goal!

HT 2-1 DOON!

The 2nd half woz aall Liverpoool az they attacked the Kop---Mike Dean had got in the way and blocked Dubravka's view az Arnold hit a shot into the corner of the net, with wor goalie's view blocked!

Goalscorer Arnold, assisted by referee Mike Dean!!!

This woz in the 87th minute, so there woz nee way back for a 'toothless Toon'

3-1 to the referee, FT!

Attendance: 52,951, Inc 3,000 Toon fans in The Anfeeeld Road End!

The defeat meenz we sit rock bottom with Nohrich, with ONE solitary win in EIGHTEEN games!(Inc Leegue Cup!)

The pre and post match gargels took place here!

And the next mornin before we caught the train yem!

THE LIVERBIRDS v THE TOON *** TOONEET!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 16th December 2021

LAST SEASON BCD  1-1 WILLOCKS EQUALISER IN 97th MINUTE! 

(Nearest to penalty spot)

Tooneet we gan to Anfeeeld and can anly hope that it's not a cricket score against us!

We can anly hope that they have a bad day az anything else will dent wor aalready bad goal difference! We actually came away with a 1-1 draw last season, when the game woz played behind closed doors.

Joe Willock grabbin' an injury time equaliser to send 'The Strawberry' into raptures! (where we watched it!)

To be honest, we cannit wait for the transfor window to open, when hopefully we can sign some quality players to drag us oot of the mire!

ONE solitary win oot of 17 so far (inc Leegue Cup) tells yoo aall yoo need to naa aboot wor predicament!

NUFC might be the richest club in the world, but we are probably the worst in the Premyaa Leegue this season----thanx to 'The Fat Controller's failure to agree to buy any new players last summer!

Hiz legacy hangs ower us like a bad smell!

A Geordie Times match report will appear here on Friday or Saturday----Lets hope its not a bad report???

CUD THIS BE A BLESSIN' IN DISGUISE!?

 Posted '6:00pm bells' Tuesday 14th December 2021

CAN COVID ACTUALLY SAVE NUFC?

News that Moan Us game at Brentfaad tooneet haz been caalled off because of a Covid outbreak haz reached 'The Geordie Times'!--This follows on from Sporz postponement of their game v Brightin on Sunday

If the Premyaa Leegue gets suspended az the above headline states, then by the time we can play again the January transfor window will be open (it's anly 17 days away anyway) so that we can strengthen a seriously weak squad, in wor bid to avoid the dreaded drop! (NUFC have 4 games to play til January--3 against the top teams!)

Wishful 'fink'in perhaps???---but Covid 19 cud actually be wor 'get oot of jail' card!

It cud work the othaa way of course and if games can't be played for a lang time, then current leegue position cud be to determine who wins the leegue and who iz relegated!--Az we are joint bottom that scenario wud see us gan doon!

Aalso anothaa behind closed doors scenario cud happen!----God forbid!🥶