TYNESIDE UNITED!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 17th November 2021

'The Heedbangers' of Gatesheed pulled of a great result in their FA Cup 1st roond replay at Altrincham last neet!

They won 3-2 to set up a moooth watering home 2nd roond tie against Leegue One Charlton Athletic!

Nee less than NINE! former Toon players were on duty for 'The Heedbangers' last neet in their 14 man squad, includin' player manager Mike Williamson!

And they were: Adam Campbell, Gregg Olley, Dan Ward, Owen Bailey, Alex Nicholson, Louis Story, Jack Hunter, Cedwyn Scott and of course Mike Williamson!

The tie will be on the telly (ITV 4) and will be played on Friday 3rd December at '7:45 bells'---NUFC divvint play til the next day at home to 'The Bornley Hillbillies' and so a large crowd iz anticipated at Gatesheed Stadium!

In othaa news, Gary Hoffman haz resigned az The Premyaa Leegue's chairman, az the so caalled 'big sicks' ("er!" SIX!) are not happy that they wornt informed that the NUFC takeower woz given the green light!

Proof that they HAVE interfered in the PIF takeower, when it woz supposed to be confidential!

No doubt much more to follow on aall this!

SUPERMAC'S RECORD STILL STANDS AFTER 46 YEARS! ----BUT IT WOZ A CLOSE CAALL!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 16th November 2021

Harry Kane went very close to scorin 5 goals in Ing-er-land's 10-0 record win ower San Marino yesterday!

He got 4, includin 2 penalties, before bein' substituted on the hour mark!

This meeenz that 'Supermac' (Malcolm Macdonald), who scored a record breakin' 5 goals against Cyprus at Wembley in 1975, in a European Championship qualifier, STILL HOLDS THE GOALS RECORD for an Inglish player in a competitive game! 

And he did it az an NUFC player of course!

Long may this record stand!

Altogether now!

"Supermac superstar, how many goals have yoo scored so far?"

MARINE 2 DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS 2 (MARINE WIN 5-4 ON PENALTIES) *** FA TROPHY 1st ROOND

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 14th November 2021

"WELCOME TO THE STADIUM OF DARKNESS!"

The Geordie Times haz written so many "Yi couldnt make it up!" stories aboot wor futbaall travels and this one iz near the top of the list, beleeeve yoo me!

Coz of the International break there woz nee Toon game ower the weekend and so aa decided to dee a bit of non leegue groundhoppin' with mee favorite non leegue team, Dunston!

They were playin awaay to Marine of Liverpoool in the FA Trophy and az a'd never been to their groond aa managed to 'cadge a lift' on the team bus!

An uneventval jorney, (apart from gettin stuck in a massive traffic jam on the M62 near Manchester!) and we arrived in good time for the pre match 'gargels' which took place in 'The Edinburgh' next to the groond and then onward to the clubhoose, which woz packed to the rafters!

A'd met 'Davy the Silver Fox' and hiz ever faithful drinkin' partner Barbara (hiz wife!) in 'The Edinburgh', who follow 'The Bad Blue Boys' home and away and we made for the tornstiles 5minutes  before kick off, az there woz a minutes silence for those who lost their lives in conflict! ("We will remember them!")

And then to the match!--because Liverpoool and Evatin wornt playin, like The Toon, there woz a very large crowd for this level of futbaall, in a groond that had its main stand behind the goal and a deed narrow covered terrace on one side and a high fence on the other in a vain attempt to stop the baalls gannin into somebodys back garden!---The numbers on the fence were so they knew where the baalls had landed and they could knock on their door and ask for the baalls back! ("Can we have our ball back please, mister!")

We heeded for the far end of the groond where there woz an open terrace, az Dunston were kickin' that way in the forst half!

It wasnt a very good half to be honest and the 'highlight' woz a big green balloon that the local kids had brung to the match, which blew onto the pitch!---A crowd steward picked it up az the kids asked for their balloon back, but the b*stard burst it instead, to loud boooos from them!

It shud be noted that 'The Bad Blue Boys' played in an aall red kit, by the way, while Marine played in white shirts and black shorts!

Anyway!---the 2nd half started under the floodlights az it woz gettin dark and 4 minutes later they went oot aall of a sudden!

After a while the ref took the players off the pitch and by amazin' coincidence the Dunston number 4 Phil Turnbull woz a 'sparky' (electrician!) and he frantically tried to fix the lights!-----It then went 'viral' with the BBC and Sky Sports reportin' it! (Surely yi couldnt make THIS up!?)

The ref gave a deadline of '5 bells' for the lights to be fixed, or else the game would be abandoned! (Davy and Barbara had to catch a train and couldnt wait for the restart)

Apparently, The Dunston player could anly fix one of the lights despite frantic efforts!---Az he had'nt brought hiz electricians tool box with him to the match (believe it or not?) it took another local 'sparky' Marine fan to help him dee it, az he lived just doon the road!--The chairman of Marine gave him a lift to pick HIZ toolbox up from hiz hoose at '4:45 bells'! (It get crazier every minute folks!)

A miracle then happened az aall the lights suddenly came on, with loud cheers from the fans who had patiently waited in hope that they could be fixed!

The game restarted at '5:05 bells' and the delay seemed to put Dunston oot of their stride and they conceded 2 goals in quick succession from Wignall and Reilly and the game looked dead a buried!

But 'The Bad Blue Boys' are made of sterner stuff and fought back with goals from Sado Djalo and Lee Mason to send the game into penalty kick mode!

Unfortunately for 'us' Marine won it by 5 kicks to 4, az the game ended at '6 bells'----3 hours after it started, which makes it the langest game av ever been tee, from start to finish!

Team sheet and green match ticket---proof that 'we woz there'!

Attendance: 1,202 (a few from Dunston + quite a few watchin' on from their back gardens and hoose windows!)

"ARE YOU WATCHIN' NUMBER 27?"

The 'sparky' in question got some stick on the bus back yem for forgettin' hiz toolbox and nee doubt he will have it on the next away trip!---JUST IN CASE! 

Fans in the crowd put their phone lights on and people in the hooses that surroond the pitch put their spotlights on, in a frantic effort to get the match restarted!

A MARINE TEAM PHOTO FROM THE 1890s

Updated on Munday from the national press!

"NO ONE LIKES US! WE DON'T CARE!"

 Posted '10:20am bells' Saturday 13th November 2021

With nee Toon game coz of the International break, av decided to dee a bit of non leegue groundhoppin and I am heedin to Liverpoool az we speak to watch Marine v Dunston in the FA Trophy!

More hate haz been written aboot NUFC in the Daily Wail, mockin Ananda and wor fans!

At the end of the day it woz The Fat Controller who sold wor club to the PIF and NOT the Toon fans!---Yet WE get aall the stick and not a word against TFC for sellin' it!

Just like Millwaall--NO ONE LIKES US!--- WE DONT CARE!

A 'SIGN' OF THE TIMES! *** AMANDA SPEAKS!

 Posted '11:00am bells' Friday 12th November 2021

There are so many ugly red and blue SD signs plastered everywhere at St. James' Park, that Amanda cannit take a descent photo of wor stadium, withoot gettin a SD advort in the backgroond!

They are everywhere yoo look, from both sides of the club name on The East Stand, to the entrance from the players tunnel, to every stand in the groond!----We havvint coonted them, but there must be 300 at least! 

*The sooner they are gone (just like 'The Fat Controller' and wor former 'National Treasure' manager!) the better!---and then we can 'move on' to much (much!) better days aheed!

"HOWE-WAY THE LAD!" (PART 4)

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 11th November 2021 

* Eddie poses in front of The East Stand with Amanda and hor hubby, Mehrdad! (Looks like Eddie's gannin to wear the number 4 shirt?)

Note that the SD advorts on eethaa side of the club name have been magically airbrushed away!

Eddie's trainin' methods have been a real eye opener and the fact that on hiz forst day in the job he torned up at the trainnin groond before '7 bells' in the mornin', shows hiz enthusiasm and commitment! (Unlike wor previous manager who would have still be in bed fast asleep!)

"Good times are aheed", iz the feelin amongst most supporters, but forst we must get oot of the relegation mess that wor previous owner and manager left us in!

It wont be easy, that's for certain, but we must back him 100%, az that iz wot he will give to us!---100% commitment to the cause!

"HOWE-WAY THE LADS!"

*

MANZFEEELD 6 THE TOON U21S 3 *** EFL TROPHY

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 10th November 2021

THE TOON ARE IN WOR 'AALL BLACKS' STRIP

*Last neet the Toon's U21s lost 6-3 to Manzfeeeld in the ELF Trophy at Field Mill 

'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' woz there to represent 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' and he sent The Geordie Times a detailed match report! (Most of us didnt gan coz we'd been there before for a Leegue Cup tie back in 1992 (0-0)

Forst half: "2-2"

Full time: "6-3, poor 2nd half"

Blondie Alan

TOON PLAYERS CELEBRATE ONE OF WOR THREE GOALS! 

(WHICH ONE IZ ANYBODY'S GUESS?)

*We looked elsewhere to see the goal sequences:

0-1 We took the lead through in the 5th minute through Dylan Stephenson who shot across their keeper

1-1 Manzfeeeld equalised through a Johnson volley

1-2 The Toon retook the lead in the 23rd minute through Joe White with a side footed effort

2-2 Back came the home side with a shot from O'Toole

HT 2-2

3-2 We went behind for the forst time when Johnson scored hiz 2nd with a fine strike

4-2 Langley in The Toon goal brought doon Langley in the box and up stepped Johnson to complete hiz hat-trick from the spot

5-2 Anothaa Langley foul in the box for anothaa penalty to them.

This time Siclair took it to send Langley the wrang way

5-3 In the 90th minute 17 year old Ndiweni reduced the deficit through a tap in

6-3 2 mins into stoppage time completed the rout when Caine tapped in from close range!

That's 10 games in a row that wor U21s have lost in this competition!----NOTT the result we wanted in NOTTINGHAMSHIRE!

Attendance: 805 includin a few NUFC diehards

* 

"HOWE-WAY THE LAD!" (PART 3)

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 9th November 2021

*He's signed at last and he haz got to work straight away, arrivin at the Benton trainin groond just before 7 this mornin'!  

We can anly hope that Eddie's enthusiasm iz transfered and instilled in the players and that we can put a winnin run together, startin' with Brentfaad at SJP a week next Saturday! 

*Eddie Howe wasnt wor forst choice for manager, but ANYBOODY iz better than the last person to be in that roll!----We wont mention who he iz, az he iz history now, az far az we are concerned!

Nee doubt that Eddie arrived orly to see the magnificent 'state of the art' swimming pool that the players have used for the last 14 years, under the previous regime!

*A new and hopefully excitin' chapter will be forthcomin' in the next few years!---We MUST back the new manager and give him a great reception at SJP when he annoonced to the crowd before the Brentfaad game!

"HOWE-WAY THE LAD!"

'NE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTIN 1 THE TOON 1

 Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards, Munday 8th November 2021

"A BLACK DAY IN WOR LANG HISTORY!"

4 trains to get there and 3 to get back from this groond! ---in the middle of nee where!   (Hence wor name for them!)

We caught the '8:03 bells' train from 'The Central' az per usual and heeded for King's Cross to dump wor bags in The Royal Scot hotel and then onward to The Barrell Vaults (az usual) for a quick 'gargel', before catchin anothaa

 train from St Pancras to Haywards Heath and then anothaa to Lewes, where the main 'garglin' would take place! (Lewes iz on the line to Falmer, where the Amex Stadium sits in the middle of nee where---nee pubs etc!)

We walked up the steep hill from the station, passin several bars that were packed with both Toon and Brightin fans and heeded for the main 'drag' where we knew there woz a boozer that wouldnt be so packed caalled The Brewers Arms

After several 'liquid lubrications' there, it woz time to catch the train to Falmer for the ridiculous '5:30 bells' kick off, hence wor owerneet stay in London, coz we couldn't get back in time to catch the last train yem! 

Az usual there were lang queues to get in az fans were sorched for flares etc by stewerds!

We eventually got in and heeded for wor seats in row 'K' of the away end!

The Toon fans were in good voice, despite the fact that Norwich's win at Brentfaad meant that we were bottom of the table before the game even started!

Failure to win would meeen that this would be wor worst start to a season in wor entire history, az we have never went more than 10 leegue games withoot a win! (this woz game number 11)

We played in wor aall black away kit and attacked the goal where the 3,100 Toon fans were housed!

Unfortunately, we struggled to get oot of wor own half and gave away a dodgy penalty in the minute when Trossard woz adjudged to have fouled in the box by Clark and after a lang VAR check the spot kick woz finally given!

It woz taken by Trossard himself and he hit the baall doon the centre of the goal with Darlow divin to hiz right, to put them 1-0 up! (If Darlow had stood still, he would have saved it!)

Az the halftime whistle went we hadnt had one solitary shot on target in the entire half (az usual!)

The 2nd period woz much better az wor manager elect Eddie Howe watched on next to co owner Amanda Staveley in the directors box!

We actually tried to cross the halfway line and had a few chances before Issac Hayden made the breakthrough for us in the 66th minute with a shot from inside the box to level the score!

The Toon fans were in good voice again az they sang, "We're gonna BUY the Leegue!" (Mebeez not this season lads and lasses--but one for the future---hopefully!)

And then the sendin off of Brightin's goalie Sanchez who brought doon Callum Wilson ootside the box when he would surely have scored if he hadnt been fouled!---Anothaa VAR check and delay and the ref produced the red card to the brightin keeper!

Az they'd used aall their subs their number 5 Dunk, had to gan in goal!

Shelvey lined up the free kick from 25 yards oot and surely he would test the keeper with a shot?----But NO!---he decided to cross to the far post and the baall woz cleared!---A great chance wasted to collect the 3 points and not lang after this the ref blew for full time! (Wot the hell WOZ Shelvey 'finkin' aboot???)

The draw meant that wor worst run in wor history woz extended to 11 winless games! (12 if yoo include the Leegue Cup!)

Attendance: 31,000 (3,100 Toon fans)

The chaotic queue for the train!

After the match we heeded for the queue at the train station to get to Brightin six mies away and had to wait 45 minutes in the queue to get on a train! (arnt yoo glad that WE have a groond in the city centre?)

After a few gargels in The Lord Nelson Inn, we heeded back to the station to catch the train back to London---It woz a torturous jorney, az the supposed one and a qwaater hour jorney, but took 2 hours!--arrivin back at St. Pancras at 'qwaataa to midneet bells'!

Most of the bars were shut by then and so wee heeded back to the hotel for some much needed 'shut eye' "ZZZZzzzz!!!!"---before catchin the train yem on Sunday mornin!

But not before a quick gargel in The Parcel Yard at King's Cross!

11 games withoot a win woz a black day indeed for wor team who played in aall black, but better times are surely aheed for the richest club in the world!

More match pix and some pub pix to follow---when we get time!

NE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTIN v THE TOON *** TOMORROW EVENIN'!

 Posted '2:42pm bells' Friday 5th November (Bonnaa neet) 2021

Updated '6:40pm bells'

We make the lang trek to the sooth coast tomorrow and we are on the '8:00 bells' train from 'The Central to King's Cross in London and them onwards to Lewes for the pre match gargels!

From there it's off to Falmer where 'Ne Where Near Brightin' play (6 miles from their city centre--hence wor name for them) for the ridiculous '5:30 bells' kick off for live telly!

Because of the kick off time, we have been forced to stay owerneet near King's Cross station, and then catch an orly train yem on Sunday mornin'!

Failure to win will make it 11 Premyaa Leegue games withoot one, which will be a new unwanted club record!

Not sure if Eddie Howe will be at the game, az news still awaits of hiz appointment az wor new manager?

Graeme Jones in the meantime haz said in the press conference within the last hour, that he will be in the dugoot tomorrow and in charge!

He aalso said that "Nothing iz cast in stone!", in relation to Howe's appointment!

Updated '6:40pm 🔔s'

"STOP PRESS!----STOP PRESS!"

"HOWE'S ABOUT THAT, THEN!"

Aall 3,100 away tickets sold oot quickly, which iz remarkable, considerin' its live on the telly, the crazy kick off time and the distance involved! (A near 700 mile roond trip in wor langest away trip of the season!)

A full Geordie Times match and pub crawl report will appear here sometime on Sunday neet OR Munday mornin'!

Az per usual, "Watch this space!"

Footnote: 'Bonnaa neet' = 'Bonfire night'