Wednesday, 20 October 2021

BRUCEY SACKED!!!--- 2 DOON--- 1 TO GAN! (PENFOLD!)

 Posted 10:45am bells' Wedinzday 20th October 2021


Joyous news reaches The Geordie Times at '10:31 bells' precisely that Brucey haz been sacked after 1 game and just under 2 weeks of the PIF ownership!

Coach Graeme Jones will take temporary charge until a new manager iz appointed!

🤪👍🍺

We never wanted him to fail, we just wanted a team that tried and entertained. This never happened! He woz The Fat Controller's puppet on a string, simple az!  £8 MILLION payoff az well! (Nice work, if yoo can get it!)

WITH A WIN RATE OF JUST 27%  WITH NUFC AND NEE WINS AND 19 GOALS CONCEDED IN 9 GAMES THIS SEASON, HE IZ INDEED USELESS!

PS: It woz Villa fans who forst coined the phrase 'cabbage head', when they threw a cabbage at him durin one game!


Tuesday, 19 October 2021

"WE DON'T WANT TO SPOIL THE PARTY!---BUT WE WILL!"

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 19th October 2021

*


"NEE WANT LIKES US!---IT'S NOT FAIR!"

Cannit believe the above heedline by 'Kick It Out'?

At the end of the day, fans were just havin a bit fun wearin Saudi heed gear to welcome wor new owners, but now we are somehow deemed kind of 'racist' because of it!???

It seems that the whole world iz against us!

And now we hear that Lascelles and Hayden were fightin in the players tunnel after the Sporz game and that many of the players just cannit believe that Brucey iz still here, nearly 2 weeks after the PIF took ower wor club!

*On top of that, 18 of the 20 Premyaa Leegue clubs, hostile to wor takeower, have voted to stop NUFC gettin any lucrative sponsorship deals, with anly 'us' and Man City not votin in favour! 

*Then of course it's the teams performances and managers tactics which have cost us 19 goals against and NEE wins in 9 attempts so far this season in Leegue and Leegue Cup!

Just why Brucey hazzint been sacked by now iz a complete mystery, az we have won just 7 oot of wor last 38 games!---a sackin offence at ANY other club----leegue or non leegue!

The fans want him oot, most of the players want him oot and nee doubt the PIF want him oot az well!----We just need somebody to steady the ship until the January transfor window opens, before we hit the Championship iceberg!---The clock iz tickin fast now and we can anly hope that a new man iz in charge before wor trip to London next Saturday, when we meet a Palace team, fresh from their draw at The Arse last neet!---a game they nearly won az well!

We wait in hope!

Monday, 18 October 2021

THE TOON 2 SPORZ 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2021-2022

 Posted '3:00pm bells' Munday 18th October 2021



"THE RIVER (TYNE) WILL RISE AGAIN!"

Wot a day of mixed emotions!----The build up to the game woz electric and we arrived at the groond more than an hour before kick off, which iz nearly an hour earlier than we normally dee!


Fans dressed in Arabian garb were 'a plenty' az we approached the entrance to The Milburn Stand and were aall in happy mode az the game neared the '4:30 bells' kick off!

Wor new owner woz introduced to the crowd az 'BIG RIVER' woz played at full blast ower the loudspeakers, with fans in The Gallowgate End raisin a banner with the lyrics to the song, sung by Jimmy Nail!



The welcome woz thunderous and so woz the kick off when with just 2 minutes on the clock Callum Wilson's divin heeder from a Manquillo cross put us 1-0 up at The Leazes End!



HONESTLY!-- the noise that greated that goal woz the LOUDEST a'v ever hord in the 57 years a'v been comin' to SJP!

The 3,000 Sporz fans high up in level 7 of that end responded with chants of: "Where were you when you were poor?" (Class!)

Unfortunately, the joy lasted for just 15 minutes az wor defensive frailties became wor doonfaall, when Sporz equalised at The Gallowgate End through Ndombele, who hit a pile driver shot (unmarked) from 20 yards oot in the 17th minute!

We seemed to collapse like a pack of cards after that and Sporz made it 2-1 to them when Harry Kane lobbed ower Karl Darlow in The Toon goal 5 minutes later!----He looked offside to us, but a VAR check conformed that he woz level with play and the goal stood!  

And then with 7 minutes left of the half, aa could see fans franically shoutin' and wavin low in The East Stand that sommik woz wrang in the crowd!

One guy woz wavin hiz coat and then Sporz player Reguilon who woz on that side of the pitch, ran ower to the ref and pointed to that section of the crowd!----Someone woz havin a


 cardiac arrest and a deliberator woz rushed from the dugoot across the pitch!

After wot seemed like an age, the ref took the players off the pitch and we feared the worst az we looked on from The Milburn Stand balcony!   Happily a doctor woz on hand to save hiz life and bring him roond and he got a standin ovation from the crowd!

Some other fans had given the bloke CPR and credit to AALL of them for wot they did!

So, special thanx to Sporz players, especially Sergio Reguilon, doctor Tom Pritchard, St John's Ambulance Brigade and the fans in that section of the stand!---Yoo will be forever in wor hearts!💓

After a 30 minute break the players came back to play the remainin' 7 minutes of the half----However it woz Sporz who increased their lead when a Kane cross foond Heung-min unmarked in the box and he had the simple task of sidefootin the baall into the net after 4 minutes of the resumption!  ---wor 19th goal conceded in 8 Premyaa Leegue games!

The crowd woz a bit flat in the 2nd period az Sporz went for more goals with NUFC unable to dent their defence!

Sporz chants of: "No noise from the Saudi boys!", then came from level 7 of The Leazes!

An own goal by Dier in the 89th minute gave us some hope, but wor visitors held oot with some ridiculous time wasting in stoppage time, but in aall honesty we were lucky just to lose by the one goal!



Chants against Brucey started in the 73rd minute and surely he cannit survive for much langer! The shambolic runnin of the club by 'The Fat Controller' haz certainly left it's mark!

Attendance: 52,214 (3,000 Sporz fans)

With the investment by the PIF there are much better times aheed for certain!----The richest club in the world, "WILL RISE AGAIN!"


*In The Bodega pre match, az the bar gradually filled up from 'high noon bells' onwards!

'High noon bells'! ^
'1:30 bells'! ^
'2:45 bells' ^
LAWRENCE OF BODEGIA!


Sunday, 17 October 2021

THE TOON v SPORZ **** FREEDOM DAY!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 17th October 2021



"WE'RE RICH BEYOND WOR WILDEST DREAMS!"

Today iz the day that aall NUFC fans have been dreamin' aboot!

New very (very!) rich owners and NEE 'Fat Controller' anymore!

The atmosphere iz sure to be electric and we can anly hope that we can get wor forst win of the season, az Brucey---somehow---takes charge of hiz 1,000 game az a manager (97th with The Toon!)

'Wor Flags' are back az well, havin boycotted flag displays until 'yee naa who' departed!

A new giant flag made in Cologne in Jawmany will be on display in 'The Gallowgate End' and we cannit wait to see wots on it!

Happy days are here again after 5,000 plus days of misery, under 'The Fat Controller's disastrous reign!

A full Geordie Times match report and pix will appear here sometime on Munday!

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

*



Friday, 15 October 2021

WOT A DIFFERENCE FIVE WEEKS MAKES!

 Posted '2:52pm bells' Friday 15th October 2021



Just 5 weeks ago we played Moan U at The Theatre of Muppets with Ronaldo makin a hero's retorn to Manchester!

If ever there woz a game that aa DIDN'T want to gan tee, this woz it!

Aa dreaded it az aa felt for certain we would lose again!---and of course that's exactly wot happened in wor 4-1 defeat, and it woz a sombre mood az we retorned to Tyneside!

Now just 5 weeks later a'm on cloud 9 and cannit wait for wor game v Sporz on Sunday to welcome wor new very rich owners to SJP!

The richest club in the world!---Yi'd better believe it!

BRUCEY PRESSER AT '1:30 bells' TODAY! (Now 2:15)

 Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards, Friday 15th October 2021


Steve Bruce takes hiz predicted final press conference in one and a half hours time and 'The Geordie Times', alang with aall Toon fans will be watchin' intently from '1:30 bells' onwards (now '2:15 bells') to see wot he haz to say aboot hiz situation at NUFC!

Rumour haz it that he haz been offered 70% of hiz contract 'to walk', but he reportadly iz hangin' on for the full £8 million he iz entitled tee!

A ridiculous amoont for a man, who at best iz a 'run of the mill' Championship manager!  7 wins in wor last 37 games and NEE wins in 8 attempts so far this season, sez it aall!  

96 games in charge of NUFC:  Won 28, drawn 28, lost 40  Win percentage 29.2% given him a points rate of 1.166 per game (999 games in total with hiz numerous clubs and NEE major trophys!)

Just why 'The Fat Controller' gave him such a lucrative rollin contract to a less than average manager, iz shear stupidity and very hard to fathom?

The PIF could aalways put him on 'gardenin leave' to see oot hiz contract, which would cost them (and him) much less money!

By 'gardenin leave' we mean tendin' to a cabbage patch on an allotment, somewhere! 

WE will bring yoo news of this az soon az the presser iz ower!

So "Watch this space!" in 3 hours time to find oot wot he haz said! 


Updated '1:30 bells'

                          🥶

Updated '2:25pm bells'

95% of Toon fans divvint want Brucey but he iz in charge for the Sporz game and we MUST back the team and NOT focus on him!
He said in hiz presser that nee discussions have been had aboot hiz future when Amanda met him on Munday!
Things could aall change of course after hiz thooosandth game on Sunday!
Like aa say, we must back the team and hope that the electric atmosphere can spur (sic!) US on! 

Updated much later
 


Brucey sticks the 🔪into the press for darin to predict that he woz gettin the sack on Munday!
However!, we feel that it won't be lang before their predictions come true!


PS: Dont 'fink' wor new owners will be impressed with Brucey's rant, somehow!

Thursday, 14 October 2021

DOUBLE HEADER DELIGHT!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 15th October 2021


Wor Under 23 squad have played 2 games in 3 days at Blue Flames, Benton, winnin both of them!

Firstly, on Munday we won 4-0 v Bormingham City U23s in the Premyaa Leegue Cup, with goals from Westendorf in the 8th minute, Anderson in the 63rd and 90th minute (pen) and Stephenson in between Anderson's goals in the 70th minute!


Attendance: 304 


Then last neet we beat Newcasil Benfeeeld 3-1 in The Northumberland Senior Cup!


 Goals from Flaherty in the 47th and 72nd minute (pen), with Westendorf scorin in the 79th minute. Benfeeeld goal woz scored by Walker in the 50th minute.


Attendance: 521

Wednesday, 13 October 2021

SOUR 🍇!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 13th October 2021


News reaches The Geordie Times that Amanda iz waitin for the green light from the PIF to sack Brucey!

Meeenwhile!  The other so caalled 'big six' are up in arms aboot wor takeower, az they are frightened it will dent their Champions Leegue hopes in the near future! ("Aaaaarrrrr!")



ie: They are runnin scared for certain!

Any news on Brucey will be forthcomin very soon we hope?   Az per usual, "Watch this space for any developments!"




*

Monday, 11 October 2021

"YOR GETTIN' SACKED IN THE MORNIN'!"

 Posted '9:42am bells' Munday 11th October 2021

Updated Tuesday



News that Amanda iz due to meet Brucey for the forst time this morning haz been reported in wor 'little sister' paper The Times of London!

He iz expected to be told that hiz services will nee langer be required and he will then get hiz 4 million 'pay off', for abject failure! (Nee wins in 8 this season and just 7 wins in wor last 37 games!)

Graeme Jones iz expected to take the reigns until a replacement manager iz appointed!

Aboot 10 names have been mentioned so far, but not Arsene Wenger who would be 'The Geordie Times'z choice!

7 FA Cup wins and 3 Premyaa Leegue titles in 20 years at 'The Arse' makes impressive reading!

Az per usual "Watch this space for forthaa developments!" 

Updated Tuesday: 

There iz nee news yet az to wethaa wor beleaguered heed coach haz been peddled!---Nee doubt we will hear sommik in the next few days!


Sunday, 10 October 2021

NUFC CAN SPEND OWER £200 MILLION ON PLAYERS!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 10th October 2021

SOMEWHERE NEAR LEAZES PARK LAKE!

The Geordie Times 'little sister' paper The Sunday Times haz printed an excellent article today aboot just how much NUFCs new owners can spend in the transfor window in January, under the financial fair play rules!  

And it's a whoppin 205 MILLION QUID!

To be honest the takeower iz now sinkin in and much happier days are aheed for the lang sufferin Toon fans!



NUFC--The Richest futbaall club in the world iz ready to take off!🤪👍🚀


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