THE TOON V THE BLADE RUNNERS *** TEATIME! ('6:00 bells')

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 19th May 2021

A SIGN OF NORMALITY IN STRAWBERRY PLACE!

10,000 Toon fans will descend on St. James' Park for the forst time in 15 months when NUFC play wor last home game of the season against aalready relegated Sheff U!

It's been a very lang time indeed since we last set foot inside 'The Cathedral on the Hill', 445 days to be exact!---and with ower 40,000 empty seats it will be a very strange feeling indeed! (It will aalso be a very strange feeling to be INSIDE a PUB!)

Hopefully we can win against the leegue's bottom side and move up a couple of places in the table!?

Brucey haz been talkin up the opposition again!: "If we don't show them huge respect it will be difficult for us, as they are a decent side!" (Steve! They are bottom on the leegue and were relegated ages ago!--A decent side????) (20th top!)

Luckily for me aa managed to get mee hands on a precious 🎫 ticket in the ballot and aa will dee mee best to shout for the missin 40,000!

And YES, aa will be cheering the team on, az opposed to slaggin Brucey off in the dugoot, even though aa never wanted him in forst place and hope he iz gone by the end of the summer, with new very rich owners in place by then! (At the end if the day, he won't resign or he will lose hiz £4 million pay off, so The Fat Controller will stick by him, until we are sold!)

Wishful finkin?  But we MUST have sommik to cling onto after this truly aaful season, watchin on from the hoose and the pub etc,  on a big screen, mobile 'telling bone' or 💻laptop!

Roll on next season when we can actually gan to AALL the games! 🙏

PS: A special mention for 'Dave from York'!--This will be Dave's 72nd consecutive season that he haz seen NUFC play at SJP,  gannin way back to the 1949-1950 season! 👏

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime tomorrow! Az per usual, watch ⌚ this space!

"COME ON BRENTFAAD!"

 Posted '2:40pm bells' Munday 17th May 2021

                      BRENTFAAD'S NEW GROOND

In the Championship play offs tooneet Barnslee play Swanzee and Bournmoooth play Brentfaad in the 1st leg of the semi finals!

Az The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers have been to the forst 3 mentioned before, we are hopin and preyin that Brentfaad win tooneet and in the final at Wembley!

We played at their new groond in wor disastrous Leegue Cup defeat last year, but were prevented from gannin coz the game woz behind closed doors of course!

So a Brentfaad win tooneet, which kicks off at '6:00 bells' wud be great!

Aall 👂's  will be on mee truck 📻 from '6:00 🔔's onwards!

"COME ON YOO BEES!"🪰

B

Updated '8:16pm 🔔's

Bournemoooth won 1-0🥶

Still there's the 2nd leg at Brentfaad!🙏

GROUNDHOPPERS ARCHIVE *** IBROX PARK, GLASGOW, MAY 1969

Posted '2:00am bells' Sunday 16th May 2021

IBROX PARK 1969 (Capacity 118,000)

In this month 52 years ago, aa went to mee forst ever 'foreign' away game, when me and 2 mates played 'the wag' off school and hitch-hiked across the border to Glasgow for wor Inter Cities Fairs Cup semi final tie v Rangers! (Now the UEFA Cup)
I woz 14 years old at the time and I believe that we were the forst ever Toon fans to hitch-hike to a competitive away game ootside Ing'lind (Which woz wor forst ever season in Europe)

Archive match report on that game below!

THE TOON 3 THE BLUE MOONIES 4 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2020-2021

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 15th May 2021

GOALS GALORE @ GALLOWGATE!

JOELINTON PENALTY

A game that didn't matter, az we were safe from the dreaded drop and Man City were crowned champions orlier this week, torned oot to be a 7 goal thriller, which went the visitors way 3-4

Another visit to The Strawberry 🍓opposite SJP woz the order of the day, az we watched on from a laptop on the open balcony!

The goal sequences and controversies were az follows! 

24th minute: After sustained attacks from wor visitors the baall ended up at the other end of the pitch when The Toon got a corner at The Leazes End.

Shelvey took it and hiz pinpoint centre foond Krafth  and hiz bullet heeder beat their keeper Scott Carson aall ends up, to put us 1-0 up!  In the excitement the drinks nearly got knocked off the table az we celebrated an unexpected lead! 1-0 to us!

35th minute: Jonjo Shelvey hits the bar from a direct free kick just ootside the box!

39th minute: Cancelo equalizes for Man City with a shot into the corner of the net! 1-1

42nd minute: Torres puts wor visitors 2-1 up with a brilliant mid air back heel  to the centre of the goal!---After a lengthy VAR delay the goal woz finally given, despite a City player bein just offside?

Deep into stoppage time NUFC are awarded a penalty after Joelinton iz fouled in the box! After another lengthy VAR check the penalty woz conformed and Joelinton made nee misstayk, puttin the baall into the corner of the net! 2-2 HT 

62nd minute: Joe Willock iz fouled in the box and the ref points straight to the spot for wor 2nd penalty of the game! 

JOE WILLOCK PENALTY MISS---BUT HE PUT THE REBOUND IN!

 Willock takes it this time, but hiz shot iz parried away by Carson!---Luckily for Willock the baall rebounds to him and he haz the simple task of tappin' the baall into the net from close range! 3-2 to us

64th minute: The lead didnt last very lang az Torres scores hiz 2nd goal for The Blue Moonies with a shot to the top corner of the goal!

3-3

66th minute: Torres claims hiz hat-trick with a shot to the centre of wor goal! 3-4 to them!

That's the way it stayed to replicate Man City's 3-4 win in 1968 when the won the old 1st Division at SJP!

Their win woz aalso a record az they have now won 12 away games on the spin!

A spirited performance from NUFC with wor safety aalready conformed!---Although the stats show we anly had 17% possession which iz the joint lowest in Premyaa Leegue history---apparently! 

THE STREETS ARE DESERTED, POST MATCH!

 

NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPER NEWS!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 14th May 2021

THE LNER STADIUM, YORK

TWO GAMES OF TWO HALFS!

This season isn't even finished, yet we have news of 2 pre season friendlies that have been arranged for the SAME DAY on Sunday 18th July, when we will split the 1st team squad between the 2 games at York and Harrogate! (25 players are allowed in a 1st team squad)

The good news iz that a new groond iz on the list--York City's new stadium on the outskirts of York!

Harrogate Toon iz the other game on a groond we have previously visited in 2002 when an NUFC resorve side visited their Wetherby Road groond!

So guess which game we are gannin tee!?

Hopefully things will be back to near normal by then and 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' can tick a new groond off the list, after more than a year since we last visited one! (Rochdale's Spotland groond in January 2020)

On other matters!

Tooneet at '8:00 🔔bells' NUFC face Man City at SJP in wor 3rd last match of the season!

The game iz a dead rubber of course az we are safe from relegation and Man City are newly crowned Premyaa Leegue champions--- and they will probably send a very weakened team, with the Champions Leegue final in their sights at the end of the month!

Still too strong for us no doubt, az we watch on from a laptop in The 🍓 boozer ootside balcony, ower the road from SJP!

A full Geordie Times match report on the game will appear here, az per usual on Saturday!

"Watch this space!"

TICKET NEWS ON THE SHEFF UNITED GAME

Postie haz just put the precious ticket through mee letterbox!🤪👍🎫

It seems that of the 23,000 long torm season ticket holders, less than 10,000 applied for the 10,000 tickets available and so NUFC have annoonced that season ticket holders on short torm deals can apply for ticket for level 7 of the stadium!

FROM THE NUFC WEBSITE!

The fact that we couldnt sell 10,000 to 23,000 loyal fans, shows just how much the fans are disenchanted with the club at this moment! And remember, we havint been to a live game for well ower a year!

We dont know of ONE FAN who applied for a ticket who woz refused!

Brucey's declaration that he WON'T resign, despite wide spread fan outrage at the teams performances, certainly doesn't help sell tickets against an aalready relegated team!

25 years ago there woz a 10,000 waitin list for season tickets----now we can't sell 10,000 to wor most loyal fans!????

AND FINALLY!

Congratulations to Brucey for winnin the April manager of the month award! The 1st time he haz EVER won it in 23 years of management, which shows just how good he iz! (NUFC started April in 17th place in the table and finished April in er! 17th place in the table!!!)

HE WINS THE TOP PRIZE!

3 DEAD RUBBERS TO GAN!

 Posted📫 'high noon bells'🔔 Thorsday 13th May 2021

NUFC are safe of course, az we end the season with 3 dead rubber games, with nothin' to play for!

1st up are newly crowned champions The Blue Moonies of Mancland tomorrow neet at SJP (will be watchin on from The 🍓 just ower the road from the groond!)

Then the BIG ONE! A home game some of us can actually gan tee, v the relegated Blade Runners from Sheffeeeld next Wedinzday(your truly woz one of the lucky 10,000 in the ballot!)🙏 

And then the final game of the season, away to another relegated side, Fulim at Craven Cottage! (Will be watchin on from 🌹ies this time, just doon the road from SJP!

To be honest aa will be glad when this season iz aall ower for more reasons than one!

ONE: having to watch games in pubs, at home on 💻, or listen on from truck 📻's iz not my idea of fun!

TWO: The dreadful futbaall that we have played MOST of the time, iz enough to send yoo to 💤😴!

Roll on next season with, new players, a new manager AND hopefully VERY RICH NEW OWNERS!🙏 (or are we living in fantasy land?)

ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES!

 Posted '11:11am bells' Wedinzday 12th May 2021

THE LAST WE MET AT SJP WOZ THE 1st GAME WE COULDN'T ATTEND LAST JOON   SAINT MAX SCORIN THE FORST GOAL IN THE 3-0 WIN!

Got an e mail from NUFC yesterday to say that aa woz one of the lucky ones and have been allocated one of the 10,000 tickets available for wor home game v Sheff U next Wedinzday!

Obviously I am ower the 🌙to get a precious 🎫 and have tried to get on the club's website with nee success so far, az there's a massive queue online to book a🪑!

PS: Eventually got through and booked a seat in The Gallowgate End row FF (wherever that iz? --I normally sit in The Milburn Stand balcony, but that section ain't open!)

The fans who I feel sorry for are 40,000 who can't attend and I will be shouting extra hard for aall of yoo who are sadly missin oot!

I will be supporting the team 100% and its such a shame that wor top scorer Callum Wilson iz injured and won't be playin'!

More to follow on aall this later!

TWO DOON***ONE TO GAN!

 Posted '3:00pm bells' Munday 10th May 2021

With Fat Sam's West Brom the 2nd team to be relegated yesterday from the top flight (for the 5th time in the Premyaa Leegue era!) and with Sheff United aalso gone of course, this leaves just one place to fill in the relegation trapdoor!

Fulim play Bornley tooneet in West London and if they win they can still mathimatally match wor points total!

If they draw, then they CANNIT catch us!

If they lose, then they are relegated az well!

Aall Toon eyes (or in my case ears, from mee truck radio!) will be listenin'🎶 on intently from '8:00 🔔s'  onwards!

The Geordie Times will publish the final score az soon az we can!🙏

Updated just after 'midneet bells'🔔

Bornley won 2-0 so NUFC are safe (for another season at least)👍 and Fulim gan doon!

WOT GANS AROOND COMES AROOND!

 Posted '8:51pm bells' Sunday 9th May 2021

'Fat Sam the Ugly Man' woz overjoyed when NUFC went doon in 2016, when he woz manager of the SMBs---and aall Toon fans are overjoyed that the same fate haz now happened to him a few seconds ago tooneet, when hiz West Brom side lost 3-1 to 'The Arse' to relegate them to The Championship!

Hiz CV of never being relegated from the top flight now lies in tatters!👹

THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE 2 THE TOON 4 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2020-2021"

 Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards, Saturday 8th May 2021

"EVERY PICTURE TELLS A STORY!"

Wot can we say? We fully expected a 4 goal thrashin and NOT a 4 goal victory! This woz NUFCs best performance by miles this season az we pulverised  the Champions Leegue contenders to gan up to 'nose bleed' height in the table!

How it unfolded:

Aa couldn't find a boozer in The Toon to watch it, so aa heeded yem to watch on mee laptop, with some broon ale and mee mascot Toon bear for company!

Playin in wor aall yellow away kit we started off on the front foot and 'hunted' the Foxes from the word go!

22nd minute: Joe Willock opens the scorin with a nice finish 

0-1 to The Toon!

34th minute: Paul Dummett leaps above the Lestaa defence to power in a great heeder from a Matt Ritchie corner

0-2 to The Toon!!

PAUL DUMMETT GOAL (NUMBER 3 IN YELLOW!)

64th minute: An ootstandin pass from Matt Ritchie finds Callum Wilson and wor top scorer makes nee misstayk with a fine effort to beat Schmeichel in the home goal!

0-3 to The Toon!!!

73rd minute: Wilson hits the post, but the rebound faalls to him to put the baall in the net from a very tight angle!

0-4 to The Toon!!!!

80th minute: The Basil Brush Brigade pull one back through Aalbrighton

1-4 to The Toon!!!!

87th minute: Anothaa Lestaa goal from Iheanacho to set the norves janglin!

2-4 to The Toon!!!!

But their comeback came too late in the game and thankfully NUFC held oot for a very famous victory to propel us up to 13th in the table and virtually banish aall thoughts of relegation az Fat Sam the Ugly Man's West Brom cannit now catch us and Fulim can now anly match wor points total if they win their remainin 4 games and we lose wor remainin' 3!-----Very highly unlikely az now we need just ONE point to secure safety!

HAPPY DAYS!----Can we now have wor takeower pleeeeeze!?

*