Sunday, 3 January 2021

THE TOON V LESTAA *** LIVE UPDATES!

 Posted from 1:21 pm bells' onwards, Sunday 3rd January 2021


Geordie Times predictions: NUFC 33% possession and 4 shots on target! (We never predict score!)

*Goals and major incidents az they happen on mee laptop!

The kick off looms az BIG Ted looks on az he rests on a bottle of Dog!

11th minute, Vardy scores for Lestaa but goal iz ruled oot for offside!

18th minute  weak Joelinton heeder, 1st effort on target from NUFC

Halfway point of 1st half

45% possession to us!



HT 0-0   44% possession

The ref has touched the baall 3 times which is more than the 2 teams have had shots on target!

1 solitary (weak) heeder from Joelinton!

"Oh no!--Have yoo seen the dodgy channel I'm watchin'! ☠(Alledgedly!)☠

*goal: 54th minute to Lestaa   Maddison shot!😳


Halfway point of 2nd half

41% possession   NEE shots on target this period!

goal: 72nd minute 0-2 T'mans

Carroll shot (centre)

GOAL! Super sub Andy Carroll fires home at the Gallowgate End    there iz still hope!🙏

Wilson shot on target   should have scored late on!

FT lost 1-2  2 efforts on target, 43% possession

Doon to 15th in table!

That's 5 "er! sorry" 6! games winless now and Lestaa have now won at SJP 6 (SIX!) times in a row!

Aalso the stats leegue table below doesnt make good readin' at aall for Toon fans or 'Broken Nose Bruce'!



Saturday, 2 January 2021

THE TOON v THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted '8:30pm bells' Saturday 2nd January 2021


"HELTER SKELTER!"

Cannit believe Brucie's upbeat talk aboot wor 'great' performances in the last 2 games!  The way he is gannin on yoo would 'fink' that we had actually beaten Man City and Liverpoool, when in fact we didnt even score a solitary goal and had just 2 shots on target in each game!

The anly plus point iz that we didnt concede 10 goals in the 2 games as expected, and actually got a precious point into the bargain!

I've seen too many up and doon 'helter skelter' rides' in the time I have supported NUFC, way before 'Broken Nose Bruce' and 'The Fat Controller' were here! (ie: climb up the ladder when we win, then come sliding doon the chute, when we lose!)

In the 1960's I witnessed my first ever defeat watchin The Toon, v Carlisle in the FA Cup in front of a 56,500 crowd, anly for us to bounce back in the next 2 home games--and then gan backwards again!

In the 1970s it happened again when we lost to a non leegue team beginning with the *8th letter of the alphabet ( I woz there!)(*I still can hardly bear to say their name, to this day!) and then beating Man U away in the next game!

And so it gans on into the 80s, 90s and the 21st century!

AYE! we did play a lot better against Liverpoool, in paticular, but for Bruce to say that it woz a 'great' performance, woz a bit ower the top!

Arguably, wor best player Saint-Maximin iz still suffering from covid and will be missin for sometime yet!--so we must get by withoot him!---We wish him well!

We shall soon find oot what 'team' will torn oot, when we play 'The Basil Brush Brigade' of Lestaa tomorrow, az to wethaa the corner haz at last been torned, OR not az the case may be!? ( ie: will we gan for the jugular---OR park the bus?)

Geordie Times 'live' updates will be forthcomin' from mee laptop from the '2:15pm bells' kick off time!

THE GEORDIE CRUSADE!

 Posted '6:00am bells' Saturday 2nd January 2021

"HANDS UP FOR THE TAKEOVER!"

*NCSL (Newcasil Consortium Supporters Ltd) have sent a NINE page letter to Boris in Downing Street, demanding that he intervenes in the PIF takeower saga, which haz been draggin on for nearly 10 months! 


 

They plan to march to Downing Street if they divvint get answers by January the thorteenth, although they divvint say if that iz via 'The Central' (Newcasil train station) or King's Cross (London) after catchin' a 125 southbound!---Its a lang way to waalk to London from The Toon lads an' lasses (280 miles), so it would be much eezeeaa to catch the train doon and get the tube across London to St. James' Park tube station (where else?) and march the half mile to number 10 Downing Street from there! 


Aall we can say from 'The Geordie Times', iz try your level best to help get the deal ower the line and best of luck from aall Toon fans!
Keep the pressure on and divvint ever give up!👍🙏


^

Friday, 1 January 2021

DOON MEMORY LANE *** ANNFIELD PLAIN 1993

 Posted '5:15pm bells' Friday 1st January 2020



We heed back to 1993 for this archive match report from Annfield (and NO! we havvint misspellt it!)

Ground 113 Derwent Park *see article below!

 (GROUND NUMBER 113)

Date of First Visit: 10TH AUGUST 1993

DERWENT PARK, ANNFIELD PLAIN

ANNFIELD PLAIN 1  

NEWCASTLE UNITED XI 1 (Costa Costas)

CHARITY MATCH---ATTENDANCE 3,000

 


"FROM ANFIELD TO ANNFIELD PLAIN!"

 

In Stanley, Coonty Durham on the 16th February 1909 a pit disaster at Burns Pit claimed the lives of 168 men and boys when it blew up and collapsed on top of them.

 

The youngest was a boy of 13 who was taken doon the mine by his faatha tih see where he was due tih start work the very next week.

The last survivor, 'Paddy Joyce', died in 1974. He was docked a shillin' of his pay (5p) coz he failed tih complete his shift on the day of the blast!

SO!---why am ah tellin' yih aall this??---WELL!, there's a very good reason!----lerriz explain!:

 

Kevin Keegans grandfaatha, Frank, was a mines inspector at the pit and was one of the rescue heroes who risked his aan life tih save az many az he could.

 

After aall them years a fund was eventually set up to raise money to honour the victims and this iz where Kevin Keegan comes intih the picture.

 

This game was arranged tih raise money for a memorial pit wheel on the site of the disaster ,for aall those who had tragically died that day.

And when approached, Special 'K' was anly too glad tih help by sendin' a Newcastle XI tih play the local side, Annfield Plain.


KEEGAN INTERVIEWED ON 'LOOK NORTH' BEFORE THE MATCH


Tickets had gone on sale at the village's social club and they reckoned it would be a selloot such was the attraction of 'Keegans Boys',SO!---ah phoned them up ,tih be telt by a comittee man that there were anly a handful left, but that he would keep some for iz if a wanted them!---but a'd have tih be quick!

 

In 'a fit of panic'!, ah jumped in mee 'jam jar' and made a 'mad dash' for Annfield Plain tih get the 'said' tickets for the lads!. The gadgie a'd spoken tee on the 'telling-bone' (remember 'Catweazle'?) HAD kept  half a dozen for iz and ah gladly gave him the 'bit' for them.

 

"They're the last six tickets!", he said, before dissapearin' intih the lounge tih play bingo!

"Cheers mate!"---"HOOSE!"

 

 'TWO WEEKS LATER!':  

 


By a strange qwirk of fate, Newcastle had played Liverpool in a friendly at Anfield three day orlier and here we were (Er!---three days later!) at the other 'Annfield', but this one, of the 'Plain' variety!

(The groond was a bit different to Anfield iz well, az it had nee stands apart from  a tiny shelter, which waz aboot the size of a garden hut roof! in front of the changin' rooms!) (the anly otha bit of shelter was in------the DUGOOTS!)

Although--tih be fair, there was a smaall 'Kop like' hill at one end (Er!--- aboot fower foot high!)

 


A magnificent crowd of some three thoosand 'torned up' for the game and it was just a pity that it 'torned oot' tih be----whey!---not much 'Kop'! (unlike the Anfield game which was a corker!)

 


Trialist midfielder Costa Costas (remember him?----naar!----neetha div ah!) scored the Toon's anly goal,when he hit a shot from just ower the halfway line (above), past ex Toon keeper Kevin Carr, but it was'nt aall 'plain sailin' for the black 'n' whites' (sic!) in a game that ended up one's a piece, much tih the delight of the home crowd and their players---who!---aall went home happy chappies!

Proceeds from the game at Derwent Park went to The West Stanley Disaster Memorial Fund az the home side celebrated their centenary!

THE WEST STANLEY PIT DISASTER MEMORIAL WHEEL
      

THE GEORDIE TIMES WISHES A VERY HAPPY 2021 TO AALL WOR REEDERS!

 Posted 'midneet bells' Friday 1st January 2021



"AZ AN INDEPENDANT NATION, HAPPY NEW YEAR!"






FROM THE BANKS 'O' THE TYNE, GEORDIELAND!


Thursday, 31 December 2020

20-20-VISION---ER!----SORRY!---DERISION!

 Posted '1:00pm bells' 31st December 2020


A YEAR TO FORGET!--BUT ONE WE SURELY NEVER WILL!

The year 2020 haz been the year that non of us will ever forget, even if yoo are just 5 or 6 years old! 

Its torned oot to be a horrendous year for the entire population of the planet Orth!---Mask wearin' from Australia to Argentina and the UK to the USA---the entire world in lockdoon because of 'The bat out of hell' virus!

Of course if yoo are an NUFC fan, it iz even worse---with the promise of the mega rich Saudis takin ower wor great club and gettin rid of 'The Fat Controller' for good---to be dashed by Masters and Co at The Premyaa Leegue, to send us into abject dispair!

Bein' barred from the groonds and forced to watch games in pubs and wor livin rooms and view the dire futbaall that we normally play on the BIG and smaall screens! (and even listen on radios!)

Whoever would have believed that somebody eatin' a bat in China would stop us gannin' to games and pubs etc! (Its 306 days since we last watched The Toon at SJP!)

Honestly, (I'm sure you'll aall agree) its been terrible and I for one cannit wait for the 31st December at 'midneet bells' to say good riddance to the year 2020 and welcome in the new year of 2021! (Anly 11 hours to gan az I write this!)

Surely 2021 cannit be any worse----surely not?

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Wednesday, 30 December 2020

THE TOON V THE LIVERBIRDS *** LIVE UPDATES!

 Posted from '7:00pm bells' onwards, Wedinzday 30th December 2020

 
   View of floodlights tooneet from Geordie Times HQ!



*

Updates of incidents and goals az they happen!

Half way through 1st half

Much better performance az we  attack The Leazes End  33% possession    0 shots on target!



*39th minute  1st shot on target for NUFC  Murphy


HT 0-0  1 shot on target  27% possession (we predicted 2 shots in 90 mins and 25% possession!)




*73rd minute     0 shots on target for us this half so far   possession 27%   still 0-0

79th minute  Clark heeder on target  1st of 2nd half

88th minute, fantastic save from Darlow in Toon goal!

FT 0-0 ! Great point that we didnt expect!

The result propels us up one place in the table to 14th and 8 points clear of the drop zone!

Man of the match---its GOT to be Karl Darlow in The Toon goal who made several excellent stops to deny the 'Mickey Mousers'



The Geordie Times predicted 2 shots on target from NUFC and there woz==and we predicted 75% possession to Liverpoool and 25% to NUFC---we wornt far oot az it woz 73% to 27%

If anly we could play like this every week instead of puttin 10 men behind the baall to bore us to death! wot a difference Callum Wilson and Matty Longstaff made az well!

Same again pleeeze against The Basil Brush Brigade of Lestaa next Sunday!?

THE TOON V THE LIVERBIRDS *** TOONEET!

 Posted 'bells' Wedinzday 30th December 2020

"WE ARE WHERE WE ARE!"---"IT IS WHAT IT IS!" (Steve Bruce)?

After failing to 'park the bus' successfully at Man City on Boxin' Day in the completely one sided 2-0 defeat, wor manager, 'Broken Nose Bruce' has a new ingenious tactic  to stop Klopp's men in their tracks!
He said: "It's an insult to me to say that I will 'park the bus' against Liverpool tooneet!"  "I have a cunning plan and it will hopefully work!--If not I will take no responsibility at all, should we fail miserably to stop them scoring and I will of course blame the fans, who won't be there!"


*The game kicks off at '8:00 bells'🕗 on Amazon Prime and 'pirate channels' ☠ (as if we would!) and 'The Geordie Times' prediction iz we will play with one up front (Wilson, hopefully) and 10 men behind the baall!
 Liverpoool will have 75% possession to wor 25% and that we will have 2 shots on target in the entire game! 
In a matter of a few days we have slipped from 12th to 15th place in the Leegue table! ("Nearly there, Steve!") (Hiz remit of 17th place!)

Footnote: We reeely DO want 'Mr Depression' (Bruce) to be successful and prove us aall wrang and get 3 points against The Liverbirds!----IF we do 'The Geordie Times' will eat 'humble pie' and buy Bruce a massive 'Desperate Dan' Cow Pie' az a belated Xmas present!


Wishful 'fink'in?---well we will soon find oot, come '8:00 bells' this evenin'!

Match report to follow with live updates on goals etc!😳

Update '4:30 pm bells'
TYNESIDE IN TIER 4
LIVERPOOOL IN TIER 3

This wont make much difference to us az we cannot gan to tooneets game for example, or visit pubs anyway!
Liverpoool and Evertin on the other hand cant now let fans into their groonds eethaa and aall pubs must close!
We have aalways thought that it is grossly unfair that the scousers can let fans attend games, but the rest of us cannit! (An unfair and lopsided playin field for certain!)
Az it turns oot NEE leegue teams anywhere in the country can let any fans in, az from 'midneet bells' tooneet!


Tuesday, 29 December 2020

THE STING IZ IN THE 'TALE'!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuusday 29th December 2020


Az those of yoo who read 'The Geordie Times' on a regular basis will know, I am a truck driver! 

The one thing I have learned ower the years iz that yoo don't under any circumstances, upset the fork truck drivers who tip and load your wagon!

To do so will meen that the next time yoo gan to that particular place again the fork truck driver in question 'will do a disappearing act' and yoo will be left cursing that yoo can't get tipped or loaded quickly!

The same thing can be said for wor manager 'Broken Nose Bruce' who has 'stirred up a hornets nest' and accused Toon fans of *'histrionics' and  'mass  hysteria' ⬅️(the same things he accused sund'lind and Villa fans of!) ower the shocking performances that we have had to witness on wor TV screens and laptops in the last few weeks!

(*Histrionics meaning = dramatic or theatrical)

Just like the fork truck drivers, if yoo upset and argue with your own fans, then there iz 'nee way back' and ultimately there iz anly one loser!---'Broken Nose Bruce' in this case! (ie: He haz crossed the line!)

He is very lucky indeed that nee fans can attend games and tell him exactly wot we 'fink' of hiz 'park the bus' tactics!

NUFC fans are the lifeblood of the club and to accuse us of 'mass hysteria' etc, iz ridiculous and insultin' and the sooner old 'Broken Nose' departs 'NE 1' the better!😬

This iz wot happens when yoo disturb a hornets nest, Steve!

PS: Bruce's latest rants:
"We are where we are!" (?)
"We need to shut a few people up!" (The fans who he can't hear, coz we can't gan!--we presume!)


 

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