Updated on Friday '10:00am bells!
*I nearly crashed mee truck az I passed Wetherby at '3:30 bells' yesterday afternooon when I hord the news on the radio!
We must aall back Amanda Staveley to see if the deal can be resurrected!
"LET'S BACK AMANDA!"💖
This website iz dedecated to the Newcastle United groundhoppers who follow the fortunes of the team aroond the world (and beyond!) The ground totals include competitive and friendly forst team, resorve team, junior team and Newcastle United X1 games that 'the mad-sad groundhopper' has attended, aall for Newcastle United games only, in the last SEVEN decades*** cheers!***'Fink' (the mad-sad groundhopper!)***last count 379 (380 inc Motspur Park outside)
Friday, 31 July 2020
"IT COULD ANLY HAPPEN TO 'US'!"
Posted '7:45pm bells' Groundhog day 2020!
Updated on Friday '10:00am bells!
*I nearly crashed mee truck az I passed Wetherby at '3:30 bells' yesterday afternooon when I hord the news on the radio!
We must aall back Amanda Staveley to see if the deal can be resurrected!
"LET'S BACK AMANDA!"💖
Updated on Friday '10:00am bells!
*I nearly crashed mee truck az I passed Wetherby at '3:30 bells' yesterday afternooon when I hord the news on the radio!
We must aall back Amanda Staveley to see if the deal can be resurrected!
"LET'S BACK AMANDA!"💖
Wednesday, 29 July 2020
"COME ON YOO SWANZ!"
Posted '7:56am bells' Wedinzday 29th July 2020
Updated '9:47pm bells'
The 2nd leg of the Championship play off semi final takes place tooneet between Brentfaad and Swanzee at Griffin Park!
And 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' will be rooting for The Swanz who have a 1-0 lead from the 1st leg!
The reason we want Swanzee to win is simple!
We've been to The Liberty Stadium before, but Brentfaad are playin their last ever game at their present groond and are moving a mile doon the road to a new stadium next season!
This meenz that if THEY win promotion, NUFC will be playin at their new home next season and yoo can bet your bottom dollar that we will get them away orly in the season!
Az fans will still not be able to attend games til at least October, this would meen that we would be denied a new groond, to tick off wor list!
Personally, I have to gan back 41 years for the last time I missed a competitive NUFC 1st team game on a NEW GROOND and for this reason alone, I divvint want them to be promoted!
"COME ON YOO SWANZ!"
Updated '9:47pm bells'
Devastatin' news for 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' 😭
az Brentfaad won 3-1, to gan through to the final on Sunday, where they will play eethaa Fulim or Cardiff, for a place in the Premyaa Leegue!
Updated '9:47pm bells'
 |
| SWANZEE'Z MASCOT 'CEDRIC THE SWAN!' |
The 2nd leg of the Championship play off semi final takes place tooneet between Brentfaad and Swanzee at Griffin Park!
And 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' will be rooting for The Swanz who have a 1-0 lead from the 1st leg!
The reason we want Swanzee to win is simple!
We've been to The Liberty Stadium before, but Brentfaad are playin their last ever game at their present groond and are moving a mile doon the road to a new stadium next season!
This meenz that if THEY win promotion, NUFC will be playin at their new home next season and yoo can bet your bottom dollar that we will get them away orly in the season!
Az fans will still not be able to attend games til at least October, this would meen that we would be denied a new groond, to tick off wor list!
Personally, I have to gan back 41 years for the last time I missed a competitive NUFC 1st team game on a NEW GROOND and for this reason alone, I divvint want them to be promoted!
"COME ON YOO SWANZ!"
Updated '9:47pm bells'
Devastatin' news for 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' 😭
az Brentfaad won 3-1, to gan through to the final on Sunday, where they will play eethaa Fulim or Cardiff, for a place in the Premyaa Leegue!
Monday, 27 July 2020
NUFC *** FROM POLE VAULTERS!---TO LIMBO DANCERS!
Posted '9:00pm bells' Munday 27th July 2020
 |
| UNDER THE JOHN HALL/FREDDIE SHEPHERD OWNERSHIP! TOP 5 FINISHIN' POSITIONS 2nd (1995-96) 2nd(1996-97) 3rd (1993-94) 3rd(2002-03) 4th (2001-02) NOT FORGETTIN' 3 APPEARANCES IN THE CHAMPIONS LEEGUE IN 1997-98, 2002-03 and 2003-04! |
 |
| UNDER 'THE FAT CONTROLLER'S OWNERSHIP! TOP 5 FINISHIN' POSITIONS 5th (2011-12) 10th (2013-14) 10th (2017-18) 12th (2007-08) 12th (2010-11) NOT FORGETTIN' 2 RELEGATIONS IN 2008-09 and 2015-16! |
*Unless the takeower actually happens, we will be 'limbo dancin' once again next season, for sure!
* PS: The bar can't get much lower---can it!?
Sunday, 26 July 2020
THE TOON 1 THE LIVERBIRDS 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020
Posted '9:15pm bells' Sunday 26th July 2020
"OH SO PREDICTABLE!"
NUFC ended the season with a whimper, despite scoring inside 25 seconds, which of course, the telly cameras missed! (Anothaa reason to be at the game and NOT watchin on from a pub, a club, or in your livin room!)
Jonjo Shelvey had taken a very quick free kick which caught the Liverbirds defence, napping, the baall foond Dwight Gayle who buried it into the net at The Leazes End!
The cameras had focused on an injury to Saint-Maximin and missed the goal completely, with them showing the baall hittin the back of the net, but NOT Gayle's strike! (Very poor show by camera operator!)
However, Liverpoool were back on level terms 8 minutes before the break, through Van Dijk, who sent a looping heeder ower Dubravka, in the Toon goal!
(Predicably the camera DIDN'T miss this one!)
The Liverbirds stepped up the pace in the 2nd half az we brought on Joelinton with a brand new maroon hairdye to put the fear of god into wor visitors defence!(NOT!)
But 'it mattered not' az the 'Mickey Mousers' took the lead, when Origi hit a shot across the box on the hour mark to beat Dubraka---and near the end it woz 3-1 to the new champions when Mane aalso hit an identical shot across the box, to wrap the game up!
The result meenz that wor manager 'Broken Nose Bruce' haz taken just ONE point in the last five games and that wor record £40 million signin' Joelinton, will gan doon az wor worst number 9 ever, with just ONE solitary home goal in The Premyaa Leegue this season! (and just ONE away!)
Indeed!---Everton's Calvert-Lewin (2) and Tottenham's Harry Kane (2), have scored more Premyaa Leegue goals at St. James' Park, than Joelinton, who haz played in every one of wor 19 home games this season! (17 from the startin line ups and the last 2 from the subs bench!)
(Yih couldn't make it up!)
Toon team:
*Official Attendance in Rosie's Bar doonstairs: 31 including 2 barstaff, 2 bouncers and the manageress!
(Upstairs Attendance not known, az aa cannit see through bar ceilings!)
*
*
 |
"THEY'VE MISSED THE GOAL!"
'PIST ONE PETE' ANGRILY POINTS AT THE TELLY IN ROSIE'S BAR
AZ THE CAMERAMAN MISSES WOR OPENIN' GOAL!
|
"OH SO PREDICTABLE!"
NUFC ended the season with a whimper, despite scoring inside 25 seconds, which of course, the telly cameras missed! (Anothaa reason to be at the game and NOT watchin on from a pub, a club, or in your livin room!)
 |
| VIEW OF THE GALLOWGATE END THROUGH THE CHINESE ARCH! (JUST!) |
Jonjo Shelvey had taken a very quick free kick which caught the Liverbirds defence, napping, the baall foond Dwight Gayle who buried it into the net at The Leazes End!
The cameras had focused on an injury to Saint-Maximin and missed the goal completely, with them showing the baall hittin the back of the net, but NOT Gayle's strike! (Very poor show by camera operator!)
However, Liverpoool were back on level terms 8 minutes before the break, through Van Dijk, who sent a looping heeder ower Dubravka, in the Toon goal!
(Predicably the camera DIDN'T miss this one!)
The Liverbirds stepped up the pace in the 2nd half az we brought on Joelinton with a brand new maroon hairdye to put the fear of god into wor visitors defence!(NOT!)
But 'it mattered not' az the 'Mickey Mousers' took the lead, when Origi hit a shot across the box on the hour mark to beat Dubraka---and near the end it woz 3-1 to the new champions when Mane aalso hit an identical shot across the box, to wrap the game up!
The result meenz that wor manager 'Broken Nose Bruce' haz taken just ONE point in the last five games and that wor record £40 million signin' Joelinton, will gan doon az wor worst number 9 ever, with just ONE solitary home goal in The Premyaa Leegue this season! (and just ONE away!)
Indeed!---Everton's Calvert-Lewin (2) and Tottenham's Harry Kane (2), have scored more Premyaa Leegue goals at St. James' Park, than Joelinton, who haz played in every one of wor 19 home games this season! (17 from the startin line ups and the last 2 from the subs bench!)
(Yih couldn't make it up!)
Toon team:
*Official Attendance in Rosie's Bar doonstairs: 31 including 2 barstaff, 2 bouncers and the manageress!
(Upstairs Attendance not known, az aa cannit see through bar ceilings!)
 |
| CARTOON 'NICKED' FROM 'TRUE FAITH' FANZINE---"CHEERS!" |
*
*
THE TOON v THE LIVERBIRDS *** THIS AFTERNOOON!
Posted '10:01am bells' Sunday 26th July 2020
NUFC play wor final game of the season against the champions of Ingerland, Europe and the world in a few hours time! ('4:00 bells')
Neebody aa naa iz confident aboot us gettin anything from 'The Liverbirds', but this IZ NUFC and anything can happen!
The Toon will wear wor new kit tomorrow, which iz a throwback to thinner black n white stripes, which look much better than the fat stripes we have been playin in!
We are heedin for 'Rosie's Bar once again, which iz near St. James' Park on the corner of Chinaatoon, to watch the game, barely 200 yards away!
A full Geordie Times match report will appear here in due course---of course!----Az per usual 'watch this space' for the TENTH NUFC mad-sad Tellyhoppers' report 'in a row'!
PS: The new season starts in just under 7 weeks time!
48 days actually, on Saturday 12th September!
And will end on Sunday 23rd May 2021!
Fans are set to be let in from October, with a limited number of fans in attendance!
17,000 at The Toon we understand!
But who do they let in with ower 30,000 season ticket holders last season!??? (NOT includin the 10,000 they gave away, to fill the groond!)
Footnote: 'Broken Nose Bruce' iz convinced that he will still be the NUFC manager next season as he 'gently' applies the pressure on wor current owner 'The Fat Controller' to release funds to make us into a top 10 side! (FAT chance!)
And look just how far wor expectation have fallen under hiz (lack of) leadership!
Bobby Robson woz SACKED when we were 5th in the table, as it woz deemed, "Not good enough!", at the time!
 |
| NUFC'S NEW KIT FOR NEXT SEASON! |
NUFC play wor final game of the season against the champions of Ingerland, Europe and the world in a few hours time! ('4:00 bells')
Neebody aa naa iz confident aboot us gettin anything from 'The Liverbirds', but this IZ NUFC and anything can happen!
The Toon will wear wor new kit tomorrow, which iz a throwback to thinner black n white stripes, which look much better than the fat stripes we have been playin in!
We are heedin for 'Rosie's Bar once again, which iz near St. James' Park on the corner of Chinaatoon, to watch the game, barely 200 yards away!
A full Geordie Times match report will appear here in due course---of course!----Az per usual 'watch this space' for the TENTH NUFC mad-sad Tellyhoppers' report 'in a row'!
PS: The new season starts in just under 7 weeks time!
48 days actually, on Saturday 12th September!
And will end on Sunday 23rd May 2021!
Fans are set to be let in from October, with a limited number of fans in attendance!
17,000 at The Toon we understand!
But who do they let in with ower 30,000 season ticket holders last season!??? (NOT includin the 10,000 they gave away, to fill the groond!)
Footnote: 'Broken Nose Bruce' iz convinced that he will still be the NUFC manager next season as he 'gently' applies the pressure on wor current owner 'The Fat Controller' to release funds to make us into a top 10 side! (FAT chance!)
And look just how far wor expectation have fallen under hiz (lack of) leadership!
Bobby Robson woz SACKED when we were 5th in the table, as it woz deemed, "Not good enough!", at the time!
Saturday, 25 July 2020
MP SPEAKS AT LAST ABOOT TAKEOWER!
Posted '12:30pm bells Saturday 25th July 2020
MP for Gatesheed and an avid Toon fan Ian Mearns, who we know, has spoken at last aboot the NUFC takeower after FOWER MONTHS SILENCE!
The letter below woz written to Richard Masters, the cheef executive of The Premyaa Leegue a few days ago!
The letter woz aalso sent to Toon Central MP Chi Onwurah
*It seems to us that 'Mearnsy' is 'sitting on the fence', fearful of repercussions, whatever he says! (Just like Richard Masters!)
MP for Gatesheed and an avid Toon fan Ian Mearns, who we know, has spoken at last aboot the NUFC takeower after FOWER MONTHS SILENCE!
The letter below woz written to Richard Masters, the cheef executive of The Premyaa Leegue a few days ago!
The letter woz aalso sent to Toon Central MP Chi Onwurah
*It seems to us that 'Mearnsy' is 'sitting on the fence', fearful of repercussions, whatever he says! (Just like Richard Masters!)
Friday, 24 July 2020
GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE! *** BRUCE HAZ SOMETHING IN THE PIPELINE!
Posted just after 'high noon bells' Friday 24th July 2020
Sensational news reaches us aboot wot the future holds for NUFC!
Wor manager, 'Broken Nose Bruce' haz said "The longer you are in The Premier League, the bigger and better you become!"
(Last season 13th place---this season 13th OR 14th place!?)
With nee news whatsoever aboot the takeower, 'Broken Nose Bruce' haz aalso said that "We must plan for the future and move on!" and that he haz "Something in the pipeline!" as regards to future purchases!
Sensational news reaches us aboot wot the future holds for NUFC!
Wor manager, 'Broken Nose Bruce' haz said "The longer you are in The Premier League, the bigger and better you become!"
(Last season 13th place---this season 13th OR 14th place!?)
With nee news whatsoever aboot the takeower, 'Broken Nose Bruce' haz aalso said that "We must plan for the future and move on!" and that he haz "Something in the pipeline!" as regards to future purchases!
HE WASN'T LYIN' EETHAA!
Thursday, 23 July 2020
JOYOUS NEWS FOR THE NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS!
Posted '7:37am bells' Thorsday 23rd July 2020
Aa woz watchin SKY Sports news last neet on the last day of The Championship, az the results came in--and the great news for NUFC fans iz that Brentford failed to win automatic promotion!
Why am I SO happy with this news?
Well! Brentford are moving to a new groond next season!
Normally aa would be praying that they would win automatic promotion and we would be playin them at their new abode, to tick off a new groond!
BUT! of course, these are NOT normal times and we could well have faced them away early next season BEHIND CLOSED DOORS and therefore miss oot on a new groond--for the forst time in 41 years (The last time aa missed a competitive game on a 'new groond', in the UK or Europe!)
Of course Brentford ARE in the play offs, where they will play Swanzee in the semi finals and could well come up to 'The Premyaa' by winning the final at Wembley!
Therefore! 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' will be rooting for Swanzee, as of course we have been to their groond before and could just aboot bear 'the pain' of missin that game! (The pain of missin a game on a new groond would be unbearable!)
 |
| CEDRIC THE SWAN (SWANZEE'Z MASCOT!) |
Aa woz watchin SKY Sports news last neet on the last day of The Championship, az the results came in--and the great news for NUFC fans iz that Brentford failed to win automatic promotion!
Why am I SO happy with this news?
Well! Brentford are moving to a new groond next season!
Normally aa would be praying that they would win automatic promotion and we would be playin them at their new abode, to tick off a new groond!
BUT! of course, these are NOT normal times and we could well have faced them away early next season BEHIND CLOSED DOORS and therefore miss oot on a new groond--for the forst time in 41 years (The last time aa missed a competitive game on a 'new groond', in the UK or Europe!)
Of course Brentford ARE in the play offs, where they will play Swanzee in the semi finals and could well come up to 'The Premyaa' by winning the final at Wembley!
Therefore! 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' will be rooting for Swanzee, as of course we have been to their groond before and could just aboot bear 'the pain' of missin that game! (The pain of missin a game on a new groond would be unbearable!)
"Come on yoo Swanz"!
Tuesday, 21 July 2020
TOON IN LIMBO DANCER MODE!
Posted '9:53pm bells' Tuesday 21st July 2020
With wor last game against The Liverbirds next Sunday and with the transfor window due to open a few days later, NUFC are STILL nee nearer forward with the takeower and are in complete limbo az to wot will eventually happen!?
It's shear incompetence to keep us in the dark and surely The Premyaa Leegues supremo haz made hiz minds up now after 4 lang months of torture!---SURELY!?
Neebody reeely naaz wot will happen, but if the takeower DOESNT happen, then we will gan on a doonward spiral for certain!-----More season ticket holders will jump ship, az well az the 10,000 who have aalready done so and 'social distancing' will not be a problem!, shud 'The Fat Controller' still be at the helm!
"Richard Masters, are yoo listening"???
Wor manager 'Broken Nose Bruce' 'finks' we are deein OK and woz 'delighted' with wor performance in the 0-0 draw with Brightin last neet?
(Divvint naa of anybody else who 'finks' the same---ONE shot on target aall game and absolutleee nee entertainment on view for the NUFC Tellyhoppers, watchin from afar!)
And then he added that it woz important to him to keep above Brightin in the table?----13th OK then?---BRIGHTIN??? wow!-- How low is THAT 'bar' and how far have wor expectations fallen in the last 13 years of 'The Fat Controller's 'reign'?
He aalso says that he would have taken the 44 points we have mustered at the start of the season! (ie: Avoid relegation at aall cost---attractive futbaall and trophies 'matter NOT'!)
Like we say, should the takeower fail, then we are in for yet anothaa winter of discontent for certain!
"SO FOR GODS SAKE MASTERS, PASS IT!"
 |
| "HOW MUCH LOWER CAN THE BAR GET?! |
With wor last game against The Liverbirds next Sunday and with the transfor window due to open a few days later, NUFC are STILL nee nearer forward with the takeower and are in complete limbo az to wot will eventually happen!?
It's shear incompetence to keep us in the dark and surely The Premyaa Leegues supremo haz made hiz minds up now after 4 lang months of torture!---SURELY!?
Neebody reeely naaz wot will happen, but if the takeower DOESNT happen, then we will gan on a doonward spiral for certain!-----More season ticket holders will jump ship, az well az the 10,000 who have aalready done so and 'social distancing' will not be a problem!, shud 'The Fat Controller' still be at the helm!
"Richard Masters, are yoo listening"???
Wor manager 'Broken Nose Bruce' 'finks' we are deein OK and woz 'delighted' with wor performance in the 0-0 draw with Brightin last neet?
(Divvint naa of anybody else who 'finks' the same---ONE shot on target aall game and absolutleee nee entertainment on view for the NUFC Tellyhoppers, watchin from afar!)
And then he added that it woz important to him to keep above Brightin in the table?----13th OK then?---BRIGHTIN??? wow!-- How low is THAT 'bar' and how far have wor expectations fallen in the last 13 years of 'The Fat Controller's 'reign'?
He aalso says that he would have taken the 44 points we have mustered at the start of the season! (ie: Avoid relegation at aall cost---attractive futbaall and trophies 'matter NOT'!)
Like we say, should the takeower fail, then we are in for yet anothaa winter of discontent for certain!
"SO FOR GODS SAKE MASTERS, PASS IT!"
Monday, 20 July 2020
NEE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTIN 0 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020
Posted '8:55pm bells' Munday 20th July 2020
The first half woz yet anothaa reason to hope (and pray!) that the takeower finally happens, as it woz enough to send yoo into a deep, deep sleep! "ZZZzzz!!!"
NEE shots on target and just one chance which Dwight Gayle heeded ower the bar into the away end!---Where WE shudiv been and not watchin on the telly 360 miles north of The Amex Stadium!
Brightin wornt much better and the game had nil-nil written aall ower it!
Brightin just needing one point to stay up and NUFC seemingly content to run oot a scoreless draw, with nowt to play for, except to try and finish in 12th place! (13th at the kick off!)
Almiron then had wor forst effort on target, which woz deflected roond the post by the Brightin keeper in the 50th minute!
And then the 'highlight' of the 2nd half!---A drinks break at Brightin!---and in wor hoose!, with Brewdog, mee faithful companion!
Meanwhile in Maynooth, Ireland, a 'NUFC Mad-Sad Tellyhopper' caalled 'John from Ireland' (wot else?) haz a drinks break of anothaa kind!
The game predictably petered oot with subs Andy Carroll and Joelinton comin on for Gayle and Saint-Maximin!
A late heeder from Carroll just whizzed past the post, his 32nd Premyaa Leegue game in a row without scoring (accordin to the commentator!)
Az aa predicted, the game ended goalless, which meenz that the highest we can finish is 13th----wor average top flight position since 'The Fat Controller' bought us in 2007!
Anothaa reason for the takeower to gan through!
"PLEEEZE, GOD!"🙏
Toon team: Dubravka, Manquillo, Fernandez, Krafth, Rose, Bentaleb, Shelvey, Richie, Almiron (Lazaro 86), Gayle (Carroll 74), Saint-Maximin (Joelinton 74)
Official attendance in wor hoose: 'Me' and Brewdog and a bottle of 'DOG'! (Newcasil Broon Ale)
PS: We say 'Nee Where Near Brightin' az their groond iz in the middle of 'nee where'---miles from Brightin!)
 |
A RARE TOON ATTACK AZ 'BREWDOG' WATCHES ON
(WE PLAYED IN WOR ORANGE CHANGE KIT)
|
The first half woz yet anothaa reason to hope (and pray!) that the takeower finally happens, as it woz enough to send yoo into a deep, deep sleep! "ZZZzzz!!!"
NEE shots on target and just one chance which Dwight Gayle heeded ower the bar into the away end!---Where WE shudiv been and not watchin on the telly 360 miles north of The Amex Stadium!
Brightin wornt much better and the game had nil-nil written aall ower it!
Brightin just needing one point to stay up and NUFC seemingly content to run oot a scoreless draw, with nowt to play for, except to try and finish in 12th place! (13th at the kick off!)
Almiron then had wor forst effort on target, which woz deflected roond the post by the Brightin keeper in the 50th minute!
And then the 'highlight' of the 2nd half!---A drinks break at Brightin!---and in wor hoose!, with Brewdog, mee faithful companion!
 |
| "A WELL ORND DRINKS BREAK!---IN WOR HOOSE, THAT IZ!" |
Meanwhile in Maynooth, Ireland, a 'NUFC Mad-Sad Tellyhopper' caalled 'John from Ireland' (wot else?) haz a drinks break of anothaa kind!
 |
| "WE MUST BE 'POTTY' WATCHIN' THIS!" |
The game predictably petered oot with subs Andy Carroll and Joelinton comin on for Gayle and Saint-Maximin!
A late heeder from Carroll just whizzed past the post, his 32nd Premyaa Leegue game in a row without scoring (accordin to the commentator!)
Az aa predicted, the game ended goalless, which meenz that the highest we can finish is 13th----wor average top flight position since 'The Fat Controller' bought us in 2007!
Anothaa reason for the takeower to gan through!
"PLEEEZE, GOD!"🙏
Toon team: Dubravka, Manquillo, Fernandez, Krafth, Rose, Bentaleb, Shelvey, Richie, Almiron (Lazaro 86), Gayle (Carroll 74), Saint-Maximin (Joelinton 74)
Official attendance in wor hoose: 'Me' and Brewdog and a bottle of 'DOG'! (Newcasil Broon Ale)
PS: We say 'Nee Where Near Brightin' az their groond iz in the middle of 'nee where'---miles from Brightin!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)