WEDINZDAY 23rd MAY 2007----A BLACK DAY IN NUFCs HISTORY!

Posted '12:29pm bells' Saturday 23rd May 2020

THE FAT CONTROLLER PROMISED US GLORY

BUT ANLY BROUGHT US DISPEAR!

"A MAN WHO PROMISED SO MUCH, BUT DELIVERED 
SO LITTLE!"

On this day in 2007 a billionaire bought NUFC and PROMISED to torn us into the best team in the Premyaa Leegue! (see 'The Jawnil' headline above, from May 2007!)
At forst we believed him and welcomed him with open arms!---Indeed, he even dressed himself in black n white garb and went to  away games with the fans in the visitors sections, rather than in the home clubs directors boxes!
I remember that at one game away to Aston Villa, somebody said to me that he woz just behind us az we passed through the tornstiles!

I waited til the fat man walked into the concourse and I shook hiz hand and welcomed him to NUFC!

This iz my biggest regret az a Toon fan, az it soon became clear that he WASN'T gannin to bankroll us after aall!---Instead he had a 'skinflint scrooge attitude' which soon had us in trouble at the wrang end of the Premyaaship!  
'COCKNEY MAFIA BANNERS' appeared and chants of: "YOU FAT COCKNEY B*STARD!---GET OUT OF OUR CLUB!" became the main chant from disgruntled fans! (even though he woz born in Waalsaall, in the West Midlands!)

HE HAD A NEW NAME BY THIS TIME! (2009)

'THE FAT CONTROLLER' AZ HE WOZ THE SPITTIN' IMAGE OF 'THE FAT CONTROLLER' IN THE 'THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE' CHILDRENS TELLY PROGRAMME!
ie: HE WOZ 'FAT' AND IN 'CONTROL'

OF THE RUDDERLESS SHIP!

And then relegation followed just 2 years into hiz 'reign' with promises that he would sell the club at the forst opportunity!
He didn't (or couldn't?) and we had to put up with him az we had nee choice!  Idiotic decisions followed, like the appointment of Joke Kinnear az manager!----Anothaa relegation happened after we had bounced back, meanin that he hadn't lorned by hiz misstayks!

He woz like an unwanted 'muthaa in law' who lived with you and who yoo just couldn't get rid of---and by this time he didn't even gan to home games, nevaa mind away!
Today iz the 13th anniversary of hiz takeower and it haz indeed been unlucky for US!---But have we finally!---finally! edged him towards the The Milburn Stand exit doors and onto Barrack Road and got rid of him FOREVER!? 🙏

"THE FOLLY OF THE WALLY WITH THE BROLLY!"

Posted '10:25pm bells' Friday 22nd May 2020

'The Wally with the Brolly' says 'Broken Nose Bruce' 'haz vision' and iz in 'the drivin' seat' to keep his job when/if the new owners finally get the green light to buy wor great club!

*Folly definition: Lack of good sense; foolishness!

"HOW MUCH LANGER MUST WE WAIT---FOR SUCCESS AT GALLOW-GATE?"

Posted 2:36pm bells' Friday 22nd May 2020

NUFC BREAKING NEWS!

Posted '5:50pm bells' Thorsday 21st May 2020

Toon airport today!

Saudi flag circled!

A Saudi jet has been spotted at Toon airport this evenin'!

Library pic

Read into that wot yoo will!
We make no predictions to wot this meeenz, BUT!🙏🤪

Wot Twitter says!🙏🐪🚦

And finally from the 

finance experts 

FORBES!🐪🚦🙏

GEORDIETIMELINE!

Posted '8:20pm bells' Wedinzday 20th May 2020

March 20th 2020---TheLeazes End Club behind SJP

The last pint saloon!

It's now 2 months to the day since 'Boris' shut the boozers!😭

HARD AT WORK!

Posted '3:15pm bells' Wedinzday 20th May 2020

"PASS THE SUN-TAN LOTION PLEEZE!"

After 2 months twiddlin' their fingers and suckin their thumbs the NUFC players are hard at work on the trainin' groond az we speak!

THERE'S A JOKER IN THE PACK!

Posted '2:00am bells' Wedinzday 20th May 2020

"BRUCE'S CRAZY EXCUSES!"


The Toon players returned to trainin yesterday after a two month absence, because of 'the bat out of hell' virus!

And before they'd even started trainin' old 'Broken Nose Bruce' woz comin' oot with probably his most ridiculous excuse to date, when he said that due to the lack of trainin', "The players would faall doon like a pack of cards!", due to their unexpected break!

Howay maan Steev!, these are athletes of the highest order, who have home gyms and very large gardens to exersise and keep fit in, durin their enforced lay off!

And aall the other 19 Premyaa Leegue teams are in 'the same boat' as well, divvint forget!

Reeely!--- we shudint even be even 'fink'-in aboot restarting the Leegue, when there are still hundreds of unfortunate souls dyin' every day!

Stay fit in your gyms lads and aanly retorn when it iz safe to do so!----ie when it's safe for fans to gan back az well--and not before!

Playin in empty stadiums with 'canned' crowd noise, cardboard cut oot fans and blow up sex dolls in the stands, is NOT the answer!

Stay safe lads and resume playin' the remainin' games then!---and not before!

"WHO NEEDS CARDBOARD CUT-OUTS?"

Posted '5:44pm bells' Munday 18th May 2020!

✅✅✅✅✅✅

❌❌❌❌❌❌

🤪😜😛🤪😜😛

"STAND UP!---IF YIH LUV THE TOON!"

"I'M GANNIN' SLIGHTLEEE MAD!!!!"

Posted '3:15pm bells' Munday 18th May 2020

'A' TO 'Z' 
Every futbaaller from the letter 'A' Alonso, to the letter 'Z' Zaha, has been mentioned with a move to The Toon, when we divvint even naa for certain if the takeower will happen!

How do the TV, press and Joe Bloggs on Twitter know, when we divvint naa wot the Premyaa Leegues 'fit and propaa persons test' will decide!?

   "We won't get involved!"

Culture secretary Oliver Dowden (above) has just been on the telly and has said that the decision rests entirely with the Premyaa Leegue!

We are now into the sixth week (or is it the seventh?) since we foond oot aboot the proposed takeower, so surly---surely!--a decision will be forthcomin' THIS WEEK!--
If it isnt decided in the next seven days, then I swear, I will gan a bit loopy and mad az a consequence!🤪

"BRING ON THE SCOUSERS!" (OR NOT AZ THE CASE MAY BE!)

Posted '3:00pm bells' Sunday 17th May 2020

VIEW FROM 'THE TOON AWAY END' OF ST. MARY'S STADIUM, SOOOTHAMPTON

SATURDAY 7th MARCH 2020---THE LAST TIME WE PLAYED!

At this exact moment in time, NUFC shud have been kickin' off against 'The Liverbirds' in the very last Premyaa Leegue match of the season at SJP in front of a sellout 52,300 crowd!

Instead of sittin' in mee usual seat in row 'B' seat '97' of The Milburn Stand balcony --a'm sittin' in mee usual seat on mee settee in wor hoose, deein this article on mee lap top, to pass the time away!

The Jawman Bundezleeega returned yesterday with the derby between Borussia Dortmund and Shalke 04 played behind closed doors, with 81,000 empty places! (and NO!--aa didn't watch it az aa havvint got BT---and mee local boozer which haz BT iz closed az well---for some reason?)

However! Jawmany's death rate from 'the bat out of hell's virus is much, much lower (40 yesterday) than here in the UK and we feel that it MUST be much lower than the 400 or so that are sadly dyin' every single day, for us to retorn to action! (By much lower aa meen ZERO deaths!)

We will find oot in the next week or so if games here will aalso be played BCD, while we twiddle wor thumbs and drink broon ale from the nearest off licence! (and hope and pray that the NUFC takeower FINALLY happens?)

Oh! Wot I would dee to watch a game of live futbaall, az it's now 71 days since we saw The Toon in action away at Sooothampton, where we won 1-0! (and aa don't meen a 'live' game on the telly in mee front livin' room!)

If it aint safe to watch it from a stand seat, then it aint safe for players to play on the pitch!
We shud wait until that day before resumin'----whenever that day may be!????

PS: It's just been on telly, daily death rate doon to 170 in the UK----still 170 too many, but a doonward trend at least!