'The Wally with the Brolly' says 'Broken Nose Bruce' 'haz vision' and iz in 'the drivin' seat' to keep his job when/if the new owners finally get the green light to buy wor great club!
*Folly definition: Lack of good sense; foolishness!
This website iz dedecated to the Newcastle United groundhoppers who follow the fortunes of the team aroond the world (and beyond!) The ground totals include competitive and friendly forst team, resorve team, junior team and Newcastle United X1 games that 'the mad-sad groundhopper' has attended, aall for Newcastle United games only, in the last SEVEN decades*** cheers!***'Fink' (the mad-sad groundhopper!)***last count 379 (380 inc Motspur Park outside)
Friday, 22 May 2020
"THE FOLLY OF THE WALLY WITH THE BROLLY!"
Posted '10:25pm bells' Friday 22nd May 2020
'The Wally with the Brolly' says 'Broken Nose Bruce' 'haz vision' and iz in 'the drivin' seat' to keep his job when/if the new owners finally get the green light to buy wor great club!
*Folly definition: Lack of good sense; foolishness!
'The Wally with the Brolly' says 'Broken Nose Bruce' 'haz vision' and iz in 'the drivin' seat' to keep his job when/if the new owners finally get the green light to buy wor great club!
*Folly definition: Lack of good sense; foolishness!
"HOW MUCH LANGER MUST WE WAIT---FOR SUCCESS AT GALLOW-GATE?"
Posted 2:36pm bells' Friday 22nd May 2020
Thursday, 21 May 2020
NUFC BREAKING NEWS!
Posted '5:50pm bells' Thorsday 21st May 2020
A Saudi jet has been spotted at Toon airport this evenin'!
Read into that wot yoo will!
We make no predictions to wot this meeenz, BUT!🙏🤪
Toon airport today!
Saudi flag circled!
A Saudi jet has been spotted at Toon airport this evenin'!
Library pic
Read into that wot yoo will!
We make no predictions to wot this meeenz, BUT!🙏🤪
Wot Twitter says!🙏🐪🚦
And finally from the
finance experts
FORBES!🐪🚦🙏
Wednesday, 20 May 2020
GEORDIETIMELINE!
Posted '8:20pm bells' Wedinzday 20th May 2020
It's now 2 months to the day since 'Boris' shut the boozers!😭
March 20th 2020---TheLeazes End Club behind SJP
The last pint saloon!
It's now 2 months to the day since 'Boris' shut the boozers!😭
HARD AT WORK!
Posted '3:15pm bells' Wedinzday 20th May 2020
"PASS THE SUN-TAN LOTION PLEEZE!"
After 2 months twiddlin' their fingers and suckin their thumbs the NUFC players are hard at work on the trainin' groond az we speak!
THERE'S A JOKER IN THE PACK!
Posted '2:00am bells' Wedinzday 20th May 2020
"BRUCE'S CRAZY EXCUSES!"
The Toon players returned to trainin yesterday after a two month absence, because of 'the bat out of hell' virus!
And before they'd even started trainin' old 'Broken Nose Bruce' woz comin' oot with probably his most ridiculous excuse to date, when he said that due to the lack of trainin', "The players would faall doon like a pack of cards!", due to their unexpected break!
Howay maan Steev!, these are athletes of the highest order, who have home gyms and very large gardens to exersise and keep fit in, durin their enforced lay off!
And aall the other 19 Premyaa Leegue teams are in 'the same boat' as well, divvint forget!
Reeely!--- we shudint even be even 'fink'-in aboot restarting the Leegue, when there are still hundreds of unfortunate souls dyin' every day!
Stay fit in your gyms lads and aanly retorn when it iz safe to do so!----ie when it's safe for fans to gan back az well--and not before!
Playin in empty stadiums with 'canned' crowd noise, cardboard cut oot fans and blow up sex dolls in the stands, is NOT the answer!
Stay safe lads and resume playin' the remainin' games then!---and not before!
"BRUCE'S CRAZY EXCUSES!"
The Toon players returned to trainin yesterday after a two month absence, because of 'the bat out of hell' virus!
And before they'd even started trainin' old 'Broken Nose Bruce' woz comin' oot with probably his most ridiculous excuse to date, when he said that due to the lack of trainin', "The players would faall doon like a pack of cards!", due to their unexpected break!
Howay maan Steev!, these are athletes of the highest order, who have home gyms and very large gardens to exersise and keep fit in, durin their enforced lay off!
And aall the other 19 Premyaa Leegue teams are in 'the same boat' as well, divvint forget!
Reeely!--- we shudint even be even 'fink'-in aboot restarting the Leegue, when there are still hundreds of unfortunate souls dyin' every day!
Stay fit in your gyms lads and aanly retorn when it iz safe to do so!----ie when it's safe for fans to gan back az well--and not before!
Playin in empty stadiums with 'canned' crowd noise, cardboard cut oot fans and blow up sex dolls in the stands, is NOT the answer!
Stay safe lads and resume playin' the remainin' games then!---and not before!
Monday, 18 May 2020
"WHO NEEDS CARDBOARD CUT-OUTS?"
Posted '5:44pm bells' Munday 18th May 2020!
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| ✅✅✅✅✅✅ |
❌❌❌❌❌❌
🤪😜😛🤪😜😛
"STAND UP!---IF YIH LUV THE TOON!"
"I'M GANNIN' SLIGHTLEEE MAD!!!!"
Posted '3:15pm bells' Munday 18th May 2020
'A' TO 'Z'
Every futbaaller from the letter 'A' Alonso, to the letter 'Z' Zaha, has been mentioned with a move to The Toon, when we divvint even naa for certain if the takeower will happen!
How do the TV, press and Joe Bloggs on Twitter know, when we divvint naa wot the Premyaa Leegues 'fit and propaa persons test' will decide!?
Culture secretary Oliver Dowden (above) has just been on the telly and has said that the decision rests entirely with the Premyaa Leegue!
We are now into the sixth week (or is it the seventh?) since we foond oot aboot the proposed takeower, so surly---surely!--a decision will be forthcomin' THIS WEEK!--
If it isnt decided in the next seven days, then I swear, I will gan a bit loopy and mad az a consequence!🤪
'A' TO 'Z'
Every futbaaller from the letter 'A' Alonso, to the letter 'Z' Zaha, has been mentioned with a move to The Toon, when we divvint even naa for certain if the takeower will happen!
How do the TV, press and Joe Bloggs on Twitter know, when we divvint naa wot the Premyaa Leegues 'fit and propaa persons test' will decide!?
"We won't get involved!"
Culture secretary Oliver Dowden (above) has just been on the telly and has said that the decision rests entirely with the Premyaa Leegue!
We are now into the sixth week (or is it the seventh?) since we foond oot aboot the proposed takeower, so surly---surely!--a decision will be forthcomin' THIS WEEK!--
If it isnt decided in the next seven days, then I swear, I will gan a bit loopy and mad az a consequence!🤪
Sunday, 17 May 2020
"BRING ON THE SCOUSERS!" (OR NOT AZ THE CASE MAY BE!)
Posted '3:00pm bells' Sunday 17th May 2020
At this exact moment in time, NUFC shud have been kickin' off against 'The Liverbirds' in the very last Premyaa Leegue match of the season at SJP in front of a sellout 52,300 crowd!
The Jawman Bundezleeega returned yesterday with the derby between Borussia Dortmund and Shalke 04 played behind closed doors, with 81,000 empty places! (and NO!--aa didn't watch it az aa havvint got BT---and mee local boozer which haz BT iz closed az well---for some reason?)
However! Jawmany's death rate from 'the bat out of hell's virus is much, much lower (40 yesterday) than here in the UK and we feel that it MUST be much lower than the 400 or so that are sadly dyin' every single day, for us to retorn to action! (By much lower aa meen ZERO deaths!)
We will find oot in the next week or so if games here will aalso be played BCD, while we twiddle wor thumbs and drink broon ale from the nearest off licence! (and hope and pray that the NUFC takeower FINALLY happens?)
Oh! Wot I would dee to watch a game of live futbaall, az it's now 71 days since we saw The Toon in action away at Sooothampton, where we won 1-0! (and aa don't meen a 'live' game on the telly in mee front livin' room!)
If it aint safe to watch it from a stand seat, then it aint safe for players to play on the pitch!
We shud wait until that day before resumin'----whenever that day may be!????
PS: It's just been on telly, daily death rate doon to 170 in the UK----still 170 too many, but a doonward trend at least!
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VIEW FROM 'THE TOON AWAY END' OF ST. MARY'S STADIUM, SOOOTHAMPTON
SATURDAY 7th MARCH 2020---THE LAST TIME WE PLAYED!
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Instead of sittin' in mee usual seat in row 'B' seat '97' of The Milburn Stand balcony --a'm sittin' in mee usual seat on mee settee in wor hoose, deein this article on mee lap top, to pass the time away!
The Jawman Bundezleeega returned yesterday with the derby between Borussia Dortmund and Shalke 04 played behind closed doors, with 81,000 empty places! (and NO!--aa didn't watch it az aa havvint got BT---and mee local boozer which haz BT iz closed az well---for some reason?)
However! Jawmany's death rate from 'the bat out of hell's virus is much, much lower (40 yesterday) than here in the UK and we feel that it MUST be much lower than the 400 or so that are sadly dyin' every single day, for us to retorn to action! (By much lower aa meen ZERO deaths!)
We will find oot in the next week or so if games here will aalso be played BCD, while we twiddle wor thumbs and drink broon ale from the nearest off licence! (and hope and pray that the NUFC takeower FINALLY happens?)
Oh! Wot I would dee to watch a game of live futbaall, az it's now 71 days since we saw The Toon in action away at Sooothampton, where we won 1-0! (and aa don't meen a 'live' game on the telly in mee front livin' room!)
If it aint safe to watch it from a stand seat, then it aint safe for players to play on the pitch!
We shud wait until that day before resumin'----whenever that day may be!????
PS: It's just been on telly, daily death rate doon to 170 in the UK----still 170 too many, but a doonward trend at least!
Saturday, 16 May 2020
"THEY ARE TAKIN' 'THE MICKEY'!"
Posted '10:43pm bells' Saturday 16th May 2020
The Saudis takeower of NUFC iz takin' much langer than anyone expected, mainly due to opposition from everybody in the whole world it seeemz, from Human Rights groups, Amnesty International, Piracy claims, Richard "weaze Keys" (mackem sympathiser!), several Premyaa Leegue clubs, Tory MPs, SCOTTISH MPs? and many, many others!
But NOT A WORD said against the Saudis buyin' stakes into the followin' high profile companys! (Deep breath!) Facebook ($522 million!), Boeing ($713.7 million!), Citigroup ($522 million!), Marriott ($514 million!), BP ($827 million!) and lastly, Disney ($495.8 million!) A staggerin' $3,594.5 MILLION DOLLARS in total---and there are many, many more aroond the planet Orth!
While NUFC have cost them a 'mere' £300 million quid or $372.45 million dollars!---The cheapest by far of aall their above ootlays!
Have yoo hord any of the above protesters complainin' aboot the Saudis buyin' into them??????--(DEATHLY SILENCE!!!)
Aa wonder wot Mickey Moose, Pluto and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 'fink' aboot aall this????
One rule for NUFC!---and anothaa rule for AALL THE REST!!!!!
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| "WELCOME TO DISNEYLAND PRINCE SALAM!" |
The Saudis takeower of NUFC iz takin' much langer than anyone expected, mainly due to opposition from everybody in the whole world it seeemz, from Human Rights groups, Amnesty International, Piracy claims, Richard "weaze Keys" (mackem sympathiser!), several Premyaa Leegue clubs, Tory MPs, SCOTTISH MPs? and many, many others!
But NOT A WORD said against the Saudis buyin' stakes into the followin' high profile companys! (Deep breath!) Facebook ($522 million!), Boeing ($713.7 million!), Citigroup ($522 million!), Marriott ($514 million!), BP ($827 million!) and lastly, Disney ($495.8 million!) A staggerin' $3,594.5 MILLION DOLLARS in total---and there are many, many more aroond the planet Orth!
While NUFC have cost them a 'mere' £300 million quid or $372.45 million dollars!---The cheapest by far of aall their above ootlays!
Have yoo hord any of the above protesters complainin' aboot the Saudis buyin' into them??????--(DEATHLY SILENCE!!!)
Aa wonder wot Mickey Moose, Pluto and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 'fink' aboot aall this????
One rule for NUFC!---and anothaa rule for AALL THE REST!!!!!
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"AND THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT PRINCE SALAM OF
SAUDI ARABIA HAZ INVESTED $495.8 MILLION DOLLARS IN US!"
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