"I'D WALK A MILLION MILES FOR ONE OF YOUR SMILES!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 19th November 2018

'The Geordie Times' iz very sad to hear aboot the passing of former club captain and left half, Jim Iley who died on Saturday aged 82

Jim played 249 times for NUFC between 1962 and 1969 and scored 16 goals and woz part of the successful promotion team of 1965, scorin the decisive goal to win promotion when we beat Bolton 2-0 on Good Friday 1965

I used to stand in the old The Leazes End in the 1960s and they had their own song for him, which went :
"I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, Jim I-ley!" 

RIP JIM

THE BIG MACC!---AND THE THREE mackems

Posted '10:56am bells' Sunday 18th November 2018

The draw for the last 32 of The Checkatrade Trophy haz been made and NUFC U21s reward for winnin their group iz a home tie against Macclesfield Toon, who currently sit rock bottom of Leegue 2!

We have NEVAA played Macclesfield at any level, so this iz a 'must gan' game for The Geordie Times!
The game iz to be played (we assume) @ SJP in the forst week of December (ne date yet)

In the last game of the group stage we beat Grimsby 3-2 at Blundell Park in front of just 547, which included 66 diehard Geordies and many were askin if this woz Grimsby's lowest crowd for a competitive game in their history!?

The mackems meanwhile took ower a thooosand to Morcambe for their Checkatrade game, and they have had a good laugh it wor 'pathetic' away support at Grimsby!

HOWEVER! they were watchin their FORST team, while NUFC fans were watchin wor RESORVE team----and last season, when the mackems could play their RESORVES at Grimsby in the same competition (because they were a Championship club) a 'crowd' of just 248 torned up which included---wait for it!--- THREE SMBs in the visitors end!!!!----that's reet, just THREE bothered to torn up when their forst team were heedin for Leegue 1
THIS iz Grimsby's lowest ever crowd!

SMB FANS TRAVEL IN FORCE TO GRIMSBY LAST SEASON 

IN THE CHECKATRADE TROPHY!

This meenz that more than 20 times az many Toon fans went to Grimsby to watch wor U21s, compared to their support!

The sund'lind echo paper then printed a story that more than double that number had actually followed the mackems to Grimsby last season and they claimed that in fact SEVEN had made the trip---"WOW!"

(Yi couldn't make it up!)

AALL IN VAIN!

Posted '2:15pm bells' Friday 16th November 2018

"I'M GOING NOWHERE!"

While NUFC face wor thord blank weekend of the season due to Internationals, we again must find wor 'fix' for the weekend and az per usual in my circumstances, we will be followin' Northern Leegue side 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston when they play a home game v Stockton on Saturday afternoon!

Meenwhile 150 miles to the south, 'The Magpie Group' are planning a demonstration ootside Sports Redirect's main hub in Shirebrook!

Although 'The Geordie Times' agrees with their sentiments, it will be a wasted jorney I'm afraid, az wor beloved owner? known affectionately az 'The Fat Controller' will be anywhere but there on Saturday!---and wot will the protests achieve?---absolutely NOTHIN' I'm afraid! 
Aa meen!, he iz hardly gannin to sell the club because of any protests against him az he iz (very!) thick skinned! (AND a lang way away from Shirebrook!)

NO! the anly way we will get rid of him iz if a very rich buyers comes alang and rumour haz it that an USA investor iz interested this time!---We've hord aall this before of course and just like the muthaa in law who lives with yoo---and who yoo cant get rid of---the same iz true of 'The Fat Controller'---beleeeve yoo me!

CHECK IT OOT!

Posted '1:16pm bells' Thorsday 15th November 2018
Updated Friday

The draw for the next roond of The Checkatrade Trophy takes place on Friday @ '1:00pm bells'
NUFC U21s won wor group and are to be rewarded with a home tie against one of the followin':
Stoke U21s, Man City U21s, Bury's 1st team, Macclesfield's 1st team, Waalsaal's 1st team, Oldim's 1st team or Lincoln's 1st team

The tie to be played sometime in December with Wembley 'the carrot on the stick' for the final!

We have ne idea wethaa the game will take place @ St. James' Park or Blue Flames Sports groond in Benton! (aka Whitley Park)

Az soon az we find oot we will let yi naa!

Updated '1:17pm bells' Friday

Its MACCLESFIELD TOON! 
Tie to be played commencin' December 3rd

MAD-SAD GR😨UNDH😨PPER MAYHEM!😨!

Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 14th November 2018

"COMPLETE COCKERELS COCK UP!"

It haz been reported that there iz a very reeel chance that wor game v Sporz in their new stadium in February might NOT take place az it iz still not ready, despite claims that it would definatly be open by Xmas!
Contractors are apparently tornin up on site, drunk and on drugs and some have nowt to de az deliveries have not arrived!
The loonatics are runnin the asylum in this case!


The whole situation iz a complete farce and Sporz fans are not 'happy bunnies' because of this---and neethaa are WE, 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers', who were lookin forward to a visit to a new groond---and who now face the prospect of a visit to Wembley yet again, with many of us lookin for wor forst competitive win there in 8 attempts (3 FA Cup final losses, 1 Leegue Cup final loss, 1 FA Cup semi-final loss, 1 Charity Shield loss) and 1 Premyaa Leegue loss!) (v Sporz last season)

Yoo would have to be at least 70 years old to remember and witness wor last win there, in the 1955 FA Cup final! (63 years ago and coontin'!)

There iz still a smaall chance that we WILL play at the new stadium this season----but 'divvint coont yi chickens yet'! 

PS: Az the pitch and stands are in a different place to the old ones, we class it az a new groond!

Wembley's pitch and stands are in the same place az they were before it woz rebuilt, so it izn't a new groond!
('NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' rule 37 B!)

OLD AND NEW WEMBLEY SUPER IMPOSED
(Yoo can fit the old one inside the new one!)

GRIMSBEEE v THE TOON U21s *** TOONEET

Posted '2:25pm bells' Tuesday 113th November 2018
Updated 10:00pm bells in Eccles on a night truck run!

Tooneet NUFCs resorve side travel to Grimsbeee for a Checkatrade Trophy match---Just one point iz needed to qualify for the last 32 and a possible meetin' with the SMBs senior team! (Can yoo imagine that---wor resorves v the mackems forst team!!!!

Anyway!--the game kicks off at '7:45 bells' and if yoo are gannin the away end iz open, priced £5 for big kids and £1 for little kids and sprogs get in FREE!

'The Geordie Times' forst visited Grimsbeee  36 years ago in 1982, where we drew 2-2 in the old 2nd Division---and we have been there a couple of times since---az this iz a resorve game on a groond we have been te before, we wont be gannin---BUT a few of the 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' are and we will bring yoo the result az soon az we find oot!

PS: Their groond iz actually in Cleethorpes, so divvint heed for Grimsbeee or yoo will miss the game!!!😮

Updated 10:00pm bells
FT Grimsbeee 2 The Toon U21s 3

The Toon won this 5 goal thriller after comin from behind to progress to the last 32 of the competition with a Wembley final the carrot on the end of the stick.

Goals from Callum Roberts (shot) Elias Sorensen (heeder) and Matty Longstaff (free kick) sealed the win in front of 547 includin 66 NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!

NUFC win the group and will have a home tie in the next roond because of this---The draw iz on Friday!

THE TOON 2 BOURNEMOOOTH 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted '10:20am bells' Remembrance Sunday 11th November 2018---Updated '11:21am bells' Munday

A DISPLAY OF POPPIES @ THE GALLOWGATE END!

"WE WILL REMEMBER THEM!"

Exactly 100 years ago today the 1st World War ended--and yesterday, az you'd expect, there woz a minutes silence at St James' Park and aall futbaall groonds around the country!

The game woz won by 2 goals in the forst half from Soloman Rondon, the 2nd a spectacular 'bullet' heeder at The Leazes End which Wyn Davies and Alan Shearer would have been proud of!

Bournemoooth pulled one back just before the break and it woz nailbitin stuff in the 2nd period az they tried to get the equaliser!
They DID'NT and for the 2nd game in a row we took the 3 points to move us up to the dizzy heights of 14th in the table, but still just one point above the drop zone!

Sorry that this iz just a brief report for now, but I have got to pay my respects at '11:00am bells' to 'The glorious dead' at my local war memorial!

Updated 'high noon bells' Munday

Spot the 1,300 Bournemoooth fans huddled 

in the corner of the top deck of The Leazes End

How the goals were scored:
7th minute: Yedlin sends a cross in from the right at the Leazes End and Rondon's subsequent shot iz saved by Begovic in the visitors goal---but the baall rebounds to wor number 9 and he fires the baall into the net to score hiz forst Premyaa Leegue goal for The Toon!

39th minute: After a 10 minute delay due to an twisted knee injury to Bournemoooth's Adam Smith, Kenedy sends in a pin point cross and Rondon's bullet-heeder gives their keeper ne chance, az we double wor lead!---az the crowd explodes!

45+ 6 minutes: 'The Cherry Pickers' reduce the deficit when Lerma heeds into the Gallowgate End net (Their nickname iz: The Cherries!) 

The 2nd half woz a bit nervy az wor visitors tried to find the equaliser, but some excellent saves from Dubravka in The Toon goal saved the day and then near the end, Rondon  missed a great chance to get hiz hat-trick when he woz clean through on goal, but hiz effort woz put behind by Begovic for a corner!
The ref gave a goal kick, but the linesman on The Milburn Stand side flagged to say that iz woz a corner! (how the ref couldn't see that iz a mystery az he woz just a few feet from the incident!?)

The linesman in question had seemingly given every decision before that to Bournemoooth, and one wag behind me commented that: "Hiz flag must only be able to gan one way!"

With 9 minutes left ex SMB striker Defoe came on and we feared the worst!----But we managed to hold oot and the ref finally blew hiz whistle @ '5:03pm bells' (due to the forst half injury to Smith) az we picked up 'back to back' wins for the forst time in 9 months!

Things are lookin UP ↥ at last!

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Schar, Fernandez, Dummett, Ritchie (Hayden 74), Diame, Ki, Kenedy (Clark 78), Perez, Rondon

Attendance: 49,266 (just 1,300 Cherry Pickers!)

IF Bournemoooth had sold their full allocation of 3,200 tickets the crowd would have been: 51,166

*Geordie Times factfile: Salamon Rondon became the 144th different player to score for us in The Premyaa Leegue!
We are nuw just 3 behind Sporz at the top of the pile, who have 147 different scorers

Footnote: Before the match we were in 'The Bodega' boozer on Westgate Road, where Cardiff were playin Brightin on the telly. 
A buglar played the last post and then there woz a minutes silence. The packed pub went deathly quiet az fans stopped wot they were doin' and observed the minutes silence!

That's the forst time I have ever seen this in a pub!

"LEST WE FORGET!"

6 NUFC players were killed in World War 1

The 4 ringed are Tom Goodwill, Dan Dunglinson, Owen McManus and Tom Cairns

Also killed were George Rivers and Richard McGough

SOOOTHAMPTON U23s v THE TOON U23s **** TOONEET

Posted '4:25pm bells' Friday 9th November 2018

"STAPLE DIET!"

Tooneet @ Sooothampton's Staplewood trainin' groond, wor U23s take on theirs in a FA Premyaa Resorve Leegue cup game @ '7 bells'
'The Geordie Times' wont be there, but yoo can bet your bottom dollar that a handful of 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' will be there! (If it woz on a 'proper groond' and not a trainin complex, then we would definitely have travelled doon to deepest Hampshire!)

We will of course let yoo know how we 'got on' ASAP

Meeenwhile wor U18s have been drawn away to Bolton U18s in the thord roond of the FA Youth Cup---to be played on or before 15th December! (We've been here before of course!)

Updated '9:48pm bells' in Eccles, Manchester (on truck run!)---(stationary!)

FT 1-1    Elias Sorensen saved the day when he scored with a well taken shot just 2mins from time after Marcus Barnes had given Sooothampton the lead after 18mins 
Attendance not known yet, but there woz at least one 'NUFC mad-sad groundhopper' present!

The game woz played in heavy rain (just like it iz in Eccles az I write this!)

"IT WOZ 50 YEARS AGO TODAY!" (Part 2)

Posted '11:20 am bells' Friday 9th November 2018

The Geordie Times 'Golden Jubilee' celebrations continue, when, on this day half a century ago aa paid mee forst ever visit to London to watch The Toon play The Arse at Highbury!
(Archive match report below this one)

(Ground 004, Arsenal Stadium, Highbury, London, Ing-er-land, Europe, The World!)

THE TOON v BOURNEMOOOTH *** PREMYAA LEEGUE THIS SATURDAY

Posted '4:32pm bells' Thorsday 8th November 2018

"CHILD'S PLAY!"

Rafa haz said that NUFC fans consider the players az their 'children' and that offerin them encouragement, even when they make misstakz, iz the best way to achieve success this season!

Benitez insists that the majority of fans realise that unity woz crucial in helpin NUFC win promotion in the 2016-2017 campaign az well az bein an important factor in NUFCs 10th place finish last season!

He expects a similar positive atmosphere v Bournemoooth this Saturday az we had last weekend v Wotfaad, when we won for the forst time this season in 12 attempts!

Muto meenwhile iz unlikely to play, while Shelvey iz a doubt!  Lascelles however IZ available for selection in yet anothaa must win game!

Bournemoooth have sold 1,722 tickets for the game, which iz ower a thoosand more than both Brightin and Wotfaad sold in wor last 2 home games!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Sunday!

PS: A'm havin problems with mee laptop and aa have to de everything on mee mobile!---which isnt easy on a smaall screen!

Updated Friday---SORTED!