BAD BLUE BOYS V CHESTER *** FA CUP 3rd Qualifyin roond

Posted '1:45pm bells' Friday 5th October 2018

Left to right: Manager, Chris Swailes, Captain, Dan Halliday 
and Chairman, Malcolm James

Tomorrow 'The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston' play their biggest game in their history when they take on former leegue side Chester at Federation Park in Dunston in the FA Cup!

Northern Leegue side Dunston, are the lowest ranked team still left in the competition and a photo of the manager, captain and chairman with the FA Cup are featured in the sports section of today's local rag---'The Ronny Gill' (Newcasil Chronicle)

A huge crowd by their standards iz expected (1,500 plus) and Chester are sure to bring a large contingent!

Unfortunately for me, the game clashes with NUFCs away game at Man U and this iz where I will be tomorrow afternoon!

A few of mee mates are gannin to the Dunston game and will update me with any scores!

Best of luck Bad Blue Boys---I WILL be there in spirit!

FINGER LICKIN' BAD!

Posted '2:45pm bells' Thorsday 4th October 2018

Photos of wor 'beloved'? owner givin 'Harvey Smith style gestures' to Toon fans ootside a Ponteland Italian restaurant to the north of Newcasil (pronoonced 'Pon-tee-land') are deein the roonds!

A meetin with Rafa and the 'gang' woz arranged 'to clear the air' in the full glare of a tv crew and paparazzi zoom lenz cameras (how did they find oot?)

News spread like wildfire and before lang the anti 'Fat Controller brigade' were on the scene with their banners!

RAFA ARRIVES FOR HIZ 'HAPPY HOUR' PIZZA!

When wor owner appeared after the meal (a 'finger lickin' £5:95  pizza!---ne expense spared!) he woz heckled and booood by the dozen or so fans who had made a bee-line for Pon-tee-land---and hiz partin gesture az he got into a car, woz to stick 2 fingers up to the protesters!

This tells yoo everything yoo need to know just wot he 'finks' aboot wor fans!

*Harvey Smith woz a showjumper in the 1970s who famously stuck 2 fingers up at judges in a competition!

NUFC ARNT THE ANLY CLUB IN CRISIS!

Posted '12:25pm bells' Wedinzday 3rd October 2018

A SHADOW OF WOR FORMER SELVES!

Ne news, in the case of NUFC, iz bad news, az the silence after an alleged takeover bid haz went 'dead in the waataa', bringin more dispear for the 50,000 faithful!

We arnt the anly club in crisis of course---take 'The Hazbeenz and Villains' ex mackem manager 'Broken Nose' Bruce, who's neck iz on the block, az their fans bay for hiz heed!
A 4th season in The Championship, now looks like becomin reality after just a few games played and 15,000 empty seats at Villa Park!
(We cant say we are sorry aboot this, after they mocked 'us' when we were relegated (twice!)

Ipswich wanted rid of ex mackem manager 'Bent Nose' McCarthy and have foond an even worse manager than him az they sit at the bottom of The Championship!
15,000 empty seats again!

Moan United fans wanted rid of Fergy and now want rid of Moanrhino sharpish, az they flounder in mid table (thoosands of empty seats in The Champions Leegue last neet in the bore draw v Valencia!) ( Be careful wot yoo wish for!)

And then theres the mackems themselves, who had a 'big!, big! game last neet v those 'giants' of futbaall ---PETERBOROUGH UNITED!!?
20,000 empty pink seats for this game, that woz billed 'huge', ended 2-2! (Peterborough United---a big club?---that's how far they have fallen!)
Those othaa 'giants' of the game, Accrington Stanley who had a crowd of 2,000 last neet, now sit level on points with the SMBs in the 3rd 'tear' of Inglish futbaall! "WOW!"

NUFC are heedin that way, if we are not careful, az we are now a shadow of 'The Entertainers' team from the 1990s!

OH FOR A NEW OWNER!----"PLEEEEZE!"

"COME DINE WITH ME!"

Posted '1:25pm bells Munday 1st October 2018

News that wor beloved? owner 'The Fat Controller' who woz loudly "boooooed" at Saturday's game, iz to take Rafa and the players oot for a pizza later this week to 'cut the ice', haz just been reported on Sky telly!

Aalso it haz been reveeeled that Peter Kenyon, who iz reportedly tryin to broker a deal to buy wor great club, shud, "Show him the money!", before any talks can be made!

'The Fat Controller's 'mouth piece' Dennis Wise' The Poison Dwarf' 
⇠(pictured) haz said on ' 'Sky' that "Mike' will only sell the club to someone that will take them forward!" (And not backwards az he haz done for 11 years!)
Much more to follow on aall this on Sky Sports News ne doubt!
We will keep yoo, wor loyal reeeders posted on any developments!

THE TOON 0 THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted  'high noon bells' Sunday 30th September 2018

"HISTORY IZ MADE!---BUT FOR AALL THE WRANG REASONS!"

Yoo divvint have to gan to the pictures to watch a horror show! Just gan to *NE1 4ST instead and yoo will see one!

This woz a game we HAD to win, but failed miserably az Lestaa took advantage of wor ineficiancy!
With striker Rondon oot for up to 2 months, it woz left to Joselu and Perez to lead the line once again! ("Oh no!")

We did have chances in the forst half when Joselu woz put clean through by Perez, but dillied and dallied near the goal and a defender toe poked the baall oot for a corner when Joselu shud have had a shot!

Diame then had a free heeder but put hiz effort wide of the goal at The Leazes End!

The misses were to prove costly az a debatable hand baall by Yedlin in the box left Vardy to shoot home from the followin penalty on the half hour mark!

Jonjo Shelvey then had an audasious lob shot from the halfway line but hiz effort woz saved by Shmicel in the visitors goal! (This woz to be wor anly shot on target in the entire match!)

The 2nd half woz terrible from wor point of view and in the 73rd minute the final nail in wor coffin woz hammered home when an unmarked Maguire heeded into the net to send the 3,000 Basil Brush Brigade wild in level 7 of The Leazes End!

Loud chants against 'The Fat Controller' followed, az he sat in the directors box for the forst time in 16 months ---and reports that he had a smirk on hiz face, tells yoo aall yoo need to know aboot him!

8 year old grandson Jamie asked to leave 15 minutes from the end az mee othaa grandson Zac disappeared with hiz daddy doon to the exits, with thoosands of othaa fans!

I told Jamie we had to stay till the bitter end, just in case we got a goal back! (Am I a cruel grandad or wot?)
We DIDNT!--- and history woz made (for aall the wrang reasons!) az we lost the openin 4 home games of a season for the forst time since 1892 (The year NUFC were formed, 126 years ago!)
It woz aalso the forst time since 1896 that we have gone into October withoot a win of any description!---Depressin' times indeed!😨

The anly light at the end of this dark tunnel iz the news that former Man U and Chelski chief executive Peter Kenyon iz brokerin a deal with Rockefeller Capital Management to buy wor great club!---Lets hope its true, or else 'The Championship' beckons us yet again, under 'The Fat Controller's disastrous leadership! (A possible hat-trick of relegations in 10 years!!!)

'WATCH' THIS SPACE!

*NE1 4ST iz NUFC's postcode!
*Explanation: Lestaa are nicknamed 'The Foxes'---Basil Brush iz a fox---get it?

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin(Manquillo 80), Lascelles, Clark, Kenedy, Ritchie(Murphy), Shelvey, Diame, Atsu, Joselu, Perez (Muto 69)

Attendance: 51,523 (3,000 Basil Brush foxes)

*

Top to bottom Flag day in The Leazes and Gallowgate Ends 

plus Jamie's backwards cap!

THE TOON v THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE *** TOODAY!

Updated '11:05am bells' Saturday 29th September 2018

THIS WEEK 114 YEARS AGO***THE ADMIRAL OF THE FLEET KICKS OFF 

THE DERBY GAME v THE SMBs AT ST. JAMES' PARK

(LEAZES TERRACE (left) AND ST JAMES' STREET (right) 
OWERLOOK THE PROCEEDINGS!) 

News that Salomon Rondon will NOT be fit (again!) to play in wor game v Lestaa this comin' Saturday haz reached 'The Geordie Times' via carrier pigeon! >>>>>>>>>

So it will be the 'same old-same old' line up to try and get wor forst competitive win of the season at the 7th attempt!

'The Basil Brush Brigade' have sold 3,000 tickets for this game, but tickets are still on sale to Toon fans.
It will be interestin' to see the size of the crowd for 'this one' az wor visitors are the forst team ootside the 'big six' this season to visit SJP.

3 points are of utmost importance az wor next away game iz against Man U at The Theatre of Muppets a week later!

Shud we fail to beat Lestaa, then we could well be 'cut adrift' if we fail at Man U az well, before the 2nd international break of the season iz upon us in 3 weeks time!

PS: Just foond oot that Fernandez and Dummett are both injured az well and will miss the game!---It's aall gannin wrang!---isn't it just!

A full Geordie Times match and pix report will appear here sometime tomorrow!

"I'D RATHER READ THE BEANO!!!"

Posted '1:20pm bells' Friday 28th September 2018

"Are you Dennis Wise by any chance?"

Startlin' news that wor 'beloved' owner? (known affectionately az 'The Fat Controller') would rather read 'The Beano' than read the club programme, tells yoo everything you need to to know aboot how much interest he haz in NUFC!

"Who's that on the front cover???"

By the way Mike, hows Biffo the Bear doin' these days?

"YET ANOTHAA FINE MESS!"

Posted 2:45pm bells Tuesday 25th September 2018

Starring Dennis Wise 'the poison dwarf' az Stan Laurel 

and Tony 'I havvint got a clue' Jimenez az Oliver Hardy!

"YOU'RE XISCO KID(DING)!"

Revelations by wor former player and manager Kevin Keegan that we signed 2 players for astronomical fees' behind hiz back, have been published in wor 'little sister', The Times of London.

Xisco woz signed for £5.7 million by Tony Jimenez the executive put in charge of transfors, but, unbeleeeviblee, nebody from NUFC had EVER seen him play!

And then there's Igacio Gonzalez who Dennis Wise told Keegan to view on YouTube in a 60 second video!
Keegan looked, but thought he woz cr*p and told Wise what he thought!
Wise replied that "He woz a great player!", although he had never seen him kick a baall!
"We owe 2 South American agents a favour!" Wise went on, and "You don't even have to play him!--or have him set foot inside St. James' Park!"", which knocked King Kev for 'six'

Az it transpires, both players were aalready in the country anyway , and Keegan realised that they were aalready signed behind hiz back and this woz the trigger to sever hiz ties with the club he loved!

Xisco's wages were a mouth waaterin' £60,000 a WEEK (ower £3 million a year!), while Gonzalez woz on a 'mere' £26,000 a week! (£1 million a year!)

Xisco made 9 appearences in 4 years and scored ONE solitary goal while Gonzalez made TWO subs appearences totalling 38 MINUTES!--He then got injured and never played for us again!

The anly reason I can remember Xisco iz that he woz the forst player in wor history to have an name beginnin' with the letter 'X'
(X for 'X' certificate, perhaps!---for a c*ap player who pocketed ower £12 MILLION in hiz time here!)
And az for Gonzalez????????

"Quick!---switch on that Laurel and Hardy film!"

FA CUP 3rd PRELIMANY ROOND DRAW! *** BAD BLUE BOYS GET CHESTER!

Posted '2:30pm bells' Munday 24th September 2018

"BRING ON CHESTER!" "GGRRRRR!"

The draw for the 3rd prelimanary roond of the FA Cup haz just been made and the anly north east team definatly through are 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston, who have been given a plumb home tie against former leegue club Chester!


Dunston beat Irlam of Manchester 2-1 on Saturday, while 'The Consett Hillbillies' drew 3-3 at home to Warrington Toon and 'The Spartans of Blyth' drew 2-2 away to Nantwich!
If Consett win their the replay they will be at home to Telford ,while Blyth must travel to Gainsborough shud they progress!
'The Bad Blue Boys' are the lowest ranked team who are defiantly through to the next roond

Unfortunately we wont be there, az the ties will be played on Saturday 6th October---the same day az 'The Toon' travel to Man U for a Premyaa Leegue fixture!---and NUFC games must take priority!

CRISTIL PALISS 0 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted '11:00am bells' Sunday 23rd September 2018

"THE UNTERTAINERS!"

The '7:27am bells' jorney doon from 'The Central' woz uneventful and we arrived at wor destination 4 hours later---The Portland Arms boozer, which woz a 25 minute waalk from the groond.

Az it woz quiet and fairly cheap by London standards (£4:10 a pint), we decided to stop there for 'the duration' and after several liquid lubrications we heeded to the nearest bus stop az it woz 'chuckin it doon' by this time and we didn't want to get soaked!

We waited ages for the bus and it eventually torned up, but didnt gan past Palace's groond az advertised, so we still had a canny hike to get there when we alighted (we naa aall the big words!) so we still got soaked!

Anyway! We entered the away end and aa hord one of fans say that The Fat Controller woz there, which sent the Toon contingent into chants against him az the game kicked off!
The chanting woz loud and ear-piercing!

The game, predicably woz borin to say the least az both teams struggled to put 2 passes together az Rondon and Shelvey made an appearance at last!

The view from row 33 woz terrible and we couldnt see the far corner of the pitch az the rake of the terracin iz too shallow! (And I'm 6 foot taall!) ---the worst groond in the Premyaa Leegue for viewin--for certain!

"SPOT THE CORNER FLAG!"

The forst half ended 0-0 az both sides will surely be in 'the mire' with performances like this! "ZZZZZzzzzz!"😴

Rondon didnt reappear for the 2nd half with Joselu replacin him, az we again struggled to produce anything positive!

It woz the 'same old'-'same old' story though, az we watched on!
20 odd years ago we were known az 'The Entertainers', now we are the exact opposite!---'The Untertainers'!😨

The chantin against wor beloved owner? then got nastier and more poisonous, when some fans chanted that they wished that he woz dead!

We survived a couple of eazy chances in the 2nd half, but we would have been unlucky to concede at this point!

A bottle woz aalso thrown onto the pitch near the end by one of wor idiots, which hit one of their players az the game petered oot into a torturous goal-less draw!

Amazingly we climbed one place up the table to 18th, but we will have to do much better to climb higher!

Anothaa one to forget I'm afraid and we got drenched in the pourin rain on wor way back to Selhurst train station!

EUSTON TAP (EAST LODGE)

A few gargels in Euston after the game followed, before we caught the '8 bells' train from King's Cross.
in total 3 boozers were visited on wor '100 away pub crawl challenge' (this will be updated soon!)

EUSTON TAP (WEST LODGE)

(2 completleee different bars 

opposite each other a near Euston station)

It woz due back at 'The Central' at '11:04 bells' but woz 28 minutes late, which meant aa missed mee last bus yem and had to flag a taxi doon at an extra cost of £10!--just to round off anothaa torturous and 'untertainin'  away trip! (If the train had been 30 mins late I would have got half mee money back on the ticket!--- sods law!😨)

Team line up and more pix to follow later az a'm off on 'the hoy' in the next few minutes!

Updated Munday mornin'

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Lascelles, Fernandez (wor best player!), Dummett, Shelvey, Diame, Ritchie (Atsu 73), Perez, Kenedy, Rondon (Joselu 46)

Attendance: 25,679 (2,899 Toon diehards!--plus 1 bottle throwin' idiot!)

*

From The Sunday Sun

'The Fat Controller' iz left in 

no doubt wot the fans 'fink'!