"DESPICABLE DASTARDLY DEEDS!"

Posted '12:40pm bells' Friday 23rd March 2018

THE 'SKY'S' THE LIMIT!---THE ABSOLUTE 'LIMIT'! 

News that wor game at Evaatin, which we thought couldnt be moved, az the live telly games for April had aalready been picked, HAZ been moved at the last minute at the bequest of SKY!
The game haz been moved from Saturday 21st April to Munday 23rd April with an '8 bells' kick off!---which meeeenz!---we will be unable to get back by train, az we will miss the last one oot of Lime Street (Liverpool)

Many of the 3,000 Toon fans who have bought tickets, like Colonel Gadaffi (the one from Bracknel in Berkshire and NOT the one from Libya!) had aalready booked trains and hotels for a Saturday game, thinkin that that date woz 'cast in stone', anly to find oot that it had been moved to the followin Munday neet, yesterday! ---DESPICABLE!

This iz the 11th time (ELEVENTH!) that one of wor away games haz been moved for live telly this season and ne thought haz been given to 'us' yet again!

The match tickets have the Saturday date on them and they have sold oot! (While NUFC will refund costs of match tickets for those unable to travel---train fares and hotels are NOT included---of course!)
Of course many fans cant gan to midweek away games for a number of reasons and they are the ones who will miss oot and they will have to watch it on the box!

EVEN WOR OWN CLUB ARE AGAINST US!

Wot SKY are sayin iz: "Even when we pick games for TV ,we can STILL change it at the last moment if we want to----just to f**k you up!"
"We dont care if you have booked trains and hotels!---Its your daft fault for not waitin til the last minute, just in case we change it at a whim!" (cheap advance train tickets are unrefundable and hotels may charge a fee for cancellations!)

In othaa words----even when the games are picked for the telly we cant be sure that that will be the case anymore!

PS: In my case, luckily I hadn't booked any trains etc, but I will have to take anothaa days holiday from work to gan now!

Az for a date for wor game at Wembley v Sporz???, we have been told that it will be played anytime between May 1st and May 10th, but we wont find oot til April, when it iz too late to book 'cheapies'!
(Yoo cud aalways 'gamble' and book an open advance train ticket and a 10 day hotel stay in London!---if yoo are rich enough that iz!)

DASTERDLY DEEDS INDEED!

GEORDIE TIMES PUB QUIZ ANSWER

Posted 1:30pm bells Thorsday 22nd March 2018

Did yoo get the answer to yesterday's quiz?
The pub in question iz within hocklin distance
of 'The Gallowgate End'

GEORDIE TIMES PHOTO QUIZ***** WHERE IN THE TOON?

Posted 12 45pm bells Wednesday 21st March 2018

Az there are ne games til a week on Saturday due to the International break---and because we have nowt else better to de!

In which famous pub 'tool-shed'

 in the Toon does this bog seat belong?

Aall will be revealed tomorrow!

ROYAL ANTWERP 1 THE TOON XXII 1 *** FRIENDLY FIXTURE IN SPAIN

Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 19th March 2018

IT FINISHED 1-1 !

Trip report from 'NUFC mad-sad groundhopper' 'Dave from York'

I got bus from mee hotel at 8 20 bells to the airport to pick up hire car. (Mee wife Lesley woz still in bed!----"ZZZZzzzz!!!!")
The car woz black n white! (Of course!)

We drove 50 miles to the groond with guidence from 'Biffa the beer'!
We met non flyer 'Glennn from Ashington' who had travelled 2 days by bus az he iz terrified of flyin'! (He eethaa desoves a medal the size of a dustbin lid--- OR a straight jacket'!)

IN COMPLETE CONTRAST, THE TEAM BUS WOZ RED N WHITE!

Tickets were bought at the gate for €5 and we went into the bar (az yi de!)
The place woz filled with Geordie ex pats, many wearin Toon tops from years gone by!

Amazingly, hardly anyone drank beer, but the place DID run oot of coffee cups!
We then foond a bar ootside that WOZ sellin beer only and it woz dein a roarin trade!

Eventually we went into the groond to brave the elements and there woz a strong cold wind blowin in wor faces and we were freeezin! (Wot! in Spain?)

Approx 1,300 were in attendance to watch the 3, 45min halves!

It woz a competitive game and worth seein'!
Matt Ritchie scored for us and Dwight Gayle missed a penalty and the game finished 1-1 (eventually!) 4 bookings sums it up!
In total 22 of the 27 players who travelled got some game time. (Slimani didnt feature---again!)

'Dave from York' writin for The Geordie Times!

ROYAL ANTWERP v THE TOON XXV **** HIGH NOON BELLS TODAY!

Posted '10:10am bells' Sunday 18th March 2018

In less than 2 hours time The Toon will be in action in sunny Spain when we take on Antwerp of Belgium in a 'stop-gap' friendly in a place caalled Pinatar!

THE PINATAR 'ARENA' WHERE THE GAME WILL BE PLAYED

Can't be there myself , this time, but wor intrepid 'NUFC mad sad groundhopper' 'Dave from York' will be sendin' us a brief report and some match/bar pix (if he doesnt forget!?)

The game consists bizzarly of 3, 45 minute 'halves' to give aall the 25 players (that's reet TWENTY FIVE!) who have travelled over, some game time!
This meeenz that the team that ends the game will be completely different to the one that starts!

Dave haz sent 'The Geordie Times' a photo of the match tickets to make me jelious, az he sits in a nice waam seafront boozer az the rest of us freeeeze to death in sub zero temperatures back home az heavy snow engulfs Tyneside!

"Any chance of comin' in?"

It's freeeeezin' oot here!"

Watch this space from this afternoon onwards!

Upate '220pm bells'
Drew 1-1  Matt Richie scored, Dwight Gayle missed a penalty!

"SPRING IZ HERE!?"

Posted '9:57am bells' Sunday 18th March 2018

"I'm not sayin' it's cold on 

Tyneside today---BUT!

WEATHAA SCUPPERS GEORDIE TIMES PLANS!

Posted '2:00pm bells' Saturday 17th March 2017

Because aa woz unable to gan to Spain for tomorrows friendly v Antwerp, aa decided to 'groundhop' to a new venue on Morseyside instead!

Wor U18s were due to play Everton's equivelent at their Finch Farm trainin complex in the Halewood district of Liverpool, but because of the severe wethaa warnings for the Pennines, it woz reluctantly decided to abandon the trip for fear of bein stranded on the M62---the highest motorway in Ing-er-land!

Aalso there woz the fear of the game not bein played at all and with ne way of findin oot on mee 'canny tranny's radio (Radio 5 Live and Talk Sport dont give info on such games!) this woz anothaa reason not to gan! (at the time writin aa STILL divvint naa if the game started at '1:00 bells'?)

Mee fave non leegue side 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston were due to play Newcastle Benfield in a Northern Leegue encoontaa, but this game woz postponed due to a waaterlogged pitch
at Benfield's groond in the east end of the Toon! (it will be 'snow bound' az we speak!)

This haz left me with ne alternative but to 'gan on the hoy' in various locations in the Toon, az the results come through on the bars tellys!

Hopefully results will gan wor way in the Premyaa Leegue games that are bein played today! (PS: 'We' arnt playin coz wor intended opponents, Sporz, are playin' in the FA Cup at Swanzee!)

Update
Wor U18s DID make it toFinch Farm, but were hammered 7-0 !  Good job aa didnt make it---EH!😨

HOW TO PUNISH YOUR CHILD IF HE/SHE HAZ BEEN NAUGHTY!

Posted '1:00pm bells' Thorsday 15th March 2018

"DESPERATE TIMES MEEENZ DESPERATE MEASURES!"

"THAT'LL PAY OFF THEIR £150 MILLION DEBT!
---WON'T IT!?"

Breaking news!
The SOS ticket office haz been swamped!
It's rainin very heavily in the sund'lind area!

A GAME OF THREE HALFS!

Posted '12:30pm bells' Thorsday 14th March 2018

   

Because of the 3 week break between games, wor squad iz away to southern Spain for a few days trainin at a place caalled Pinatar

A friendly game (of sorts) haz been arranged against Royal Antwerp of Belgium in Pinatar next Sunday dinnatime, which will comprise bizzarly of 3, 45 minute 'halfs' to give aall the squad some game time!

That meenz that 23 or 24 players will be put through their paces in wot iz in effect a glorified trainin session!
For that reason and the fact it iz a logistical nightmare to get there and back in 2 days (we need to get back for various reasons) ,we have decided to give it 'a miss', especially az its not bein played on a propaa groond anyway, and who's ever hord of a game of 3 halfs with 24 players a side?

This iz not a decision we have taken lightly! (IF it woz a propaa European competition game we would be there, for certain!)

The game of 135 minutes will be played at the Pinatar Arena, which by lookin at the pics iz in a trainin complex with 6 rows of seats on each side of the pitch! ('Arena' it iz NOT!)

We have been told that the players are under strict instructions NOT to nick any taxis like some West Brom players did in Barcelona, or gettin a sun tan like West Ham players are now doin in Florida (or wherever they are?)

I am still gannin to watch Newcasil ower the weekend however!---That's Newcastle Benfield v Dunston Bad Blue Boys in a Noorthern Leegue encoontaa in the east end of the Toon!

PS there ARE some NUFC mad sad groundhoppers gannin!
Namely Biffa the beer, Glennn from Ashington and Dave from York and hiz 'better half' Lesley!

"ONE MORE SEAT THAN NEWCASTLE!"

Posted '12:25pm bells' Tuesday 13th March 2018

It's just after half time at the SOS and Villa are leadin' 2-0

"One more seat!---

Your havin a laff!"😅

Former sund'lind 'supremo' bob murray once said that he wanted "One more seat than Newcastle!", when their new stadium woz built in 1997, claimin that they had more fans than us!

He aalso copied Benfica and gave it it's ridiculous name, after concludin that az it woz built on an old colliery pit site, which of course woz in darkness, it should be caalled the exact opposite!?

Fast forward 21 years and we are telt that because of apathy, they are to close the top concourse of their stadium and relocate season ticket holders to ' the lower pink seated bowl' az they cant fill the top one!

Meeenwhile and in total contrast NUFCs next home game v 'uddersfield in just under 3 weeks time iz a complete 52,300 sell oot!

For "one more seat", read "30,000 less seats than Newcastle needed'!"