THE LIVERBIRDS 2 THE TOON 0 **** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '10 32am bells' Sunday 4th March 2018
onwards!

"TALES OF THE EXPECTED!" (Again!)

(Brief match report on train(s) back)

Anothaa 'white flag of surrender game' where we tried to contain 'The Liverbirds'--but predicably we failed miserably az we watched on from row 31 in The Anfield Road End with wor view restricted by the roof above (see photos!)

We lasted til the 40th minute when Salah shot and it defected off Dubravka and into the net!

Mo Diame nearly equalised a minute later, but hiz shot woz tipped aroond the post by Karlus in the home goal!---wor best chance of the match!

After the break we conceded again in the 55th when Mane fired home in front of The Kop!

It woz 'white flag time' and no way back az wor powder puff attack failed to dent the home sides defence!

An overdressed Toon fan!

It could have been worse az The Liverbirds went for more, but thankfully they couldnt add any more and wor goals against column woz anly slightly dented!

Othaa results went wor way (apart from Brighton's win on Sunday!) and we are still 2 points above the drop zone in 16th place!

Geordie Times fact file:
We have now played 5 of the so caalled 'top 6'  away from home and lost the lot!
1-4 v Man U, 1-3 v Chelski (0-3 in FA Cup!), 0-1 v The Arse, 1-3 v Man C and 0-2 v The Liverbirds!
We anly have Sporz to play away now oot of the 'top 6'! (Thank God for smaall mercies!)

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Lascelles, Dummett, Atsu, Merino (Hayden 73), Diame, Kenedy, Murphy (Perez 84), Gayle (Joselu 66)

Attendance: 53,287 (2,950 Toon fans)

For "I'm feelin a bit parched!---so lets gan 'on the hoy' in March!" and travel disaster report(s), scroll doon to next 2 articles!

I'M FEELIN A BIT PARCHED---LETS GAN ON 'THE HOY' IN MARCH! v THE LIVERBIRDS!

Posted '8am bells' Saturday 3rd March 2018-----onwards!

We continue wor 'binge' in the month of March in Liverpoool!
The 9 10bells train woz on time???

Matthew Street, Liverpoool!

Toon fans watch a band in The Cavern Club!

Later on The Beatles made an appearance!

(Honest!)

THE BEATLES USED TO DRINK IN THIS PUB ON MATTHEW STREET AFTER GIGS

NUFC lost 2  0 and the drownin of the sorrows took place here post match!

The mornin aftaa the neet before (in Warrington coz hotel woz £32 a room.

In Liverpoool it woz £200!)

We had to change trains at 'uddersfield and nipped oot the station for a quick 'liquid lubrication'! (Az yi de!)

A statue of Harold Wilson the former primeminister in a snow covered square near 'uddersfield station!

(He woz born here!)

We were delayed an hour at 'uddersfield and caught the next train to the Toon---BUT! the train termanated at Darlo unexpectedly and we had to get off and wait 30 mins for yet anothaa train and we arrived back on Tyneside some FIVE HOURS after leavin Warrington--- a 3 hour journey, normally!

Who wud be a Toon fan!

See next article doon for my ROAD problems on Friday!

Full match report on Sunday or Munday  (gannin on 'the hoy' when aa get back yem later today!😨

WEATHER WATCH **** THE LIVERBIRDS v THE TOON

Posted '11:11am bells' Friday 2nd March 2018

News that the M62 motorway iz closed and iz likely to be closed until the bad weather haz abated, reaches us via the news channels! (The main route to Liverpool from the north east!)

We are due to travel by train to Liverpool on Saturday mornin' and  if there are any problems there, we are in deep trouble! (hopefully not 'deep snow'!)
(Train passengers have been stranded owerneet, doon the south!)

I have been off work for the last 2 days because it woz deemed too dangerous to drive to Redditch in Worcestershire!

However! My company have informed me that I WILL be heedin there this afternoon in mee truck, az the red weather warnings have been reduced to amber! (A 440 miles roond trip from Tyneside!)

Thoughts of gettin stranded like 1,000's of motorists have been owerneet on the M62 and othaa major roads in the UK have entered my heed!😨

I have been to 1,100 (plus) competitive games in a row watchin 'The Toon' and with Liverpool declarin' that the game WILL gan aheed, that run could well come to an abrupt end!

I will keep yoo posted on my progress (or lack of it!) az the day/night run progresses!
Fingers (and toes!) crossed!✖✖✖✖

'Fink' (the mad-sad groundhopper!)

Update '9 55pm bells' Woodall sorvices truck park

The road to hell!😨

(The A435 from Redditch to

Bormingham)

Snow iz horrendous in Bormingham area and I nearly got stuck on a steep hill at Redditch!
Just made it up hill and onto M42 where heavy snow woz faallin
Snow haz now cleared on M1
It woz a close call, but I shud get back ok at 1:30am bells---Train to Liverpool iz at 9:10am bells in mornin!☺

THE LIVERBIRDS v THE TOON *** SATURDAY AFTERNOOON!

Posted '7:30pm bells' Thorsday 1st March 2018

On Saturday we will 'attempt' the trip across the Pennines to Scouseland where NUFC will 'attempt' to win at Anfield for the forst time since 1995!

With treacherous weather conditions not expected to get any better in the next 2 days, we can anly hope that 'The Trans-Pennine express' iz runnin to schedule and that we make it for the '5 30 bells' kick off on Saturday evenin'!

We are on the '9am bells' train from 'The Central' and hope to take in a visit to The Cavern Club in Liverpool and the surroondin' pubs where The Beatles frequented in the orly 1960's!

This year will be 50 years since aa forst visited Anfield in 1968 and amazingly I have NEVAA visited The Cavern, despite bein' a big Beatles fans since aa woz a young child and havin visited Liverpool for Toon games many, many times since then!

Indeed, when aa did the match report from that game half a century ago, aa gave it the title 'She loves you! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!' az the Scousers used to sing Beatles songs on The Kop, az well az 'You'll never walk alone' by Gerry and the Pacemakers--- anothaa Scouse group of course!

The archive match report from that game iz printed below!

"BLANKETY BLANKETY BLANK!"

Posted '9 50pm bells' Wednesday 28th February 2018

Because of Sporz 6-1 win ower Rochdale in the FA Cup 5th roond replay tooneet, we will have a blank 3 weeks withoot a game from Saturday 10th March v Sooothampton at home and Saturday 31st March v 'uddersfield at home! (Wor 2nd 'blankety blank' enforced 2 week (plus) break this year alone! (Because we aalso exited at the 4th roond stage of the cup in January!)

This iz because Sporz will be playin Swanzee in the qwaataa finals of the cup and that will take priority ower wor leegue game against them, which will now be cancelled!
(We have absoluteleee ne idea just when that game at Wembley will now be 'fitted in'?)

An international break will aalso render anothaa weekend 'blankless' az well!

Aall this talk of a winter break rings very true for us---NOW!----az we have nevaa got to the 5th roond stage of the FA Cup since 'The Fat Controller' took 'the controls', 11 years ago!

'THE BEAST FROM EAST' SPOTTED IN A GATESHEED CAR PARK!

Posted '9:06pm bells' Wednesday 28th February 2018

A snowstorm envelopes the tower blocks in

Newcasil's west end at 3 bells this mornin'!

"WHERE'S THE TOWERS GONE!?

The arctic weathaa haz reached Tyneside with minus 15 temperatures bein' reported!
Accordingleee the local lasses have wrapped themsels up in waam clothin'!

Somewhere doon the quayside this afternoon!

'The beast from the east'

spotted in a Gatesheed car park!

Somewhere in the centre of the Toon,

2 feet of snow fell doon from the sky!

"Woof! Woof! Where's a St Bernard when you need one? Woof!"

APRIL TELLY GAMES ANNOONCED!

Posted '1 22pm bells' Wednesday 28th February 2018

The telly games for April have been annoonced and anly 1 of wor 4 games have been moved----the home game v The Arse which iz live on SKY!

The Basil Brush Brigade, away
Sat 7th April @ 3 bells

The Arse, home
Sun 15th April @ 1 30 bells

The Toffee Noses, away
Sat 21st April @ 3 bells

The Baggie Troosers, home
Sat 28th April @ 3 bells

"WE'RE NOT THE ANLY ONES!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 27th February 2018

Toon fans are not the anly ones who want rid of their owner(s)!

BOURNEMOOOTH 2 THE TOON 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 25th February 2018

1st HALF ACTION AZ THE TOON (in blue) ATTACK THE FAR GOAL

The diary of a lang sufferin' Toon fan!

"WE NEARLY HOYED IT AWAY!"

The day started off at 3 45am bells when aa dragged mee lifeless body oot of bed az the alarm went off!
A shower, shave and s**t later and it woz time to gan!
The taxi a'd ordered torned up at 4 25 bells and  aa heeded for 'The Central' (station) to catch the 5 25 bells train to King's Cross (London)
Az the taxi pulled oot of my street it nearly hit a bus which woz comin alang the main road and the bus driver blasted hiz horn and sworved across the road to avoid a collision! (Great start to the day!)

I arrived at The Central 5 minutes later (still in one piece!) and met up with the usual 'crew'

It woz then onward to KX and then a tube ride to Waaterloo station to catch anothaa train to Bournemoooth! ( but not before catchin a quick liquid lubrication the the station's bar!)

We arrived at high noon bells, some 6 and a half hours after leavin Tyneside and heeded for a boozer 5 mins waalk from the station, where it woz packed with Toon fans in a boystrus ⬅(Geordie Times spelllin!) mood!

We decided to stay there az some of the othaa boozers anly let home fans in and we left in good time for the kick off after a GOOD session on 'the hoy'!

We played in wor blue away kit and to cut a very lang story short we were cruisin by half time thanx to 2 goals from Dwight Gayle!

The forst came in the 17th minute when Gayle backheeled the baall into the net!
The second came bang on half time when a Kenedy corner foond Paul Dummett who crossed the baall and Gayle woz on hand to tap in and claim hiz second goal of the game az the Toon fans celebrated wildly!
The sun blazed doon from the top of the far stand (see photo below) and it woz that hot I actually took mee coat off and stood in mee short sleeved T shirt! ---In FEBRUARY?

"I CAN SEE THE LIGHT!"

We shud have increased wor lead on 2 occasions in the second period when Perez missed a sitter and Jonjo Shelvey inexplicably shot ower the bar from 3 yards oot with the goal at hiz mercy with just 11 mins left on the clock!

VIEW OF THE TINY MAIN STAND 

That woz the tornin point in the game and Bournemoooth went straight up the field to the othaa end a scored with a shot by Smith!
Havin takin wor strike force off by this time it woz 'backs to the waall' defendin az the home side pounded wor goal!

The heartbreak moment came in the last minute of the game when Bournemoooth equalised through ex Toon player Dan Gosling!

5 mins injury time woz added az the home side pressed for the winner with a sucsession of corners but thankfully it nevaa came az the ref blew for full time!
2-0 up with 10 mins to gan and we nearly 'lost it'----UNBELEEEVIBLE!

We heeded back to London, where some 'liquid lubrication' and sarnies were bought in Tesco's for the jorney back (but not before a quick pint in The Scottish Stores boozer near King's Cross station!)

We eventually arrived back just after 'midneet bells', totally 'cream crackered' after the 700 mile plus roond trip in a day!

We've said it before----and we'll say it again!---
WHO WUD BE A TOON FAN!?

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Lascelles, Lejeune, Dummett, Ritchie (Manquillo 84), Shelvey, Diame, Kenedy (Atsu 64), Perez, Gayle (Hayden 78)

Attendance: 10,808 (1,360 'shell shocked' Toon fans!)
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"LETS GAN ON THE BEVVY IN FEB-BREW-ERY @ BOURNEMOOOTH!

Posted from '9:45 am bells onwards Saturday 24th February 2018

London Waterloo

(9 45am bells)

Bournemoooth

(Just after high noon bells!)

Stopped here til match time

Match report tomorrow

FT 2  2

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