THE CANARY CUSTARD CREAMS U18s v THE TOON U18s *** FA YOUTH CUP

Posted '1:20pm bells' Wednesday 7th February 2018

THE LAST TIME WE WERE AT CARROW ROAD WOZ FOR A 1st TEAM GAME

IN 2016-2017 ***NUFC DREW 2-2

Tooneet wor youth team take on Norwich's equivalent at Carrow Road in the 5th roond of the Youth Cup

WE are gannin for an unequivocal <(we naa aall the big words!) ELEVENTH  successive away win in the competition!!!

We unfortunately wont be there, but will bring yoo the final score az soon az we find oot!

Updated Thorsday dinnaatime

Wor attempt to win a 11th away win in a row in the competion failed az we went doon 4-3 in wot woz a see-saw game!
Norwich came from 2-0 doon to 3-2 up and an injury time goal from Wilson sent the game into extra time---anly for the home side to grab the winner in the 101st minute to send us crashin oot of the competition!😥

Watts and Soressen got wor forst 2 goals!

THE 'WINTER' OF DISCONTENT!

Posted '6 40pm bells' Tuesday 6th February 2018

The Geordie Times'z 'little sister The Times of London has done an excellent article by their respected chief sports writer Henry Winter on wor current plight!

THE BANNER IN THE GALLOWGATE END!

IT SAYS: DONT EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR CLUB

KEEP SUPPORTING IT. ITS YOUR CLUB TRUST ME

ONE DAY YOU WILL GET YOUR CLUB BACK

AND IT WILL BE EVERYTHING YOU WANT IT TO BE

NEWCASTLE UNITED IS BIGGER THAN ANYONE

HE IS ONLY ONE MAN. WE ARE A CITY

A WHOLE POPULATION

IT HURTS I KNOW BUT JUST KEEP GOING

TRUST ME

  

WOLVES U23s 2 THE TOON U23s 0 *** FA PREMIER RESORVE LEEGUE 2

Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 6th February 2018

The Toon's second string were in action last neet at Bucks Head, the home of Telford AFC, where Wolves resorves play their home games (Aa wasnt there az we've 'done this one' many moons ago!)

We lost 2-0 which woz wor 5th defeat in a row on the road and a huge crowd of 153 torned up to watch it including at least one 'NUFC mad-sad groundhopper!'

Amazingly, az aa drove mee truck up the M1 late last neet the team bus passed me and went into Woodall sorvices, where aa normally stop anyway on the way back from Redditch!

This iz the forst time this haz ever happened to me and it seemed very strange to watch them drive by! (And No!---aa didn't bothaa to ask them for autographs at the sorvices!)

THE CRYSTAL BAALLS 1 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '1:40pm bells' Munday 5th February 2018

A view to die for!

(And I am 6ft taall!)

"IT'S CRYSTAL CLEAR!---THE TOON BAALLS IT UP AGAIN!!"

Because of the orly Sunday kick off time (2 15 bells) we decided to travel doon to 'the smoke' (London) the day before az the forst train from the Toon on a Sunday mornin' doesnt leave til 8am bells--so any problems (and there are many on the East Coast line!) and its a fair bet we would miss the kick off, az Palace's groond iz ower an hour from King's Cross via tube, Victoria train station and a 15 minute waalk to Selhurst Park from Selhurst station
(The train takes 3 hours from the Toon to King's Cross!)

Anyway! We arrived in London at Saturday tea/beer time and heeded for several hostelries to quensh wor thirst (definately ne tea!) (for "Lets gan on the bevvy in Febu-ery!" pub photos see next article doon!)

Wor hotel woz near Euston station and for the 2nd week in a row we checked into The Tavistock hotel (after bein here last week v Chelski)

Next day woz 'match day' and we heeded for sooth London from Victoria station (a quick 'gargel' there!)---and then onward to the Selhurst Railway Club not far from the groond!

It woz 'heavin' with a mixture of both Palace and Toon fans and they were standin 'five deep' at the bar to get sorved!
After jumpin the queue (az yi de!) aa settled doon with mee pint of 'liquid lubrication' for a bit 'chin wag'!

It woz soon time to heed for the tornstiles and the queues at the home end were massive az everybody had a 'body search' to get in!
The queue for 'wor end'  worn't that big and we were soon inside the smaall away concourse, which woz absolutleee rammed!

After struggling for 5 minutes we eventually made it to 'the tool shed' (toilets!) where wor 'liquid lubrications' were disposed of!

After anothaa struggle to get to wor seats in row12 we settled doon for the kick off!

After a couple of orly scares when the home side went close to scorin, it woz NUFC who made the breakthrough when a Kenedy corner foond Mo Diame through a ruck of players and he toe poked the baall into the net at the far end to send the sold oot 2,900 Toon section into joyous celebrations!
(It woz hard to see just who scored az the view from wor seats woz cr*p, but who cared!)

I took this photo with mee

camera phone above mee heed!

(Compare with top photo!)

(The Toon are in black)

We 'hung on in there' til half time and kicked towards wor own fans in the 2nd half, where Perez woz put through by Kenedy in the 47th minute, but wor number 17 lost the baall and the chance woz gone!

The Crystal Baalls pounded wor goal for the equaliser and this came in the 55th minute when 'Clarky' needlessly pulled Benteke's shirt and the ref pointed to the spot after consultin the linesman on the far side! (We hadn't a clue just why the penalty woz given at the time?)
Milivojevic <(hope av spelt that reet?) took it and Darlow got a hand to the baall but couldn't stop it enterin the goal to level things!
Yet again we had surrendered a lead and baalls'd it up!---

A RARE  TOON ATTACK DURIN' THE 2nd HALF! 

It woz then 'backs to the waall' az Palace pounded wor defence az the clock agonisingly ticked doon the minutes left!

It woz a very relieved Toon Army az the ref blew for full time az we thought that the home side would 'nick it'!
A points a point az the torture gans on!---we are ONE point above the drop zone now!

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Clark, Lascelles, Dummett, Shelvey, Richie, Diame (Hayden 65), Kenedy (Atsu 57), Perez (Merino 80), Gayle

Attendance: 25,746 (2,900 Toon fans)

"THE TRAIN JORNEY TO HELL!"

We were booked on the '7 bells' train back from King's Cross and after a couple of 'gargels' roond the Euston and King's Cross area we boarded the train that anly had 2 stops (York and Darlo) before reachin the Toon at '9:45 bells' ----WRANG!!!
The train manager came on the tannoy and said: "Because of track and signallin' problems at Grantham we are runnin approximately 20 minutes late!" He apologised for this and repeated it aboot 6 times az the train stopped dead!

We eventually got on the move again BUT! just south of Northalleton the train stopped dead again!
On the announcer came again to tell us that: "A trespasser is on the line at Northallerton and British Transport police are dealin with the incident---we have no idea how long we will be stuck here and there are 3 trains in front of us who are stuck as well!"
More grovelling apologeezzz from him!

ONE HOUR LATER we were still there when the train manager came on the tannoy again!  "The female trespasser has ran away and the police are chasing after her!" (Yi couldnt make it up!---yet more grovelling apologeeez!)

It woz hilarious!----but NOT funny!----We eventually got movin' again and arrived back at 'The Central'  in the Toon at '11 45pm bells'--- TWO hours late!
This meant aa missed mee last bus yem and had to get a taxi at 4 times the expense of a bus ticket!
Wor lass had had mee dinnaa on from '10 bells', thinkin that aa would be back by then----and a BURNT CHOPS meal woz wot aa woz greeted with az a fell through the front door at 'MIDNEET BELLS!'
Who would be a Toon fan????

More pix to follow when aa get the time!

"LETS GAN ON THE BEVVY IN FEBU-ERY @ PALACE!

Posted from 1:00pm bells onwards Saturday 3rd February 2018
And then onwards from Sunday!

The Febuary pub crawl starts here, in The Star in the Toon the day before!

At Central az King's Cross train pulls in and crosses the sacred Tyne river!
(we are on yet anothaa owerneet stay coz of the 2 15 kick off time tomorrow!)

Forst 'port o call' woz The Northumberland Arms near King's Cross where the resident black n white cat woz keepin guard on the radiator!

Next day at Victoria

Near groond

Drew 1  1 with wor goal comin from Mo Diame in the 22nd minute---- Full Geordie Times match report and pix tomorrow!

The post match 'gargels' took place here in Euston and King's Cross (London)

And then we caught the '7 bells' train back to The Toon!

THE CRYSTAL BAALLS v THE TOON *** SUNDAY

Posted '1:40pm bells' Friday 2nd February 2018 
Updated Saturday onwards

We heed for London yet again on Sunday (we nevaa seem to be away from the place!) where we play a rejuvenated Palace side that were bottom of the leegue when we played them in October---and we were ninth---but now they are above us 4 later!

We beat them 1-0 with a Merino goal in the last few minutes and little did we believe that 4 months later we still haven't won anothaa home game since then!

A debut for loanee striker Islam Slimani iz expected but we don't know if loanee goalie Martin Dubravka will play?

Victory would propel us up the table---but defeat could see us in the bottom 3 if it happens!

WOR CRY!i
Rafa haz commented on the transfors--or lack of them in ' the window'
"I dont want to create a war!--I dont need that!"----ie: He isnt a happy bunny thats for sure!  (And neethaa are we!)

More on aall this later!

THE BAD BLUE BOYS 2 SMB RESORVES 0 *** DC CUP QWAATAA FINAL

Posted just after 'high noon bells' Friday 2nd February 2018

We are very pleeezed to report that the 'Dunston Bad Blue Boys' beat the mackem resorve side in the DC Cup orlier this week in the Tyne wear derby at Federation Park, Dunston and progress to the semi final stage!

Both Dunston's goals were scored in the forst half by Fitzpatrick from a rebound and a Heslop shot, in front of a 165 crowd, which included hardly any SMB supporters!

They'd obviously hord aboot the reputation of 'The Bad Blue Boys' and had opted to stay in their wearside hovels instead!

Well done Dunston!   Anothaa defeat for Chris the Coleman!

THE TOON 1 THE BORNLEY HILLBILLIES 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '1:20pm bells' Munday 1st February 2018

"Justice woz NOT done!"

The sequence of events were az follows!

17th minute: After bein on top for the forst period of the forst half, new boy Kenedy hit a powerful 20yard shot which hit the post at The Gallowgate End!
Atsu woz at hand to hit the rebound into the net, but instead hit it straight at Pope Nicholas (Nicholas Pope!) in the Bornley goal!
A great chance wasted!

THE TOON ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE END (1st half)

34th minute: 'President' Kenedy who woz havin a great debut iz pulled doon on the edge of the box and the ref points straight to the spot!
To everyones dismay Joselu, who woz havin an indifferent game stepped up to take it, but hit a weak effort to the right of Pope who palmed it away for a corner!
Anothaa great chance wasted!

ACTION AT THE LEAZES END (2nd half)

65th minute: We were on the front foot again in the 2nd period and a great corner swung in by Kenedy from the Leazes/East Stand corner foond Lascelles who sent a powerful heeder into the back of the net to open the scorin' for 'us'!

75th minute: Joselu had a great chance to seal the points when he woz put through by Murphy, but hiz shot went agonisingly past the far post, when it looked easier to score!!!
YET anothaa great chance wasted!!!

And then 'the killer' goal!
85th minute: The ref gave a corner after Darlow palmed the baall away
The corner foond a Bornley player but hiz effort went ower the bar az Darlow stretched to save it---He MISSED it but the ref  claimed that Darlow HAD touched the baall ower the bar, but he clearly HADNT!

The resultin' 2nd corner foond the heed of Bornley's Vokes and he sent hiz effort goalwards---Darlow palmed the baall twice but woz unable to stop it gannin into the back of the net!
It woz agony!---a corner that wasn't had brung wor visitors back from the brink of defeat!
(I watched the highlights of the game 'later on' and whoever edited it had shown the forst corner---and then the goal!----but like aa say, it woz the disputed 2nd corner that resulted in the goal that WASNT shown for some reason! (BBC bias again?)


Just how we didnt win this game easily iz a mystery to us all!
In a game dominated by NUFC we just couldn't finish them off and had to settle for a point instead, to extend wor winless home games to EIGHT in the Premyaa Leegue!
Both Kenedy and Diame had outstandin' games and hopefully this and wor new 'loanee signings' will help hold us in good stead for the 13 remainin games!

The draw took us up to 14th place in the table---but don't be fooled az we are anly ONE point off the bottom 3!---it's THAT tight! 

ITS A BIT BLURRED, BUT THIS IZ A MESSAGE

TO WOR OWNER FROM THE GALLOWGATE FAITHFUL!

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Merino, Diame,  Perez (Gayle 85), Kenedy (Richie 72), Atsu (Murphy 64), Joselu

Attendance: 50,174 (including 1,800 Bornley Hillbillies!)

*We say 'Hillbillies' az Bornley (Burnley) sits high up in the hills of the Pennines in deepest Lancashire!

*The "Lets gan on the bevvy in Janu-ery!" drinkers campaign came to an end on the last day of the month and now we are into---wait for it!----"Lets gan on the bevvy in FEBU-ERY!"


The last day of the 'Janu-ery' campaign in The Leazes End Club and The Bodega

  

THE TOON v BORNLEY *** TOONEET!

Posted '1:22pm bells' Wednesday 31st January 2018

                                                         

THE 'RONNY-GILL' MAKES A

DESPERATE APPEAL TO

WOR 'SCROUGE' OWNER!

We gan into tooneets game knowin' that anything but a win will be a disaster and that if we don't win we will probably be in the bottom 3 by the time the transfor window closes @ '11:00 bells'! (IF othaa results at the bottom gan against us!)

Havin not won at home since October, this will not be an easy game against 'high flyin' Bornley and tensions will be 'on a high' from The Toon faithful!

Any perminant signings now look 'dead in the waataa' and anly 'loaneez' from 'the bottom of the barrel' look possible in the next few hours!

(see letter below this article!)

We will of course bring yoo a full match report tomorrow and we can anly hope that it isn't a 'doom and gloom' one!

Az per usual---watch this space!


THE LAST SURVIVOR IZ GONE--
BUT NOT FORGOTTEN! 

VIC KEEBLE FA CUP WINNER 1955 (CIRCLED)

THE LAST SURVIVOR!

News haz just reached us that 1955 FA Cup winner Vic Keeble haz sadly died at the age of 83
Vic woz the last survivor of the 3 NUFC FA Cup winnin' teams of the 1950s (1951, 1952 &1955) and so woz the last player left alive to win a domestic trophy for us 63 years ago! (We last won the Leegue in 1927!)

RIP VIC! 

YI COULDN'T MAKE IT UP!!!😨

Posted 11 22pm bells Woodall truck park M1 Tuesday 30th January 2018 
Updated Wednesday 

ME 'FINX' THAT HAZ THIS LETTER BEEN LEAKED 2 DAY EARLY BY SOME CLUB 'MOLE'?

And wot 'fine teams' have we defeated this season?

LOST to Sporz---LOST to Man U---Lost to Man C (twice)---

LOST to Chelski (twice, once in the cup)---LOST to The Arse---DREW with The Liverbirds!

THAT'S ONE point from a possible TWENTY ONE against the so caalled 'fine teams'! (and of course, yet anothaa FA Cup exit before the end of January!)

Ne mention that we havvint won at home for ower 3 months, like!?