329 weston homes community stadium, colchester

Ground number 329
Date of first visit: 4th December 2017
Weston Homes Community Stadium, Colchester

Colchester United U23s 1
Newcastle United U23s 2 (Luke Charman, 2)

Premier League Cup
Attendance: 175 estimated

"There's anly one Luke CHAPman!"

2 goals from Luke CHARman sealed this win in Colchestaa in front of a sparse crowd, which included 6 'NUFC mad sad groundhoppers' who had travelled doon from various parts of the north to see The Toon play on a leegue groond we had nevaa previously visited!

The groond iz one of those 'new build lego stadiums' that aall look the same with 4 smaall stands and iz 2 miles from Colchestaa toon centre

Aftaa THREE 😮disallowed goals for hand baalls and offside we finally made the breakthrough bang on half time when Charman fired home
(Durin this half we aalso hord the FA Cup draw which paired us with Luton who beat Gatesheed 5 0 on Sunday)

The home side equalised just after the restart through a defensive error, but justice woz done at the midpoint of the half when Charman sidefooted home to muted cheers from the NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!

The team sheet said that Luke Chapman woz wor number 9 when in fact it woz Luke Charman and the stadium annooncer got it wrang, az well az the scoreboard operator!
Just after wor goal the ref, (who woz caalled 'Mr Hair'!) told wor number 3 Kyle Cameron that he "Was taking the mick!" when he went to take a throw in, by movin' forward 10 yards from where he shud have taken it, which brought merriment to the fans in the main stand!

'WE' got sommik very wrang az well, az we thought wor U23s were playin Colchestaaz forst team, when in fact it woz their U23 side! (Zero oot of ten for us!)(that's 'me', Dave from York, Alex of St George and Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer!) (Hence the very low 'crowd'!)

Some of the 175 (or so!)

who bothered to torn up!

"We woz there!"

(A rather crumpled team sheet!)

Footnote: Of the current 92 leegue groonds NUFC have now played on 80 of them---and 'The Geordie Times' haz been to aall 80 of them az well!😊

The pre match gargels took place here in Colchestaa toon centre

And the post match 'celebrations'

took place here near King's Cross in London

(Where several liquid lubrications were consumed!)

Updated '1:40 pm bells onwards 'Tuesday 5th December 2017

Aa got oot of bed at 6:45am bells at the hotel near King's Cross and caught the 8 bells train to get yem orly az aa had to gan to graft at 2pm bells.
It took just 2 hours 20 mins to get to Darlo at 10:20 bells (250miles)-- and then the train didnt move?
An annoncement ower the train tannoy telt the packed carriages that the train woz gannin "No where!" az somebody had been hit by a train forthaa up the line!
Aftaa an hours wait on the platform we were telt that replacement busses would take us to The Toon and by the time we got there at 1 pm bells it had taken langer to get from Darlo (35miles!)than it had from Kings Cross to Darlo!

Az mentioned aa had to gan to work at 2 bells and drive to Redditch in Worcestershire and back in mee truck, which iz a 440mile roond trip!
Who would be a Toon fan!?

COLCHESTAA v TOON U23s

Posted 7 bells Munday 4th December 2017

Latest score updated periodicalleeee!
HT 1  0 UP  (LUKE CHARMAN)
FT WON 2  1 (LUKE CHARMAN)☺

Match report tomorrow

THE STADIUM OF SSHHH!!!! ("NOW YIH NAA WHY!")

Posted '10:50am bells' Munday 4th December 2017

sund'lind's new seats arrive to replace the faded pink ones!

If yoo ever wondered why NUFC fans caall sund'linds groond 'The Stadium of Sh***e then the answer iz here! >>>>>>>>>> 

One of their bretheren decided to drop hiz strides durin' Saturday's 3-1 defeat to Readin' and unbelievably had a 'number 2' on hiz seat, much to the disgust of fellow fans beside him!

Pictures and comments then appeared on WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook and my phone went 'mental'!

reaction from fellow supporters!

sund'lind unvail plans to make

the stadium of sshhh!!!! (yee naa wot!) an indoor arena!


The press have named the story
'POO GATE' and
the mackem who did a 'number 2'
denied he had done it,
(he would---wouldnt he!)
despite drinkin 12 bottles of Bud and 6 pints
of Strongbow Dark Fruit and
2 chocolates from hiz advent calender?
He says he cant remember a thing,
so how does he know he didn't do it?,
especially when fellow fans around him said
HE DID! (why would they make it up?) 

"NEW GROOND! *** NEW GROOND!"

Posted '11:25am bells' Sunday 3rd December 2017 

Tomorrow evenin' we face anothaa 'lang trek', this time to Colchestaa, where wor U23s are takin' on Colchestaa'z forst team in 'The Premier Leegue Cup' @ The Weston Homes Community Stadium, which iz a NEW LEEGUE GROOND for 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' to visit!

We fully expect that at least half a dozen 'mad-sad groundhoppers' will travel doon for this one, with many more Geordie exiles in attendance az well!

Kick off iz at '7 bells'
(Match report and pix to follow on Tuesday)

Meeenwhile!!!--- 'The Heedbangers of Gatesheed are takin' on Luton Toon this afternoon at The International Stadium in the 2nd roond of the FA Cup and a good crowd iz expected---if yoo are planning to gan the kick off iz at '2 bells'!

Update: The Heed lost 5-0!-----the draw for the 3rd roond takes place just az wor U23s kick off at Colchestaa!

CHELSKI OAPs 3 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '11:00am bells' Sunday 3rd December 2017

VIEW FROM ROW 13 'CORNER FLAG UPPER TIER'

"IT'S AALL SO PREDICTABLE!" 

A result we fully expected at the end of the day, but we did take the lead in the 12th minute when Dwight Gayle tapped in at The Matthew Harding End after Murphy woz upended in the box to send the 3,000 faithful in the opposite Shed End wild with delight!

It didnt last long though and the 'hazard warnin lights' came on when Eden Hazard equalised in the 21st minute with a shot which rebounded off the turf and past Karl Darlow into the corner of the net!
It woz soon 2-1 to 'them' 10 minutes later, when a wayward heeder by Ritchie let in Morato, to heed home in front of the Toon fans!

Reeely it woz ower by then, az Chelski made Karl Darlow bring off some excellent saves to keep the score doon to 2-1 by the half time break!

The 2nd half woz played virtually in 'wor half' of the field az the home side went for more goals and predictably they went 3-1 up in the 75th minute, when Ritchie brought doon Moses in the box and Hazard convorted from the penalty spot!
Many Toon fans then 'gave up the ghost' and heeded for the exits, while those that stayed (including 'us') sang their hearts oot for the lads! "We're gonna win F*** aall!" etc!

"THE PAIN TRAIN!" 

Thankfully the OAPs <(their former nickname woz 'The Chelsea Pensioners') didn't add any more, to dent wor goals against column and we trundled to the exits and onwards to King's Cross where we boarded the '5 bells' train back to Tyneside, which unbeleeevableee had a sund'lind emblem on the engine!!!!

"YI COULDN'T MAKE IT UP!"

Thoughts of refusal to get on the train entered wor heeds, but it would have cost 3 figures to book on anothaa train back yem and so we very reluctantly 'lumped it'!---News that the SMBs had lost 3-1 and extended their home record to 21 winless games then reached us!
"HA HA!"---must get this train more often!" ("NOT!")


We are now in 'free faall', havin taken just ONE point oot of the last 18 and are in 14th place, just 5 points above the drop zone az we speak!
Luckily for us, several othaa poor teams are 'in the mix', and this shud just aboot 'save us' at the end of the season (hopefully!?)

Toon team: Darlow, Mbemba, Clark, Lujeune, Manquillo, Diame (Shelvey 75), Merino (Yedlin 85?), Ritchie, Perez (Hayden 62), Murphy, Gayle

Attendance: 41, 538 (3,000 'resigned' Toon fans!)

*For 'Pub crawl' pix see next article doon!

"LETS GAN ON A BENDER IN DECEMBER BEFORE THE CHELSKI GAME!" LIVE STREAM!

Posted 'very late' bells' Friday 1st December and Saturday 2nd December 2017

Full time  lost 3  1 (Gayle)

The post match drowin of the sorrows took place here!   Match report tomorrow!

*

CHELSKI v THE TOON *** SATURDAY DINNAATIME!

Posted 'just after high noon bells' Friday 1st December 2017

We gan into Saturday's game away to Chelski havin' 'stopped the rot' of 4 successive defeats on Tuesday at West Brom (2-2)

There IZ a 'slight chink of light' when we gan there, az Chelski struggled to beat 2nd bottom Swanzee 1-0, so (hopefully!) a 'cricket score' will not materialise, cum the '12:30 bells' kick off time!

Az it stands we sit 12th in the table and 5 points above the 'drop zone' and lookin' at the table 12 teams are 'in the mix' from 9th place doonwards!

Again, we have sold wor entire allocation of 3,000 tickets despite the kick off time, which of course meenz that anybody travellin' by coach or drivin', will have to leave at 3 to 4 bells in the mornin' to make the start!

'The Geordie Times' iz takin' the sensible option and we are travellin' doon later this afternoon and stoppin' in a hotel in Fulham (which iz 'next door' to Chelsea!)

The £30 match ticket price iz £25 cheaper than the last time we were here (aye! 55 quid!) thanx to the Premyaa Leegues new maximum price cap, although the train iz very expensive at £81:50 (and that's with a railcard givin' us 33% off!)

A full match report and 'Lets gan on a bender in DECEMBER' pub crawl crusade will appear on theeze pages sometime on Sunday!
PS: Az the kick off time iz so orly, we will probably anly have time to de just ONE bar before the match!

(See 'Bender' article below) 

"LETS GAN ON A BENDER IN NOVEMBER AND DECEMBER!" CAMPAIGN!

Posted '11 20am bells' Sunday 5th November 2017
Updated Friday December 1st

We at 'The Geordie Times' are sick to death of hearin 'do gooders' tryin to stop us havin a 'gargle or 10' in their 'Dry January' and 'Go sober in October' campaigns--SO! 'The Geordie Times iz 'fightin back' with wor 'LETS GAN ON A BENDER IN NOVEMBER AND DECEMBER!' campaign and we had many Toon fans support us az they joined in wor defiant fight against the non drinkers!

On average 21 boozers are shuttin' each week and more worryingly a staggerin' 30,000 of them have closed their door for the last time since the 1970's when there were more than 75,000 pubs!---Now there are fewer than 47,000!

"The British pub iz unique, rooted in wor history, datin' from Roman and Saxon times!"
(Quote from 'The Campaign for Real Ale (CAMRA)

The photos of these 'defiant drinkers' are from The Bodega, The Black Bull and Tilleys Bar before and after the Bournemoooth home game

                         "POWER TO THE PLONKIES!"

THE BAGGIE TROOSERS 2 THE TOON 2 PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017 2018

Posted 10:00am bells onwards, Wednesday 29th November 2017 on the train yem!

"THE GREAT ESCAPE!"

Yet anothaa 'faall asleep game' woz endured by the Toon faithful!
Yet again we conceded in forst half stoppage time which meant that went in behind at the break!
It woz soon 2 0 to WBA in the 50th minute when they scored due to slack markin by us and aall looked lost!

However! Just 3 mins later we got 1 back when Clark heeded in a Richie corner to half the defecit!

Then Richie torned provider again from a free kick on the edge of the box which woz sliced into the net by a West Brom player to level things with just 8 mins left---to send the 2,600 Toon fans into extaseee!

Matt Richie free kick which lead to equaliser

'The great escape' had happened and we came away with a precious point which saw us climb to 12th position in the table--- for the time being at least!

Toon Team: Darlow  Yedlin  Lejeune  Clark  Mbemba  Hayden(Shelvey 79)  Merino  Murphy(Aarons 63)  Perez  Richie  Joselu(Mitrovic 73)

Attendance: 25,534 (2,600 very relieved Toon fans!)

VIEW FROM ROW 'AA'

LETS GAN ON A BENDER BEFORE THE WEST BROM GAME!

Posted in Bormingham on a live stream!