"SIXTY YEARS AND STILL WAITIN'!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 7th May 2015

60 years ago today NUFC won wor LAST domestic trophy when Jimmy Scouler lifted the FA Cup @ Wembley!
We beat Man City 3-1 in front of a 100,000 crowd!
'Wor Jackie' Milburn, Bobby Mitchell and George Hannah scored wor goals!

I can remember wavin' my rattle that day! <(I waz in my PRAM!)

"THAT'S SIXTY YEARS ---AND COONTIN'!"
We ARE an impatient lot!---arnt we!?

NUFC ******** NEW SHIRT SPONSORS!

Posted '1:23pm bells' Wednesday 6th May 2015

Excluuusive news reaches 'The Geordie Times' from one of wor most dedicated and intrepid paparazzi reporters, namely, 'International Russcue', that NUFC will have new shirt sponsors for next season! 

"YI JUST COULDN'T MAKE THIS UP!"

Posted '9:02pm bells' Munday 4th May 2015

"GET YOUR SUNDAY 'CARVERY' HERE!"

TRUE STORY!-- News that will 'rock yoo to the core'---'The Geordie Times' lorns that John 'The Pie' Carver used to be the manager of 'The Denton' pub's  Sunday Leegue side from Newcastle's West Road in the 1980s

They were relegated TWICE from The Sunday Pub Leegue under Carver's leadership!" --This iz NOT a 'wind-up'---it's TRUE!

WOT MORE CAN WE POSSIBLEEEE SAY?????

BOURNEMOOOTH! *** OR! *** "NEW YORK!"??

Posted '7:51pm bells' Munday 4th May 2015

"NO!"---NOT!--THAT 'NEW YORK'!"

News that John 'The Pie' Carver haz been given THREE more games to "Fack us up" haz been conformed by NUFC after 'The Wally with the Brolly' torned us doon to stay at Derby Coonty!

We reeeely divvint naa wot to say???---but we are speechless az to the way the club iz heedin' in the next couple of weeks!

Bournemoooth have been promoted to the Premyaa Leegue and the team who play at 'The New York Stadium' have just avoided relegation to the thord tier of Ing-er-lish futbaall! (Rotherham!)

The question on everybodys lips ---iz!--- just where we will be playin' next season!

THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE 3 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2014-2015

Posted '11:27am bells' Sunday 3rd May 2015


THE TOON MAKE A RARE ATTACK DURIN THE 2nd HALF----
TOOO LATE BY THIS TIME!


"THREE goals against, TWO sendings off and anly ONE outcome!"

Before the match in the club we normally gan te doon here, I predicted that we would lose 2 or 3 nil---that came back to haunt me not lang after az we nosedived toward oblivion!

John Carver's tactic of playin' 10 at the back to try and pinch a point unravelled after barely 30 seconds on the clock when Lestaa took the lead through a heeded goal by Ulloa who beat Coloccini to the baall from a corner kick!

"WOT THE HELL DO I DO NOW!"--Carver surely muttered az he stood in the technical area opposite us, scratchin' hiz heed!

It waz soon 2-0 az the home crowd roared their team on when Morgan beat The Toon defence to toe poke the baall past goalie Tim Krul! Krul appealed for 'offside' but the official were havin' none of it! ----That's TWO-NIL after just 17 minutes!


View from row 'N' seat 409 (away stand tier 1)
("There's anly ONE TIER anyway?")


Pathetic iz the anly way to describe this performance from us and not lang after Morgan's goal The Toon's  Riviere fluffed an easy chance to pull one back!---That's NE goals from him in TWENTY Premyaa Leegue appearences now!

Just after the restart it waz 3-0 "and (not so) good afternoon!" when a needless penalty waz given away by Riviere in the 48th minute!
The 1,900 Toon fans huddled in one corner of the stadium were not impressed az they slagged 'The Fat Contoller,' Carver and the players off!--and one banner summed up wor sorry situation

THE BANNER SAYS: WE DON'T DEMAND A TEAM THAT WINS
WE DEMAND A CLUB THAT TRIES!

TWO 'sendings off' followed when Williamson needlessly hacked doon Vardy in the 62nd minute and then at the death Janmaat followed him to the showers for a 2nd bookable offence!
Williamson's dismissal waz condemned by Carver and he said that in hiz opinion he INTENTIONALLY got himself sent off to miss the next two games!

We have played a total of 803 Premyaa Leegue games and this will surely gan doon az one of wor very worst!
The stats are frightenin' under Carver's stewardship!
EIGHT defeats in a row <(*the WORST in wor entire history!) NE goals in the last FIVE away games, just ONE away win aall year and now just TWO points above the SMBs in the 3rd relegation place with just THREE games to gan to save wor skins!

Toon team: Krul, Janmaat, Williamson, Coloccini, Dummett, Colback, Ryan Taylor (De Jong 58), Sissoko, Gutierrez, Perez (Armstrong 73), Riviere (Anita 63)

Attendance: 31,576 (includin' 1,915 totally 'p*ssed off' Toon fans!)

*Footnote: Under Richard Dinnis we lose ten leegue games in a row in the 1970s, but in between these losses we won 3-0 against Bohemians in the UEFA Cup to break that sequence---ie: EIGHT defeats in a row under Carver iz wor worst ever in AALL competitive games!) 

Carver later summed up the match when he said:
"On a scale of 1 to 10 that waz MINUS 10!"


The pre and post match 'gargels' took place here!:



AFTER THE MATCH IN THE REGENT CLUB---DEFINATLY NOT 'OLD HAPPY HEN'!

SHEFFIELD (ON THE WAY BACK!)

 

THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE v THE TOON *** SATURDAY DINNAATIME!

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 1st May 2015

Next up on the list iz a trip to Lestaa on Saturday it wot haz now become (yet anothaa!) not lose game az we gan into May, still not knowin' just which  division we will be in next season!
Lestaa lost on Wednesday neet to Chelski to end their '4 win streak' and now face a Toon side hopin' to avoid wor 8th loss on the bounce!

We can see 'Pieman' Carver's tactics now!----10 at the back and hope and pray for a point in a goal-less draw! <(lets hope we divvint play in that 'horrid' grey number?) <(it brings us ne luck!)

Shud we fail (and we probably will!) 'The Basil Brush Brigade' will then be just ONE point behind us with THREE games to gan!
Wor allocation of just 1,900 tickets iz selt oot ,az iz the rest of the groond and there iz sure to be a white hot atmosphere to greet us!

We are travellin' doon by train tomorrow @ 7:30 bells' via York, Sheffield and Derby and will be in 'the club' where we normally gan, with (hopefully!) plenty of time to get 'comatosed' before the match which kicks off at 12:45 for the telly!  <(Note the wrang kick off time printed on the match ticket above!) ^^^

History lesson: We forst played @ Leicester 'Fosse' <(az they were then known)  121 years ago on 20th October 1894 in the old 2nd Division, when we drew 4-4 in a thrillin' encoontaa!.
Charlie Dixon, Bill Thompson, Jock Smith and Bobby Willis got wor goals in front of an 8,000 crowd

Aall time record: Played 118, Won 51, Drawn 28, Lost 39

Geordie Times history: a 1st Division game 44 years ago when we lost 3-0 @ Filbert Street---28,792 were present to witness it!
If yoo 'fink things are bad now--then 'fink' again!---Exactly to the day of tomorrows game on 2nd May 1992, we played Lestaa to avoid relegation to the 3rd Division! ('Geordie Times' archive match report now below!)

A full 'Geordie Times' match report and pix on tomorrow's game will appear here on Sunday sometime

017 filbert street leicester (1992 visit)

(GROUND NUMBER 17 revisited) ◄(been here before---got the ‘tee shirt’!)

Dateline: 2nd MAY 1992

FILBERT STREET, LEICESTER 

 

LEICESTER CITY  1 

NEWCASTLE UNITED  2  (Gavin Peacock, Paul Walsh og)

(OLD) DIVISION TWO

ATTENDANCE 21,861  (3,000 delirious Toon fans!)

 

 

"STAYIN' UP!---STAYIN' UP!---STAYIN' UP!"

 

This is a day that ah winnit forget in a hurry!, as this is the day that the Toon very nearly got relegated tih the old Third Division for the forst time in wor 100 year history.

(But did'nt!)

If the Toon lost this one and Oxford won at Tranmere, then we would be relegated. Leicester on the other hand, were gannin for a place in the play-offs, so, as yih can imagine, the atmosphere was tense tih say the least!.

Ah was like a nervous wreck by the time the match kicked off, and the whole crowd were on tender-hooks!.

The forst half seemed tih flash by, when, deep into injury time, Gavin Peacock scored his 21st goal of the season tih put the Toon ahead, despite a linesman franticly wavin' his flag for offside!.

The Newcastle fans, who were aal standin' on their seats, went absolutely crazy!, then the ref blew for half time which did'nt pleeze the 'City' fans, who started hoyin coins at wih, as we were headin' for the 'toolshed' tih get rid of wor excess 'liquid refreshment'!

The atmosphere had torned very hostile by the time the teams re-amerged from the dressin' rooms for the start of the second half.

Ah can't remember too much aboot this half either?, (probably, coz ah was half-pissed!) but ah knew that as lang as we were winnin', then wi'd be safe.

Then disaster struck!, when Paul Walsh headed an equalizer for Leicester dead on full time!.

Aal of a sudden everythin' had changed.

If Oxford were winnin' at Tranmere, they would owertake us, and we'd gan doon instead!, but neebody seemed tih naa what their score was?.

At that moment, ah was filled with a terrible feelin' of 'dread' of not naa'in what wor fate was, and the anly thing that ah could think aboot at the time, was that if wih went doon, they'd be havin' street parties in 'Mackemland'!.

(After aal, 2,000 Toon fans had went tih Joker Park tih cheer on Gillingham, in the relegation play-offs five years earlier, when the Mackems were ingloriously relegated tih the Third Division, for the forst time in their history!)

(Ah  was'nt  there,  ah  hasten  tih  add,  as  ah  would'nt  be  'seen dead' inside the place, unless Newcastle were playin' there of course!)

The tension was unbearable as the Leicester fans celebrated their goal by invadin' the pitch, and they held up play for aboot five minutes---then!---a few minutes after the pitch was cleared by the local 'Dibble', Leicester's Paul Walsh, amazingly!, torned from 'hero tih villian' when he put through his own goal, with (what torned oot tih be) the last kick of the game!, six minutes into injury time!, tih send the 'Toon Army' into raptures!.

Ah was jumpin' up 'n' doon on mee seat like a 'mad mad possessed', not carin' if ah fell off an' injured meesel!.

The Leicester fans on the other hand, had torned really nasty by nuw, and invaded the pitch again, hoyin everythin' at us, from coins tih broken seats!.

David Elleray the ref, took the players off for their aan safety, and a few minutes later, (on police advice, nee doubt!) it was annouced ower the tannoy that the match would'nt be restarted, and had in fact, been completed!.

(Abandoned more like!?)

Keegan, 'The Messiah' had saved us!----and did wih celebrate!

WHO CARED!, how Oxford were gettin' on nuw!

WHO CARED!, that the Leicester fans were hoyin everythin', bar the kitchen sink at us?

WHO CARED!, if the Mackems would be cryin' in their f***** beer when they foond oot the score?

DEFINATELY NOT ME!, that's for certain!.

                                            

After the match, wih headed for the coaches, and yi'd iv thought wi'd won the League Championship!, and not avoided relegation!, as the Toon fans danced in the streets!.

Personally, ah felt that a 'ten ton weight' had been taken off mee shoulders!.

'King Kev' had saved us from 'a fate worse than death'!, and a 'new chapter' was aboot tih begin in Newcastle's lang and 'tangled' history!.

                                            

Quiz question:

 Newcastle are one of anly eight teams who've NEVER played below the top two divisions.

Can you name the other seven?---withoot lookin' it up!??.

We will give yoo the answers tomorrow at the bottom of this article!---Divvint 'Google' it---NE CHEATIN'!

                                            

 

 

 

 

 

316 oakwood training centre, derby

(Ground number 316)
Date of First Visit: 28th April 2015
Oakwood Training Centre, Derby

Derby County U21s 4
Newcastle United U21s 0

FA Premier U21 (Reserve) League
Attendance: 101, or waz it 102? <(we lost count!)
(inc. 4 Toon fans who travelled doon, <('US'!) plus a few exiles)

"WE'RE AZ MAD AZ THE MAD GOOSE!"

The day before this game we foond oot that Derby Coonty had 'hoyed a spanner into the works' and changed the venue of this game from Alfreton Toon's Conference ground to a 'field in Deepest Derbyshire' at the last moment!--very dissapointin' for us NOT to chalk up anothaa Conference groond (it would have been 'number 17' for me!) but at least we hadn't been to Oakwood eethaa--so it wasn't a wasted jorney! <(YET!) <(see last paragraph!)   

A 'three qwaataz full' car-load of THREE set off from the north east @ '10:00am bells' with 'Michael the Mag' drivin' and me and 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' in tow!

After negotiatin' the 4 sets of major road works to get there, we foond worsels in 'The Oak and Acorn' boozer some 3 hours later, which iz in a hoosin' estate not far from Derby's trainin' ground

After several 'light refreshments' of John Smiths bitter and 'Mad Goose Sparklin' ale'!, we devoured some pub scran az we were absolutely 'clammin', before makin' wor way to the groond, half a mile away for the '3:00 bells' start! 
'Byzy from Ashington' then torned up to make it a grand total of FOWER who had travelled doon from the north east!

It waz bright and sunny but very windy az the game kicked off with The Toon wearin' that horrible grey away kit that we aall hate!

The trainin' centre sits high above Derby and yoo can see for miles across the city with fower coolin' towers from a distant power station on the horizon behind the left hand goal!

"HOW GOODS YOUR EYESIGHT?"
 (THE COOLIN' TOWERS ARE BEHIND THE 2nd TREE FROM THE LEFT!)

With heed coach John Carver in attendance to 'eye over' Siem De Jong, Adam Armstrong and Facundo Ferreyra, we started off the brighter of the sides and Armstrong went close orly on!

It waz 'The Rams', however, who took the lead through Thomas in the 26th minute, who shot past Paul Woolston in The Toon goal---The lead waz soon doubled when Bennett fired home after 38 minutes.

The 2nd half started off just the same az we attacked 'The Cooling Towers End <(wot else!?) and a quick succession of corners followed, but we couldn't put the baall away> (De Jong waz havin' a quiet game az Carver looked on anxiously on the far touchline az he stood forlornly 'aall on hiz lonesome'!)
* It shud be noted that Derby Coonty's heed coach--'The Wally with the Brolly' was NOT in attendance!

Derby forthaa increased their lead through 'mystery man' <(couldn't see who scored for them!) and finally their number 8 Callum Guy put the final nail in wor coffin just before the end!

Correction: "Er!"-Just foond oot that their 'number 11' Ivan Calero scored the last goal!---<(I blame the 'The Mad Goose Ale'!?)

"Anothaa wasted jorney for 'the mad-sad groundhoppers'!---QUICK pass me a 'MAD GOOSE' to drown my sorrows!"  


HELP! (The curse of 'The Mad Goose' strikes again!)

DIABOLICAL DASTARDLY DEEDS FROM DERBYSHIRE!

Posted '10:52am bells' Munday 27th April 2015

Just when yoo think it cannit get any worse, then Derby Coonty 'hoy a spanner into the works' and switch their resorve game against us from Conference side Alfreton's groond to their trainin' groond at the last minute!

We were aall lookin' forward to a trip to a Conference groond we had nevaa been te before <(aall 4 of us!) and then they move it to a fenced off field in Derbyshire! <(Diabolical!)

Havin' taken a days holiday to de this groond we are still gannin (just 3 of us now, coz 'Biffa the Beer' haz been there before!).
The anly consolation IZ! we have nevaa been to Derby's trainin' groond before and can still 'chalk it off' az a new groond!

The game kicks off at it's original time of '3 bells' tomorrow afternoon at 'Oakwood Trainin' Centre', Derby!

A full 'Geordie Times' 'mad-sad groundhoppers' match report will follow---eventually!

THE TOON 2 SWANZEE 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2014-2015

Posted '11:20am bells' Sunday 26th April 2015

"7 SAD SMILEY'S IN A ROW!"

Before the game 'Pieman' Carver told us that he had prepared for the game az though it waz a World Cup final!

And az we  aall naa in wor recent history we aalways lose cup finals--- and this waz ne exception!

We actually took the lead in the 20th minute through a misstayk by a Swanzee defender, when he passed the baall straight to Perez @ The Leazes End and he had the simple task from 3 feet oot to tap it into the net!
Anothaa chance fell to Riviere, but he waz unable to convort and then 'The Swan Lakers' went for the jugular.
Two missed heeders from unmarked players were put wide but then deep into injury time in the 1st half they finally got their just rewards when Oliveira heeded home the equaliser!

Double tragedy struck at the start of the 2nd half when a Sigerdsson shot from a few yards oot beat Tim Krul in the Leazes goal!

Treble tragedy waz to follow when Cork put the visitors 3 up and the game waz beyond us!
A late consolation followed when De Jong <(remember him?) fired home @ The Gallowgate End in the 88th minute---but it waz aall in vain az we lost yet again!
Results elsewhere mean that we are nuw just FIVE points above the SMB's who nuw fill the last relegation place!

Aa sent wor lass the bad news via text message and aa aalways put a 'smiley' on it at the end--a happy one if we win---a winkin' one if we draw and a SAD smiley if we lose!---That's SEVEN sad smiley's in a row!

 

 

Toon team: Krul, Janmaat (Abeid 61), Williamson, Coloccini, Colback, Anita, Ryan Taylor, Perez, Cabella (De Jong 74), Gutierrez, Riviere (Armstrong 74)

 

Attendance: 46, 884 <(ne way---more like 40,000 again!) 1,000 Swan Lakers   * Ne sign of 'The Fat Controller' again in the directors box! <(wonder why???)