GEORDIETIMES QUIZ ANSWERS

Posted '2:11pm bells' Monday 23rd Joon 2014

We asked yoo two questions yesterday aboot The Toon's placin' in the aall time aggregate attendance list:

We asked yoo: " Which position in the top ten list are we!?"

The answer izzzzz!:
NUFC ARE IN 4th POSITION IN THE AALL TIME LIST!

We aalso asked yoo: "To guess just how many fans had been through the St James' park tornestiles since we joined the leegue 121 years ago in 1893!?"

The answer izzzz!:
70 MILLION PLUS!

The top ten aall time list up until the end of last season:

1 Man U *** 85,592,912
2 Liverpool *** 74,974,359
3 Arsenal *** 71,845,308
4 THE TOON! *** 70,379,044
5 Everton *** 70,300,863
6 Man C *** 65,612,949
7 Sporz *** 65,013,900
8 Villa *** 64,094,648
9 Chelski *** 63,708,425
10 SMBs *** 58,062,481

GEORDIE TIMES QUIZ

Posted '12:42pm bells' Sunday 22nd Joon 2014

Question: In the aall time top ten Futbaall Leegue/ Premyaa Leegue list, where do NUFC stand in the aggregate attendance leegue?

IZ IT!: IN 3rd POSITION? ***
4th POSITION?? ***
7th POSITION??? *** OR!
10th POSITION????

Aalso wot are wor aggregate aall time Leegue attendances since we joined the Futbaall Leegue in 1893?

IZ IT!: 50,000,000 (50 million) PLUS? *** 60,000,000 PLUS?? ***
70,000,000 PLUS??? *** OR! ***
80,000,000 PLUS???? 

The answers will appear here tomorrow sometime!
"WATCH THIS SPACE TO FIND OOT IF YOO ARE REET!"

NUFC FIXTURES 2014-2015 *** "BLUE MOON IN TOON!"

Updated '9:33am bells' Sunday 22nd Joon 2014

The Premyaa Leegue fix are oot for the new season and wor forst game like last season iz against champs 'The Blue Moonies' of Mancland!
Unlike last season however, we are at home to them this time (we were away last season!)

Then we must travel to Bormingham a week later to face 'The Hazbeenz & Villians' and sample the delights of 'The Geordie Times away pub of the year', which iz 'The Wellington' not far from New Street Train Station!

A Leegue Cup tie iz then 'sandwiched in', against az yet unknown opponents or venue

The Crystal Balls then complete wor August fixtures when they visit St James' at the end of the month!

Wor langest two away trips will take place in September and October when we vist Sooothampton and Swanzee respectiveleee!


Then! fast forward to Xmas time where we will have some 'festive fun'? when we play the SMBs @ 'The SOS' 5 days before Santa comes doon the chimney and we are away to The Manc Muppets on Boxin' Day

New Years Days see's us at home to newly promoted Bornley, while wor retorn against the SMBs takes place at the start of April.
We end the season with a home game against 'The Jellied Eels Mob' on Sunday May 24th!

Ne doubt that there will be a canny few of them changed for live telly etc!

KEY:
Home games in gold
Away games in pink

AUGUST 2014

Sat 16th *** The Blue Moonies @ St James' @ '3 bells' <(bet it's not!)

Sat 23rd *** The Hazbeenz & Villians @ Villa Park @ '3 bells'

W/C 25th ***  Leegue Cup 2nd roond (draw on 13th or 14th Aug)

Sat 30th *** The Crystal Balls @ St James' @ '3 bells'

SEPTEMBER 2014

Sat 13th *** Sooothampton @ St Mary's @ '3 bells'

Sat 20th *** Broken Nose Bruce's Tiger Lillys @ St James' @ '3 bells'

W/C 22nd *** Leegue Cup 3rd roond <(if we get that far!?)

Sat 27th *** The P*ss Potters @ The Brit Stadium @ '3 bells'

OCTOBER 2014

Sat 4th *** Swanzee @ Liberty Stadium @ '3 bells'

Sat 18th *** Lestaa @ St James' @ '3 bells'

Sat 25th *** Sporz @ White Hart Lane @ '3 bells'

NOVEMBER 2014

Sat 1st *** The Liverbirds @ St James' @ '3 bells'

Sat 8th *** The Baggie Troosers @ The Hawthorns @ '3 bells'

Sat 22nd *** Shepherd's Bush Rag & Bone Men @ St James' @ '3 bells'

Sat 29th *** The Jellied Eels Mob @ Upton Park @ '3 bells'

DECEMBER 2014

Tue 2nd *** Bornley @ Turf Moor @ '7:45 bells'

Sat 6th *** Chelski OAPs @ St James' @ '3:00 bells'

Sat 13th *** The Arse @ The 'Em' @ '3 bells'

Sat 20th *** The SMBs @ St James' @ '3 bells' <(aa'll bet yoo anything yoo like that this will be changed!)

'Boxin' Day' Fri 26th *** The Manc Muppets @ The Theatre of Muppets @ '3 bells'

Sun 28th The Toffee Noses @ St James' @ '3 bells'

JANUARY 2015

'New Years Day' Thu 1st *** Bornley @ St James' @ '3 bells'

Sat/Sun 3rd/4th Jan *** FA Cup 3rd roond

Sat 10th *** Chelski OAPs @ Stamford Bridge @ '3 bells'

Sat 17th *** Sooothampton @ St James' @ '3 bells'

Sat 24th or Sun 25th *** FA Cup 4th roond <(If we get that far!?) 

Sat 31st *** Broken Nose Bruce's Tiger Lillys @ KC Stadium @ '3 bells'

FEBRUARY 2015

Sat 7th *** The P*ss Potters @ St James' @ '3 bells'

Tue 10th *** The Crystal Balls @ Selhurst Park @ '7:45 or 8 bells'?

Sat 21st *** The Blue Moonies @ City of Manc Stadium @ '3 bells'

Sat 28th *** The Hazbeenz & Villians @ St James' @ '3 bells'

MARCH 2015

Wed 4th *** The Manc Muppets @ St James' @ '7:45 bells'

Sat 14th *** The Toffee Noses @ Goodison Park @ '3 bells'

Sat 21st *** The Arse @ St James' @ '3 bells'

APRIL 2015

Sat 4th *** The SMBs @ The Stadium of SSHhhh! ("Ye Na Wot!?") @ '3 bells' <(bet it's not!)

Sat 11th *** The Liverbirds @ Anfield @ '3 bells'

Sat 18th *** Sporz @ St James' @ '3 bells'

Sat 25th *** Swanzee @ St James' @ '3 bells'

MAY 2015

Sat 2nd *** Lestaa @ The Waalkers Stadium <(It's original name) @ '3 bells'

Sat 9th *** The Baggie Troosers @ St James' @ '3 bells'

Sat 16th *** Shepherd's Bush Rag & Bone Men @ Loftus Road @ '3 bells'

And finaleee!
Sun 24th *** The Jellied eels Mob @ St James' @ '3 bells' <(date and time 'cast in stone'!)

"I BEG YOUR PARDEW!?" *** "I KNOW NOTHING!"

Posted '1:30pm bells' Saturday 21st Joon <(the langest day of the year!) 2014

"WHY DID 'THE TOON' UNDER PERFORM LAST SEASON!?"
"THE WORLD CUP'S TO BLAME!---I KNOW NOTHING!"

Wor manager haz been spoutin' off again aboot wor poor finish to the 2nd half of last season.
Accordin' to him the reason waz!-----"Players in contention for World Cup duty were distracted from the 'league scene' and under performed because of this!"
We have a grand total of just FOWER (4) players on World Cup duty by the way!  Namely---Tim Krul for Holland, Cheik Tiote for the Ivory Coast and Mathieu Debuchy and 'The Sissoko Kid' for France! 
Honestly the excuses comin from hiz gob get weirder and weirder!

The season before last we "under performed" because we had a load of European games to contend with and now it's the World Cup to blame!

Az there are ne International competitions next summer and NUFC arnt in Europe, wot excuse will he come up with NEXT summer???

And az for 'Ing-er-land's disasterous perfomances in Brazil, Greg Dyke says that az a "non Football person", "he knows nothing about football", and let "Football people" decide on Roy Hodgson's fate! <(he stays!)

Greg Dyke---lest we forget?--- is CHAIRMAN of the FA!
Which begs the question---if he openly admits that he is a "non football person", then wot the hells he dein there in the forst place!???

"ING-ER-LAND EXPECTED! *** AND GOT EXACTLY WOT WAZ EXPECTED!!!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 20th Joon 2014

"SUAREZ 'CHEWS' ING-ER-LAND!"


IT'S A 'NO BRAINER'!
"I WISH MY INDEX FINGER WAS A GUN!"



ING-ER-LAND 1   URUGUAY 2

Last Saturday before Ing-er-land's forst game in the World Cup 'The Geordie Times' told yoo that they had az much chance of winnin the World Cup az 'The Toon' had of winnin the Premyaa Leegue!
This prediction came back to 'bite em' last neet az they imploded against Uruguay, az a Luis Suarez 'double' 'chewed' Ing-er-land up' (sic!) and consigned them to a 2nd defeat and aalmost certain elimination from the tournament after less than FIVE DAYS!

'Luckily'? for me aa anly had to listen to Chris Waddle's 'mackem twaddle' and Alan Green's 'rants' on the radio az aa drove doon to Bormingham in mee truck and didn't have to watch this garbage on the telly, az 20 million other 'sufferers' did, throughoot the nation!  

("NOT many 'Ing-er-land' flags flyin' in wor street today!---like!) 

"ING-ER-LAND EXPECTS!" *** PART TWO

Posted '2:15pm bells' Thorsday 19th Joon 2014

Ing-er-land's 2nd game of The World Cup against Uruguay teks place at '8 bells' toneet in Sao Paulo, with expectations at an aall time low after defeat against 'The I-ties' in the 1st game!
A win would probably see us qualify for the next stage---a draw would tek us to the last game against Costa Rica needin' a win and a defeat would see us back on the plane with aall the usual excuses comin' oot again <(just like NUFC de!)

We reely divint naa just wot will happen, but I will be glued to 'Taalk Sport' on mee truck radio on the M1,M6,M5 (or whatever!) az a drive doon to the Bormingham area once again toneet!

"ING-ER-LAND EXPECTS!---BUT WOT WILL WE GET!???"

"OH NO!" *** "FIXTURE CONTROVORSY *** AALREADY!"

Posted '12:52pm bells Thorsday 19th Joon 2014

The fixtures for the new season anly came oot yesterday and AALREADY there iz controvosy ower wor home game against 'The SMBs' on the day after 'Black Eye Friday' on December 20th!

Ne sooner had the ink dried on the fixture list then 'The Dibble' have decreed that this game will NOT take place at this time or date!

It's even made front page headlines in 'The Ronny Gill' and we naa for certain that it indeed WILL be moved, live telly or not!

This haz got us thinkin' at 'The Geordie Times'??? Just how many of wor games WILL be moved throughout the season???

We've decided to see if we can guess and for everyone we get reet we will 'award' worsels a 'goal'
For everyone we get wrang we will concede a 'goal'

For example: We think that wor forst game against 'The Blue Moonies' WILL be moved.
Wor 2nd game away to The Hazbeenz & Villians we think will stay at it's original date and kick off time.
If this iz so --- then we will be '2 goals up' --- If NOT (and we get it horribleee wrang!) then we will be '2 goals doon'

The 1st roond of TV schedulin' isn't due to be published til July and we will make wor predictions before then!

The question on everybody's lips <(or at least wors, anyway!) iz will we 'score' more goals than we concede by the end of the season???
Watch this space carefully to find oot!

NUFC PREMYAA LEEGUE FIX OOT TOMORROW!

Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 17th Joon 2014 

Tomorrow iz a big day in 'The Geordie Times calender' az the Premyaa Leegue fixtures for the forthcomin' season are released.

There iz ne doubt that at least half of them will be moved for live telly and for othaa teams European commitments <(but NOT us of course!), so in a way it iz a waste of time publishin' the dates and kick off times! (For example---Last season, wor very forst game against 'The Blue Moonies' of Mancland waz put back from the Saturday to the Monday neet for live telly!)

Nonetheless!---We will publish them az soon az they are released and they shud be on-line by 'high noon bells' at the soonest! <(remember!---we bring yoo aall the news forst hand, second!) < (Or iz it second hand, forst???)

"Watch this space! ---Watch this space!"  

NUFC *** PRE SEASON FIXTURES 2014-2015 *** LATEST NEWS!

Updated '1:30pm bells' Monday 16th Joon 2014

"IZ THAT AN INDOOR SHOPPIN CENTRE!?"
VELTINS ARENA *** SCHALKE 04 FC

The latest fixtures to be added to the pre season friendlies list iz a resorve U21 away game against Barnsley on 4th August @ a venue to be conformed and wor U19s will be playin' in a tournament in Jawmany in late July 

NUFC 1st team games in GOLD
NUFC X1s in YELLOW <(games we think will be a mixture of 1st teamers and resorves)
NUFC Resorves/U21s in PINK
NUFC Juniors in GREEN

Tue 15th July *** ("Aa told him!")> Oldham @ Boundary Park @ '7:30 bells'

Fri 18th July *** 'The Heedbangers' of Gatesheed @ Gatesheed Stadium @ '7:30 bells'

Tue 22nd July *** Sydney FC @ Forsyth Barr Stadium, Dundedin, New Zealand (Sooth Island) @ '7:30 bells'

Sat 26th July *** Wellington Phoenix @ Westpac Stadium, Wellington, New Zealand (North Island) @ '4:30 bells'

Thu 24th July to Mon 28th July *** (U19s) Tournament of Spvgg Oberndorf, Jawmany 

Mon 28th July to Fri 1st Aug *** (U16s) Northern Ireland Milk Cup Tournament in Northern Ireland! <(believe it or not!?)

Mon 28th July *** Funabashi (Japan) @ Scroggy Road, Limavady @ '3:30 bells'

Tue 29th July *** Coonty Londonderry (N Ireland) @ Colraine Showgroonds, Colraine @ '8 bells'

Wed 30th July *** Espanyol (Spain) @ Seahaven, Portstewart @ '7 bells'

Shud we get that far, the semi finals and final take place on Thu 31st July and Fri 1st Aug 



Wed 30th July *** Sheff Wed <(who else on a 'Wednesday'!?) @ Hillsborough @ '7:45 bells'

Sat 2nd Aug *** Malaga (Spain) @ Veltins Arena, Gelsenkirchen, Jawmany @ '3:30 bells' (the home of Schalke 04)
('The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham play Schalke @ '5:30 bells'---same venue)

Sun 3rd Aug *** Schalke 04 @ Veltins Arena @ '5:30 bells'
('The Jellied Eels Mob' play Malaga @ '3:30 bells'---same venue)

Mon 4th Aug *** Barnsley U21s @ somewhere in Barnsley? '1:30 bells'

Tue 5th Aug *** 'uddersfield Toon @ McAlpine Stadium <(we aalways use the old name!), Huddersfield

Sun 10th Aug *** Real Sociedad @ St James' Park @ '1:30 bells'

Sat 16th Aug *** Premyaa Leegue season kicks off!

The excitin' news iz that 'The Geordie Times' will have reporters at EVERY forst team game includin' Jawmany and New Zealand!

'Little'? old me' will be in Jawmany and we are sendin' 'Liam from the Lamp' to New Zealand, where we are (very generously!) payin' for a huge percentage of hiz *8 flights-- "Er!"--9 flights! 'there and back' (and 60 hours in the air!), hotel accommodation, match tickets and food (and of course!)> drink!  *(this includes 2 internal flights between the 'North' and 'Sooth' Islands of New Zealand!)

The deal iz that 'Liam' will pay 99.99% of the estimated
£3,000 bill ******* AND! ******* 'The Geordie Times' will pay the rest! <(5 pence!) <(which we have aalready paid him in advance!!!) <(ne expense spared on wor part!)

THE GEORDIE TIMES GETS IT WRANG AGAIN!

Posted '11:20am bells' Sunday 15th Joon 2014


^ THE GEORDIE TIMES GETS IT WRANG! *** THE SUNDIH SUN GETS IT REET! ^

Just ower an hour ago 'The Geordie Times' posted that Ing-er-land had lost 2-1 to The 'I-ties'

Just bought the Sundih Sun and to my horror we got it wrang again!
We can anly apologise yet again for anothaa horrendous error in thinkin' that wor national team had lost! <(I blame the broon ale!)

Ing-er-land will now surely WIN the World Cup!