(GROUND NUMBER 293)
Date of First Visit: 8th November 2012
JAN BREYDEL STADION, BRUGGE,
BELGIUM
CLUB BRUGGE 2
NEWCASTLE UNITED
2 (Anita, Shola
Ameobi)
Europa League Group D
Attendance: 18,003 (2,600 Toon fans in the away
section plus just az many ‘hidin’ in the home
sections PLUS! anotha 3,000 who
were unable to
get tickets who watched the match on big screens
in the centre
of Brugge!) (11,000 empty seats!!!)
Day One: Wednesday
“WHO ARE YOU?”
Meesel and ‘The Caped Crusader’ caught the nine
bells train from ‘The Central’ to King’s Cross and
then ‘onward’ by Eurostar
from St Pancras (which
iz reet next door) to Brussels, where we were
basin’
worsels for two neets
After dumpin’ wor bags in wor hotel we met up
with
‘Colonel Gaddafi’ (that’s reet he’s STILL
alive and livin’ in Bracknel,
Berkshire!) and we
heeded for ‘the night life’, where, menacingly
there were
gangs of kids of African dissent
hangin’ aroond the street corners givin’ us
‘dodgy
looks’ az we made wor way doon to where the
bars were from wor hotel,
which waz aboot a ten
minute walk from the train station (‘The Caped
Crusader’
had been mugged in Brussels by some
of them a few years orlier when we played
Lokeran!)
Anyway!---we arrived at the forst ‘waaterin hole’
where the beer waz 10%! which iz twice az strong
az wot we normally drink!
‘The Colonel’ said he had met a couple of the
regular away travellers on the Eurostar but couldn’
recall one of their names,
although he could
remember that ‘Blondie Alan’ waz one of them!
He tried to describe the other one and said that
we
knew him well.
He described that he had a ‘tash’ and waz built
like
a ‘brick sh*t hoose’ but we couldn’t ‘picture’
just who he waz on aboot!
There waz a roond beer mat on the table and so aa
took it and said to ‘The Colonel’ “Can you draw a
photo fit picture of him?” He
nodded and so aa
gave mee expensive ‘Parker Pen’ (which looks
remarkably like
the ones yi get in ‘Ladbrokes
bookies’!) and he started sketchin away!
When he’d finished, his ‘artists impression’
looked
like it waz sketch of ‘Adolf Hitler’(see
top
photo!) but az we divvint naa ANYBODY who
looks like this we were
completleee ‘stumped’!
(apart from ‘Adolf’ that iz!)
Anyway! ---‘The Caped Crusader’ had a
brainwave and
decided to phone ‘Blondie Alan the
Morris Dancer’ up to find oot just who wor
‘mystery man’ actually waz! (“Er!”---a message to
‘Blondie’---“there’s NE hidin
place from ‘your
past!’---‘Morris Dancer’ it iz!)
Straight away he telt us that wor ‘mystery man’
WAZZZ!?----‘THE
BEAR!’ who DOESN’T have
a ‘tash’ and haz a shaven heed!---unlike hiz ‘photo
fit’, complete with flowin’ locks’ and ‘Hitler
moustache’!
“It looks nowt like him!” we said in unison az
‘The
Colonel’ cowered behind the table!
Anyway!---we moved on to a few more boozers
before
heedin’ back to the hotel on the ‘Brussels
Undergroond’ (we wernt takin’ any
chances on
waalkin back!)
PS: We hord later on that some Toon fans had
been attacked with lumps of wood with nails in
them in the red light district of Brussels and
were mugged!
One lad got stabbed and two ended up with broken bones!
Day Two: Match Day
“A BRIDGE TOOO FAR!”
Next mornin’ we were up with the larks and
heeded
back to the station to catch the train to
Brugge, which waz an hours ride away.
The were
a few Toon fans on it and they were drinkin’
merrily az the train sped
alang!
On arrival in Brugge we avoided the packed main
square full of Toon fans, where a big screen had
been erected for those without
match tickets and
heeded for some bars ‘off the beaten track’!
The bars aroond the square were aall sorvin’ beer
oot of plastic glasses at extoshanite<(Geordie
Times spellin’!) prices, but
the ones we foond had
‘propa’ ones to drink oot of at reasonable prices!
(two
reasons to avoid the main square!)
Eventually!—we heeded in the direction of the
groond
back through the main square where the
police presence had quadruplet since we
forst
waalked through and thoughts of bein’ held there
against wor will, went
through wor minds and so
we made A SHARP exit to anotha boozers on the
otha
side, oot the way!
We then decided to heed nearer to the ground az
police vans and horses aall of a sudden suroonded
the square in a well planned
‘pincer movement’!
(ie: it waz F*****’ time to get oot!)
We decided to heed for the hotel where ‘Big Al’
and
‘Sarnie Steve’ were stoppin’ across the river
which cuts Brugge in two---anly
to confronted by
a line of ‘dibbles’ blockin’ the picturesque bridge,
complete
with castles!
“Wor hotels on the otha side of the bridge!” ‘Big
Al’ said, az he pointed to it in the distance, But
they still wouldn’t let us
pass and threatened to
arrest us IF we didn’t de az we were told! And
pointed
us in the direction of the city centre---and
so we had to de a three qwaata of
a mile detour
across another bridge near to the train station to
get ower the
river!
The hotel they were stoppin’ in had a bar and we
decided to stop there til it waz time to gan to the
match---which we were telt
waz a twenty minute
waalk away from the hotel---WRANG!---it waz
much fortha and
az the local ‘dibble’ (bless em!---
NOT!) had banned Toon fans from usin’ busses or
taxis to get to the game, it waz ‘shanks’s pony’to
the stadium! (Wot a way to
be treated—“EH!”)
Havin’ got through FIVE ticket security checks
(that’s
reet!--- FIVE!) we eventually got into the
stadium with ten minutes to spare,
but we were the
lucky ones az quite a few missed the kick off!
Az expected there were thousands of empty seats,
which begs the obvious question---“why wernt we
given more???
Brugge took the lead in the 14th minute through
Ivan
Trickovski who shot past Tim Krul in the
Toon goal and doubled their tally just
six minutes
later when Jesper Jorgensen hit an effort just
inside the post in
front of the Toon fans!
We fought back however!, when Anita hit a right
foot
screamer into the Brugge goal in the 41st
minute and Shola Ameobi
levelled things just two
minutes later when he stabbed the baall home after
he received
a through baall from hiz younger
brother Sammy, to send the Toon fans wild with
delight! (the forst time incedentleee, that two
brothers had started a MAJOR
European game
together for The Toon!) (Matty and Richie
Appelby had both
featured for us in the Anglo
Italian Cup back in 1992!)
In the second period we nearly won it when
Sammy ‘Ami’
hit the bar with a great shot, but
there waz ne more scorin’ in the game and
after
bein’ locked in for half an hour (when!-- before
the match, we had been
telt that we would be let
straight oot!) we were eventually let oot for some
post match ‘liquid refreshments’ and heeded to a
bar we had passed on the way
up where some very
drunk Toon fans had been watchin’ the match on
the telly.
One waz SO inebriated that he’d stripped off and
waz
runnin’ roond the bar with nowt on! The
barmaid however, waz not impressed with
the size
of hiz ‘yee naa wot’ and said sommik in
Flemish/Belgian/Dutch? that! (usin’
mee vast
knowledge of International languages!) aa
deciphered to meen! (YES!—yiv guessed it!)
That he waz a big DICK with a little P****!
We then heeded back to the hotel where ‘Sarnie
Steve’
and the rest were stayin’, and a Toon fan
telt us that hiz mate had been
nicked by ‘the local
dibble’
“Wot for?”—we asked
“He got to the fourth checkpoint and waz asked
once
again to show hiz ticket, but he must have
dropped it at the previous one and
so they arrested
him for attemptin’ to get into the match without a
ticket!!!"
(HONEST!---IT’S F*****’ TRUE!!!)
It waz then back to Brussels late on and we
eventually ‘retired’ in the orly hours
“ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!”
Day Three: Friday
“TIME TO GAN YEM!”
An orly train from Brussels to St Pancras and the
onward back yem from King’s Cross next mornin’
meant that we were back for ‘two
bells’ on Friday
afternoon for a few ‘liquids’ with the lads in 'The
Hotspur',
before catchin’ the bus yem and yet
anotha European adventure waz ower and (of
course!) anotha groond ‘off the list’!
